(M.Giant scored me some delicious candy from Brazil while he was there. And by “there”, I mean at a Brazilian steakhouse for his anniversary dinner. He got a bunch of candy that came straight from Brazil. I’m going to review a bunch of the stuff he gave me. This is only one of a handful I swiped from the foreign-language-candy-box.)
The La Sevillanas Glorias, like its brothers the Cajeta-filled cone and the Jesus-wafer-sandwich, is not actually from Brazil, upon further study of the package. It’s from Mexico. For those that don’t know, Mexico passes a lot of things off as candy. They will dip a plastic spoon they found on the road into some chocolate, let it harden, and they’ll sell it as candy. Just like the everything else I’ve eaten from this “care” package, this doesn’t inspire high hopes for this thing.
I unwrapped the red cellophane wrapping around this soft caramel roll-thing. It’s much bigger than a tootsie roll nd is about an inch in diameter and maybe 2 inches long. Wait, is Mexico on the metric system? Hell, I don’t know. Frankly, I’m convinced this “candy” is a joke. It actually looks like feces. There are nuts in it and what appears to be sand. I have no idea how this is considered candy and, in fact, I don’t even want to put it anywhere near my face, let alone my mouth. This thing looks terrible. It smells faintly of caramel, but that’s about all it’s got going for it.
I pressed on and actually took a bite of this thing. It is gooey soft and absolutely disgusting. Sadly, I could taste the walnut pieces I managed to get in my mouth, but the gritty texture might be cinnamon in there. I can’t even tell. It’s GRIT. Enough said. There are other indecipherable thing inside, but I didn’t give it another taste to verify what they might be. It was just too bizarre, both texture and taste, to continue. Please kids, don’t attempt this at home. It’s a turd. Plain and simple. And I ate a bite of it.
Thank goodness I’m almost at the end of this pile of ass-flavored candy M.Giant so “kindly” brought back for me. I can hear you laughing from here, jackhole.