Friday, October 14, 2011

Rocka Leta – from Mexico

(M.Giant scored me some delicious candy from a friend who lives in Mexico. I’m going to review a bunch of the stuff he gave me. This is only one of a handful I swiped from the foreign-language-candy-box.)

For those that don’t know, Mexico passes a lot of things off as candy. They will dip a plastic spoon they found on the road into some chocolate, let it harden, and they’ll sell it as candy. Just like the Chaca Chaca, this doesn’t inspire high hopes for this thing.
I had no idea what a Rocka Leta was, so I translated the words on the front of the package using Babelfish – this site comes in handy for translating all kinds of foreign candy inscriptions. There is a photo of a red ball wearing sun glasses and his hair appears to be on fire. Despite my lack of knowledge of international iconographic representations, this indicates to me that this thing is hot. Whatever this “thing” is. The other picture on the package looks like a thermometer is stuck inside a Gobstopper, so I assumed that’s what I was going to get. Then, I pulled up the translation for “paleta con goma de mascar” on Babelfish. It told me it was “trowel with rubber to chew”. Really? Trowel? Rubber? This was going to be interesting.

I unwrapped whatever this thing was and it squirted red goo onto my hand. And, of course, that red goo smelled like tamarind. Ugggh. Awful. I HATE tamarind. The Rocka looked like a green gumball of sorts with a thick layer of tamarind goo on the outside. This experiment wasn’t going to be easy. I gave it a lick and almost gagged – the tamarind was sooo overpowering. I figured there’s only one way to figure this thing out – BITE it. Expecting the worst (broken teeth, acid, an eyeball, etc.), I bit the thing really hard. Of course I got a boat load of tamarind flavor in my mouth, but also some tingle. There was definitely something spicy in there.

Texturally, the thing bit in half like a cross between a soft jawbreaker and a stale gumball. It’s a multi-layered deal with each level progressively grosser than the previous one. I’m still not sure what exactly was spicy, but I didn’t keep this nasty thing in my mouth long enough to figure it out. The tamarind was killing me.

This is one of the worst lollipops in the history of mankind. Again, Mexican parents should be brought up on charges for giving their children toxic ass-flavored goo on a stick and telling them it is candy. That’s just cruel.

I’m done with this Mexican and Brazilian candy experiment. I give up. I will call it a loss in the record book, just make it stop. I’m going to find a Butterfinger ASAP. I’m also going to napkin off my tongue to get this tamarind taste out.

14 comments:

conservativelatino said...

What a whimp. Get someone with some balls to taste things from different countries.

pharmacy said...

Well, what should I say? I've been hearing to many opinions about it but, I haven't tasted yet... I would like to do it as soon as possible because it looks delicious and I really like this kind of candies.

viagra online said...

I really like this kind of candy is so delicious my grand mom she always did it for me

Anonymous said...

This candy is my favorite candy in the world and I don't want a gringa to take it away from me just because she can't take alittle spice. It's not a bad candy at all. Just because u don't like tamarind doesn't mean everyone else doesn't.

Anonymous said...

Chingo. You don't know what ur tasting. since ur a hobo ur taste buds probably went retarted like your brain and u can't taste right cuz if u could really taste it u would explode. So don't be making fun of mexicans and their candy cuz they be thinking the same thing about ur white candy...

Anonymous said...

What is wrong with you! You are so stupid and need to grow some balls tamarindo is not EVEN CLOSE TO HOT and rockaleta is the best candy on the face of this earth! Your stupid ass white candy taste like shit!! Taffy?? WTF? get out of here and stop criticizing the best candy ever. Bintche puto.. You are retarded and mexicans make way better candy and even if mexicans are "poor" they make the best f-ing candy ever ! They got some common sense of what some bad ass candy should taste like! F-YOU WHITE GUY!

Anonymous said...

WHAT IS UR PROBLEM?!ROCKALETA IS THE BEST CANDY ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH. Ur just some griengo hobo off the streets so what do you know?! And if it is true that Mexicans get the spoons of the streets and make it candy, then they make he best rotten spoons! So you need to go taste ur own candy before you start saying bad things about mexicans

Anonymous said...

okay-i just got given rockaletta bombs for the first time...and as an American, i gotta say- These things really may be the best candies i've Ever tasted lol!omg! i had to look it up after i tasted it because i was like "OMGWTF is this insane goodness makning love to my-?" well, you get the pic.

LOVE'em.Love them!
Sorry brother gringo punktongue:")
But at least you had the cajones to try'em.

Anonymous said...

While I won't go off on you like the rest of these racist idiots, Rockaletas's aren't that bad. Sure, you may not like tamarind, but no one feels the same. Just because (for you) they are the worst lollipop doesn't mean they truly are. BTW, "paleta" means "lollipop" and "goma de mascar" means "chewing gum." The candy is pretty much tranlated as "a lollipop with a chewing gum center," which is what they are.

helotesmomx3 said...

You must have gotten a Rockeleta that had accumulated moisture in the packaging somehow. Your picture and your description are atypical of these wonderful lollipops. We eat these all the time and they have never been wet, moist or "gooey" or had "slimy" anything to them. We buy ours in the grocery store in San Antonio and they are AMAZING!!! Maybe your friend accidentally threw his pants into the washer and washed the rockeleta in his pants pocket first, then gave it to you as a prank???

MrAlex154144 said...

If you ever go to Mexico look for one and give it another try. idk why yours looked like that.

Anonymous said...

I dont think it is tamarind it is chili powder. And these things are the bomb. The one you have looks like it is OLD or like another comment mentioned had moisture in it. I tried these after my son got one at a friend's birthday party and they were so good I ordered a whole box!

Tweety Rod said...

Rocka Letas are awesome! I am Asian and love Mexican candies. Butterfingers are nasty!

Anonymous said...

Ok! 1- Why are you biting a lollipop?
2- Did your tastbuds get ripped off your tongue in a horrible accident?!!
Now i want you to go get more of these wonderful gems and follow instructions carefully!
Open package carefully dum dum, try storing in a cool place so it doesn't melt.
Place LOLLIPOP on your tongue and start sucking .
As you savor the first layer of flavor you wonder , What is that? Then as you continue licking the flavor changes and melds with the next flavor and BAM spark shimmy wow why is my mouth burning??
Oh new flavor enjoy how they melt togetherand try recognizing the different flavors? Then the stick may come off and the fun begins again cause you cant put the damn thing down flavor after flavor drive your taste buds crrrrrrazy. And this is the first candy ive ever had thats spicy, i dont do hot spices.
But this is a beautiful combination of flavors. I would take it out of my mouth regain my senses and put it back in and omg , i just realized how this all sounds but this is the best lollipop EVER. It has a gum center thats pretty awesome too cause all the flavors come alive eith each bite, then it goes flat like all gum once they loose their flavour and youll be begging for more!