Thursday, October 13, 2011

La Sevillanas Glorias – Dulce De Leche Decabra con Nuez – from Mexico

(M.Giant scored me some delicious candy from Brazil while he was there. And by “there”, I mean at a Brazilian steakhouse for his anniversary dinner. He got a bunch of candy that came straight from Brazil. I’m going to review a bunch of the stuff he gave me. This is only one of a handful I swiped from the foreign-language-candy-box.)

The La Sevillanas Glorias, like its brothers the Cajeta-filled cone and the Jesus-wafer-sandwich, is not actually from Brazil, upon further study of the package. It’s from Mexico. For those that don’t know, Mexico passes a lot of things off as candy. They will dip a plastic spoon they found on the road into some chocolate, let it harden, and they’ll sell it as candy. Just like the everything else I’ve eaten from this “care” package, this doesn’t inspire high hopes for this thing.

I unwrapped the red cellophane wrapping around this soft caramel roll-thing. It’s much bigger than a tootsie roll nd is about an inch in diameter and maybe 2 inches long. Wait, is Mexico on the metric system? Hell, I don’t know. Frankly, I’m convinced this “candy” is a joke. It actually looks like feces. There are nuts in it and what appears to be sand. I have no idea how this is considered candy and, in fact, I don’t even want to put it anywhere near my face, let alone my mouth. This thing looks terrible. It smells faintly of caramel, but that’s about all it’s got going for it.

I pressed on and actually took a bite of this thing. It is gooey soft and absolutely disgusting. Sadly, I could taste the walnut pieces I managed to get in my mouth, but the gritty texture might be cinnamon in there. I can’t even tell. It’s GRIT. Enough said. There are other indecipherable thing inside, but I didn’t give it another taste to verify what they might be. It was just too bizarre, both texture and taste, to continue. Please kids, don’t attempt this at home. It’s a turd. Plain and simple. And I ate a bite of it.

Thank goodness I’m almost at the end of this pile of ass-flavored candy M.Giant so “kindly” brought back for me. I can hear you laughing from here, jackhole.

13 comments:

Trash said...

I don't mean to judge, but you don't seem very appreciative of the gift M. Giant bought for you. Also, that looked like a shit-log.

lee said...

i totally understand why people want to cross the border now. it's that america is the land of opportunity, but we have much better candy! if they just passed out some snickers at the border, there would be no reason for them to cross illegally.

Matt said...

i've read a lot of posts since you started the blog, and this one takes the cake. the nutty, shit-loaf, cake.

Chao said...

You guys all crack me up. My friend Jess said I should travel the world trying new candies. However, based on this little experiement, I don't think I'd like that job very much. Sooo gross.

Anonymous said...

I dont know WHAT you are talking about- I have no Mexican roots and I LOVE this candy. Its absolutely delicious. Its creamy and sweet and every time I hear someone is going to Mexico I ask them to bring me a package. All my friends and family LOVE it too. You keep eating Oreo and leave the good stuff for other people :-)

ric said...

Oh my goodness. I suppose you must think creme brulee looks and tastes like vomit.
Ah...no.
Well, this stuff is just like that, it's a refined delicious candy.
You obviously have no taste and or appreciation/respect for other cuisines.
I suppose you must think there is nothing better than mcflurry.

Chao said...

sorry, Ric. I don't care for dessert much anyway. However, I DO love Creme Brulee and do NOT love McFlurrys. I also have quite an appreciation for other cuisines and enjoy them regularly. If you had read any of my blog, that woudl be pretty obvious.

Can't a guy have an opinion? I'm not writing a factual article for the fucking NY Times or anything.

Anonymous said...

OMG...I LOVE this candy. I purchased a Sam's Club membership (I rather go to Costco) in order to purchase a product, I came across this product and was willing to tried it. It was orgasmic. Gentlemen, yes gentlemen not boys, give a piece of this candy to your lady. She will give you her candy. :)

mos ab said...

dont trust this guy. tht candy is one of the best candies ive ever tried. if u like turtles then def try it. it is plainly addictive.
However if u r gonna come at it with the mindset tht "ew its foreign" n "what if they put sand in it" i cant see how u could enjoy anything.
I love USA but i gotta say tht candies n pops here r pretty limited, flavor wise. Very little experimentation is done with new flavors especially ones tht might b considered "unconventional" But in a lot of other countries it is the opposite n although many times it leads to some abominations like a turmeric candy, other times it leads to some spectacular ones like this La Sevillanas Glorias goat milk candy.

Troy said...

Haha! I go to Mexico a lot and I buy these. They're made from goats milk and contain pecans. Leche de cabra con nuez. I like them and I'm a total white boy from Michigan. In Mexico, some refer to this candy as "caca de perro", dog shit. Visually, it is a dog turd.
I don't fault you for not liking them. It's about 60/40 when I give these to people here in the USA. 60% don't like them, 40% do. It's mostly a texture issue for a lot of them. Also, Americans are a bit hung up on aesthetics. If it looks gross, they have already determined it is and will be gross.
No one likes everything and I'm the most picky person in the world, I think. I used to think salt and vinegar potato chips were the most disgusting things anyone could have come up with. Now I like them.

Anonymous said...

love them....my English friend turned me on to them when I was in Mexico. And I agree you probably don't like creme brulee either.

Sweetooth said...

Well, I love these but they do taste better when fresh out of the goat..hahaha! Kidding aside I have had these when they are fresh and also when they have been sitting in a store for who knows how long and I was dissapointed I had to throw them away but that won't deter me as they are creamy, soft and heavenly when they are fresh.

Sweetooth said...

Well, I love these but they do taste better when fresh out of the goat..hahaha! Kidding aside I have had these when they are fresh and also when they have been sitting in a store for who knows how long and I was dissapointed I had to throw them away but that won't deter me as they are creamy, soft and heavenly when they are fresh.