Saturday, October 1, 2011

Chaca Chaca – from Mexico

M.Giant scored me some delicious candy from Brazil while he was there. And by “there”, I mean at a Brazilian steakhouse in Hopkins, MN for his anniversary dinner. He got a bunch of candy that came straight from Brazil. I’m going to review a bunch of the stuff he gave me. This is only one of a handful I swiped from the foreign-language-candy-box.

The Chaca Chaca, as it turns out, is not actually from Brazil, upon further study of the package. It’s from Mexico. For those that don’t know, Mexico passes a lot of things off as candy. They will dip a plastic spoon they found on the road into some chocolate, let it harden, and they’ll sell it as candy. That doesn’t inspire high hopes for this thing.
I translated the writing on the package: “Dulce de Frutas con Sal y Chile”. This means “Candy of Fruits with Salt and Chile”. I’m beginning to see where this is going.

First bite… OHMYGODGETITOUTOFMYMOUTH!!!!!!!!! After like 3 chews, I spit it into the garbage can. Absolutely disgusting. It’s tamarind, and I hate tamarind with every fiber of my being. Tamarind is barely a fruit, it’s more like a rancid raisin flavor with a little spice to it. This Chaca Chaca bar is a tamarind fruit roll-up covered with salt and chili powder. It seriously looks like it’s a breaded fruit roll-up. The brown coloring is nothing other than chili powder wrapped around a soft fruit gel that tastes like crap. So you have the fire in your mouth immediately after biting into a soft squishy moldy raisin bar. There is nothing good about this.
I spit the only bite that I could stomach out into the garbage can. Disgusting and now I’ve not only got the nasty taste of ass-flavored raisins in my mouth, but it is permanently infusing itself into my tastebuds through the mechanism of fire. The chile stuff is hot, not painful hot, but really hot. Enough to make your eyes water. And did I mention gross?.... It’s gross.

I’m beginning to think this is Mexico’s solution to the obesity problem. Give children horrifically disgusting candy and they won’t want to eat it ever again. They may be on to something…

Have I mentioned this is GROSS?!?!?

5 comments:

M. Giant said...

A) The Mexican candies came from BuenaOnda when she came up for a visit this spring.

B) Better you than me.

Matt said...

have you ever indulged in a tamarind-flavored Jarritos? it's actually ass-piss in a bottle.

Anonymous said...

oh I totally love those!! maybe cause im Hispanic....

Anonymous said...

I love them....shit talkers!

Anonymous said...

I find this very insulting, I'm mexican and we fucking love chaca-chaca.. If you're american then I can see where you come from.. i bet you love that cheap excuse for cheese you call American cheese.. THAT my friend is disgusting.