You Care What We Think

Mesa Pizza – Minneapolis, MN (Dinkytown)

2012-01-20T14:10:00.004-06:00

D.Rough and I had heard about this “incredible pizza” place in Dinkytown from a number of people. Yes, this place had won a couple of awards for its food, but it’s pizza – how different could it be? But we were in that neck of the woods, so I surprised D.Rough by going there.

When you walk in, there’s a giant sign on the wall with all of the different kinds of pizzas they make there. It isn’t a normal pizza ingredient list. These people are very creative – and not in a bad way. They have enough different varieties (many with hilarious names) that you could go back twenty times and never try the same slice twice. As I was looking at the menu on the wall, the guy working behind the counter told me to just ignore that list and come look at what they’ve currently got out on the counter. He told me the one pizza they don’t have out there is the one I’m going to pick. I have no idea which one they didn’t have because it looks like they have them all. There are at least twenty different types of slices at any given moment – each one better than the last.

Mesa is a slice place. They do sell large 20” pizzas, but I am guessing they really make their money on slices, being in the bar district of Dinkytown (by the U of MN).Lots of student-aged people were rolling in and rolling out of this place, so it does a pretty good business, obviously. The slices re large, so D.Rough and I decided to each pick one slice and then we’d split them. The guy offered to split them down the middle for us, so I’m guessing this is pretty common.

Now to decide on one slice out of a TON of slices is no easy feat. In fact, it was difficult. We eventually decided on the Southern Gentleman and the Pepperoni-Salami slices. The guy takes your order and then whips around and finishes the half-cooked pizzas off in the many ovens he has. You pay and then wait for a minute or two and your pizza gets serviced to you on paper plates. The waiting for the delicious pizza is the hard part – standing there smelling everyone else’s pizza cooking is torture. It’s worth the wait though.

The Pepperoni-Salami pizza has pepperoni and hard salami slices on it, and the whole thing is drizzled with balsamic vinegar. Absolutely amazing. I’ve not had pizza with these toppings on it and I would highly recommend trying it. It was terrific. The slices are HOT, so you have to contemplate scalding the inside of your mouth or waiting in tortured anticipation while it cools – you decide. I suggest waiting, but I’m a delicate flower. You can taste the pepperoni and the salami and neither get lost in the mix. Awesome slice of pizza!

The Southern Gentleman is Cajun chicken, mashed potatoes, bacon, and cheddar cheese. I’ve had some backed and mashed potato pizzas before, but this was better than any I had tried before. It was pretty spectacular. The Cajun chicken was Minnesota-spicy, so not at all, but the flavor was quite good. The bacon was delicious and the potatoes weren’t overpowering like they sometimes get at other place. Seriously. Awesome.

It was a major struggle talking ourselves out of getting additional slice. We could have probably done another two each, but we had places to go and other things to do, so we decided against it. We will go back here, without question. I think you’ll figure out why people talk about this place. It’s proof you CAN actually do interesting things with pizza and pull it off with flare. Thanks for changing my mind about this particular topic.

Top 5 things about Mesa Pizza
1. Southern Gentleman
2. Pepperoni-Salami
3. Amazingly awesome menu
4. They’re open plenty late AND they deliver (with reason)
5. Really nice and helpful people

Bottom 5 things
1. You WILL burn your face off if you try to eat it right out of the oven
2. You may have to search a few tables to find the parmesan and red peppers
3. Not every pizza on the menu is available by the slice ALL the time (just mostly)
4. The menu is so huge, you WILL have trouble deciding
5. It isn’t upscale and I know people are expecting upscale pizza these days – get over it

www.mesapizzamn.com

Bacon–Wrapped Snickers Pastries – Brooklyn Center, MN

2012-01-11T11:07:00.000-06:00

The Minnesota RollerGirls had their holiday party this past weekend at the Surly Brewery. Sadly for me, I don’t drink beer. But I DO eat. MNRG has a contest each year with a variety of categories to enter. There’s one for the best use of team colors (my amazing fiancé won that competition with her five-layer 8-inch-high cake), one for the best use of Surly beer in a recipe, a healthy category, a non-designated category, and of course a dessert category.

One of the MNRG volunteers, Johnny Crash, is a fellow bacon lover. He threw together a delicious treat that had quite a few people talking. Once they loosed the crowd on the food, I grabbed a few tiny things at the main food tables and then headed straight to the dessert table to ensure I was going to get one of these things.

Here’s how Johnny described how to make it: You take Pepperidge Farms pastry dough and cook that up. Then pop the top off and finish cooking the inside. You freeze some Snickers candy bars and then fry up some bacon. Use a bacon press so you get it good and flat. Don’t over cook the bacon or you won’t be able to wrap it around the snickers bar. Once you’ve got the bacon wrapped around the bar, put the snickers and bacon in the pastry and re-cover with the top piece of pastry. Finish the dessert with a sprinkling of sifted powdered sugar.

Voila. Delicious. Thank you, Johnny.

Eggies – Minneapolis, MN

2012-01-10T10:45:00.017-06:00

My friends M. and Trash Giant like to experiment with different culinary oddities. Sometimes it is candy. Sometimes it is crock pots. Sometimes it is a freakshow device someone gets as a gift for Christmas. M.Giant got a box of Eggies this year and after trying one himself, Trash decided I needed to experience the mysterical and wonderbang joy of Eggies.

The box exclaims “NEVER PEEL a Hard-Boiled Egg Again!” Focus on the “never peel” part for a moment. Yes, I DO find it difficult to get all of the shell of a hard-boiled egg from time to time. IS it enough to anger me to the point I’ll invent a device that actually adds steps to circumvent the dastardly shell that I so loathe? Probably not. But apparently, someone was enraged enough by this blood-pressure-spiking phenomenon to do just that.

So, we’re going to look at the normal process for boiling an egg and eating it first.
Step 1 – boil some water
Step 2 – drop in an egg (still in the shell) and wait a couple of minutes
Step 3 – remove egg from water and let cool
Step 4 – crack and peel the egg (THIS is the apparent bane of someone’s existence)
Step 5 – eat the egg

Hello, 2012. Nice to meet you. Who’s your new friend? Oh, hello Eggie! I can’t wait for you to save me the trouble of peeling a hard-boiled egg before I eat it. Show me how!

Step 1 – start a pan of water boiling
Step 2 – disassemble the four pieces of the Eggie plastic egg-shaped device
Step 3 – spray pieces with Pam or some other stickiness fighter
Step 4 – reassemble the Eggie, minus the top lid portion
Step 5 – crack a raw egg and use laser-precision to get most of the raw egg into the small hole in the top of the Eggie device while keeping the yolk intact
Step 6 – sprinkle in whatever flavorings you’d like to add to your hard-boiled egg into the small hole in the top of the Eggie. We used Cajun seasoning in our trial.
Step 7 - Tighten both the top screw-down enclosure AND the collar around the fat portion of the Eggie – this stops it from exploding all over your kitchen due to pressure build up
Step 8 – Swirl the ingredients you added to the Eggie to distribute the seasoning evenly. Do not shake
Step 9 – Drop the Eggie gently into the now boiling water with the loop pointing up and wait a couple of minutes
Step 10 – remove Eggie from water and let cool
Step 11 – loosen the collar of the Eggie and unscrew the pieces of the Eggie
Step 12 – turn the Eggie upside down and hope it slides out onto your plate. In our case, we had to coax it with a spoon
Step 13 – eat what appears to be a half of a hard-boiled egg with the mange (Trash’s term, not mine)
Step 14 – wash and store Eggie containers for when you re-gift them to some other sucker

Weird, since the big selling point on the Eggies box is it is a three step process – Crack, Boil, Twist! When do they do all these other things?

First things first: The egg, despite its appearance of having gone from an egg shape to a dome shape with a flat bottom and covered with disease, is delicious. Honestly, the damn things are fantastic. Probably helped by the Cajun seasoning we put in to help it. Seriously. It was a delicious hardboiled egg. Well-played, Eggie.

The egg is dome-shaped because the raw egg doesn’t completely fill the Eggie. The top portion is flat so when you flip it over, it looks like you’ve lost the top half of your egg. I assure you, it is still in there. It was, in fact, hermetically sealed in the Eggie container with the collar put on. I’m still not sure why it looks diseased though. Must be some sort of bubble issue or reaction to the seasoning, but it definitely does not have an appealing exterior. Just ignore those things and eat it.

Secondly, you’ve gone from a five-step process to a fourteen-step process. That’s a 180% increase in the amount of work you have to do to eat this. I’m no mathmatologist, but I THINK this is the fatal flaw in the Eggie’s intended purpose. Does it avoid the hassle of peeling the egg after it is cooked? Yes. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. However, there’s all this other stuff that you have to do that completely negates the aforementioned mission. [Editor’s note: Having just been to China, this may be the best invention for this country, since they love to add steps to processes to keep people employed – this could be a godsend (if they believed in God)]

Finally, this device exponentially increases the amount of time you’ll spend making hard-boiled eggs. Why, you ask? Because there are six Eggies in a box. Once your kids find out how miserable you are making leprosy-covered egg-domes every morning, they’re all going to ask for 2 or 3 each. You’re going to have to get up a 3am to make people eggs each morning. I’m sorry. Were you sleeping? I wanted a couple of Eggies, Mom. Thanks! See you in a few hours!

Thanks for allowing me to experience the Eggie, M. and Trash Giant. If I see them in some sort of re-gifted act of kindness for me, you will pay. You WILL pay…

www.geteggiestv.com

Gold Nugget (again) – Minnetonka, MN

2012-01-03T10:44:00.003-06:00

See? I told you this client likes to bribe me (completely unnecessarily). I’ve got another major project for him, so he’s buttering me up. He offered to buy me lunch today AND let me pick. I knew it was some sort of test. Picking a fancy place would tell him I’m high-maintenance and like to soak the company expense account. Pick a trashy place and he’ll know I like good food, but don’t like to eat at places with cloth napkins. I went with the perfect combo of both of these. The Gold Nugget. It’s upscale bar food on par with Granite City, but an independent restaurant, rather than a chain (I definitely didn’t want him to think I was a chain-restaurant eater). It’s the perfect mix of classy, delicious, mid-priced, and a varied menu.

I was already in the mood for a delicious burger, but they had a special, which I couldn’t pull my thoughts away from. The special was sort of a burger. It was two slider burger patties (see, still a burger) put on a cut biscuit and then covered with gravy. As soon as the server said gravy, I knew what I was getting. I also needed sweet potato fries. My client and I had just been talking about mac and cheese, so we decided to split an order of that between ourselves. I assured him it was some of the best around, since I’d had it a few times previously.

The food comes out really quick here. We didn’t wait long before delicious piles of food arrived. The burger was even more beautiful than I expected. I didn’t realize it was sausage gravy they had poured over the burger. Now, that’s what I’m talking about! I dug into the fries and they were fantastic. I really like how they season the sweet potato fries here. Really good and crispy without being burnt, as well.

The burger didn’t really lend itself to being picked up and eaten. It was more of a fork burger. It didn’t matter though – it was top-notch. Really a delicious burger and the gravy enhanced the flavor, not covered it up. I think I might start doing this at home with my burgers. I can’t think of anything I’d add to this burger (aside from bacon, of course) that could make it better. It was a really delicious concoction the cook made here. Sort of likes hamburgers and biscuits and gravy. Why WOULDN’T that be good?!?! I’d eat this again and again.

Finally, moving on to the mac and cheese, it was as amazing as it always is. Gruyere, Cheddar, and Parmesan cheese all mixed together and then the whole thing is covered with breadcrumbs and then baked for a really golden crispy top. The stuff is really heavy. I know there have been times where I haven’t been able to finish because of the mac and cheese. Thankfully, I was splitting it this day and was really happy to not leave any on the table when I left.

I won’t top 5 this one again, but it’s really good. You won’t be disappointed there.

www.goldnuggettavernandgrille.com

Tian Jin – Chanhassen, MN

2012-01-02T10:23:00.005-06:00

A-Wow and I had a lunch date scheduled with Killsbury Doughboy, but the Doughboy was feeling under the weather. A-Wow and I decided not to go to his favorite restaurant without him, but instead did our usual thing where we find a Chinese buffet and do some damage. We picked Tian Jin, since A-Wow had the afternoon off work and could make the serious drive out to Chanhassen from his office.

It was set back off the road in a small strip club, but there were some cars out front. Always a good sign. We rolled in and were seated right away. We headed up to the buffet. It was a tad confusing because there were already plates on the table – do we use those, or grab the ones at the buffet, like usual? We didn’t know. We went with the ones on the buffet.

There was a fairly small selection of entrees, but what was there looked good. I grabbed as much as I could, but there weren’t any appetizers left after A-Wow went through and heaped his first plate up. I got what I could.

There was black pepper chicken, hot and spicy chicken, lo mein, beef and green beans, General Tso’s chicken, and a couple of soups. The soup was about average with the way-too-thick texture going on tat makes it difficult to slide down your throat – kind of like eating an ostrich egg raw. The other things were quite tasty, though. Really tasty, in fact. The best thing on the buffet was the Mongolian Pork. It had the best flavor of all of them. In fact, I went up and got a ton more.

The second time around, I got more of the same, but I got some cream cheese won tons, since A-Wow had raved about them. For good reason – these are the best cream cheese wontons I’ve had in the Twin Cities. They even beat out Chin Chin in West St. Paul – I didn’t think that could be done. There was a new item on the buffet I had grabbed – Chong King Chicken. I didn’t know that’s what it was until I went up for round three. It was the most bizarre texture and flavor of the day. I thought maybe it was some sort of seafood – it chewed weird, was extra salty, and had a very unique flavor. I won’t say it was bad, but it was VERY odd. Like I said, I had to figure out what it was by going back up to the buffet to read the sign.

Since I had to go up to read the sign, I grabbed another cream cheese wonton and a Chinese donut. The donut was a tad dry, but the cream cheese wonton still was amazing. I’m glad I went back for this one. It finished the meal off nicely.

There is a second (unused) buffet that had food labels on it. I’m assuming they use it for a dinner buffet or some other special buffet. I read some of the labels on the sneeze guard and they were pretty amusing. Some of the tofu ones said “no chemicals” on them – I’m assuming no MSG or other weird man-made things. Just an odd sign.

Overall, the food was quite good. I’m glad we went here. It is much closer to work than I even realized, so it won’t take much to get me to go back there on my lunch break.

Top 5 things about Tian Jin
1. Mongolian Pork
2. Cream Cheese Wonton
3. Black Pepper Chicken
4. General Tso’s Chicken
5. Hot and Spicy Chicken

Bottom 5 things
1. Which plate do you use?
2. Chong King Chicken super weird
3. Green Been Beef was a little overdone
4. Snotty Egg Drop Soup
5. I wonder how large the FULL buffet is

http://eorderingsystem.com/stores/tianjin/TIANJIN/index.aspx

Doritos from Taiwan

2012-01-01T10:38:00.000-06:00

I have a client at work that I actually enjoy doing work for. He’s fun, personable, has a sense of humor, has high-visibility/important projects, and is realistic about workload and timelines. What more could I possibly want? Nothing, really, but he’s convinced I only work for bribes. I’m not going to deter him, either. He tends to bring me food or take me out to lunch, so I think he’s got me all figured out.

He brought me a bag of Doritos from Taiwan the other day, to convince me to help him with a project. Funny, I already get paid to do these kind of projects for him, and I’d probably do it for free, since he’s that nice of a guy (I hope he doesn’t ever find this blog). But fun things like food from other countries is going to win me over every time.

I busted open the bag, expecting to find odd chicken tongues or gelatinous goo or a random bone. (I’ve recetly been to China, where any of those things might appear in your food at any point.) I smelled that all-too-familiar fake nacho cheese smell that I’ve grown up with - tasty! And..., they tasted identical to American Doritos. Aside from not being able to read anything aside from the logo, they’re the exact same thing.

I know you all were hoping for something ground-breaking and odd, but these Doritos are just what you’d expect. Why am I writing about them, then? Two reasons. 1) If you ever find yourself stuck in Taiwan unable to recognize any food being killed in front of you and skewered in boiling soup and you're terrified to eat – you’ll be able to find a bag of Doritos and know they’re going to get you through the day. 2) It is a slow work day and I’m actually putting off working on this client’s project to type this blog entry. I’ll chalk it up to working on his project though. Makes it seem more work-related.

2011 – Year in Review

2011-12-31T11:25:00.015-06:00

Just because a lot of people seem to be doing some sort of Year in Review, I thought I’d put some thoughts down to quickly document some highlights. That way when I’m old and senile (in two years), I’ll be able to recall what happened in 2011.

Here’s how 2011 panned out for me:

The good stuff!...

Got engaged to a wonderful Italian red-head in my favorite town in the world – Riomaggiore, Italy
Finished my MBA
Travelled to Italy, China, Nashville, Denver, Green Bay, Seattle, Indianapolis, and the Quad Cities
Watched a TON of roller derby
Ate the best steak in the world (literally) – Chianini beef from Florence, Italy
Was the Ethics co-chair of the Minnesota Chapter of the Special Libraries Association
Went to my first LaCrosse match
Was shirtless in public more times than I can count
Sang Anthrax songs on stage with a throw-together cover band at Station 4
Am learning Greek
Joined a gym, but was raised to keep it quiet, so I have
Ate some amazing food – I could include sooooo many things here, but some highlights are the Denny’s Super Mega Slamwich of Doom, Bar-B-Quest 2011, ICP Chex Mix, Eli’s Donut Burgers
Actually found a legit beer I can drink and enjoy – Kwak from Belgium (one step closer to man-hood)
Had an awesome birthday party at Grand Slam
Played more disc golf than I have in years
Went to some killer Demolition Derby to see Derby Dan crash his car up
Ate bizarre animals – donkey, horse, jellyfish, octopus
Won a Halloween costume contest (with D.Rough) at a gay bar
Bought a new Mac laptop
Found out the house foundation wasn’t cracked and leaking, but was actually a leaky hose in the air conditioner (saving thousands of dollars)
Shoveled tons of snow
Bought an awesome grill for the deck
Went to the best party of the year – the Special Needs Halloween Party
Saw some amazing films – Trollhunter, Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, 13 Assassins, My Afternoons with Margueritte,
Went to a rained out major league baseball game and ate non-stop
Went to a minor league baseball game and ate non-stop
Saw some amazing local bands featuring my friends – All the Way Rider, Rockford Mules, Lesser Known Saint, Earthrise
Put multiple ads in the Minnesota RollerGirls bout programs, making all of my male friends mad at me for being the best fiancé ever
Played in the best kickball league ever
Got to see my nephew and niece's new babies!
Presented to a Library Science class about what I do for a living
Helped B.Sweet move into my old house
Bought Ladder Ball for our yard – it was only a matter of time
Hosted hours of Wii Big Buck Hunter on the 12-foot screen in the basement
Went to the St. Paul Farmers Market a TON
Saw amazing bands – Madball, D.R.I., The Ocean
Went to some amazing weddings – Michelle and Isaac, Tracey and Carrie, Sam and Citizen Pain, Hüsker Stü and Scarmen Hellectra, and Reney and Smokahontas
Did the .10K Triathlon
Got to go to Cooter's Dukes of Hazzard Museum in Nashville, TN
Went to my first Horserace at Canterbury Park – but only to go to the Food Truck Festival they were hosting
Did some culinary damage at the Minnesota State Fair
Helped paint Garrison and Myrna Killer’s fabulous Victorian house
Went to my high school class reunion and didn’t make an ass of myself
Got to go back to my parent’s house for Thanksgiving along with my sister from Michigan
Decorated as much of the house as I could for D.Rough’s birthday
Went to my first equestrian show (the fancy gate-jumping one, not the rodeo style)
Bottled multiple bottles of hard cider with TheDoctor
Grew some amazing facial hair and cut it into anger-inducing patterns

Downsides:

Said goodbye to one of the most special people in the world – I miss you, Curtis
Hosted far too few Bad Movie Nights (I’ll try harder this year)
Racked up even more school loan debt
Failed every biometric screening required by my insurance
Didn’t golf a single time this year
Missed both the World Pork Expo (Des Moines) AND BaconFest (Chicago) this year
Only went to the Uptown Market a few times
Missed every soccer game Killsbury Doughboy and A-Wow invited me to
Missed the annual canoe trip in Mequoketa – my first miss ever
Missed going to the Christian Homeschool Science Fair at the Har Mar Mall – those brainwashed kids are insane
Didn’t get to go sledding once in 2011
Missed out on significant portions of my social life, thanks to school (sorry Kickball, Librarian, and roller derby friends)
Missed BobaFred’s annual BBQ – again
Missed out on the Minneapolis Underground Film Festival (MUFF)
Missed every men’s roller derby bout
Saw some really terrible movies – Sharktopus, Zombie Strippers, The Seduction of Dr. Fugazzi
Went to an MMA fight - won't do that again

I’d say I had a pretty good year. No wonder I’m so exhausted all the time. For those of you who have been following me for a while, you know that I like to do a theme each year. 2011’s theme was the year of being shirtless in public. I’m down to the wire for 2012, but I’ve got a few ideas. Here’s to 2011 being a better year than 2010. And 2012 should be even better, what with a wedding in April, trip to Greece in April, another wedding in June in Seattle, and roller derby trips to Niagara Falls, Seattle, and Atlanta!

Grandma’s Bakery – White Bear Lake, MN

2011-12-30T10:28:00.003-06:00

D.Rough had purchased a bacon-covered donut for me from Grandma’s a few months back and I haven’t found a time to get up to White Bear Lake to check out what else they’ve got. But when the guys wanted to play disc golf near there, I knew I’d be able to hit up the bakery for some pre-game goodies. I’m also a gentleman, so I figured I should purchase a little extra so others could enjoy the donuts, as well.

Grandma’s is in a weird location. A sort of industrial park back behind the main road. I drove past it, in fact, the first time. I looped back around and went inside. I will say this – these guys have the largest set of display cases out of any bakery I’ve been in in the United States. Seriously like 7 or 8 separate units filled with breakfast-y baked goods. Cakes, cookies, donuts, cinnamon rolls, and a bunch of other things. I was a tad overwhelmed.

The inside of the place is absolutely enormous. I think they supply a TON of the restaurants, gas stations, and coffee shops in the twin cities, so you can see the cavernous warehouse are behind the retail portion. The entire location is filled to the brim with sugary-sweet deliciousness. It took me a while since they have so many things to choose from, but I finally opted for the bacon-covered donut, a white-frosted raised donuts with Christmas sprinkles, a chocolate covered donut, and a glazed. I asked if they had any raised donut holes, but they only had cake donut holes. Worthless.

I was pretty happy with these donuts. They aren’t the best in the Twin Cities, but they’re good. They were a tad dry, but were about perfect on the sweetness. Not over the top, but really just about right. The bacon donut was decent. The bacon was cooked well, but again, the donut part was a bit dry. And it sucked because I had forgotten to grab a carton of milk to drink. It was a long round of disc golf with a pasty mouth after that.

The other guys were happy to get some breakfast, so there were no complaints from them. And of course, I got the left-over donut that no one wanted. Thankfully, I was smart enough to buy only donuts I would eat. Hahahahaha. I still win. (…At least at donut eating, not as disc golf. I lost miserably on the last hole… sigh)

www.grandmasbakery.com

Uncle Buck’s Bacon Jerky

2011-12-28T10:24:00.003-06:00

My awesome cousin Mimi sent me a surprise present in the mail this year for Christmas. It was a package of Uncle Buck’s Bacon Jerky from Bass Pro Shop. She and her guy know I really love bacon so she bought a package after sampling it first. Despite the fact they felt like they were eating dog treats, they knew by the flavor that it was a must-have for me.

The pieces of jerky are actual meat – not fabricated pseudo-meat like some jerky tastes like. It’s not stringy or anything. Very tender pieces of meat that you can tell are pieces of real bacon. I brought it to work with me and am enjoying a few days worth of breakfast, without that troublesome grease spot you get when you try to sneak bacon strips into the office in your pocket – I hate that.

Thanks a million for my amazing present, Mimi. You rule.

(If I was really smart, I’d make this bacon last longer by thinking of new food items to add bacon crumbles to – it won’t last that long, I assure you…)

Bueno (from Kinder)

2011-12-27T10:20:00.002-06:00

I’ve been to Europe a bunch of times and one of the candies I look forward to when I’m over there is Kinder chocolate (pronounced like tinder). That’s why I was surprised M. and Trash Giant hadn’t ever heard of it. I’ve seen it in stores in the U.S. more and more. Kinder is a German company owned by Ferrero (an Italian company) that makes candy. Kinder means “children” in German, so it makes sense they do a lot of marketing of candy towards children. It’s really light and cheap milk chocolate.

Kinder does half a billion different kinds of candy shapes, flavors, and injections, so they really know how to build out a product line. The Bueno candy (which cracks me up that it’s a Spanish word made by a German company owned by an Italian company and sold in the U.S.) is a chocolate wafer candy with a bit of milk crème inside.

Picture a couple layers of wafer candy (like what’s inside a Twix, but not as thick), put a dollop of sugary sweet crème sugar on top of it and then cover it lightly with milk chocolate. There are four in each individual sleeve and two sleeves per package.

This is most tame candy I think I’ve ever received from M. and Trash, so I ate this one up before they could change their mind about giving it to me. It is very smooth chocolate and not waxy. You can tell it is inexpensive chocolate, but it doesn’t take away from the flavor. The added crunch of the wafer makes this even better. Plus the added sweetness of the milk crème on top of it pretty much made my afternoon meal.

I’ll look forward to getting more Kinder chocolate the next time I see it in the store. It isn’t made with children. It’s made FOR children.

Dippin’ Candy Banana Split Flavor Candy

2011-12-26T11:57:00.000-06:00

As I said before, M.Giant had bought a large bag of gross candy and brought some of it to lunch with Trash and I. We had just tried the Maynard’s Wine Gums – which sadly were non-alcoholic – and now we were on to the Dippin’ Candy. If you’re unfamiliar with Dippin’ Dots, it’s basically ice cream flavored sugar that people claim is eaten in space. It isn’t. They claim it’s the ice cream of the future. It isn’t. This is the candy, aka non-refrigerated, version of Dippin’ Dots.

This was the banana split flavor, so we kind of knew what we were expecting flavor-wise. There are four different colored sugar balls in this package. Some are smaller than others, but there’s pretty much a standard small-pea-sized piece of candy with pink, white, brown, and yellow colors. It is safe to assume this point that the pink is representing strawberry, the yellow is banana, the white is vanilla, and the brown is chocolate. Did each individual ball taste different though?

The answer is…. Yes! They do. You could have your butler pick out all of the banana ones if you wanted him to (you guys have butlers, right?). So M and I set about picking out individual flavors and eating only what we wanted. To get the maximum banana split flavor though, you have to eat a handful and mix it all together like in the real life non-dippin’ world. IT actually does taste pretty close to a banana split with some alterations. I’ll explain.

You know how banana flavoring tends to over power every other flavor, no matter how small of an amount is in there? There were an equal number of banana balls in with the other colored candy. Uh oh. Also, these things are pure sugar, so you should probably borrow your little brother’s insulin and shoot up before doing this (if you guys don’t have butlers, you surely have diabetic little brothers, right?).

So translated into the real world, you’d have this. First, take those trays you get for tooth whitening or for fluoride treatments or maybe a hockey mouth guard and fill it with sugar. Then put it in your mouth. Then take some sort of heat source and mold that half-inch thick layer of sugar to your teeth permanently. Then, take about 200 bananas and somehow get them all into your face hole. When you’ve done that, get one scoop of vanilla ice cream and one scoop of chocolate ice cream on top of that. Finally, stick two small strawberries into any space in your mouth possible. Now you’ve kind of got the proper ratios to visualize eating this kind of candy.

I was sick of this candy within about 5 tiny morsels of Dippin’. I know kids go crazy for this stuff, but obviously, those are the same kids who are doing lines of pixie stix dust off of pre-whore butts. I don’t think the human body can process that much sugar, and it certainly can’t process that many bananas. No way. Also, I can't imagine giving children access to a million tiny balls of sugar that you'll never be able to find unless you're sitting in an enclosed glass box while eating them (the candy, not the children). These little bastards roll EVERYWHERE (again, the candy, not the children).

Thanks for letting me try this candy, M. and Trash, but I don’t think I can have any more of that stuff. I’m going to go chisel my teeth now. Again.

Maynard’s Wine Gums

2011-12-25T12:38:00.003-06:00

While having lunch with M. and Trash Giant, Trash had brought a couple of candies for M. and I to try. Apparently, M. had picked up a large back of grotesque candy and Trash loves to watch M. and I’s faces contort as we try to power through them.

The first on the list was Maynard’s Wine Gums. Yes, as in wine-flavored gummi candy. They come in a tightly wrapped plastic tube and look sort of like JuJu Be’s or Dots. We sorted them out, so both M. and I got the same number of each color. With the exception of the green one. Wait, what? Green? Yes. Green.

We started out with the darkest one. We figured we’d bust out the lighter wines first to maintain proper palate, right? Yeah, we’re classy like that. We jumped right into what was sure to be a Zin or maybe a Pinoi Gris. Frankly, it wasn’t bad. It chewed like a JuJu Be or a Dot, and stuck to your teeth like one, as well (remember this part). It really didn’t taste a whole lot like wine, but I guess you could kind of see where they were going with it. Not a bad start.

We headed for the darker colors next. In fact, there was an orange-ish colored one that I went right for. I’m not sure if it was meant to be a rose or something, but it was delicious. It did taste a little like orange, but I wasn’t sure if my mind told my tongue it was going to taste like that due to its color. Stupid brain. It was good though.

Then, M. claims he read “Claret” on one of the gummis somewhere, but I couldn’t see that anywhere. That one was far less tasty than either of the first ones. Not sure exactly what the flavor was on that one. Not awful, but not good.

We finally got to the darkest of the bunch – I’m sure it was Merlot. It wasn’t Merlot. It was basically a rubber tire flavor. Absolutely disgusting. Not quite a black gummi, it was such a dark purple that it appeared to be black and evil. It tasted awful. I finally decided we should split the green one. What wine was going to be green. None at all, in fact. It was lime. I’m not sure how limes made it into a wine-flavored package, but one of them did. I thought perhaps maybe it was supposed to represent a margarita or something else alcoholic. It wasn’t bad, though.

And for the finisher, I had stashed an extra orange one to cleanse my palate. It was probably the smartest thing I had done since starting this odd version of adult gummi bears. I don’t think I’d recommend these gummis to anyone. They’re not terrible and they’re certainly edible, but if you’re looking for a buzz, go ahead and soak some gummi bears in vodka like a normal person.

Surabhi – Bloomington, MN

2011-12-24T23:15:00.005-06:00

One of my blogger friends, Jen, recommended this place to me after reading one of my reviews on a local Indian buffet in Bloomington. I took her advice and tricked M. and Trash Giant into meeting me there for lunch. It’s in a strip mall, so it’s already got something going for it. Minnesota is known for having amazing strip mall food. Seriously.

M. and Trash got there before I did and were seated and given a pitcher of water. This is the last time there would be interaction with the staff until we got up to pay. Really. Hilarious. We even get to fill our own water cups with the pitcher on the table.

When I sat down, Trash was excited to show me that M. had commandeered a giant bag of gross candy and we’d be finishing our meal with some tasty desserts. Brilliant. Let’s get started.

This place has many of the things you’d expect to see on an Indian food buffet, Tandoori chicken, Naan, garlic naan, different rices, palak paneer, goat curry, and a few others. But it also has Okra Masala, butter chicken, some other paneer with orange mush and cheesy bits (shahi paneer, perhaps?), potato pakora, sambhar and a bunch of other things. They even have the rolled up crepe-like things called dosa – there wasn’t any filling, so I’m assuming it was the Moong Masala Dosa (based on their website photos).

I loaded up the plate with considerable portions and then laid my various breads over the top of everything. There wasn’t a single thing I didn’t like, but I will tell you one of my favorite surprise things I liked. The Okra Masala was sooo good. Very spicy and not at all what I expected. I’m not always a huge okra fan, but prepared this way was the best I’ve ever had it. It wasn’t slimy at all and had great seasoning, heat, and flavor. I had to get seconds of this stuff. The goat curry was nice and tender and fell off the bone, which was nice. The butter chicken also had some kick to it, so I really enjoyed that. And you could tell M.Giant also did, since he loaded his entire plate with that and naan. He doesn’t ply around when he finds something he likes.

And of course I went back for a second plate. I mainly got the same things I did the first time, since I didn’t fine anything I didn’t like on the buffet. The paneers were quite good and had flavor, which some Indian places manage to cook OUT of the dish sometimes.

M.Giant also pointed out a hilarious note taped to the buffet. “Please ask your Waiter/Manager If you are Allergic to Nuts of Spices.” M.Giant simply asked, “How would they know?” We chuckled about this throughout the meal, trying to figure out if they had some sort of mind reading ability, or millions of years of Indian medicine had flown under the radar. One of the best signs ever.

This was one of the best restaurant recommendations I’ve ever gotten, and I can’t thank Jen enough. She’s absolutely right. It was some of the best Indian food I’ve eaten and it was spicier than any I’ve eaten, as well. Be ready for it! I can’t wait to come back to this place.

Despite sharing odd candy for dessert after the meal, I’ll review the candy in separate posts. They deserve their own attention.

www.surabhicuisine.com/SurabhiHome.htm

Wildfire – Eden Prairie, MN

2011-12-23T11:06:00.003-06:00

My boss was in town and wanted to take our work team out for a nice dinner. We thought we’d do something close to the office and people voted on Wildfire – it’s a nice restaurant at the corner of the Eden Prairie Mall. I’d been here before, but haven’t reviewed it, so I was pretty excited for it. I remember the food being quite good the last time I ate here, but that was a few years back. Wildfire is a Lettuce Entertain You restaurant (the same folks that own Maggiano’s, Big Bowl, and a few other nice chain restaurants). Wildfire is sort of a Chicago-based place, and is known for its steaks and chops.

The first thing I did was order a Jack and Coke – hey, if the company’s paying for it, I’m not going to skip out on the aperitif, right? After spending what seemed like hours deciding what I was going to eat, I finally settled on the lamb chops – the Lamb Porterhouse Chops, to be exact. I wasn’t sure how these were going to be put on a plate, but I do love lamb. I also had to pick a side with my entrée, so I went with the mac and cheese. Fancy restaurants usually do this up nicely when you see it on the menu, so I felt good about ordering it.

The servers bring out delicious onion bread before the meal so everyone is sure to get full on it. We decided we didn’t need appetizer, but we apparently made up for it by going through like 12 loaves of bread. Really good stuff.

The food came out quickly, especially for as busy as the dining room was. It looked delicious. I started with the mac and cheese. It had some bread crumbs on the top and was baked, so I had high hopes for it. Sadly, it was just alright. The cheese wasn’t like cafeteria cheese or anything, but it wasn’t anything I’d rave about. It was just good. Maybe if they had used a different cheese or had a thicker cheese crust on it, it would have knocked my socks off. But as it was, I was hind of meh about it.

Why not have another Jack and Coke? Don’t mind if I do, boss!

The lamb chops, on the other hand, redeemed the mac and cheese ten-fold. The chops were like little porterhouse steaks and looked really cute. They were sitting in some lamb juice and smelled fantastic. I cut into one and it was perfectly cooked (medium). Very tender meat on this tiny porterhouse and the flavor was top-notch. Some of the best lamb chops I’ve eaten. I probably should have stopped after two chops, but I went on to finish the third one – it was worth it. A very nice char on the top of the chops, without having a burnt taste, and it was full of juice, despite there being a nice pool of juice on the plate. I’d get these again, over and over. Really fantastic work on the Lamb Porterhouse Chops.

I love hanging out with my work team, and we even have a few new team members who I’m happy to hang out with and get to know further. My boss divulged I have a food blog, so they are probably going to be looking for it. I tried not to smack-talk them too much in this post. I can reserve that for when they forget all about the blog… then it is ON.

Top 5 things about Wildfire
1. Lamb Porterhouse Chops
2. Onion Bread
3. Really appetizing menu
4. Very helpful staff (there are tons of people working the floor)
5. Everyone raved about their food

Bottom 5 things
1. Mac and cheese was almost a let down
2. Very loud walkie-talkie speaker near our table next to the kitchen – very loud
3. Not cheap
4. The tables are really close together so it is difficult for staff to get around the dining room
5. Too stuffed to eat anything from the delicious dessert cart our server brought around

www.wildfirerestaurant.com/eden-prairie

Giant Gummi Bear

2011-12-22T10:24:00.002-06:00

My wonderful fiancé bought me a gummi bear for my birthday this past year. For some reason, I’ve not found a good reason to eat it. I know it sounds like one measly gummi bear, but I assure you, this thing is a force to be reckoned with. It’s enormous.

As you can see from the photo, it is bigger-than-fist-sized and on a stick. Everything’s better on a stick, and this is no different. I had wondered why she asked me what my favorite flavor of gummi bear was shortly before my birthday, and I found out soon enough. I still don’t know why I haven’t eaten this thing.

We both did our best to eat this thing in one sitting, but it isn’t possible. It’s like drinking a gallon of corn syrup with a little bit of pineapple flavor in it. It’s delicious for about three minutes, then it’s painful and your jaw locks up (twss). I put it back in the bag and its coffin-like carrying case. I’ll eat the thing later. I just wanted people to see how enormous this thing is (twss).

Thanks for the birthday gift, lady. It is perfect!

Rebanaditas (Mexican candy)

2011-12-21T10:01:00.003-06:00

I know I said I was going to stop eating Mexican candy a few posts ago, but I didn’t know someone was going to bring a piñata to my house filled with candy. I felt obligated once the donkey innards exploded all over my living room floor.

I was surprised to see chicken-flavored suckers in the pile, and I left those alone. Especially since I have a bag of them from a prank I played a few years ago. They’re not getting eaten at my house, so we sent them home with someone who has children. Maybe those chicken suckers will cure them of candy forever. (yes, they ARE shaped like little roasted whole chickens and yes they DO taste like chicken – freakshow)

I picked up something called Rabanaditas. The picture looks like watermelon on a stick. What could be bad with that, right? Surely nothing!

Well, you would be wrong. It looked like the thing was wearing a furry little brown coat. It certainly couldn’t be dirt, even though that’s what it looked like. It isn’t dirt, my friends. It’s chili powder. Mmmmmmmm, nothing says hot luchadore kick in the face like covering a sub-standard watermelon Jolly Rancher with a thick coat of chili powder. People’s faces were on fire after they took one lick of this thing. I’m convinced this is the worst thing you can do to someone who lives in Minnesota – they have very wussy spice palettes here. This candy is like Minnesotan Kryptonite. It’s painfully hot, even though you really want to get to the middle where the awful taste of a bad watermelon-flavored hard candy resides. It isn’t even worth powering through. It wasn’t too hot for me, but it was definitely spicy.

This confirms my fact that Mexican candy is borderline (no pun intended) child abuse. They REALLY don’t want their children eating candy. I applaud the entire culture for going to this extreme to stop diabetes around the world, but there has to be a better tasting way to do this.

The upside to this entire event is that there was no tamarind in this candy. I can’t wait for people to come over to my house and dip into the ole’ candy dish… (insert evil laugh here…)

Chef Driven Food Truck – Broomfield, CO

2011-12-20T09:57:00.003-06:00

I won’t write very much about this food truck, and I only have one picture, but I will tell you this. The food there is top-notch. I stood in line for quite some time while on a break from the 2011 Roller Derby World Championships, and listened to people rave about the food. Due to the direction of the sun, it was impossible to even see the video monitor with the menu on it because of the glare. The truck had the website written on the truck itself, so people all hopped on their smartphones and found out the menu online (thankfully). The menu is extremely diverse. Dishes inspired by Cuban, Vietnamese, Korean, Spanish, and Mexican food. Eclectic, but delicious-sounding. We were all ready with our orders by the time we got to the window to order.

With as busy as it was, the food truck was running out of food, but thankfully, they had what I wanted when I got to the window. I heard tons of people talking about the Kogi – the Korean BBQ short ribs. I wasn’t even sure what I was going to get, but enough people were talking about them, that I knew it would be awesome. They guy even ran out of tortillas and toppings to make taco out of (the normal way they’re presented), but it was alright with me. I got an aluminum foil wrapped little packet that was super hot and a drink and I went inside.

I should have taken photos of this thing, so you knew what to expect. It was a thinly sliced set of a couple short ribs in an Asian-flavored sauce. The meat was delicious – it chewed well (meaning it wasn’t stingy at all and was very tender) and it had the best flavor I can remember in a long time. I don’t even think it would be as good if you added the tortilla and toppings. It was perfect the way it was – just the meat.

I left a nice pile of bones in the aluminum when it was all said and done. If I didn’t have to stand in line for another half an hour and if one of the roller derby bouts wasn’t starting, then I would have gone back for more. Seriously, these were the best Korean short ribs I’ve ever had. And judging from the comments everyone else had, everything the truck has is awesome.

http://thechefdriven.com

Tom’s Home Cookin’ – Denver, CO (2nd time)

2011-12-19T09:59:00.003-06:00

A few years back, my good friend EyeHeartPizza told me about Tom’s Home Cookin’ when I went out to Denver. I have dreamt of this place ever since. So when the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association decided to host the world championships of roller derby in Denver, I knew at least one place I was going back to.

I went out to Denver with a few of the other derby spouses and talked Mr. Novia into driving me around after we played some disc golf the first morning. The last time I was there, there was a line out the door. I didn’t see a line this time when we pulled up, so I was worried they weren’t open. However, when we walked in the door, immediately, large groups of people appeared and the line was out the door. We made it just in time.

The menu boards were as I remembered them. The dry erase boards tell you what is available that day. It changes all the time, so you don’t know what you’re going to get, but I can assure you it’s all delicious. No checks, credit cards, or IOU’s – cash only. I was torn on what to order since I knew everything was good, but I finally decided on country fried steak and gravy with some mac and cheese and broccoli rice (and a side of jalapeno cornbread).

They serve it up right away and you get your drinks at the drink station. If you’re a fan of sweet tea, you’re in luck – Tom’s has the best and a good variety of different flavors of it. I went with the Strawberry Fanta. I’m a big fan.

We found a seat, thankfully – since we were ahead of the rush. The mac and cheese is delicious. Just like I remember from last time – it reminded me of how my Alabama grandma used to make. Home made, with velveeta cheese and not much else. Awesome. The broccoli rice was also fantastic and cheesy – apparently, I was in a cheesy mood. The country friend steak was good. Not stellar and amazing, but it was really good. I can’t say that I’ve had better, but maybe there’s just a plateau of country fried steak and it’s hard to surpass that. Like I said, it was good, but not game changing. I would probably get something else the next time I go (and I WILL go again), but Id’ not steer anyone away from the country fried steak. I just simply want to try more things on the menu.

Tom’s, I’m looking forward to telling more people about your restaurant and getting additional hordes of people to show up at your door – not that you need it. You are one of my favorite restaurants in Denver and I am looking forward to my next trip out there. Fortunately I have a cousin who lives in the area with an awesome husband and amazingly cute kids, so I don’t need THAT much of an excuse to come for a visit!

No top five since I did that last time. I just wanted to remind people to go here!

Bar-B-Quest 2011 UPSET!!!!!!

2011-12-17T11:04:00.001-06:00

A few months back, HotGirlsBrother and I were pretty upset to find out that C. G. Hooks BBQ was delicious. We were upset because A) the restaurant is quite a drive from either of our places and B) C.G. was up against our number one seed, Lee’s & Dee’s. Neither of these things should upset us at all. The ribs are simply amazing at both places.

Since that time, there have been numerous conference calls, spreadsheets, graphs and charts, and tears shed over who was going to come out on top during this particular battle. And it WAS a battle.

HotGirlsBrother and I love Lee’s & Dee’s. In fact, L&D’s has been a game changer for both of us since we first tried it a few years back. We’ve recommended it to everyone that asks about ribs (and a few that didn’t ask about ribs). The ribs there are top notch and the folks that work there are super friendly. They also have Galaga in the restaurant – bonus! I will, however, defer to the fact that this is a single elimination tournament format. Each restaurant (unknowingly) has one shot at beating the BBQ place they are up against. The last time we went to Lee’s & Dee’s (meaning the one shot in time that we are gauging the head-to-head battle with another rib place), both HotGirlsBrother and I had fantastic meals – as usual. Sadly, one of our party got a bad batch of ribs, though. Normally we don’t believe her (I’m TOTALLY kidding, Low-Vee), but this time, she stopped after two of her ribs. I ate them later that night re-heated and was horrified to find Low-Vee was right. They were absolutely a different batch of ribs from the ones the rest of our group ate. It’s simple things like inconsistency that cost Lee’s and Dee’s the battle.

…Plus, we never saw C.G. Hooks coming. All around, they excelled. The ribs were incredible and the sides actually beat the pants off of Lee’s & Dee’s. So, I think we have our first upset of Bar-B-Quest 2011!

I am announcing this with the full knowledge that HotGirlsBrother and I will continue to go to Lee’s & Dee’s every chance we get. We love to eat there and it’s much closer. I hope L&D aren’t offended, but these bracket head-to-head competitions are tough sometimes. We will also continue to send people to L&D without abandon and listen to the subsequent stories about how people never expected the ribs at Lee’s & Dee’s to be as good as they are.

Kudos to you, C.G. Hooks BBQ. You are a true sleeper contender and I look forward to visiting you MUCH in the upcoming years. In fact, HotGirlsBrother and I are already figuring out free weekends to rent a pontoon boat across the street, buy a boatload of ribs (literally) and set sail on White Bear Lake with our closest carnivore friends. I am anxiously awaiting to see if C.G. Hooks can pull off even more upsets in the remainder of the Bar-B-Quest. We wish you the best of luck!

Signed HotGirlsBrother and Chao

Here is the new and updated bracket:

Mr. BBQ – Columbia Hieghts, MN (Bar-B-Quest 2011)

2011-12-16T12:59:00.007-06:00

With the end of the year approaching, HotGirlsBrother and I have resigned ourselves to the very real fact we cannot complete the Bar-B-Quest in the next two weeks. But we WILL continue BBQ ribs through next year to make sure we cover all of our bases and complete the task we started with.

Mr. BBQ was up on the list. I had a major c(gr)oupon in my possession for Mr. BBQ. They were on the Eastern Division bracket since I drove past their Maplewood location. Sadly, I realized the day HotGirlsBrother and I had scheduled that the coupon was only good at the Columbia Heights and Brooklyn Center locations. AGGGH. Oh well, we would pretend we were on the East Side of the Twin Cities just this once.

The place is bigger than I expected. It has a decent sized dining room with 10-12 tables and also a large patio (closed for the winter) outside, as well. When we walked into the place, it was smoky. As in, a considerable haze about 4 feet from the ceiling. I don’t think it was intentional, but it actually smelled delicious, so we didn’t complain or even comment on it. We have found it makes it cheaper if we split a full rack of ribs and then get our own sides, so we did that. Full slab of baby backs, baked beans, coleslaw, and extra order of fries, and it comes with a cornbread muffin. Done. The guy behind the counter was REALY sellin’ his food. REALLY. He told us the guys that work at Famous Dave’s come here to eat (NOT a ringing endorsement in our book, but whatever). People come for miles to eat their burgers when McDonald’s is right next door! (Again, not really going to win us over with that comparison, but we could see he was proud of his food.) The guy is quite the salesman.

The counter guy handed us our number so he could find us later. That’s right, WE’RE NUMBER ONE!!!! As we were walking away from the counter, a really large man in line behind us asked us if this was our first time here. We said yes. He told us, “You’ll be back.” Wow, people really like this place. We grabbed our various eating accoutrements and sat down. They have moist towelettes at the condiment station, which is always super nice. Reinforced plasticware, perfect for eating ribs, and bendy straws. Things were looking up.

I was a tad disappointed that A) they had Coke products and B) there was a severe lack of orange, grape, or strawberry pop to drink. But I can deal with that.

We waited a while for our food, but we had a lot to catch up on, so it wasn’t a major deal. The food showed up on a cafeteria tray – which is how all ribs should be served, I’ve decided. They did bring us individual Styrofoam plates for us to put food on, but the initial presentation is old school and I like it. We started with the coleslaw since ti was the only thing not piping hot. The coleslaw was actually quite good. Very creamy and bright like it was very fresh. It could have used a touch more vinegar in it, but it honestly was one of the better coleslaws we’ve had since we started this quest.

The baked beans were next. Holy crap. These were good. Really good. They tasted like meat, but didn’t have any meat in them. Smoky, without being fake-smoky. They had a thick sauce in them and were perfectly cooked. These were MUCH better than we expected. I’d go back just for the beans (if it wasn’t a 45 minute drive from my house). The cornbread was really quite moist – not the tiniest bit dry. But it was extra sweet and very cold – not a fan of those two things together.

The fries were pretty good. I say that knowing that anything you put Lawry’s seasoning salt on is going to be made better. We didn’t complain one bit, but I wouldn’t say these fries were anything special worth selling your children for.

The meat – that was why we do this thing. First off, the meat is saucy – not a dry rub. I know people like to know this up-front. The meat was very tough. Really tough. We had trouble cutting it with the knife we had and we sawed at it longer than we should have, and that was just to separate them so we could get them on our plates. We had to fight the meat off the bones a bit too, all the while dodging cartilage pieces. That being said, the sauce was quite good. Both the sauce that was cooked onto/into the ribs themselves, and also the stuff in the squirt bottles on the table. I think Mr. BBQ has the sauce nailed. So we slathered the heck out of the ribs and finished our meal. A bit disappointed with the rib experience, but the aftertaste of the sauce still was lingering.
I checked out the bathroom, which some people find amusing that I write about it, but deal with it. I’m glad I checked it out. It was in rough shape. There is no lock on the men’s room door and there’s a handwritten sign taped to it that says the lock doesn’t work and you should knock first. I did so. However, I’d be a bit cautious if there are children in the restaurant who may not be able to read the sign. That’s just me. Once inside, I was less than impressed. The toilet seat is stuck in some half-open arrangement that forces you to hunker down and recreate a scat film with Hasbro’s Mr. Mouth board game. Very weird experience.

As we left, the guy said to come again: We won’t. Then he said to tell all our friends: We are doing that…. here.

And to look at the Bar-B-Quest 2011 brackets to date, HotGirlsBrother and I noticed that Dickey’s BBQ Pit is a chain restaurant and we’re not doing that in this little quest. So we’re disqualifying them. Not because they’re bad – I haven’t tried their food – they might be good. But we can’t be comparing home town heroes to stores with over 200 locations around the country. So that moved Mr. BBQ to the next round, which was immediately destroyed by the awesomeness that is Big Daddy’s. Those guys are going to be tough to beat. (Click on the photo to enlarge it)

Top 5 things about Mr. BBQ
1. Baked beans
2. Coleslaw
3. BBQ sauce
4. Bendy straws, reinforced plasticware, moist towelettes at the condiment stand
5. Really friendly staff who are proud of their work

Bottom 5 things
1. Really tough ribs
2. Cold and painfully sweet cornbread
3. Really smoky inside
4. Bathroom was a wreck
5. Put Lawry’s seasoning on anything and it will be 39.4% better. That's just science.

Mr. BBQ
4621 Central Ave NE
Minneapolis, MN 55421

Surdyk’s Flights (in the MSP airport) – Bloomington, MM

2011-12-05T10:30:00.002-06:00

D.Rough sent me a txt a few months ago from the airport. She said she wanted to get a meat platter at Surdyk’s when she was at the airport. I had forgotten she mentioned that until I was actually AT the airport looking for a snack before my flight to Denver. Ding! Meat Platter! I wasn’t even sure what I was looking for. …I’m totally lying. I was looking for one of those giant meat platters they sell at the grocery store that has enough meat and cheese on it to stuff 50 rolls. I didn’t see such a thing in any of the refrigerated cases in the front of the storefront, so I assumed it was a menu item of some sort.

Someone had just gotten up to leave and I took the last seat in the small restaurant. The nice server brought me a menu of delicious sounding food. I kind of knew what I was supposed to order. I did, however, consider about 15 other things. But, alas, I went with what I came in there for. The Sulami platter. And I got the one with the three accompanying cheeses. I had no idea how large it was going to be or how long it would take. I was already pushing it with my boarding time, but meat comes first, I always say.

I got to watch the chefs make a whole host of entrees and sandwiches for people from my seat. I had the best view in the house. There was a guy whose job it was to only use the meat slicer. That guy is a men amongst men. You’d think it doesn’t take much, but he sliced and placed meat slices on everything imaginable with the finesse of an artist. Very fun to watch him work. I wasn’t even sure which plates he was making, until I saw the growing mound of meat that was going to be my platter. Y. E. S.

It actually took a bit longer than I Was expecting, so when the server brought it out, I asked her to bring around a to-go container when she had a chance. I was excited about this platter. It looked amazing. Not too much meat that I was going to go into a coma, but enough that I was going to be verrry verrrry happy. Which I was. I know the woman told me which cheeses she had brought me, but I don’t remember them. One was a blue, and the other two were something else. I should have written them down, but I didn’t. In fact, I didn’t write down the meats either, though I know one was a spicy capicola. The fruit they brought was fantastic – apricots and grapes – and the nuts were also delicious. It was a very well balanced meal in my opinion.

And since it took the server a while to get back with the to-go box and my check, I had almost eaten all of the food on the platter. I took what was left in the box and headed to the gate. Last one on the plane! Hooray. It’s becoming a habit for me, but I haven’t missed a flight yet (well, within the past 5 years, anyway). I took the Bit-O-Honey with me that comes with the restaurant check, and had a little snack before my in-flight snooze.

I was really impressed with the new location Surdyk’s has in the airport. It’s worth a stop if you’ve got the time. They are also a wine bar, so please feel free to fill up on (or bring with you) a bottle of some really quality wine. I wish I had, but I knew I was going to have to eat quickly. I know the meat platter started out as something I was going to eat as a joke in the airport before a flight, but I’ll probably going to get it each time I go to MSP in the future. Now, aside from Popeyes Chicken, I have a new restaurant I’ll look forward to eating at in a US airport. Thanks for the suggestion, D.Rough!

No top 5

www.surdyksflights.com

Sultan Mediterranean Restaurant – Rock Island, IL

2011-12-04T10:30:00.004-06:00

While I was back visiting the family in Illinois over Thanksgiving, my brother in law wanted to eat some food that wasn’t Applebee’s. My sister isn’t very adventurous when it comes to food, so I told him D.Rough and I would show him the good stuff. But we had to make sure the place we chose had something other people in my family could also eat. My niece had mentioned there was a new Mediterranean restaurant open in the area, so we thought we’d take them there. Worst case scenario, they get a plate of rice and complain about it for the next ten years. Hahahaha

The restaurant is located in a small strip mall in the Kmart parking lot, so it was easy to find for everyone. We rolled inside and found a set of tables we could combine to fit our family. There were other people eating inside, so that was a good sign. Sadly, my niece Frog, who recommended the place, couldn’t join us. But, DeliveryBoy and AmandaHugginkiss and their new twins were able to – bonus!!!! We looked at the menus given to us and eventually realized we had to go up and order at the counter – whoops. I was surprised a lot of the Mediterranean things D.Rough and I like to eat weren’t on the menu. We’re in training for our honeymoon, where we’ll be staying in Santorini, Greece, so we’re trying to eat as much Greek food as possible. No dolmades and no mousakka for us at this place. It’s ok, there were other things that sounded good. D.Rough got a gyro salad and I got the special for the day, Shevid Baghali Polo – basmati rice with dill, lima beans, and seasonings, topped with marinated chicken.
The food arrived in a reasonable amount of time, but since other family members’ food came out first, I helped myself to their plates (I always blame it on the blog writing, even though I’m just rude).
The red pepper hummus and the garlic hummus were pretty good. Much smoother than a lot of places I’ve had, so no complaints on that part. The falafel ball I ate was pretty good, although just a tiny bit dry for my taste. The tahini that came with it helped a lot, though.
The homemade fries were good, but I wasn’t in the mood for fries. They were a lot like my mother makes, so we knew we had to tell my dad so he could sneak away and eat thousands of fries without my mother’s knowledge. He’s sneaky like that. In fact, he’s from a long line of sneaky people (his diabetic brother tried to get me to sneak him cookies without letting my aunt find out).

D.Rough’s salad arrived and it looked pretty good, even if all of the lettuce was iceberg. There was plenty of meat and feta on it, so it passed as a Greek salad just fine. The flavor was good, according to her, and she ate almost all of it, so I know it wasn’t terrible. The balsamic tasted like it should have and there weren’t any surprises in the salad like some of the Quad City restaurants like to throw in to keep it “Midwestern”. She did knock it a point for using canned black olives, but aside from that, she enjoyed it.

My dish wasn’t at all what I expected, but I still enjoyed it. The rice was really quite flavorful and I loved the seasonings they used, even though they were pretty mild. I also love lima beans, so I’ve got that going for me. The chicken was cooked well and I was pretty happy with the amount of meat on the plate. The grilled veggie kabobs were a nice addition to the plate, both for color and flavor. I even sprinkled some of the magic dust the place has on the tables. I’m not sure what was in it, but it isn’t spicy – just unique. I’d use it again the next time I went, and I’d use a LOT of it – like I said, it’s pretty mild.

Overall, I thought it was a decent Mediterranean meal, especially for a Midwestern town. It isn’t fancy, but it’s good food and filling. I think everyone was happy with their meals, since I didn’t get any complaints. I’d eat here again if the family wanted to when I come home next time. I did, however, tell my brother in law that he can eat a guinea pig at two different restaurants when he comes up to visit us in Minneapolis. THAT’s incentive…

Top 5 things about Sultan
1. Shevid Baghali Polo
2. Gyro Salad
3. Hummus
4. Friendly staff
5. It wasn’t terrible expensive

Bottom 5 things
1. The fries get RAVED about in online reviews, but I thought they were just meh
2. One of the workers offended my niece by commenting on her children - yikes
3. Limited menu, and missing some standards
4. We didn’t get the baklava we ordered and then forgot about it and paid for it
5. The falafel was a bit dry

www.sultanmediterraneanqc.com

Yak and Yeti – Westminster, CO

2011-12-03T10:06:00.000-06:00

I was out in Denver for the 2011 Roller Derby World Championships, and some of the large group I was with went to Yak and Yeti the first night they arrived. I kept hearing the words “yak” and “yeti” and eventually figured out it was a restaurant. Not only was it a restaurant, but the people I was with kept talking about how delicious it was. Since I’m hairy beast, I tend to love things related to hairy beasts. I think both Yaks and Yetis fall into that category.

We headed over to the restaurant with multiple large groups of people. Probably not the best plan of attack for being seated quickly, but we were patient and eventually got a table in the last group of 6-person groups – yikes! It’s a buffet (and a large buffet), so we got up and started picking and choosing what we wanted. All of the vegetarian dishes were on one side of the bar and the rest of the food was scattered throughout. It all looked amazing to me.

On the first trip to the buffet, I got vegetable pakora, samosas, some chicken item, lamb curry, some curried vegetables, and basmati rice. No complaints on anything on this plate. It was absolutely delicious and filling.

I went back for more. Broccoli, some yam curry, more chicken, more pakora, and rice. They kept bringing baskets of naan to the table, so I got absolutely stuffed.

…But not stuffed enough that I couldn’t fit a bowl of Kheer down my gullet. I love this stuff. It’s basically condensed milk with long grain rice and sometimes cashews or raisins. Delicious stuff, although the texture tends to weird people out, for some reason. I can’t get enough of it.

In summary, a great Indian buffet and lots of helpful staff. We all were leaned waaaay back in our chairs after this meal and moving slowly. That’s how you know it’s a great Indian buffet!

www.theyakandyeti.com

Jack and Grill – Westminster (Denver), CO

2011-12-02T10:36:00.001-06:00

I have reviewed Jack and Grill before, but I noticed they had a new location built when I was out in Denver for the 2011 Roller Derby World Championships. I talked the people I was with into going there to get stuffed so we’d all sleep better – totally an excuse that does NOT work on this crowd. But I talked them into it anyway.

The inside is festive, brightly colored, and eclectic in its decoration. Lots of very friendly and helpful staff make sure you are taken care of quickly. I had great luck when I was at their original location a few years back, so I knew this would be good, as well.

The menu is enormous, so be ready for that. The last time I was at Jack and Grill, I attempted the 7 pound breakfast burrito. It was a fail, but I did make it about half way through it all. And it was delicious. That gave me hope that everything on the menu would be good. I wanted to try a few things, so I ended up getting the combination #2. One beef enchilada, one chicken enchilada, a bean tostada, beans and rice. That should do the trick!

They bring out chips and salsa that cost a dollar – just do it, people. The salsa is good, although it might be a bit on the spicy side for Minnesotan palettes. I thought it was just fine. I also had ordered a margarita – you know, to help me sleep (I’m still working that angle). It had Chambord in it, so it was like a black raspberry margarita. And it was verrrrry good.

The food came out quickly and we were all glad – we were starving from a long day of roller derby. Word of warning, the food here is enormous. Mrs. Novia tried to order ala carte since she’s not a big eater, and ended up getting way more than she expected. They’re very generous here.

The enchiladas were quite good. The red sauce is smoky and spicy without being heavy (the cheese takes care of that part). The bean tostada wasn’t anything special, but it’s made with fresh ingredients, so it just tastes better automatically. The beans and rice were also good and were helping stockpile sleep-time credits for later. I was slowing down exponentially. I knew pretty quickly that tonight wasn’t going to be a go-out-and-party-night. Sigh.

I already did a more thorough review the last time I was here, so I won’t overstate how good this place is. It’s like a better version of Chevy’s (atmosphere-wise), but with more authentic Mexican food.

Bender’s Bar & Grill – Westminster (Denver), CO

2011-12-01T10:26:00.000-06:00

Mr. Novia and I were in Denver for the 2011 Roller Derby World Championships and there was a bar near our hotel. We walked around the giant pond to find something to eat. Bender’s is built right into the Ice Arena (actually called “Ice”), and we were highly amused to see signs prohibiting skating gear in the restaurant. Hilarious.

We were excited to see we could sit along the windows of the restaurant and watch a hockey game being played on the ice below us. Now THAT’s entertainment. Mr. Novia and I now realized we were sitting in the hockey wife section and got to witness all the ladies smack talking on behalf of their significant others and doing shots. Hilarious.

I ordered a Strongbow and perused the menu. Lots of tasty sounding things were listed, but I decided on the burger with ham, salsa, and the most peppers – jalapenos and pepperjack cheese. Hard to go wrong with this one. I can’t remember if it was the volcano burger or Diablo burger or the hangover burger, but it’s one of those, I’m thinking. (I eat a lot of burgers like this and they’re all named something different – sometimes I mix them up in my crazy head) Our waitress asked if I wanted regular fries of curly fries. I said I didn’t even know they had curly fries and I ordered those.

The burger came out pretty quickly. It looked delicious. I was actually a little scared by the slice jalapeno sitting in front of me, but I rolled with it. I put as many of the slices as I could fit onto the burger and cut the thing in half so I could actually eat it. Good meaty flavor from the burger, a delicious salty sweetness from the ham, a hint of salsa flavor, good but mild pepperjack cheese flavor, and just a tiny bit of heat from the peppers. I really thought this thing was going to be painful to eat, but it was just alright. Not a stellar burger, but one I would probably order again if I found myself at Bender’s watching a hockey game again. The fries, on the other hand, were delicious. I didn’t want them to end, and there was a serious pile of them to be eaten.

Overall, just a good meal. Nothing groundbreaking, but nothing bad, either.

Top 5 things about Bender’s
1. Curly fries
2. Strongbow is always a plus
3. Got to watch a hockey game while we waited
4. Super nice staff
5. Hangover burger

Bottom 5 things
1. They were out of the Colorado beer Mr. Novia ordered
2. No hockey gear in the restaurant is an OUTRAGE! – Kidding, I don’t own any hockey gear
3. You can’t beat on the glass of the restaurant like you can the glass of the hockey rink
4. Mr. Novia’s meal wasn’t fantastic
5. The team where most of the ladies around us were cheering for lost. Mood dampener!

www.benderswestminster.com

Tandoor - Bloomington, MN

2011-11-30T10:57:00.000-06:00

It had been a while since I had had lunch with Trash, so when she decided we needed to go out for Indian food, I agreed. She suggested Tandoor, even though she didn’t know the name of it and had to describe where it was located – a hilarious exercise that I’m both used to and an expert player.

The inside is larger than I expected, and the buffet is spread across two buffet units. I could see there were lots of things that I was going to be eating today. I may not be able to remember the names of what I’m eating, but I can tell it was delicious by the smells. We grabbed our plates and started the feast.

They have excellent vegetarian pakora (deep fried chick pea battered vegetables), and something made with chick peas in a sauce. I should someday write down the names of these things, since I eat at Indian buffets often enough. Maybe I just like the adventure of thinking I’m eating something new and adventurous each time. Tandoor also has one of the most delicious dishes I’ve ever eaten. It was called the Chef’s Vegetarian Special or something like that. It is cabbage and tons of peas with black pepper – absolutely stellar! They also had small pita chip/naan chip things that were delicious. I’ve never seen these before, so I was glad I checked them out.

I had to go back for more. They had a vegetarian dish that looked like it had meatballs in it. Trash is a vegetarian so she was scared by it. I went for it. It turns out, it is a sort of dough or corn meal ball, almost like a dumpling. Also, it was delicious. I grabbed some naan, since I had forgotten the first trip and also some chicken something or other. And, of course, some more Chef’s Special. Everything was amazing.

Still hungry for more of this place. I got another helping of the Chef’s Special and more chick peas, along with a fun rice dish and more chicken. Alright, I give, I’m full.

...But since they had it, I had to get a couple of bowls of Kheer for myself. It’s perfectly acceptable to get two bowls of dessert, but only when there are two people sitting at your table. Then people think it’s for the other person – which it isn’t. hahahaha. Decent Kheer – no complaints from me (on either bowl hahahaha).

This is a great place for lunch and I really liked the dishes there, especially the ones I hadn’t seen before at any other restaurant. I’m looking forward to going back here. The people are very nice and the price is comparable to most other Indian buffets.

I won’t give a top 5 for this place, since I’ll just embarrass myself by not having any idea what the names of the dishes are. My apologies. I just like to eat it, not memorize the names. Sue me.

Los Jarritos – Moline, IL

2011-11-28T10:24:00.003-06:00

When I go back to my hometown to visit my family, I try to get people together in one place so I don’t have to run all over and see people all over town. I can see them all in one spot. I got a recommendation from my friend Rafael to go to this new Mexican restaurant in Moline called Los Jarritos. I called them ahead of time and warned them that approximately 25 people had RSVP’d and to make sure they could fit that many. Thankfully, they could.
It’s a very non-descript exterior, but it’s easy to find, since it appears to be one of the only things open on the block. There’s a small sign out front indicating the name of the place and also that it’s now open, so I knew we had found it. Inside, the walls are painted bright colors, the tablecloths are brightly colored and everything looks new and shiny. I found my group of people and grabbed a spot for D.Rough and I to sit.
I went through the menu to find something eat. They had much more than most Mexican places I’ve been to. Delicious sounding dishes – some traditional and some a little out of the box. They have tacos, burritos, and tostadas, but also Tortas (sandwiches) soups, and regional entrees. Even though I had a couple of dishes in mind when I got here, I changed my mind approximately 30 times while looking at the menu. I finally decided on Albondigas, which are meatballs in a sauce with a helping of rice, and served with your choice of corn or flour tortillas. I also ordered a cheese crisp, since this is something our area is known for.

We tried to order margaritas, but the restaurant’s liquor license hadn’t gone through yet, so we were apologetically told they didn’t have anything. They mentioned you could bring in your own if you wanted to. So a couple of guys immediately got up and walked a block or two to Bent River Brewery to get growlers of microbrew for themselves. Excellent idea until this place is allowed to serve drinks.

There are chips and salsa out on the table, and Los Jarritos gave a good showing of flavor and spice level for the meal starter. Not too spicy, but lots of flavor. I was a fan so far.
The cheese crisp arrived and D.Rough stole my first bite. I was distracted by a conversation and she wanted to check it out. She liked it a lot more than some others we’ve had in the Quad Cities. Once I got my first few bites, I agreed. It wasn’t as greasy and the homemade shells really made the difference. Great tasting and very simple dish. It’s melted cheese on a fried flour tortilla.
The Albondigas came out shortly after and I was surprised to see only two meatballs on the plate. In fact, D.Rough made a comment about it looking like they forgot the spaghetti on my plate. The sausage balls were sitting in a shallow pool of some red sauce that smelled delicious. I cut up the meatballs into smaller chunks and began building my tortilla with the rice, sauce, and meat. It was fantastic. The meat had tons of flavor and the sauce had already begun to sink into the balls. With the extra sauce on the tortilla, it was perfectly tasty and made me want more. I had ordered corn tortillas, and you could definitely taste the corn flavor, even among all the other strong flavors of the meat and sauce. I’ve had Albondigas soup before at another restaurant, so I’m definitely familiar with the Mexican meatballs, but this dish blew the soup out of the water – it was a fantastic dish and I’d highly recommend it. I didn’t think two meatballs would be enough, but they are large enough to be plenty of food to make three or four normal sized tortilla wraps without skimping.

The servers were absolutely fantastic with our group. I know groups this large can be quite unwieldy, especially for a brand new restaurant, but they handled us like a champ and were very personable and friendly with us. I thanked them afterwards for being so gracious and courteous. I also told them I would recommend them to as many people as possible – so that’s what I’m doing. Please go here – it’s very worth it.

Top 5 things about Los Jarritos
1. Albondigas
2. Cheese crisp
3. Wonderful staff
4. They have Dew!
5. Very comprehensive menu of delicious-sounding food

Bottom 5 things
1. No alcohol license as of Thanksgiving – but that will change (BYOB isn’t a bad idea, however)
2. Lots of spelling errors on the menu – they’re new so they’ll work the bugs out, I’m sure.
3. It isn’t well lit on the outside, so it almost doesn’t look open, but it IS
4. Nothing else bad to report
5.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Los-Jarritos-Comida-Mexicana

Madball Show at the Triple Rock Social Club – Minneapolis, MN

2011-11-24T10:55:00.001-06:00

This is a combination food and music review, just so you know what you’re in for. Also, this is from a few months back, I just finally got around to editing my notes and posting it. My apologies.

I’ve been a Madball fan since the early 90’s, which means they’ve been around approximately 20 years. That’s a long time in the world of hardcore music. It’s a REALLY long time in the world of tough-guy hardcore music. I won’t get into all the intricacies and sub-genres of hardcore, but suffice it to say, this band brings with it a track record of blood, fighting, punching, and kicking to its live shows. When I heard they were playing in Minneapolis at the Triple Rock, I was pretty sure I was going. When I realized it was oan Wednesday night that I didn’t have my MBA class, I knew for sure I was going. What’s the significance of Wednesday night, you ask? Well, Wednesdays are “Free Bacon Night” at the Triple Rock. Could this be the best day ever!!?!?!???!!?

After some timing discrepancies on when the show actually started (the tickets and one website said 4:30pm, another website and Facebook said 7:00pm). I got it all straightened out and headed over. There weren’t a lot of people when I got there and they hadn’t started the show (likely for that reason). I grabbed a Strongbow from the concert-area bar and just stood there like a dummy. Free bacon didn’t start until 9pm, so I had some time to kill.

The first band went on, “Big Bang Fury”, and were decent. The lyrics were a little Dr. Suess – literally “There’s a Wocket in my Pocket” – and the band really didn’t move at all, but I have heard way worse. I probably won’t pick up their CD, but I’d stand through them again. At the time, there were maybe 30 people there at the show, including what appeared to be relatives of the band members and such. Hilarious. (And yes, I’ve been there, so I know what that’s like).

After they finished up, I decided to hit up the real bar and peruse the menu. I also grabbed another Strongbow while I was waiting to decide on something. The menu here at the Triple Rock always impresses me. I somehow forget that this place has MUCH better than average food and also cater to vegetarians where possible. One of the things I always seem to get is the Poutine. For those that don’t’ know, I’m huge Poutine fan – it’s French fries covered in cheese curds and gravy – that’s hard to pass up even if you’re not from Canada, where the dish was invented. I decided to try something new and got the BBQ Cajun Chicken Po Boy. And a Jack Daniels – neat.

People watching at the Triple Rock I always fun, so there’s never a lack of entertainment when you’re waiting for food. Also, they have fun things hanging on the walls in the bar area. For example, this memorial photo of Ronnie James Dio (RIP), and also a dolla dn photo of Billy Dee Williams (Lando Calrisian from Star Wars).
9 o’clock rolled around and I saw the first of the bacon baskets rolling out. The bartender brought me over a basket along with some popcorn – I hadn’t seen that here before. So the skinny on the free appetizers is this: the bacon is baked partially and then finished in the deep fryer, so it’s amazingly awesome. The popcorn is then cooked in the bacon grease, so it is almost as delicious as the bacon itself. I was REALLY glad I came to the show tonight.

The Po Boy came out right after I got the popcorn and bacon, so that worked out really well for me. This Po Boy is one of the better ones I’ve had. It had a few onions in it, but the chicken was delicious. Seasoned with Cajun seasoning and with delicious BBQ flavor and with potatoes and pepperjack cheese, this sandwich was a force to be reckoned with. Sooooo good. The bun seemed tiny when compared with the insides of the thing, but even the bun had some butter on it and was toasted nicely. Top notch sandwich that I would recommend highly.
I knew I had missed at least one band, but was bummed to find out I actually missed the other two bands. So when I went into the show, they were setting up Madball’s stuff on stage and there were considerably more people there. I was still surprised this place wasn’t more full of fans, but maybe they’re not the big deal they used to be (in some people’s eyes). It didn’t matter, the people that were there were there because they love Madball, or because they’re old guys like me and loved them back when we were all kids.

The show started and things got very aggressive very fast. Not much of an intro – just straight into the songs. They played a lot of old stuff (they do have a ton of albums to choose from, so that’s not difficult), but they also played some stuff off their 2010 release “Empire”. These guys played REALLY straight forward, almost simple, tough-guy hardcore. IT isn’t meant to be impressive. It’s meant to get you feeling aggressive and want to punch people. I’m NOT kidding. It is very drum driven and the guitar and bass are secondary. The lyrics are generally about brotherhood and fighting for your boys and keeping your word. A lot of people don’t get this and just see the violence (which is pretty easy to spot, since people are punching, spin-kicking, and just running into crowds of people and punching wildly), but music was originally meat to evoke feelings and this follows that line of thought at its most core and basic sense.

I didn’t see any blood on the floor and the crowd seemed more subdued than previous crowds I’ve seen. But everyone seemed to know the words, even to the new songs which is always nice. The guys in the band still get the crowd going. Freddy, the singer has filled out, but isn’t fat. He’s just no longer a scrawny scrappy kid covered in tattoos. He’s done some jail time and has clearly been working out. He seems to have mellowed his stage presence over the years in that he was actually nice to the crowd and appreciative people were there, even if they weren’t on the floor punching the hell out of each other. Frankly, that was nice to hear him say. There were still kids jumping onto the stage to sing along, and jumping off the stage to take out as many people as they could, so that was as it should be and a welcome comfort.
This was one of the tightest shows I’ve seen them play. They’ve been doing this a long time, so you’d think they’d be tight, but this style of music, anything goes. The louder and harder, the better. The music is secondary to the message and emotion. You don’t have to play flawlessly to bring out the tough-guy in everyone in the crowd. That’s what you can always count on from these guys.

For my friends that missed the show, even though I had free tickets for them, you missed a fantastic show. I however, was filled with bacon and testosterone and will be listening to nothing but tough-guy music for the next couple of weeks. I don’t mind reliving my youth and being pissed off for a time. If you don’t understand what I’m talking about when I say tough-guy hardcore, see if you can find some youtube videos by these bands. Then you’ll understand better:

Madball
NJ Bloodline
Clubber Lang
I.R.A.T.E.
Knuckle Dust
xDeathstarx
Sick Of It All
District 9
Judge
On a Warpath
Die…My Demon
Born From Pain
Cast Aside
Cataract
Disrespect
Betrayal

Fish & Chips Soul Food Heaven – St. Paul, MN

2011-11-23T10:42:00.000-06:00

EnyaFace! and I like to grab delicious food from time to time and on our way back from the Rice Street Deli, I drove past this place called the Frogtown Deli. I mentioned we should eat there and we finally managed to coordinate our schedules enough to both make it. When I showed up, it no longer said Frogtown Deli, and the sign on the window said it was now the Fish & Chips Soul Food Heaven. No worries there. I was going to eat whatever was inside.

I went inside to have a minute to check out the menu. They have a printed menu and also a menu over the counter. Look at both, just to be on the safe side, because the menu over the counter has better descriptions of what things are. Oddly enough, it had some similar items to Rice Street Deli on it. In fact, it had Gangsta Burgers and Gangsta Fries on it. Wait, did Rice Street Deli change locations? I’ll have to get to the bottom of this. The inside is sparsely furnished with a couple of booths and a couple of tables. And the walls had crazy tropical murals painted on them like it used to be a Mexican restaurant or something…. But I’ll get to that.

Also, one of the guys coming out of the restaurant told me they deliver, so definitely keep that in mind. Here’s the menu, since there isn’t going to be one online for some time.

I finally decided what I wanted just in time for EnyaFace! to show up. I got a Philly Cheesesteak sandwich and EnyaFace! got some fried chicken. I also thought we should share a SMALL order of Gangsta Fries. (We tried the large order before and barely made a dent between the both of us.) And I scored an Orange Fanta, since I’m a fan.

And yes, it does say maximum occupancy is TWELVE. Awesome.

The food you order gets shouted out from the counter and you go get it. I got my sandwich first, and it looked delicious. Really really really delicious. It comes with fries (which I hadn’t realized, so I guess I’ll have double fries. I had to go up to the counter to get ketchup on them (the guy squirted it on my fries for me – I only knew he would do that because I overheard another customer getting the same thing done), but it isn’t a big deal. He was generous with the ketchup, so no complaints. I had to wait for EnyaFace!’s food to come out before I started in on mine.

I went up and got the Gansta Fries next. If you haven’t heard me rave about Gangsta Fries, then you haven’t hung out with me very much. I talk about them a lot. They’re fries, covered in gyro meat and then covered with tzatziki sauce. You can also get a bunch of other ingredients on top – which I did: peppers, lettuce, tomatoes, banana peppers, etc. So I picked up the Styrofoam container that came in and waited for the fried chicken to get finished. It wasn’t that long, I promise you.

We got all of our food and dug in. The Gangsta Fries are as good as I remember. Slathered in cucumber sauce, they start crispy and then get soggy towards the end, just like I like. The gyro meat is delicious and the other toppings give it some zing. These are some of my favorite fries (that aren’t poutine, of course). Again, stick with a small order unless you’re feeing a family of you’ve got 20 people over for football or something.

The Philly Cheesesteak was delicious as well. Great flavor in the meat and the green peppers weren’t overpowering. (I also ordered it without onions, to save my guts for certain doom, so keep that in mind.) The cheese they put on there was tasty and there was just a small amount of mayo on the top, so I was happy to see the focus was on the meat (twss). Really a delicious sandwich. It isn’t going to compete with one from Philly, but it certainly hit the spot for me.

EnyaFace! gave me one of her fried chicken wings and I was surprised they were as good as they were. They didn’t look flaky like KFC, but they had great flavor and weren’t greasy. There was a decent amount of meat on them, which is sometimes not the case at other places with wings. But again, the flavor was great, so no complaints. I’m not sure if 6 of them would fill me up though. I’d probably have to go with 12 if I was going to order this.

As we were finishing up our meal, the owner walked in and asked how everything was. And I’m almost positive it is the guy from the Rice Street Deli. I should have asked, but I was in a food coma. The owner said he had just bought the place two weeks ago and changed the name. In fact, he was going to close for a few days and totally renovate the place. Actually, there were guys there all of a sudden with buckets of paint and moving furniture so they could paint the interior walls. “Oh. You mean NOW.” He said he was going to put in some flat screens and spice it up a little bit and make it more inviting. The owner is a super nice guy and again, I’m pretty sure it’s the guy that let me take pictures of my first Gangsta Burger a couple of years back, over at the Rice Street Deli. Very good guy and proud of his work – he should be, it’s top-notch.

I’m hoping he’s open again now and I can’t wait to see the inside of the place. The food is delicious and not expensive and it’s a pretty low-key operation. If you’re in that neck of the woods, go grab some food to go. Or apparently, they deliver. Sadly, I’m positive I’m out of the delivery zone, but I can always come harass EnyaFace! and bring her chicken. I’m sure she won’t complain.

Top 5 things about Fish & Chips Soul Food Heaven
1. Gangsta Fries
2. Philly Cheese steak
3. Fried Chicken
4. Really nice owner and staff
5. They deliver AND they’re open until 11pm weekdays and midnight on weekends!!!

Bottom 5 things
1. It isn’t fancy – this isn’t a downside, but I like to warn people who are more high-falutin’ than I am
2. I have no idea what the interior will look like, since they were painting when we left
3. They ran out of forks while we were there, so we had to spoon everything hahaha
4. Really, there’s nothing bad about this place, I’m gasping for straws (which they also did not have hahaha)
5. Quit reading. I’m done. There aren’t any more bad things!!

Chicken & Fish Soul Food Heaven
444 West Maryland Avenue N.
St. Paul, MN 55107

Donut Cooperative – Minneapolis, MN

2011-11-21T16:03:00.005-06:00

I had heard rumblings about this new donut shop opening up in the Seward area of Minneapolis. In fact, I had even “liked” their facebook page in hopes of finding out when they would open and maybe a menu or something handy like that. So when E-Jens messaged me about going here on a Saturday morning, I was in, for sure. …That was, until I read a post about them only having cake donuts. That didn’t bode well. I have a moral objection to cake donuts. If you haven’t heard me rant about it on this blog before, here’s the premise: If I wanted cake, I’d eat cake. I don’t want cake, I want donuts.

I message EJens back threatening him with all kinds of unkind words in this review and gave him the opportunity to reschedule once they started to make raised (aka REAL) donuts sometime in the future (for the record, raised donuts take longer to make and with the volume of people The Donut Cooperative have been seeing since they opened, they didn’t have time for people to be standing around waiting for raised donuts – that’s the reason. Fair enough.) EJens said we were still on. I also found out Captain MacGillis would be joining us – that means I couldn’t back out.

As I drove to The Donut Cooperative that morning to meet those guys, it started raining tiny ice pellets that were borderline snowflakes. No worries. Except when we got inside the place, all the tables were full and the only thing open was the picnic table outside. Hahahahaha. Seriously. It’s Minnesota – that’s what we do. We pretend it’s very European. Seeing the line grow and shrink, Captain MacGillis and I decided just to order and Let EJens fend for himself. I looked in the case for the donuts and only saw one tray of donuts. Weird. I looked in the other cases. There were caramel apples, cookies, pepperoni sammiches, and vegan sammiches (their own vegan Banh Mi), but I wasn’t in the mood for a sandwich. It was donut time. I asked if they had any other donuts. The super nice ladies told us they only had this one tray of donuts. They were cake donuts with lingonberry filling in the middle of it. Sure that sounded delicious, but I thought they’d have crazy things, like Pez-Jalapeno glazed donuts and pickle-onion donuts. These seemed tame to me. But I was there, so I thought I’d better at least try it so I’d have something to write about. I also noticed in one of the other cases there was something called Donut Bread Pudding.I’m a fair weather fan of bread pudding, so the addition of a donut could only make things better. The server said it was warm, and it made it better. I was feeling saucy (which the server cracked up used that term) and got a slice of that as well. I got a chai tea to wash it all down. They put the things on small plates and Captain MacGillis and I headed out to the picnic table to wait for EJens. Fortunately, he showed up right then and headed inside to order.

Here’s what my goodies looked like. See? Not bad, eh?

I started with the Donut Bread Pudding since I didn’t want it to get cold. I’ll also mention that it had started snowing/sleeting harder at this point, but we all chose not to acknowledge it and just powered through like it was 80 and sunny. The Donut Bread Pudding was cut into slices like slices of bread or coffee cake. It was very moist and sticky, but I didn’t have a fork, so I just went at it with my fingers. I can’t explain how awesome this was. It was like a cross between cinnamon bread and donuts and unicorn sprinkles. So amazingly delicious. I made EJens and Captain MacGillis grab chunks of it to try and they appeared to like it almost as much as I did. It is one of the best sweet desserts I’ve had in a long time and I’d go back to this place simply for the donut bread pudding, at this point.

I also noticed that EJens had some other kind of donut that I didn’t see inside on his plate. Apparently, they had brought out a tray of honey glazed donuts right after we had walked outside. Looked good, but I didn’t swipe a bite of it, even though it would have been for journalistic purposes only. Next time.

I sipped some of the chai tea I had gotten and I remembered I’m not a fan of chai tea. I’m a fan of chai tea lattes. I’m a moron. So I sulked and sipped on it, even though I wasn’t thrilled at all. Totally my fault though. It will not be reflected upon in the review, I promise.

The Lingberry filled donut was much better than I had anticipated. I really expected to blow up and begin my usual rant about cake vs. raised donuts like I usually do, but this donut was fried crispy. Something I’ve never seen before. I’m not sure if it was intentional or not, but I quite liked it. It wasn’t soft and moist like mini donuts at the fair. It was hard and crunch on the outside and soft and moist on the inside – almost like a hush puppy or something. Quite a good donut after all, and with the lingonberry jam in the middle, it was even better. Some sugary stuff helped this thing taste even better.

At this point, it’s snowing pretty solid and the wind had picked up. We had acquired another person who couldn’t find room on the inside of the place, so we told him he could sit with us – though we couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t be offended by all of our ridiculous discussion. He was in town for a few months on work – apparently his work hates him and sends him up here (from Arizona) at the exact time it decides to blizzard. Welcome to Minnesota, friend. We assured him it wasn’t always like this and the snow piles occasionally get below twenty feet. I think we scared him ust fine:)

I know this place is new and they’re going to be working through some bugs for a while. I get it, I promise you I do. I’m very willing to cut them some slack, especially with the amazing publicity they’ve gotten and excitement over having a super fun donut place in the Twin Cities (FINALLY and THANK YOU!!!!!). But I sort of expected to see a guy using a shovel to scoop delicious donuts into cases from an infinite pile of donuts being tended by chained up rogue Keebler elves (I have really messed up dreams, can you tell?). I didn’t expect to see 12 donuts come out at a time on a tray and there only being one variety (which is the exact opposite of variety). After all, the word “Donut” is in the name of the restaurant. It should be first and foremost about donuts, not sandwiches, nor cookies, nor caramel apples – MAYBE about coffee and chai, since they kind of go hand in hand. If I went to International House of Pancakes (which I would never do) and they ran out of Pancakes, I’d probably flip my lid. But as I said, I’m VERY willing to cut these people some slack, especially based on the quality of what I was able to get this lovely Saturday morning. I know it sounds like a rant, but it truly isn’t. Just wait, when these guys get in their groove and start making raised donuts and have their cases full or horrific combinations of fun-itude, you will see all kinds of write up about this place. It will be well-deserved too. In fact, I’m looking forward to it. I can’t wait!!

Bottom line is, I’m still going to stand by the fact that raised donuts are exponentially better than cake donuts. And if the Donut cooperative can make raised donuts as well as they make cake donuts, I’ll consider relocating to the Seward neighborhood. As it stands now, you need to get there shortly after they open to get the best variety of options. I’ve heard of some awesome combinations they’re selling there and I’m pretty sure the facebook page they have set up usually gives some of the options for the day. They change recipes and themes every day, so you may not get the same thing twice when you go there. But I have a feeling you’re always going to be happy when you leave. Even if it’s snowing ice pellets and you slide for 75% of the hour-long drive home that usually takes 10 minutes. Still worth it.

To p5 things about The Donut Cooperative
1. Donut Bread Pudding
2. Lingonberry filled cake donut
3. Super friendly staff
4. Plenty of on street parking
5. Very adventurous with their donut flavor combinations

Bottom 5 things
1. They were out of almost all of their donuts
2. I understand you have to get there REALLY early to get the maximum selection
3. It is VERY busy here, though there is a lot of inside seating
4. The way the line flows in the ordering process; it’s hard to decide what you want until you’re standing at the register
5. I can’t wait for them to have raised donuts!!!!

www.thedonutcooperative.com

Big Daddy’s – St. Paul, MN (Bar-B-Quest 2011)

2011-11-08T11:05:00.002-06:00

HotGirlsBrother had to utilize a coupon he had purchased for Big Daddy’s and he invited me along so we could knock out another BBQ place from our large list on the Bar-B-Quest 2011. We have both been to Big Daddy’s before and it’s always delicious. Seriously, one of the most consistent places for rib (and sides) quality in the area. Plus, the people that work there are really fun and upbeat and friendly.

Here’s some history of Big Daddy’s. When I moved up to the Twin Cities, Big Daddy’s was actually called Big Daddy’s Saturday Barbeque. It was seriously only open on Saturdays. There was always a line out the door and you had to take it someplace else to eat it – we preferred local parks and a picnic atmosphere. Big Daddy’s added another day to the sign (Friday) and then, due to the building they were in being sold and redeveloped, they moved across the street and reopened a smaller location… but then added another day (Sunday). So needless to say, they dropped the “Saturday BBQ” part of their name and just went with Big Daddy’s. Now they’re open for lunch on Wednesday and Thursdays as well. You can tell people absolutely love this place, which is why they’re doing REALLY good business. That should tell you something, Twin Cities – GO HERE!!!!

HotGirlsBrother and I rolled in and said hello to the officer working the place (it’s not the greatest part of town, so they actually have an on-site police officer – he probably works for free since it smells so delicious in there and the people are so awesome). We always tend to get the same thing on this Bar-B-Quest, so we walked up to the counter and ordered a full slab of ribs for us to split. I got a side of baked beans and HotGirlsBrother got a side of coleslaw. They ask whether you want spicy or mild BBQ sauce with it: we both wanted spicy. They ask if you want white or wheat bread: we both wanted white. HotGirlsBrother got a Diet Coke (you gotta watch your figure when you’re on a Rib Quest) and I got a strawberry Fanta.

The nice thing about the new Big Daddy’s location (aside from it being bright, happy, and clean), is that you can sit along the walls and eat inside. There are bar stools and a small counter for you to put your food. They also have plates and silverware for you to use if you’re eating inside. Great move, Big Daddy!

We grabbed our goods and sat down to feast.

I started with the baked beans since the ribs were too hot to handle right away. They were very smoky without tasting like liquid smoke. I’m not sure what they put in them, but they’re delicious. Very flavorful. HotGirlsBrother said the coleslaw was top notch, and with a pinch of salt, would be near perfect. We swapped sides for a bit to try each others, and we both concurred: amazing sides.

We dug into the ribs. The amount of meat on these ribs is insane. I don’t know who their supplier is, but he needs a big ole high-five. Sooo much meat on each bone – more than any other place we’ve been on this rib adventure. You can pull the meat right off the bone without trying, that’s how tender these things are. The meat isn’t sloppy nor greasy, it just comes off the bone so you can chew it. The meat has a nice char on the top, so you get to work a little bit to break it down, but it’s exactly how ribs are supposed to be. Very little gristle and cartilage and the funny thing is that even when you DO find some, you don’t mind gnawing on it a bit to make sure you’ve gotten all the meat and flavor off of the bones. You’ll be surprised how clean you’ll lick these bones (twss). The extra sauce they give you is the perfect accompaniment to the meat and isn’t too spicy – just about right.

The bread is simply bread in a zip loc bag. Nothing fancy. But it’s really soft, so you can almost use it like a napkin to clean your hands off or use it to sop up sauce that you dripped all over your face. It’s a simple but effective side.

We were sooo stuffed after all this meat, but we were 100% happy with this meal. As usual, one of the best tasting BBQ meals I’ve had. I look forward to going back here again and again. Whoever goes up against Big Daddy’s in the Eastern Division bracket is going to have its work cut out for it.

Top 5 things about Big Daddy’s
1. Baby back pork ribs
2. Baked beans
3. Cole slaw
4. Super friendly awesome staff
5. Their slogan is “The giants of Outdoor Cooking” – they don’t mess around
6. Best funk music EVER playing over the speakers
7. If you can find their pumpkin creamcheese swirl cake, GET IT!

Bottom 5 things
1. There’s no downside. At all. “I ain’t lyin’” -Dolemite
2. N/A
3. N/A
4. N/A
5. N/A

www.bigdaddysbbq-stpaul.com

Donut Star – Burnsville, MN

2011-11-07T09:42:00.003-06:00

It was another disc golf Saturday morning and, fortunately for me, there was a donut shop about three blocks from the course I was going to play with the guys. Donut Star is right on Cliff Road near Red Oak Disc Golf Course, so it would almost be rude if I didn’t stop there and check them out. I hate to be rude.
The inside has quite a bit of seating room and the glass case at the counter was filled with donuts. The super helpful and friendly man behind the counter was chatty and liked that I said I was doing “fantastic” this early in the morning. He was also doing fantastic.

I didn’t really have anything in mind when I walked in the door, but the first thing I saw in the case was a maple frosted long john with a strip of bacon on the top. SOLD! I also (because I bought Bobafred and apple fritter the previous week) thought I was in the mood for an apple fritter. It looked pretty large, so I had a feeling I was going to be full before this round of disc golf. I grabbed a chocolate milk and headed out to the car.
I started with the apple fritter, mainly because I wanted to casually eat a bacon covered donut in front of the guys like it’s something I do all the time (it isn’t). It’s definitely a conversation starter. The fritter was quite large, as I said, but was perfectly cooked. Hard and crunchy on the outside and soft and moist on the inside. Pieces of apple appeared here and there and added some sweetness ad texture to the fritter. I’m becoming a bigger and bigger fan of these apple fritter. I used to think they were old people donuts, since those are the only people I ever saw eating them. They’re delicious though.

The bacon covered long john was quite good. The bacon was thick-cut and cooked perfectly for a donut (I like my donut-bacon more crispy than I like my solo-bacon), and covered the entire length of the donut. The maple glaze wasn’t too sweet, like it sometimes is, so it was just about the perfect donut. I think if it had been warm, it may have been the perfect donut. It was quite filling and the guys were horrified by the idea of a piece of bacon on the donut. Mission accomplished.

Donut Star may have some extra points for the bacon-inclusion. They’re a standard donut shop with friendly people and a modest variety of donuts. Nothing wrong at all with this place. I’m looking forward to playing at Red Oak Disc Golf Course in Burnsville soon (even though I played like garbage this round).

Joy's Pattaya Thai - Richfield, MN

2011-10-30T10:56:00.001-05:00

I was nearby in Richfield for an afternoon meeting, so I decided to stop by Joy’s. I’m pretty sure I’d been to this building before when it was another Thai place – the Kalico Elephant, or something. I had also been here before with EnyaFace! and Trash and M.Giant, I believe. My memory is a little fuzzy on this place. I remembered liking it, though, and that’s all that mattered.

I dropped in. I already knew I was hungry for fresh spring rolls, so I ordered those, also got an order of Pad Kee Mow (Drunken noodles). The service here is pretty quick, but it also might have helped that it was raining and it wasn’t terribly busy inside. It doesn’t matter, the food was fast.

The really nice waitress brought out my spring rolls and I smiled at how they were presented. Like little towers with trees in them. Very classy. Also delicious. The sauce that was with it was the sweet and tangy thin sauce that you find at many Thai places. It is delicious and I never know what it is. But I’m always happy when they cover the top with a layer of crumbled peanuts. This combo is brilliant and I think that Joy does a great job with it. The cilantro trees are a little difficult to eat, so you kind of have to work around that, but once you do, the rolls are fresh and tasty. Excellent start to my meal.

The Pad Kee Mow showed up right as I finished my appetizer and looked delicious. Great color and aroma. It also comes with an fried egg roll, so I started with that. It came with a different sauce that I thought was quite good. This one, more of a sweet and sour chili sauce with some carrot shavings thrown in. The egg roll was clearly fried, but didn’t feel greasy or heavy. It was light and filled with fresh ingredients. So far, spring rolls and egg rolls were hitting the spot. The entrée was no different. Great flavor with just the right amount of kick to it. The chicken was really tender and tasted like chicken. Not a single piece of gristle or fat, so I was thrilled. The noodles were cooked well, but not floppy or slimy. The tomato flavor came through, as did the bell pepper and basil. I know this is made with egg, but I think it’s just a thickening agent, since you really can’t taste the egg in it. I think this is a fantastic meal and I’m a big fan of Joy’s. I hope to have more meetings over in this neck of the woods in the near future. It’s worth a trip, in my opinion.

Top 5 things about Joy’s Pattaya Thai
1. Pad Kee Mow
2. Fresh Spring Rolls
3. Quick service
4. Really friendly wait staff
5. The lunch menu has a ton of things on it, so you don’t even get a restricted list! The dinner menu is enormous!

Bottom 5 things
1. Be aware, if there’s one pepper next to your menu item – you’re already at medium spice. Order accordingly.
2. There is construction right now, limiting parking and getting anywhere near the restaurant.
3. I really want to go back and try a ton of things I didn’t get to (I know this isn’t a bad thing)
4. It’s a small place, so if you’re there during the lunch rush, you may have to wait. Please do.
5. I’m bummed I didn’t try the Pad Macaroni Chicken!

www.joyspattayathai.com

Bourbon St. Distillery - Indianapolis, IN

2011-10-29T10:45:00.000-05:00

Quick review – While I was in Indianapolis for the North Central Regional Roller Derby Championships, I met up with some friends at Bourbon St. Distillery. R2, Fluzzi, Garrison, Skully, and I needed some sustenance to help us power through the evening. Plus, the Distillery is right behind the hotel where all the skaters were staying, so it wasn’t out of the way or anything. For being downtown, it’s a very neighborhood bar kind-of-feel: relaxed and fun. We sat on the upstairs patio overlooking the streets of Indianapolis.

After a quick scan of the menu, I went with an old stand-by that I hadn’t had in a while anywhere. Nachos. Boring, yes, but something I know I can eat that will make me full and tired enough to pass out in an unfamiliar bed (my hotel bed, not anything shifty, I assure you). We had a really fun waiter who mocked us appropriately for our drink order (mainly mine, since I order girly drinks), and he kept our drinks full.

The food came pretty quickly as we chatted the night away. The Nachos were pretty substantial. A serious heap of chips, cheese, meat, tomatoes, beans, sour cream, and jalapenos – lots of jalapenos.

The dish was delicious and filling. I was a little bummed to see they hadn’t multi-layered the chips and cheese. That’s where you do a half stack and then cover that with ingredients and cheese and then another stack of chips and ingredients on top of that. This ensures sufficient chip coverage even as you work your way towards the bottom of the pile of chips. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but I did end up eating the last layer of chips without much in the way of toppings. I should have asked for some salsa to dip things into, but I didn’t. The jalapenos and tomatoes were fresh though, so I didn’t feel like I was eating a big slop pile. It was just a pile. Hahaha. I loved it. Make fun of me all you want for eating nachos at a random bar. I’ll make fun of you equally for eating the same menu item at the same restaurant you always go to. I’m not bothered.

I liked Bourbon St. Distillery. It had a good feel, good servers, and good food. What else do you want?

No top 5 for this review.

www.bourbonstreetdistillery.com

Teppenyaki Grill (Supreme Buffet) - Minneapolis, MN

2011-10-28T10:48:00.000-05:00

EJens had a coupon for Minnesota’s largest buffet – Teppenyaki Grill and Supreme Buffet - so he graciously invited me to come along for the experience. I initially showed up at the wrong buffet on Lake Street – the absolute other end of Lake Street, in fact – and had to phone him to figure out where he was hiding. Turns out, he was hiding at the proper restaurant and I was so excited that I had gone to the wrong place. Teppenyaki Grill is located in a strip mall complex surrounded by a liquor store and a grocery store a handful of other smaller mom and pop shops. The building housing this restaurant looked pretty substantial.

EJens and I strolled into the place and were amazed at how large it was. You walk into what amounts to the buffet area – there are 10 separate buffet stations in the middle, and then there’s a sushi bar in the back, along with a separate Mongolian grill area. This place is enormous and I would guess it could possibly be the largest buffet in Minnesota, as they have advertised. There are at least three separate huge dining rooms all filled with people. This place does a lot of business. I was stunned, amused, and horrified when I walked in and saw two different demographics of people represented here: Really large people leaning back in their booths like they had just consumed 15,000 calories and were about to die, and then a noticeable ton of old, dirty, creepy white guys with their younger, prettier, and skittish Asian wives. The kind of people I used to get smacked for saying “mail-order bride” too loudly near, when hanging out with easily embarrassed people. Yes, there were other demographics represented: Hispanics, metal guys, first dates, motorcycle guys with no sleeves, and of course, now two innocent and doe-eyed white chaps (that would be EJens and I).

EJens had a plan for this place – one plate for every buffet station. This was his strategy for eating every one of the (claimed) 250 items this place had to offer. My strategy was much more customized: eat small amounts of everything I could recognize and be willing to put into my body. As it turns out, there was a surprising amount of American food on the buffet. I assumed it would be Chinese food as far as the eye can see, but it was a ton of traditional American food.

I won’t be able to go into detail about every item I ate, but I’ll give it a decent shot, just so you know. There will be some highlights and some lo-lights included.

The black pepper chicken turned out to be surprisingly good - I was off to a good start. The Teppenyaki Chicken was mostly good, a bit of gristle in this and some fatty stuff. Beef and broccoli ended up being a little slimy, so NOT good. I had opted for some sushi from the sushi bar. The California roll was a bit mushy, but edible. The spicy tuna roll was actually good. Some random unnamed tempura-ed roll had a really sweet goo on it, but was overall good. The lo mein was extremely sub-par and the fried rice was incredibly onion-y.

It was clear after plate number one the caliber of food we were dealing with. It wasn’t good, I’m unsure how long some things had been sitting there, and I’m already wondering how these giant people in the booth across from ours look like they ate enough to feed the entire country of Zambia by themselves. Nothing to do but power through.

The pepperoni pizza was some of the worst I've ever had. The kielbasa was awful and very smoky. The sweet corn was somehow clear and flavorless. The baked potato was covered in onions and unidentifiable cheese and was floppy and flavorless. The mac and cheese was flavorless but actually looked really good. The Hong Kong chicken was decent: some sort of sweet and sour flavor on it. The roasted chicken pieces were very gristly, and had a lot of skin (I hope) on them, but had good flavor.

EJens commented that he wished he had a map, so he could A) figure out a better strategy for food priority and order, B) check things off the list to ensure he had eaten everything, and C) use a treasure map in a restaurant. EJens should be commended for eating at least one more plate than I did. I began to slow down when my body realized it was being filled with sub-State-Fair-caliber food-like substances.

The egg roll had no cinnamon flavor in it, which I thought would be good, but it had been sitting too long and was soft and flavorless. The fried spring roll was almost clear from the amount of frying that had occurred and it was also extremely cabbage-y. The cream cheese puff was also clear and there wasn't enough cream cheese, but it was edible. The steak and cheese stromboli was NOT good. The chicken nugget was bad even for a chicken nugget. Oddly, the pig in a blanket was delicious. Also, the buffalo wing was delicious.

I went to the mongolian grill area and fixed up a plate for myself. I also forgot to take a photo of this particular plate - sorry. There aren't a lot of toppings and ingredients to add, and there's no sauce for you to put on to lubricate the stuff while it's on the grill, so you get whatever watered down soy sauce the cook squirts on your food while he's cooking it. The food from the grill wasn't bad, though it did taste a bit burnt (flavor from the grill, I'm sure).

This is an octopus that EJens tried to eat, but couldn't power through more than a tentacle or two. At least it wasn't moving. Also: gross.

The donut was flavorless but was covered in sugar, so that helped. The sparerib (yes, I threw a sparerib on a plate of fruit, jello, and pudding) was extremely gristly. The honeydew, which I am a huge fan of normally, tasted and chewed JUST like a carrot, uggh. Ding ding ding: the canteloupe was surprisingly really good. The red jello and the orange jello were actually very good for buffet jello - no skin and not watery at all. The vanilla pudding actually turned out to be lemon pudding, which was a terrible shock to my system.

That, my friends, is a meatball with a shrimp shoved in it. EJens assured me it wasn't the most awful thing he ate, but it was verrrry fishy and I'm unsure how it could have cooked all the way through - either of those ingredients. Despite EJens pointing out how much I love food stuffed with other non-related foods, this wasn't my favorite thing. Also, notice the fancy chef swirl next to the small piece of prime rib I got. That's not fancy, that's grease. It was close to stopping time at this point.

Thankfully, we finished up with enough room for ice cream at the ice cream station, which shares its toppings with the incredibly weak salad bar (so weak, I didn’t even notice there was salad here). So if you want gummy bears, sprinkles, sunflower seeds, bacon bits, and croutons on your ice cream, you can do that (don’t think I wasn’t tempted). I got a bowl with strawberry, vanilla, and birthday cake ice cream. EJens did some experimentation and got some nasty ice cream he wasn’t expecting. I like to think it was fish ball and lemon ice cream, but that’s simply in my own head because I think it would be hilarious. That flavor, to my knowledge, does not exist.

What’s odd about this buffet experience was that both EJens and I left NOT feeling like we were going to die. We had certainly eaten enough to be full, but not enough to be stuffed to bursting. Yes, I was sweating grease and probably smelled of fish soup and hopelessness, but I have done far more damage to my body at just about every other buffet I’ve been to.

I would not recommend eating here. Not even if you’re a giant person or have ordered your wife out of a catalog. The food was not appealing to me and had I heard the comments from my friends when they heard where we went BEFORE I ate there, I might have given it a second thought. I apologize to those whom I offend with this review, but I won’t be back there. Ever.

Top 5 things about Teppenyaki Grill
1. Black pepper chicken
2. Spicy tuna roll
3. Pig in a blanket
4. Jello
5. Ice cream

Bottom 5 things
1. Pepperoni pizza
2. Baked potato
3. Beef and broccoli
4. Spare rib
5. Atmosphere

Teppenyaki Grill
2216 Lake St. E.
Minneapolis, MN 55407

Santorini - Eden Prairie, MN

2011-10-27T10:34:00.000-05:00

D.Rough and I are headed to Santorini (the island) for our honeymoon. So we thought we’d get into practice by eating at Santorini (the restaurant) in Eden Prairie. She met me there for lunch, since we had a major coupon type deal from one of those places that emails you ridiculous coupons if you buy it that day. I can’t remember which one I bought it from, but it was worth it.

We wanted to try a couple of things, so we got a couple of appetizers and split an entrée. It’s difficult to decide what you want here, since so many things sound fantastic on the menu. Santorini has a lunch prime rib buffet, but I’m assuming they don’t have a lot of those in Greece – we ordered off the menu. We opted for the dolmades (stuffed grape leaves) and a hummus and pita sampler. Then we got the lamb and beef moussaka (like a Greek lasagna).

The restaurant isn’t the fastest place on earth, even for a late lunch when it isn’t busy at all. Fortunately, the hummus and pita plate came out first. We had decided to get Spicy Feta, the Roasted Red Pepper hummus, and the kalamata olive and goat cheese tapenade. Surprisingly, there were tons of pita pieces for us to eat. We expected maybe 6 or 7, but there were plenty. The pitas were extremely soft and little bit warm. Really quite good. My favorite dips (in order of preference) were the spicy feta, the roasted red pepper, and the tapenade. D.Rough listed her favorites in the exact opposite order, but we both loved it. We’re glad we got this to start things off.

The Dolmades came out next and were excellent. Grape leaves stuffed with seasoned ground beef and rice and then covered with a lemon cream sauce. I’ve always been a big fan of these, except when the lemon sauce is overpowering. This was just about right. I ate most of these, so D.Rough could focus on her tapenade.
The Moussaka arrived shortly after we finished our appetizers and looked delicious. It came with a side of orzo and some grileld vegetables - which I loved (and ate most of). Moussaka is sort of like a layered pasta dish (like lasagna), but has eggplant, potato, beef, and lamb in it. Very tasty with just a hint of cinnamon in it. The tomato and béchamel sauce was delicious, as well. No complaints with this entrée at all. It was the right choice and I’m hoping they serve me lots of this in Greece. I will be a very happy honeymooner.

I like this restaurant. It isn’t my favorite, nor a go-to place, but they have pretty good Greek food. It’s a little out of the way for dinner, but it is walkable from work for me if I get the need for some good Greek cooking – which I do sometimes. I’ll come back here again, but not if I have a short lunch break. It’s more of a relaxed eating environment – unless you get the lunch buffet, I suppose. ..which is weird…

Top 5 things about Santorini
1. Lamb and Beef Moussaka
2. Pita and hummus sampler
3. Dolmades
4. Comprehensive menu with a variety of different options
5. Great patio and an amazing happy hour specials

Bottom 5 things
1. A little slow on service
2. I’m curious how authentic it is, you know, since they have a prime rib buffet
3. Seemed like they had one person working the inside dining room and one person working the patio
4. There are sooo many signs in the entryway of the restaurant touting food, drink, buffet, happy hour, and brunch specials.
5. We were incredibly stuffed after this meal. Be ready for that…

www.santorinimn.com

Squealer's BBQ - Indianapolis, IN

2011-10-26T12:19:00.000-05:00

While I was in Indianapolis, I kept going back and reading this food blog - Indy Restaurant Scene - that had great reviews of places to eat. I found mention of a BBQ place that this lady’s husband raved about. I decided I needed to get there any way possible. I called a cab and gave the guy him the address. He told me it was quite a drive, but I told him I didn’t mind. He asked if I had cash and I assured him I did. How far was it anyway?...

$44 later, I found out.

It’s on the outskirts of town, nowhere near downtown. At this point, I was committed, I might as well enjoy it, right? The guy said he’d stick around and have some lunch himself at a nearby place so I didn’t have to call another cab and wait for it. Super nice guy, honestly.

I rolled inside and got a table. I already knew what I was going to eat, but I found a drink menu that had some appealing things on it. I ordered a Colt Kicker. It’s a Long Island Iced Tea but dyed blue for the Indianapolis Colts. The drink was like Windex with some lighter fluid in it. Not appealing at all and burn-y, but I sucked it down. I also ordered a half slab with some sides. BBQ beans, and mac and cheese (kind of a staple for me). The thing also came with two deep fried biscuits. Yes. Deep fried biscuits. What’s not to like with that?
The food came out quickly and I dug into the biscuits first. Holy cow. These are the best biscuits I’ve ever had in my life. They’re a cross between a biscuit and a donut. They’re also served with cinnamon apple butter, which was mind-blowing as well. Did I mention there were TWO of these things. Amazing. The Mac and cheese was really quite good and not cafeteria-like that you’ll find at a lot of places. The BBQ beans had shredded pork in them and a little bit of spice to it. Some of the best beans I’ve had in a while.

I went for the ribs next. These ribs are served with a dry rub, rather than sauce. You’ve got to try them without sauce before you know how much sauce you can put on them. They were fantastic. I know why the blogger’s husband raved about this place. Perfectly cooked. They fell off the bone, but still had a lot of texture to them. They weren’t sloppy and crumbly. Just meaty and juicy. The rub on them was salty, just to warn you, but I’m a salt addict, so I absolutely loved them. The waitress had asked what kind of sauce I’d like when I ordered – I got the sweet and spicy combo. This was the way to go: perfect amount of sweet and perfect amount of kick to them. Really delicious sauce.

I ate it ALL.
The waitress, Laura, was extremely helpful. She checked back on me to make sure I was doing alright, but not often enough to be a bother. And I will tell you this, I licked my fingers cleaner than I have in a really long time. I didn’t even want to use the wetnap they brought me for fear of losing a tiny bit of the dry rub or sauce that was still stuck to my fingers. I haven’t tried every rib place in Indianapolis, but this place honestly has some of the best ribs I’ve eaten.

Now if we talk about how much the meal actually cost me, there might be some questions. Remember, the $44 cab ride? Even with the discount the driver gave me for the ride back, it was still a hundred dollar half slab of ribs. But they were incredible, so I won’t complain at all. I’ve spent more money on crappy food than that before. It’s time to take a nap now…

Top 5 things about Squealers BBQ
T1. Amazing Baby Back Ribs
T1. Deep-fried biscuits with cinnamon apple butter
3. BBQ Beans
4. Mac and Cheese
5. Super awesome staff

Bottom 5 things
1. Cost of a cab ride to get there was higher than expected. Significantly higher.
2. Colt Kicker wasn’t awesome
3. I wish HotGirlsBrother and Low-Vee were sharing the experience with me
4. I wish there was some sort of napping cot for after meals like this. (I wonder if I should start that sort of restaurant niche…)
5. I can’t even find a fifth thing that was bad. The place is worth the trip.

www.squealersbarbeque.com

Experimental Food Night #4003 - Minneapolis, MN

2011-10-21T10:39:00.001-05:00

As often as we can, I get together with M. and Trash Giant for dinner. Very special dinners. M.Giant and I like to find unique and multicultural (some might use the term experimental or multi-horrific) dishes to trick Trash into making. Somehow, she doesn’t usually complain about doing the cooking of these things, since usually we try to keep it in the crock-pot or minimal maintenance realm of cooking. M. and I don’t actually mind cooking, but if a vegetarian is willing to touch things which formerly had parents and whip up a big batch of gross, then we’re all for letting her. To her credit, she does an amazing job and the snide remarks, fake complaints, and heartfelt hatred, add a flavor to the dish that no spice will ever be able to recreate.

This time, we had a special guest! Trash and I’s boss was in town from Louisville and had heard us talk about Experimental Food Night. She wanted in. So, we began the hunt for something extra weird and challenging. Like the red beam of light from the Staff of Ra in Indiana Jones, I came across what could only be described as miraculous.

I give you…. Cheesy chicken, bacon, and tater-tot crock pot bake.

Basically the name of the thing tells you what's in there. We were all a little bit scared of it, but we all plopped a serious portion of this thing on our plate. Well, not all of us – the vegetarian who actually assembled the thing in the crock pot took a very small portion and kept picking out the bacon pieces. Hahahahaha

It ended up being exponentially better than we all anticipated. You could taste all the flavors, and if you wanted to, you could use ketchup on it for your tater tots, if so inclined. This was one of the better meals we’ve had at experimental food night.

I wonder if we should change the name to something snappy like Tribbiani Tribute (to reference the Friends episode where one of the girls makes trifle with roast beef and Joey Tribiani loves it).

Thank you again, Trash. You continue to impress me. I’ll see what I can find on the Intarwebs for the next Tribbiani Tribute!

Golden Trail Salad (aka Freakshow Salad) - Eden Prairie, MN

2011-10-20T10:43:00.006-05:00

I got a salad a few weeks back from our office cafeteria. I got it because of the name and it turned out to be delicious. The first time I ordered it, I read on the little card in front of it, “Spicy Thai Peanut with Rice Fruit Salad.” Yes, all of those things. Then, I asked the guy behind the counter to tell me which was better: the Quinoa salad I was pointing at or the first thing I said. He said, “I’m not much for spicy food, but for my money, I’d go with the (and then he sounded out every word deliberately and slowly as if it were a required script from headquarters) Spicy Thai Peanut with Rice Fruit Salad.” I’m glad I did. It was delicious. It was so delicious that I wrote an email to the corporate chef and told him it was the best thing I’d ever had in the work cafeteria and the next time I saw it, I would be buying a larger portion and forcing coworkers to eat it. Again, I’m NOT kidding.

I emailed my friend Trash and she couldn’t believe the ingredients I rattled off. She thought I was joking, especially when I said how delicious it was. I wasn’t joking.

A few days later, I mentioned the salad was amazing to the regular guy behind the counter and he let me in on a little secret – the salads are on a three-week rotation. They do three salads a day and rotate them every 15 days – seriously, they do 45 different salads. Amazing. I backtracked the date I originally got the salad (thankfully, my sent-mail still had my note to the chef), and figured out the next day it would be in the cafeteria. In fact, I put an Outlook reminder on my calendar to remind me to go get it every third week.

That third week rolled around today. DING! DING! DING!

I already told you it was delicious. And, based on the original descriptive name of the salad, you might be able to guess about a tenth of the ingredients they had in there. But today, it was different. And better. They had changed the name of the salad to “Golden Trail Salad”. Well played, Aramark! MUCH more user-friendly and much less scary sounding. That’s customer insight in action. I ordered up a double portion and headed back to my desk with a smile.

And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for…. The ingredients in said salad:

strawberries
apples
grapes
golden and purple raisins
red peppers
marinated cucumbers
asian cabbage/slaw
carrots
wild rice
tortilla strips
mandarin oranges
almond slivers
unidentifiable something orange (possibly mango)
something that gives it spice - I'm assuming the dressing-type thing that its covered in
...and, it is covered in tortilla strips for some crunch

This thing looks like a culinary monstrosity, but is honestly one of the best salads I’ve ever had. So many flavors, so many textures. If I could figure out the dressing/sauce they put on the whole thing, I’d make this thing at home. I know – you never thought I would be raving about a salad on this meat-iful blog, but I am.

This is a game-changing salad.

Big Daddy’s Bar and Grill – Indianapolis, IN

2011-10-19T09:05:00.005-05:00

I did what I normally do before I go check out a city I hadn’t been to in a while. I hopped online and did some food research. I ended up finding this amazing blog - Indy Restaurant Scene - that had some great recommendations. I scrolled down until I found a listing for breaded pork tenderloins (the national dish of Indianapolis, unless you’re from Indianapolis). It suggested we go check out Big Daddy’s for a serious-sized tenderloin. In fact, I tricked a couple of roller derby significant others to come with me and have lunch before the derby action got started. ZackTorture, Slam, MommasBoy, and I piled into the car and headed out to gorge ourselves.
When we arrived, there wasn’t a single car in the parking lot – uh oh. Fortunately, when we tried the door (which claims a two drink minimum – seriously), it was open.
We headed inside and grabbed a table. It’s a nicely lit bar and not at all scary, like we had suspected. There are all sorts of interesting household items made into guitars hanging on the walls, so those of us whoe were musicians were pretty amused by it all. The really nice waitress came over and took our drink orders. I asked about Strongbow cider and she told me they didn’t have it, but they had this other new kind of cider. She handed me a table tent thing with an ad on it. It looked like it was being marketed to 6 year old girls. REALLY. So of COURSE I was going to try it. I love girly drinks. I got to choose between peach, strawberry, watermelon, and original flavors. I went with original.

She came back with the drinks and the guys started mocking. Really mocking. I had to admit, it was pretty wussy-looking in its metal bottle with cartoons all over it. It even said “apple wine” on the side of the bottle. REALLY wussy. I tried it and was not impressed. It was amazingly watered down – even lighter than Crispin cider, which I think is almost undrinkable. Very little flavor and no texture at all to it. I was going to drink this as fast as possible and get something else. It’s pretty clear this drink was designed by creepy old guys to lure underage girls into getting loaded and needing a “ride home”, since it has the same ABV as regular cider.

She took our orders and we explained we had heard about these giant tenderloins. She put three of us down for them and told us she’d be right back. ZackTorture had already eaten lunch, so he was just going to drink straight through. The waitress returned pretty quickly with our food.
The food is gigantic. Epic. Colossal. And any other big words you can think of. The tenderloin is beaten really thin and breaded with Corn Flake crumbs to make it sweet. But it is also served on a platter on top of two buns you have to hunt for to utilize. Yes, served on a platter, not a plate. It’s BIG. One of the most hilarious things about this is all three of us ate our pork-T’s differently. MommasBoy folded his in half, threw it on the bun, and went for speed.
Slam went with a tri-fold (I’m not kidding) on a bun, so his was triple thick and triple crunchy. I left mine on my plate and pulled chunks off around the outside until I hit the bun, then I put the single-thick portion that was left on the bun, heavily ketchup-ed it, and finished mine off.

I had also finished my children’s cider, so I ordered a straight Jack Daniels. The guys said it almost redeemed me in their eyes to drink such a manly drink. That was all I asked.

I know the review I had read online complained a little bit about the tenderloin being dry, but mine wasn’t at all. It wasn’t juicy like the one I had the previous day, but it was moist and had a great flavor and crunch, especially for how flat they had pounded this thing. It was reallllly thin. The hand-breading is what makes this thing. It’s breaded with corn flake crumbs which makes it just the slightest bit sweet and VERY crunchy. I really liked this breaded pork tenderloin a lot. The onion rings are also enormous – well, they’re very thick, anyway. They’re not freakishly large onions or anything, they’re just cut thick and battered really well.

MommasBoy and I finished our sandwiches. It was a struggle, which is saying something since I can eat a lot of food. Slam did some damage to his, but was unable to finish it up. And in case you’re wondering, yes, this IS very heavy food and you’ll want to take a nap immediately. You will NOT feel up to going to roller derby, painting your face, jumping up and down, and yelling for the next four hours. …Sigh… we did it anyway.

Big Daddy’s is a fun place and we were treated really well there. I’m really very curious as to something on the menu called the “Tenderloin for Two”. Was it twice as large as the single one, or is it just served with two sets of buns? I should have asked. Either way, the menu is pretty extensive and you really can’t go wrong with a breaded pork tenderloin. I’d recommend it!

Top 5 things about Big Daddy’s
1. Giant breaded pork tenderloin
2. Onion rings
3. Enormous menu
4. Really awesome staff
5. We capitalized on the two drink minimum

Bottom 5 things
1. Oliver Bean Blossom Hard Cider
2. You can still smoke in here (thankfully no one was)
3. Indescribable food coma
4. No Heinz ketchup in this town anywhere
5. I only got four onion rings and I couldn’t finish them… weak

Big Daddy’s Bar and Grill
2536 S Meridian St
Indianapolis, IN 46225

Loughmiller’s Pub & Eatery – Indianapolis, IN

2011-10-15T09:59:00.000-05:00

I recently wet down to Indianapolis for the North Central Region Roller Derby Championships (where D.Rough was skating). It’s always a good time, where I get to yell really loud for a few hours each day, sometimes without a shirt on, sometimes covered in chest paint. I don’t apologize. While D.Rough is in tournament mode, I get to find my own interesting and horrifying food, since her body doesn’t like surprises on bout day.

Fortunately, D.Rough helped out with my pre-trip food research and found out that Indianapolis is known for its breaded pork tenderloins. So I made some calls and emails to people I know that lived/lived in Indianapolis. Not a single one knew about this city-wide claim to fame. In fact, while I was in Indianapolis at the tournament, I asked local fans about this claim to fame and none of them had ever heard of it. I told them to look it up since it’s all over the Internet – Indianapolis, famous for breaded pork tenderloins. [Note: every restaurant I went to in the area (aside from a drunken late night trip to Steak N Shake) highly recommended their pork tenderloin as one of the best things on their respective menus – I’m NOT kidding.]

I was determined to get a breaded pork-T, since I grew up on the things and hadn’t had one in a while. I’ve got a few local favorites back in Illinois, but I honestly don’t think I’ve had a pork-T since I moved to Minnesota. Weird.

I had some time to kill while waiting for roller derby to get started, so I hit the streets. About two blocks from the venue, I stumbled across a little pub called Loughmiller’s Pub & Eatery. There was some sidewalk seating, so I thought I’d go check out the menu. At the very least, I’d get a drink. I didn’t want to be rude.
I walked inside and was greeted by the bar tender. Nice guy and very helpful. I ordered a jack and coke and asked for a menu. Then I asked him what was good here at Loughmiller’s. The very first words out of his mouth were, “We sell a lot of breaded pork tenderloins here. Second only to burgers.” Ding! Ding!! Ding!!! How do people in Indianapolis not know they’re known for this?! I told him that I had heard the area was known for good pork tenderloins and I would be happy to try one out. Then we made fun of this really odd looking pink stuff behind the bar. He mocked it heavily and said it was like some sort of strawberry baileys type drink. I didn’t have the heart to buy the bottle from him right there, but I will track it down eventually. That sounded delicious.

I went outside to grab a seat and the waitress chatted me up after I got settled and checked my email on my phone. The meal came out pretty quickly and I was happy they hadn’t done anything weird to an old favorite of mine. This looked really good. I started with the fries. They were really crispy, without being burnt and were pretty darn good. I was letting the sandwich cool down, so I finished almost all of the fries before I even got started on the sandwich.
The sandwich was delicious and generously sized. Thicker than many I’ve seen, which means it retained a lot of juice. Scalding hot delicious juice (or grease – call it whatever you want, treehugger). The breading was good and thick and there was no gristle at all inside, however, the whole thing could have been cooked a slight bit longer. The breading could have had a touch more crispiness to it. I’m a fan of this breaded pork tenderloin – not that I had any doubt. I might be a little biased, however.

A few people walked past my table on the sidewalk and asked if this was a good place for lunch. I told them I wasn’t from these parts, but the sandwich I was eating was top-notch. They immediately went inside. I’m happy to give a resounding review when warranted. The sandwich may not make any national rankings, it was absolutely what I needed and a delicious way to start my time in Indianapolis. Thanks, Loughmiller’s!

Top 5 things about Loughmiller’s Pub & Eatery
1. Breaded Pork Tenderloin
2. Crispy fries
3. Really awesome staff
4. They have some sort of strawberry alcohol behind the bar
5. Really nice atmosphere – it says “neighborhood bar” on the outside and that’s what it feels like

Bottom 5 things
1. They don’t have Heinz ketchup – only Red Gold. I’m very loyal to Heinz because it’s the best
2. Indianapolis has a lot of riff raff downtown. They’re very...uh…talkative while you’re eating
3. I didn’t actually order any of the delicious-sounding strawberry stuff behind the bar for fear of mocking
4. I keep forgetting you can still smoke in bars in Indiana
5. The breading on the tenderloin could have been fried a little more (of course I say that about SOOO many things…)

www.loughmillerspub.com

Rocka Leta – from Mexico

2011-10-14T10:16:00.006-05:00

(M.Giant scored me some delicious candy from a friend who lives in Mexico. I’m going to review a bunch of the stuff he gave me. This is only one of a handful I swiped from the foreign-language-candy-box.)

For those that don’t know, Mexico passes a lot of things off as candy. They will dip a plastic spoon they found on the road into some chocolate, let it harden, and they’ll sell it as candy. Just like the Chaca Chaca, this doesn’t inspire high hopes for this thing.
I had no idea what a Rocka Leta was, so I translated the words on the front of the package using Babelfish – this site comes in handy for translating all kinds of foreign candy inscriptions. There is a photo of a red ball wearing sun glasses and his hair appears to be on fire. Despite my lack of knowledge of international iconographic representations, this indicates to me that this thing is hot. Whatever this “thing” is. The other picture on the package looks like a thermometer is stuck inside a Gobstopper, so I assumed that’s what I was going to get. Then, I pulled up the translation for “paleta con goma de mascar” on Babelfish. It told me it was “trowel with rubber to chew”. Really? Trowel? Rubber? This was going to be interesting.

I unwrapped whatever this thing was and it squirted red goo onto my hand. And, of course, that red goo smelled like tamarind. Ugggh. Awful. I HATE tamarind. The Rocka looked like a green gumball of sorts with a thick layer of tamarind goo on the outside. This experiment wasn’t going to be easy. I gave it a lick and almost gagged – the tamarind was sooo overpowering. I figured there’s only one way to figure this thing out – BITE it. Expecting the worst (broken teeth, acid, an eyeball, etc.), I bit the thing really hard. Of course I got a boat load of tamarind flavor in my mouth, but also some tingle. There was definitely something spicy in there.

Texturally, the thing bit in half like a cross between a soft jawbreaker and a stale gumball. It’s a multi-layered deal with each level progressively grosser than the previous one. I’m still not sure what exactly was spicy, but I didn’t keep this nasty thing in my mouth long enough to figure it out. The tamarind was killing me.

This is one of the worst lollipops in the history of mankind. Again, Mexican parents should be brought up on charges for giving their children toxic ass-flavored goo on a stick and telling them it is candy. That’s just cruel.

I’m done with this Mexican and Brazilian candy experiment. I give up. I will call it a loss in the record book, just make it stop. I’m going to find a Butterfinger ASAP. I’m also going to napkin off my tongue to get this tamarind taste out.

La Sevillanas Glorias – Dulce De Leche Decabra con Nuez – from Mexico

2011-10-13T10:23:00.004-05:00

(M.Giant scored me some delicious candy from Brazil while he was there. And by “there”, I mean at a Brazilian steakhouse for his anniversary dinner. He got a bunch of candy that came straight from Brazil. I’m going to review a bunch of the stuff he gave me. This is only one of a handful I swiped from the foreign-language-candy-box.)

The La Sevillanas Glorias, like its brothers the Cajeta-filled cone and the Jesus-wafer-sandwich, is not actually from Brazil, upon further study of the package. It’s from Mexico. For those that don’t know, Mexico passes a lot of things off as candy. They will dip a plastic spoon they found on the road into some chocolate, let it harden, and they’ll sell it as candy. Just like the everything else I’ve eaten from this “care” package, this doesn’t inspire high hopes for this thing.

I unwrapped the red cellophane wrapping around this soft caramel roll-thing. It’s much bigger than a tootsie roll nd is about an inch in diameter and maybe 2 inches long. Wait, is Mexico on the metric system? Hell, I don’t know. Frankly, I’m convinced this “candy” is a joke. It actually looks like feces. There are nuts in it and what appears to be sand. I have no idea how this is considered candy and, in fact, I don’t even want to put it anywhere near my face, let alone my mouth. This thing looks terrible. It smells faintly of caramel, but that’s about all it’s got going for it.

I pressed on and actually took a bite of this thing. It is gooey soft and absolutely disgusting. Sadly, I could taste the walnut pieces I managed to get in my mouth, but the gritty texture might be cinnamon in there. I can’t even tell. It’s GRIT. Enough said. There are other indecipherable thing inside, but I didn’t give it another taste to verify what they might be. It was just too bizarre, both texture and taste, to continue. Please kids, don’t attempt this at home. It’s a turd. Plain and simple. And I ate a bite of it.

Thank goodness I’m almost at the end of this pile of ass-flavored candy M.Giant so “kindly” brought back for me. I can hear you laughing from here, jackhole.

La Sevillanas Mini Oblea Con Cajeta De Leche De Cabra – from Mexico

2011-10-12T10:45:00.003-05:00

(M.Giant scored me some delicious candy from Brazil while he was there. And by “there”, I mean at a Brazilian steakhouse for his anniversary dinner. He got a bunch of candy that came straight from Brazil. I’m going to review a bunch of the stuff he gave me. This is only one of a handful I swiped from the foreign-language-candy-box.)

The La Sevillanas Mini Oblea Con Cajeta De Leche De Cabra, like its brother the Cajeta-filled cone, is not actually from Brazil, upon further study of the package. It’s from Mexico. For those that don’t know, Mexico passes a lot of things off as candy. They will dip a plastic spoon they found on the road into some chocolate, let it harden, and they’ll sell it as candy. Just like the everything else I’ve eaten from this “care” package, this doesn’t inspire high hopes for this thing.

I unwrapped the cellophane wrapping around this disc-like object, and what laid in my hand made me start laughing. This is a Jesus-wafer. …As in, the Holy Eucharist found in most Catholic Churches – something people of Mexican descent take very seriously. Until now. I’m not kidding. This is a Jesus-wafer-sandwich with caramel on the inside. Someone was actually sitting in Mass one day and thought to himself/herself, “I bet I could make these flavorless wafer things really bitchin’ if I slapped some cheap caramel in the middle and made a sammich (or torta, in Spanish).” Brilliant plan. Poor execution.

The wafer, like everything else wafer-like in Mexico, is soft and stale and flavorless. I tried to like this one, but I absolutely couldn’t. The caramel is that realllllly cheap stuff that isn’t smooth, nor does it have a good flavor, but I’m sure wouldn’t be useful as some sort of industrial building material. It’s barely edible. I’m not going to be a big promoter of these Mexican candies, and I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve somehow angered M.Giant and this is his Minnesotan passive-aggressive revenge.

La Sevillanas Cajeta Filled Cone – from Mexico

2011-10-02T10:59:00.004-05:00

M.Giant scored me some delicious candy from Brazil while he was there. And by “there”, I mean at a Brazilian steakhouse for his anniversary dinner. He got a bunch of candy that came straight from Brazil. I’m going to review a bunch of the stuff he gave me. This is only one of a handful I swiped from the foreign-language-candy-box.

The La Sevillanas Cajeta Filled Cone, as it turns out, is not actually from Brazil, upon further study of the package. It’s from Mexico. For those that don’t know, Mexico passes a lot of things off as candy. They will dip a plastic spoon they found on the road into some chocolate, let it harden, and they’ll sell it as candy. Just like the Chaca Chaca, this doesn’t inspire high hopes for this thing.
I unwrapped multiple packages of cellophane wrapping to get at this thing, but what you have is an ice cream cone filled with caramel. Sounds pretty simple. This one didn’t sound half-bad. I was wrong.
The cone is soft and stale and flavorless. I wanted to actually like this one. And I’m thinking a fresh cone would do wonders for this thing. The caramel isn’t top notch or extra smooth or anything, but it’s tolerable. But the cone isn’t. It actually ruined the whole thing. I’m not a fan of this cajeta filled cone.

But for the record, these cones are exponentially better than the Chaca Chaca was.

Chaca Chaca – from Mexico

2011-10-01T11:07:00.000-05:00

M.Giant scored me some delicious candy from Brazil while he was there. And by “there”, I mean at a Brazilian steakhouse in Hopkins, MN for his anniversary dinner. He got a bunch of candy that came straight from Brazil. I’m going to review a bunch of the stuff he gave me. This is only one of a handful I swiped from the foreign-language-candy-box.

The Chaca Chaca, as it turns out, is not actually from Brazil, upon further study of the package. It’s from Mexico. For those that don’t know, Mexico passes a lot of things off as candy. They will dip a plastic spoon they found on the road into some chocolate, let it harden, and they’ll sell it as candy. That doesn’t inspire high hopes for this thing.
I translated the writing on the package: “Dulce de Frutas con Sal y Chile”. This means “Candy of Fruits with Salt and Chile”. I’m beginning to see where this is going.

First bite… OHMYGODGETITOUTOFMYMOUTH!!!!!!!!! After like 3 chews, I spit it into the garbage can. Absolutely disgusting. It’s tamarind, and I hate tamarind with every fiber of my being. Tamarind is barely a fruit, it’s more like a rancid raisin flavor with a little spice to it. This Chaca Chaca bar is a tamarind fruit roll-up covered with salt and chili powder. It seriously looks like it’s a breaded fruit roll-up. The brown coloring is nothing other than chili powder wrapped around a soft fruit gel that tastes like crap. So you have the fire in your mouth immediately after biting into a soft squishy moldy raisin bar. There is nothing good about this.
I spit the only bite that I could stomach out into the garbage can. Disgusting and now I’ve not only got the nasty taste of ass-flavored raisins in my mouth, but it is permanently infusing itself into my tastebuds through the mechanism of fire. The chile stuff is hot, not painful hot, but really hot. Enough to make your eyes water. And did I mention gross?.... It’s gross.

I’m beginning to think this is Mexico’s solution to the obesity problem. Give children horrifically disgusting candy and they won’t want to eat it ever again. They may be on to something…

Have I mentioned this is GROSS?!?!?

Nestle charge – from Brazil

2011-09-30T10:06:00.005-05:00

Icons Martini Bar – Rock Island, IL

2011-09-28T10:09:00.003-05:00

Since I don’t get back to my hometown very often, when I do, I usually have half a trillion people asking me to pop by for a visit. I’ve found a cure for letting down almost all of these half a trillion people. I’ll just pick a place to go and hang out and people can come find me. That’s what I did. HotGirlsBrother and I have gone to Icons a number of times when we’ve both been home for Christmas, so after a brief conference call with my little brother on the drive down to the Quad Cities, I decided I’d meet people here. Icons has fantastic girly drinks, and that’s what I was looking for.

I was in town for my class reunion which was being held at the Blue Cat Brew Pub across the street from Icons. So basically, I was doing a little pre-drinking before I showed up and met people I haven’t seen in hundreds of years. Thankfully, a small horde of people showed up to hang out at Icons with me while I primed my liver for a long evening with classmates.

I started with a Sgt. Diego martini – a horchata martini with Rumchata, vodka, and “surprises”. I never found out what the surprises were, but I probably drank it too fast to figure it out. One of the best martinis I’ve ever had, honestly. Simply amazing.

I moved on to the Muhammad Ali – a chocolate covered cherry martini. Amaretto, Bailey’s, some chocolate syrup on the glass, and a cherry in the bottom. Stellar drink. I like them sweet, and this nailed it.

I finished our little happy hour with a Fab Four – the greatest chocolate martini ever (so Icons claims). Guinness, Godiva Original Chocolate liqueur, Bailey’s, and Amaretto (and some chocolate syrup in the glass for this one, as well). This was a great finisher. I couldn’t taste the beer, which worked out well, but I had a yummy chocolate taste in my mouth the whole walk across the street to the reunion. … where I promptly jettisoned the chocolate flavor by drinking 8 glasses of Glenmorangie Single-Malt Scotch.

Icons is one of the best martini bars I’ve ever been to and I sometimes forget to go there when I’m in town. I’ll need to make a special point to put it on my calendar so I remember the next time. Delicious.

Finally, I can’t express enough thanks to my amazing friends that came to Icons to meet me. I miss all of you way more than I even express and wish I could bring all of you back home with me.

http://iconsmartinibar.webs.com

Rudy’s Tacos – Moline, IL

2011-09-27T10:18:00.000-05:00

I can do a pretty quick review of Rudy’s Tacos, since I did one in 2009 and I don’t think I’d change much of it. I met Coach there since I was back in the Quad Cities for our class reunion. Coach and I used to eat at Rudy’s at least once or twice a week, back in our college days. It’s not a place we’d recommend to outsiders, but for Quad City natives, it’s a staple.

I went into the way back machine and ordered something I almost always got when I was growing up. A cheese crisp as an appetizer and then a large combo. I was ready for a cheese overdose!!!

The cheese crisp came out first. It is simply a fried flour shell with an enormous amount of shredded cheddar cheese melted on top of it. Absolutely awesome.

Then for the large combo. It’s hard to get a perspective on the size of this platter, but it’s at least twice as big as the plate the cheese crisp came on. You can kind of tell based on the size of the soda glass I put next to it. These combinations are serious. It has enough cheese on it to kill someone from Wisconsin. It’s a hardshell taco, a tostada (which is being covered by the taco and the cheese on top of that), a beef enchilada, a beef and cheese burrito, a sancho (like a burrito type thing), and a bowl of beans and rice (also covered with shredded cheese). All with a nice blanket of melted shredded cheddar cheese.

It’s glorious. I wasn’t able to finish the entire thing, but I did an incredible amount of damage to this dish. Like I said in my previous review, I’m too biased to really give a fair top and bottom 5, but I’ll keep going back to Rudy’s. It’s in my blood (probably in the form of cholesterol).

...And then, a little later, I had to go to Whitey's Ice cream for a strawberry pineapple milkskake! Sooooooooo delicious. I love being back home sometimes.

Cora’s Best Chicken Wings – St. Paul, MN

2011-09-26T11:34:00.004-05:00

Since I was working from home, it opened up a whole new bag of options for me when lunch time rolled around. I had driven past Cora’s a number of times and mentioned I should eat there. D.Rough reminded me I wanted to go there, so I headed down to the Cesar Chavez area of St. Paul.

The inside of the restaurant is nicer than I expected. There are a handful of tables to eat at, and there were even people in line in front of me. That’s always a good sign.
The first thing you’ll notice about the menu is it isn’t distinctly a cuisine that lines up with what you might consider traditional chicken wings. In fact, not at all. It’s filled with fried rice, egg rolls, and cream cheese puffs. Not that I’m complaining. And, since there aren’t any good photos online as to what the menu contains, I snapped as many photos as I could tactfully do, while the person working the counter was in back preparing people’s plates. Like I said, there are some weird things going on here.

Pay attention to the serious family specials. There are a few hand drawn signs up around the interior like this, so be sure to look at them all. This way you won't miss out on the perfect combination because you were in a rush!

I wanted a few different things, so I tried to figure out how best to order what I wanted without getting three different meals. I ended up getting a 9-piece nugget (hot) meal with fried rice and a #3 lunch special: two cream cheese puffs, an egg roll, two wings, fried rice and a soda (grape). That sounded like it would fill me up.

The counter guy grabbed a couple things out of the warming case in front of me and headed into the back to load on various sauces and such. I’m not even sure what happened back there, but it doesn’t matter. Whatever magic happens in the kitchen is no concern of mine. I just thought it was weird that he brought things to the back and then returned with the same things he just had, and then scooped them into my Styrofoam containers. I got my food and headed home to eat.

I started with the egg roll, since sometimes they’re not good when they cool off a bit. It was decent, actually. Plenty of cabbage and good stuff on the inside. The normal amount of cinnamon (for Minnesota palettes) is inside, which is too much for me, but I’m guessing people up here will think it’s fine. It did taste a little like chicken though. I Was wondering if they had a separate fryer for the egg rolls - maybe not.

The cream cheese puffs were also decent. Nothing stellar, but not awful. They were a little soft, but I don’t think it was from being too greasy, maybe they had just sat too long. They didn’t crunch at all when I bit into them. The flavor was fine, though – which is to say, it tasted like chicken. I don’t think they have a separate fryer back in back.

I took a couple bites of the fried rice. I think it might be the first time I’ve seen corn niblets in fried rice. I’m used to seeing peas and carrots, but whatever bag of frozen veggies they bought to put in the fried rice, had pieces of corn in it, as well. Weird, but not bad tasting. The fried rice was seasoned a-plenty with black pepper, but it wasn’t too much – just enough to make you notice and say they were generous with the black pepper.

Up until this point, my head is entirely in Chinese-food-mode. At this new transitional point, I’ve busted open the Grape Shasta that I bought and immediately, my head went into rib mode. And it was in for a shock, because it was chicken time. Sorry brain.

The chicken wings were… interesting. They were the Chinese restaurant sort of wings, not the BWW sort of wings. If you don’t know what I mean, I’ll do my best to explain. Chinese food wings are super ultra crispy, like they overcook it intentionally and shrink the meat down to where it’s mega tough to chew. In fact, some of it is so crispy you can’t tell if you’re eating chicken meat or a chicken bone. Sadly, I found that out the hard way with these wings. Ouch – that’s the last time I try to “power through” a tough bit of wing. The sauce isn’t very prevalent on these, as it’s kind of cooked into the wings. I should have paid the $.50 and bought a container of sauce to dip these things into. I think it would have helped. That being said, the flavor of the wings wasn’t that bad, it was just tough to get the meat off the bones in a lot of cases.

I moved on to the nuggets. I was a little alarmed these looked like the chicken nuggets I poured out of a freezer bag for a snack the other night. A LOT like them. But whatever – they were covered in a tasty-looking red-ish sauce and I was looking forward to them.
I was a little confused at first when I bit into them. I had been eating the fried rice, so my head had switched back into Chinese food mode again. Which really made my head spin around when I realized the nuggets I was eating was distinctly Chinese-tasting. I’ve had this somewhere before.

Now I know!. It tasted like general Tso’s chicken sauce put on frozen-in-a-bag pre-formed chicken nuggets… and by that, I mean they were delicious. I wanted to REALLY not like these, because it’s pretty obvious what they are. But the sauce gives them a little bit of zing that they need. This seriously is what a suburban housewife would have tried to pass off as Chinese food when I Was a kid. Luckily for me, my mother is one hell of a cook, and she never did this. But if one of my friends’ mom’s had done this for dinner, I would have raved about it. I will absolutely consider going to grab a bunch of these nuggets sometime when I’m at home chillin in front of the television.

I realized they ONLY have fried food there. Shrimp, chicken, rice, cheese puffs, egg rolls, etc. All fried. All the time. (That could be their new slogan – you’re welcome, Cora.) I wouldn’t quite say I’m a fan of this place, but there do happen to be things there that I’m interested in eating again. It’s an odd little place and I don’t think I’d talk anyone OUT of going. It’s just not going to be a go-to place for me.

Top 5 things about Cora’s Best Chicken Wings
1. General Tso’s Chicken Nuggets
2. They have orange and grape Shasta. Wurd.
3. It’s fairly affordable
4. The guy behind the counter was really nice
5. Lots of varieties of specials, so it’s easier to mix and match

Bottom 5 things
1. The wings were, surprisingly, not the “best” I’ve had
2. Everything tasted like chicken
3. The cream cheese puffs were a little soft
4. Everything is fried (likely in the same grease – see #2)
5. The nuggets were frozen, but reheated (although I still think the sauce made them fantastic)

Cora’s Best Chicken Wings
168 Cesar Chavez Street
Saint Paul, MN 55107-2227
(651) 221-0020

Ali Baba’s: King of Gyros – West St. Paul, MN

2011-09-25T10:39:00.000-05:00

D.Rough and I were having a lazy day watching the Eastern Regional Championships of Roller Derby online like nerds. D.Rough is watching as many games as possible so when the Minnesota Roller Girls go to Nationals, she’ll have some insight into the other teams’ strategies. Yes, it’s that serious, people. We thought we’d grab something and eat it at home so we didn’t have to move far form the computer screen. Ali Baba’s is right up the street, so I headed over to grab us some food.

She told me what she wanted before I left, and I thought I knew what I wanted until I saw the menu once I got inside. There are a ton of things on there that I’m dying to try now. But since I had a hankering for gyro meat, I went with that. Regular gyro with an order of fries.
I didn’t wait long inside, since the most time-consuming part is waiting for the fries to get cooked. So within a couple of minutes, I was on my way back to roller derby.

I got home and took a couple of photos before I dug into everything.
The fries were quite tasty. They have that magic dust the some places put on them to make them extra addictive. It certainly has to be crack. It’s a tiny bit of spice and salt that makes you not able to stop shoveling them into your mouth. And the fries were pretty thick cut and crispy – just the way I like them.

The gyro was packed full of meat, lettuce, tomatoes, and tzatziki sauce. I had to eat a couple pieces of the meat out of the inside to even get the thing to roll in half so I could eat it properly. The meat is cut VERY thick at Ali Baba’s. I’m personally a thin-slice guy (and then throw it on the flat top and crisp up the edges – but then again, I’m apparently a high-maintenance gyro-eater…), but the meat was the good stuff and exactly what I had a craving for. I ate a couple of the meat slices and then picked up the sandwich to finish off. The pita stayed together, which is usually a sign of quality and fresh pitas, so I was thrilled with that. There was plenty of tzatziki sauce on this thing, which I love, and the toppings all seemed fresh.

Overall, this was a really good gyro. Not life changing, but definitely hit the spot and made me happy to go back and try the other things on the menu that I decided against this day. Nothing bad about this place at all, I assure you. Looking forward to my next trip there.

Ali Baba’s
1264 S. Robert Street
West St Paul MN 55118
(651) 552-9660

Fort Snelling Disc Golf Course – Minneapolis, MN

2011-09-24T10:36:00.000-05:00

I recently found out they installed a disc golf course on the Fort Snelling Ball Golf Course right there on the Army base. I’ve driven by the golf course, but not recently, so D.Rough and I went to check it out one Sunday afternoon and ask some questions at the club house. What I found out was worth reporting back to the guys I play disc golf with on Saturday mornings. We decided to play it since our original plan fell through anyway.

The first issue is finding the course. It is set back behind the ball diamonds and soccer fields just off of 62 (near Historic Fort Snelling, obviously). Once you get behind the soccer fields, you turn south towards the airport, and drive by all these creepy abandoned military buildings, then you turn right into what looks like the middle of the ball golf course and wind your way back to the “club house”.
And by club house, I mean it looks like it was built to be a little kids' club house. It isn’t all high-brow like a country club. It’s functional and it’s wood (TWSS). I wasn’t even sure which door to use to get inside the two times I went there. NOTE: It’s the one on the east side of the building, near the golf carts.

The 18-hole disc golf course is actually on the 9-hole ball golf course. Only a few of the holes share the same fairways, which usually sounds like a good idea, right? Well, when you hear that, that could also mean disc golfers are cutting across bal golf fairways and popping out of trees near the greens and it could end up being a distraction for both sets of players. But the ranger working the club house said they hadn’t had any problems to date – knock on wood.

It is $5.36 to play a round (taxes and such) or $2.50 +tax is you’re a senior or 17 and under. You can rent a golf cart (yes seriously) if you’d like for around $16. The holes range from 57 yards to 311 yards. This means it’s long. Really long. REALLY LONG. Disc golfer measure things in feet, so multiply by three. This means 177-933 feet. I’ve heard disc golfers complain when there are more than one or two holes longer than 450 feet, so you KNOW people are going to whine about this course having multiple holes longer than 900 feet. But, I’ll get to that.

There are red (recreational), blue (amateur), and gold (pro) tees for each hole and they’re marked very well with stakes near the sunken tee markers. The tees are grass, so don’t go expecting concrete tees at this course. The baskets are VERY clearly marked with giant numbers and on each basket, there are indicators which direction to walk for the next tee – each color of tee is indicated separately. VERY smart! The course is open sunrise to sunset (I’m going to figure out how long into the season they’re open – I would love to see it open all through the winter, as it WOULD get played.

Ball golfers always have the right of way (their course, they’re rules). Also, you get penalized for throwing onto any ball golf green, onto any concrete path (standard disc golf rule), and into any water hazard (standard disc golf rule). The one rule some of us had issue with was you can’t throw across/over a ball golf green. Fortunately, the course is laid out in such a way that you ALMOST never have to do that, but on a few holes (including the finishing holes, it is VERY much a challenge to avoid the green. Your group will have to use its discretion when penalizing a player in your group. Just letting you know in advance.

There are five mandatories on this course. This means there are obstacles you are required to throw to the left or right of. This is usually done to maintain a safe distance from ball golfers or some other hazard. If you go the wrong direction around the indicated tree, you take a penalty stroke, or have to wind back around the proper direction. Fortunately, the mandatory trees are very well indicated, both on the scorecard and at the base of the tree itself.

While there isn’t a lot of elevation change (it’s on a pretty flat course), they make use of it when they can. As it stands, the challenge factor comes from the length of the holes themselves. There are some really well placed tree obstacles in your way, as well as a few low ceiling shots. But, in general, there are clear fairways to navigate, and mostly wide open fairways.

None of us were rich enough to get carts, but it’s an option if we really wanted to. We braved the cold and the wind (and the noise of the airport – it is RIGHT next to the runway) and played a really fun round. There were some incredible shots made (not by me, as usual), both driving and putting. The ground is flat enough to throw incredible rollers, but with the wind, you have to decide if it’s worth the risk. Only one hole has water, so you’re not likely to lose any plastic.Note: That's the fence next to the runway on our left!

The tees showed some people have been playing this course, so that’s a good sign. However, it wasn’t a TON of traffic that leaves giant mud pits or burn spots from all the twisting feet on the tees (maybe there is on the blue or red tees, but not the gold tees).

Most of the group liked the course. I am probably more of a fan than the others because I have a longer drive than them, so it plays to my strength (keep in mind, I can’t putt for crap, which is the big leveler in this game). But, by having some pretty open fairways, it keeps the frustration down from hitting a ton of trees. This again is countered by the wind if it’s a windy day.

All in all, I think this is a really good course. Aside from the distance on the holes, I wouldn’t put it in the “championship” caliber arena, but it’s extremely challenging. It isn’t likely they’ll run a bunch of tournaments out here either, especially with the ball golf happening, but I don’t think the ball golf course gets crowded enough that there are going to be fist fights on the course with disc golfers.

I’ve blabbed enough about this course. If you’re in the area, it is definitely worth checking out. How often do you get to play a couple of 900+ foot holes in the same round? Not often enough, *I* say.

Chicken Bacon Ranch Chicken Flatbread Sandwich at Taco Bell – Eden Prairie, MN

2011-09-23T09:59:00.001-05:00

I like to try new things that Taco Bell launches and I’ve seen the ridiculous cooking-show-inspired commercial for the new chicken flatbread sandwiches they have. I was out and about for lunch, so I thought I’d pick one up.

The nice thing is they come in those $5 boxes Taco Bell has, which really are a good deal. Sometimes I don’t want to think about ordering and I just grab a box since there’s a variety of stuff in there. I ordered the Bacon Ranch Chicken Flatbread $5 Box – ordering this reminds me of those people that have a 25-word order at Starbucks for their special coffee. Hahahaha.

I started in on it and sadly was a little underwhelmed. It’s basically a square taco, but it’s in a pita shell. The flavors all sort of mixed together into what I like to call a meh-sauce. You could tell you were chewing something, but you really couldn’t decipher anything. I was about halfway through the thing before I noticed the severe lack of bacon. I opened it back up and checked the remaining innards for bacon. Nuthin. Angrily, I hopped on the Taco Bell website to find out what the deal was. As it turns out, the ranch is actually a “bacon ranch”, so NOT two separate ingredients as one might suspect. This was a serious let down. Sadly, I ate an entirely bacon-less lunch.

I wouldn’t order the chicken flatbread sandwich again, especially not the bacon ranch one. Maybe the plain version is more straight forward with its flavor and is less covered up by the meh-sauce. But someone else will have to check for me. I’m too jaded by missing out on bacon. You might say it left a bad taste in my mouth – I can’t believe I haven’t used that line yet on this site. Weird.

Roat Osha – Minneapolis, MN

2011-09-22T11:02:00.000-05:00

D.Rough called me up to do lunch, and I absolutely love it when she does this! She was in my neck of the woods, so we decided to do sushi. However, when we got to one of our favorite places, it was closed for lunch and not opening up until 3. We went down the street to Roat Osha – it’s a decent Thai place that I’ve had good luck at, in the past.

The inside of this place is pretty nice. Modern, clean lines, pretty decorations and sculptures. Don’t let that alarm you, though. They do have some pretty decent lunch specials, including a handful of appetizers (all of which are fried).

We got an order of Basil Shrimp Rolls to start with. They sounded delicious. D.Rough ordered the Egg Noodle Curry (after serious deliberation on about three things). And I got the Sweet Cashew Delight. We ordered both of our entrees a level three out of five for spice. Just to be safe.

The food takes a little longer than a “quick” lunch allows, but I didn’t stress about it. Not THAT much, anyway. The appetizer came out first. It looked really good. The rolls were fried crispy rice paper skins around a piece of shrimp and some Thai basil. Then it has three delicious dipping sauces for you – honey lime peanut sauce, a spicy sweet and sour sauce with sri racha on top, and a sweet garlic sauce. You grab the shrimp by the tail and dig into the sauces. They were all delicious. The fried rolls were greasier than we even expected, but the dipping sauce masked the grease flavor and made these things really quite good. We finished the Basil Shrimp Rolls off without any problems. And then we sat and argued over which sauce was better.

Then, the entrees came out. D.Rough’s Egg Noodle Curry arrived with all kinds of fried egg noodles on the top – hence the name. The egg noodles made the dish difficult to eat, so you really have to crush these things up with a spoon or fork until they’re more bite-sized. Flavor-wise, this was a really excellent curry. There wasn’t much heat (should have gone with a level-four), but the flavor and the vegetables were great. The great part about this dish is it comes with potatoes and yams – I’ve never had yams in Thai food before, but I’m a huge fan now. Excellent dish, once you break up the crispy parts so you can eat it.

The Sweet Cashew Delight was also much better than I expected it to be. It is a large platter of stir fried chicken with Thai chilies, basil, green beans, red peppers, onions, zucchini, all mixed in with a delicious spicy sweet curry. I picked out all the onions first, and dug into the chicken. Very high-quality meat that went really well with the spicy sweet curry (again, not spicy enough – I’m thinking you really need to start at level-four here). The vegetables were cooked well and not floppy. And once I was done with most of the food, I dumped the remainder of my rice onto the curry sauce-filled plate and soaked up all the flavor into the rice. That’s how you do it.

This was one of my better meals here. Great flavor, if you don’t mind the longer lunch wait. The place does good business at lunch, but it wasn’t packed or anything. This just isn’t a fast turnaround kind of place. Maybe I was more sensitive to it since we missed out on our sushi and I was headed back to Eden Prairie after lunch.

Top 5 things about Roat Osha
1. Sweet Cashew Delight (and not just because it sounds dirty)
2. Egg Noodle Curry
3. Shrimp Basil Rolls
4. The décor is really nice - honestly
5. Really nice server

Bottom 5 thing
1. A little slow for the lunch hour
2. Spice level seemed Minnesota-biased (meaning very mild)
3. All of the lunch special appetizers are fried – this might be an issue if you’re watching what you eat
4. I’m always too damn full after I eat here to go to Sebastian Joe’s Ice Cream shop on the way home!
5. The ass-clowns that drive in uptown during the lunch hours are going to kill someone. My blood pressure was sky high by the time I got to the parking lot

www.roatoshathai.com

Hot Wok – Edina, MN

2011-09-20T13:57:00.004-05:00

TheDoctor had just returned from his European travels, which means I needed to get caught up on his adventures. We decided to meet at Hot Wok to hash it out. He’d been here before, but I hadn’t, so I was looking forward to it.

The inside is much smaller than I anticipated - maybe like 10 tables. It’s Chinese food, cafeteria style, where you tell the person behind the counter what you’d like and they hand you a plate. I went with the sesame chicken and the hot and spicy pork. I also got an egg roll, since they suggested it. It would be rude not to. Hahahaha.

Since there was no waiting, we grabbed our seats and dug in. The egg roll wasn’t bad, it was just more greasy than some I’ve had. Not bad flavor though. I’d order one of these again, without question. The sesame chicken was good – about average. No real complaints, but the flavors weren’t all that strong nor vibrant. Just sort of middle of the road. The hot and spicy pork was much better. Not really all that hot nor spicy, but the flavor was better than I expected after the sesame chicken. The fried rice was fine, so not much to report there.

Overall, not a bad experience. Not one I’d rave about, either. I’ll likely be back, especially if TheDoctor invites me again (hint, hint). He’s irresistible.

www.hotwokedina.com

Mel-O-Glaze Bakery – Minneapolis, MN

2011-09-14T11:57:00.008-05:00

It was another disc golf morning where I woke up on time. Waking up on time means I have a shot at grabbing some donuts before I go meet the guys for an early morning round of embarrassment. I was headed across the Twin Cities and Mel-O-Glaze had been calling my name for weeks now. It was time.

I walked into the place and was impressed with the amount of goodies in the cases. There also seemed to be a lot of dads here this morning with their kids. I wonder if mom really knew where they were. Everything here looks fantastic, even the pastry type things that I don’t eat. It was a tough call, but I went with the old stand-by: a cinnamon twist and a chocolate raised donut. I also saw they had chocolate milk shake drinks in the drink cooler, so I picked up one of those, as well.

I headed out to the car to take some photos, wolf down these donuts, and make it to the course on time. The cinnamon twist was one of the best I’ve had. VERY glazed and extremely soft. This thing basically came untwisted while you were eating it. And the donuts were warm – this doesn’t seem like much, but it exponentially increases the flavor of these things. I’m not sure why and I don’t care to find out. The cinnamon flavor was excellent in this twist as well, not tons, but just the right amount to keep it out of the cinnamon roll realm and firmly in the donut arena. Fantastic.

The chocolate raised donut is more than that. It’s actually a glazed raised donut and then the chocolate is put on top of that. I’ve never had this before, but it was excellent. Again, the donut was soft and really moist. Very sugary – in fact, almost butting right up against the edge of too much sugar. I said ALMOST, people. Not over the line. Really quality chocolate glaze on the top of this thing. When I arrived at the course, I had to get out of the car to scrape all the donut glaze crumbs off my shirt and lap.

I am impressed. Mel-O-Glaze is one of the best donut shops in the Twin Cities, hands down. I’m very hard pressed to say it beats out Granny Donuts in West St. Paul, but it’s as close as I’ve found to Granny’s level of softness, glaze, and warm presentation. I will rave about this place to anyone who will listen to me on this one. I don’t necessarily see why one has to be better than another. I’m just happy I’ve got a place to go whether I’m only willing to drive 5 blocks (Granny), or if I’m driving to the western suburbs of Minneapolis (Mel-O-Glaze).

You should check them out, especially if you’re a single lady who wants to find a single guy who isn’t afraid to sugar up the kids. Hahahahaha. Sixela, I’m looking at you, here…

Five Guys Burgers and Fries – Edina, MN

2011-09-09T16:37:00.005-05:00

I got the message from Killsbury Doughboy that we were going to do lunch at Five Guys. He and a coworker of his are regulars here on Fridays, so I was happy to get the invite. If you haven’t been to Five Guys, do it – it’s where President Obama goes when he has burger cravings. In fact, the only Five Guys I have gone to was in Washington DC. I was really happy when they opened up a location here down the street from me.

The inside looks like a stripped down old fashioned diner. Lots of red and white checkerboard patterns. There are large boxes of peanuts available for snacking on while you’re waiting in line to order or even after you order while you’re waiting for your food to get called. So while I waited for the guys to join me, I had a little snack.

The menu is on a board above the area where you order. It’s a pretty straight forward menu. Burgers (little or regular) with cheese and/or bacon and hot dogs with cheese and/or bacon. They also have a grilled cheese sandwich, which I haven’t tried yet. Sides are fries – regular or Cajun. And fountain soda pop. That’s it – very simple and straight forward. You get to add any sides you can imagine on your burgers or hot dogs at no additional cost, so you can get pretty inventive.

I ordered a regular bacon cheese burger (regular means two beef patties) with lettuce, ketchup, jalapenos, and A-1 sauce. I skipped the fries since the other two guys usually order a large and split it amongst them – they offered to let me partake.

I headed to the waiting area and watched them make the burgers and fries and such. I realized why the last time I came here, I couldn’t finish the fries. When they make up a batch, they put the cup of fries into your bag, and then they literally dump ANOTHER cup of fries into the bag on top of it. That’s they’re schtick, I guess. The whole bag is filled with fries. So much so, that you can begin to see through the bag before you even make it to your table or out to your car. That means it’s going to be awesome. And you really don’t wait that long for your food to come up, which is nice.
I grabbed a handful of the Cajun fries and was really happy these guys were willing to share. These fries are really quite delicious. Yeah, they’re a little greasy, but that’s part of the awesome. It’s also part of what makes the Cajun seasoning stick. The flavor of the seasoning is top-notch.

The burger itself isn’t anything to trifle with. It’s a serious burger, especially with insane amounts of toppings on it. My burger was even tame compared to Killsbury – he’s basically got a meal as a topping on his burger. Well played, friend. Well played.
The flavor is quite good on these burgers. Even though the fries are greasy and delicious, the burgers aren’t greasy at all. They’re just quality meat patties cooked on a flat top and retain tons of flavor without dripping all over the place. Unless of course, your toppings tend to do that, then you’re on your own. The A-1 was the perfect amount to not overpower, and the jalapenos were the same proportion. Just a well put-together burger, eaten with hilarious gentlemen.

We compared some notes on bad movies and I’m hoping both of these guys will make it to the next bad movie night. I’ll see what I can round up for the October/November Halloween/Thanksgiving theme.

No top 5 for this place, as there aren’t enough option to pick apart. Suffice it to say the food here is delicious.

www.fiveguys.com

Ikea Cafeteria – Bloomington, MN (Bar-B-Quest 2011)

2011-09-08T14:54:00.011-05:00

HotGirlsBrother, Low-Vee, and I have joked about trying the ribs at Ikea for at least two years now – since we found out they serve ribs on Wednesdays at a ridiculously low price. This year, we put Ikea on the Bar-B-Quest roster in the Eastern Division (I know they’re not on the East side of the Twin Cities, but we fudged the border a little bit). We decided to meet there for lunch and get this one out of the way. None of us had very high expectations for this place. It’s a Swedish furniture store, after all. What do they know about ribs?

As we walked in HotGirlsBrother said, “If these things are actual meat and not just McRibs, I’ll be impressed.”

We headed to the cafeteria and got in line. If you haven’t been to Ikea for any sort of dining experience, you might be surprised by it. The food is served cafeteria-style with trays and a sort of buffet line with prices indicating how much things are. The people behind the counters serve you (prison-style, as I like to say) most of your entrees/meats and sides and then you can pick up smaller sides here and there along the way to the cash register. While standing in line, we did see a half rack of ribs roll by us and it honestly looked like actual meat. It remained to be eaten, however.

When we got the lunch lady, I ordered up my half slab of ribs and she threw a pretty large portion of ribs on to my plate and then covered it with steamy brown BBQ sauce. Then she threw on some fries and told me the cornbread was just at the next station. So far, so good, on this trip. Sadly, I also ordered a side of Swedish Meatballs covered in gravy, since that’s what you do at Ikea. I love those things.

The whole bill for me came up to just over $10, and the other two paid almost $8 for theirs. That’s seriously cheap for ribs, no matter where you go.

We sat down and tested out the fries. The fries were actually quite good. Very crispy with a sort of breading on them, rather than just tasting fried. They were really good. The cornbread was next – and I’m a huge fan of cornbread. This square of cornbread was extremely moist and extremely sweet. But sadly, there wasn’t any corn flavor at all. It was simply cake – delicious cake, mind you, but still cake. Kind of a disappointment. That being said, Low-Vee thought it was one of the most delicious cakes she has ever eaten and is seriously contemplating having Ikea make her wedding cake (despite the fact she’s not dating anyone right now).

I devoured the Swedish Meatballs covered in their delicious gravy. I will always like these things. They are delicious and always seem to be made with quality meat when I’ve gotten them at Ikea. There isn’t much to them, but thankfully, I didn’t eat my usual three dozen that sometimes happens when I’m having a sadface day. hahahahaha

We all swooped into the ribs next. The first bite proved that it was actual meat on these bones. While not amazingly tender, the meat had a decent consistency. It took some effort to get all the meat off the bone, so it wasn’t falling off onto the plate or anything, but at least it wasn’t fighting back. The quality of meat was tolerable. Not the best cut or maybe not the best pig, but it was worth continuing – we DID discuss the possibility of paying for our meals and heading directly to the trash can – thankfully, we didn’t have to do that. The sauce wasn’t the greatest, to be honest. It was kind of a watery brown sauce that HotGirlsBrother said “is something you’d find on cheap Chinese food”. We even tried to spice it up with some Frank’s Red Hot sauce, but it didn’t help the flavor that much – it just tasted like ribs dipped in buffalo wing sauce. The lunch lady had loaded it on the ribs, which is normally a great strategy, however, it was VERY sticky. Like in the scene in Christmas Vacation when Clark Griswold gets sap on his hands and sticks to everything – it’s kind of like that. Even after you wiped off your hands on a napkin, pieces of the napkin stick to your hands and you never actually feel like you’ve cleaned your hands off… which leads me to the next point: no wet-naps to be found. This is completely a deal breaker for Low-Vee, and was exponentially compounded due to the stickiness factor of the sauce.

“Not horrible!”

“Surprisingly edible!”

“Much less scary than I thought it would be!”

“It really wasn’t that bad!”

“We ate it, and we’re still alive!”

These are some direct quotes from HotGirlsBrother and Low-Vee from the meal. I’ve decided to go ahead and help out the advertising department at Ikea and try to help them with their BBQ Rib marketing campaign. I think this will help:

Overall, the Swedish (through the mechanism of Ikea) put together a nice homage to what Americans know as ribs. They also make a delicious cornbread-colored cake. The ribs are just about what you’d expect if someone told you Ikea was making ribs for lunch or dinner. It really isn’t bad, especially considering the difference between our EXPECTATIONS and the reality of what we ate. If you’re ever at Ikea on a Wednesday, at least consider having the ribs. You won’t find a cheaper price and it sure beats walking to the Mall of America and fending for your life in traffic to eat at Famous Dave’s or Tony Roma’s. It’s the best price in town, especially for something that is entirely rib-flavored and edible. Also keep in mind that, despite the ad saying they only serve the ribs after 4, this isn't the case. They start serving them at 11am - I called to verify that before we met there.

Mission accomplished:

Sadly, Ikea lost the head-to-head battle with C.G. Hooks Eatery, but it still impressed us with a good showing. And we’ve already discussed how we need a rematch between C.G. Hooks and Lee’s & Dee’s to determine who really is the winner. It’s going to be a close match-up, and one rematch that I’m very much looking forward to. Here are the current results of Bar-B-Quest 2011!!!!

Top 5 things about Ikea Ribs
1. The price – amazingly inexpensive
2. The difference between your expectation and reality almost allowed it to win the category. Almost.
3. The fries were quite good
4. Moist-iosity and sweet-itude of the cornbread-colored cake
5. They have Dew!!!

Bottom 5 things
1. BBQ sauce
2. Lack of wet-naps
3. Cornbread had zero corn flavor
4. Still had to work to get all the meat off these ribs
5. I wish I had taken the food into the dining room furniture sales floor to have a high-brow meal

www.ikea.com

aka: Rib Quest 2011

Experimental Food Night #3901 – Minneapolis, MN

2011-08-31T10:06:00.002-05:00

It’s been a while since I was able to attend Experimental Food Night at Trash and M. Giant’s house. For those unfamiliar, this is where Trash finds the most horrific thing she can muster out of a recipe (she’s vegetarian) and then makes it for M.Giant and I. It inevitably turns out delicious, since she’s a vegetarian and clearly abhors flavor while cooking for herself.

Trash called me while I was at work and asked what I was in the mood for for experimental food night. I immediately blurted out “chicken and sweet potatoes”. She cracked up at my super-quick-fire response and then set out to scour the internet in search of something she’d not ever eat. M.Giant and I got messages a short while later announcing it would be Latin Chicken. We didn’t have a clue what that would end up tasting like, but it had chicken, sweet potatoes, and black beans in it.

I showed up at their place and she immediately began complaining about the smell in the house coming from the crock put full of chicken, sweet potatoes, and black beans. But to M.Giant and myself, it smelled delicious. She had made rice (because that’s the most Latin of the starches), so I got a big scoop of rice and then Trash piled a few large scoops of crock-pot-enhanced brown and orange slop onto the plate. Still, it smelled delicious.
And it WAS delicious!!!! She managed to do it again. She made an amazing dinner while constantly vocalizing her objection to making such things. I am convinced that if she ever made something she was proud to serve to us, it would taste like air and maybe sticks (also garlic, since she loves garlic). It’s best, for M.Giant and I’s sake, that we insist on food that makes her shiver when she smells, touches, or even thinks about it.

And look, I even had a bowl of salad to maintain my girlish figure.

I’m very much looking forward to the next experimental food night. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to chime in. We prefer minimal work, and tend to favor crock pot or one-dish recipes, but we’re pretty open to various things (even if we have to work around M.Giant and I’s odd ingredient restrictions).

C.G. Hooks Eatery – White Bear Lake, MN

2011-08-30T10:20:00.009-05:00

Please note, we are changing the name of Rib Quest 2011 to Bar-B-Quest 2011. So please don’t be confused by our nomenclature (yeah, nomenclature – I said it).

Bar-B-Quest 2011 Eastern Conference contender C.G. Hooks Eatery was where HotGirlsBrother and I needed to go. We decided to meet at C.G. Hooks on a Sunday since it’s waaaay too far for us to drive on our lunch break, and too far for a casual drive across town during the week. You need time to relax and leisurely drive yourself up to White Bear Lake for something like this. And of course, you’ll get to drive through Gem Lake, MN – population 441 – which is a bonus, I feel. We apparently reminded Low-Vee at too late an hour, since she freaked out when she realized she forgot we had planned on doing it this evening.

The first thing I’ll say is that this place is pretty easy to find, but terribly difficult to ACTUALLY find. You can see C.G. Hooks, but you get caught up in this maze of one-way roads and keep driving past it. In fact, HotGirlsBrother drove by the place twice and ended up driving the wrong way down the one way to get to the parking lot of this place. Hilarious.

The second thing I’ll say about this place is we were both irritated about the convoluted roads trying to get here and the GPS issues and all that. It put us in a slightly foul mood. In all honesty, we were hoping this place was going to be terrible so we’d never have to drive out here again. It wasn’t a good start and we hadn’t made it in the door yet.

Once inside, the girl at the counter asked us if we were there for ice cream or to eat? Odd question, but with all the ice cream cases at the counter, I guess it made sense now. We said we were eating. Next question: are you taking it with you, or eating it here? Eating it here. Next question: are you eating inside or outside? Inside. Are you eating it here, or over at Tally’s? Here. We think these girls are used to this line of questioning since they all remained super chipper (without being annoying) during the process. I’m assuming this happens a lot.

We grabbed a seat at one of the tables and scanned the menu she had given us. We usually get a half slab and some sides for each of us, but we noticed there was a “Sweetheart Special” which was a full slab and four sides for slightly less than two individual half slabs. Plus it sounded romantic - hahahaha. HotGirlsBrother was also excited he could drink an IPA while eating his ribs. His excitement level increased exponentially when they brought him an Odell’s IPA. Bonus for him. Also very amusing, since the girl ran across the street to the bar and had grabbed him a beer from there. Also, bonus for me, since they have 1919 Root Beer (and I clearly hadn’t had enough at the Minnesota State Fair).

The inside of the place is very oddly decorated. Almost like a former Jimmy Buffet fan had emptied out his garage. Some wooden deck chairs, a bar made out of a surfboard, lots of bright colors. There are also pictures of the owner’s kids, Gavin and Connar, on various things and a sign that says “Gavin & Connar’s Surf Shack”, so I’m thinking the confusing branding issue with the multiple locations is a little disconcerting for a first timer. We weren’t even sure we were in the right restaurant for part of the time. You’ll see the world’s skinniest Coca Cola refrigerator in the corner of the restaurant (it’s like a foot and a half wide), and then right next to it is a Coca Cola refrigerator missing one door and holding all of the tiny bottles of Barefoot wine (this may also double as an air conditioner when it gets warm outside). On top of all this is the VERY generous use of the word “Spagnanamous”. You’ll see what we’re talking about when you go there.

Look at me, I’m rambling and we haven’t even gotten our food yet. Sorry. I’m just trying to set the stage.

The place had a heavy stream of people coming in and picking up orders or standing around waiting to pick up orders. Some people seemed new and confused like we were, but the girls behind the counter made sure everyone was taken care of. VERY good customer service from these ladies. We actually didn’t wait too long to get our food, which was nice, since we were starving.

The girl had gotten our order mixed up with a to-go order, so she apologized when she brought our bag of food over to us. She immediately went back and grabbed forks and knives and some dishes for us to put our food in. She again apologized and we told her it wasn’t a problem at all. We would be just fine eating it like this.

It looked pretty good. The ribs weren’t cut into individual pieces, but we weren’t at all worried about that. HotGirlsBrother and I share very well. The ribs are a dry rub, so they bring out a small bucket of sauce if you need it. The other sides seemed a little small, but not enough to think we got ripped off.

Both HotGirlsBrother and I had commented how we were hoping it wasn’t going to be good so we didn’t have to trek al the way out here again. But when he took the first bite of the beans, I heard “Uh, oh.” He meant it in a good way, since these beans were really good. Amazingly good, in fact. Sadly, these were the best baked beans we’ve had since we started this challenge. They had all kinds of different sized and kinds of beans in there, as well. Giant beans and regular baked beans. Plus the sauce they were in was fantastic. They were awesome.

The coleslaw was the next one down. HotGirlsBrother is more of a coleslaw critic than I am, and he said the first bite was a little dry. He likes his saucy. I tried a bit and agreed with him, especially when we said the slaw was a tiny bit bland. Maybe could have used more vinegar or something. Once we got to the bottom of the small dish, there was more sauciness and more flavor, but the first few bites didn’t impress.

We were bummed to find out the place only has one BBQ sauce for the ribs. The website had us looking forward to four different crazy flavored sauces which had gotten great reviews. Super bummer. But thankfully, the sauce they brought us was really good. I always try the dry rub ribs without sauce at first to make sure the meat is good quality and tastes good. This was delicious. The meat had a good char on the outside, but was really tender on the inside and fell right off the bone. Great smoke flavor and good texture to the meat. Just a tiny bit of cartilage on a couple pieces and not much fat. Really good quality ribs. When coupled with the sauce, it was pretty amazing. Both HotGirlsBrother and I were pretty impressed – also mad because now we want to come back here with Low-Vee, just so she can try them. This place is actually VERY worth the drive out to White Bear Lake.

I had forgotten about the cornbread we ordered as a side. The menu said it was a “fishy” cornbread and I had no idea what that meant. I was also dreading it, since I'm not a huge fan of fish (aside from sushi). Once I opened up the aluminum foil the cornbread was wrapped in, I realized what they had meant. It’s SHAPED like a fish. Wurd.Oh, and by the way, it’s the best cornbread we’ve had since the challenge started, as well. Really sweet with some sugar crystallization and very moist. Fantastic cornbread and I’m glad HotGirlsBrother doesn’t eat cornbread, so I got most of it!

While we were finishing up our meal, the server girl came over to make sure everything was ok. We told her we are trying to find the best ribs in the twin Cities and this place just ranked REALLY well. In fact, we had just been cursing this place and complaining about how awesome our meal was and that now we’d have to come out here a bunch. Then a couple of tables who had overheard us say that struck up conversations with us. SUPER awesome people (regulars) eating here tonight and telling us all about this place. Tanya and her family (Tanya has already e-mailed me to tell me the open faced pulled sandwich is fantastic!) told us the place had recently expanded to include the dining room, where before you’d have to take it to go. And on Wednesdays, you can listen to live music across the street at Tally’s Dockside and they serve the ribs right there on the dock for you. That sounds AMAZING. I guess the guy had just recently gotten a liquor license to sell beer and wine, which was awesome for us, but they also told us he had to add a urinal in the restroom to be up to code enough to get the liquor license. I think it was worth it, but I know that kind of plumbing can be expensive. So if you go there, please drink a lot and make it worth his while.

The regulars told us about the photos with the owner’s kids and that’s how some of the decorations got in there. Another table told us all about the sauces they used to have and how bummed he was that they were gone. When we asked the server girls about the sauces, they said the cook had left and the owner decided not to continue the sauces. I think it’s a bummer, but totally understandable, especially if the sauces were that guy’s recipe or something. Thankfully, he picked a good sauce to stick with, so I won’t complain THAT much about it. We were very happy with it.

The regulars also told us this place needs lots of customers in the winter to keep it open. It sounds (and looks) like this place does great business in the summer (which we saw form the heavy traffic flow), but I think we’ll have to round up a ton of people to come out and eat here regularly in the winter months.

The ice cream portion of the building has some fun flavors (I stopped looking when I saw they had cookie dough ice cream), so make sure you get that, especially if you have room for a 1919 root beer float.

Well, HotGirlsBrother and I totally didn’t expect this place to be a contender, but based on this particular showing, it is going to do VERY well in this Bar-B-Quest Challenge. We were thrilled with it and are looking forward to coming back here. I also realize that D.Rough’s family lives very near this place, so I think we’ll have to ramp up our visits to their various homes.

Top 5 things about C.G. Hooks Eatery
1. Baked Beans
2. Corn Bread
3. Fantastic Ribs and sauces
4. Amazing people working there, and also dining there
5. 1919 Root Beer (for me). Odell’s IPA for HotGirlsBrother.

Bottom 5 things
1. The convoluted road trying to get to the place
2. I don’t think sitting at the end of the surfboard where it’s leaning pretty heavily would be the most comfortable seat in the house – just a hunch I have
3. Still a tiny bit bummed about the adventurous sauces (Still posted on their website) not being available
4. This place isn’t near the Twin Cities proper. But it’s worth it!
5. The inside is oddly decorated, but you warm up to it after a bit.

www.cghooks.com

Rib Quest 2011

2011 Minnesota State Fair - St. Paul, MN

2011-08-28T12:16:00.075-05:00

Here's a (not-so-)quick recap of my time at the Minnesota State Fair this year. I try not to go too overboard with the reviews, so if you need more details, just leave a comment. And yes, I do tend to go overboard on the food and drinks at the State Fair every year - just a warning...

I started the week by figuring out what places I wanted to try, as well as their locations, just to make things a little easier for me. The website for the State Fair has an awesome Food Finder application (which can also be downloaded) that really helped find some unique items this year. I was on my own for the morning, so I'd do most of my eating then and then D.Rough and I would head out as a team and see what else I hadn't eaten.
Here's what the State Fair looks like at 9am, just in case you're wondering. Yeah, it's a little busy, but the lines and crowds are still manageable. That will change soon.

I started with a Breakfast Lollypop from Axel's - Southeast corner of the food building - on the outside of the building. It's basically a sausage patty battered and deep fried and has some maple syrup on it for sweetness. This thing had good meat flavor, but the grease was amazingly overpowering, especially first thing. Thankfully, I washed it down with the first of many 1919 Root Beers - the best root beer at the State Fair.

It was time for a Breakfast Stromboli from American Stromboli in the Food Building. It's chopped up hard-boiled eggs, shredded cheese and a slice of american cheese, and your choice of ham or sausage wrapped in a pizza crust and baked. I got to watch them make the strombolis while I was standing in line, so it's nice to see them make the things here. This pastry was just about perfect for breakfast, especially since they let you order just a half a stromboli so you still have room for other foods. Very good flavor and not greasy, so it left plenty of room for gorging.

Here, we see a VERY uptight guy smoking a cigarette. He sat like this for at least three cigarettes. Very formal smoker, I guess. I sadly, didn't get a photo of the Menonite missionary woman drinking out of a Camelpack - so hilarious.

I headed to the International Bazaar to find some stuffed grape leaves from Holy Land Deli. I'm a huge fan of Holy Land since I started going to the Midtown Global Market years ago. They always have delicious food. I asked what the grape leaves were stuffed with and the guy at the counter couldn't remember. I ordered them anyway. I was a little bummed they were served cold, but mostly because it made the rice in side a little gummy and unappetizing. NOT my favorite thing at the fair, despite being on a stick.

I went back to the food building to get a Puff Daddy on a Stick (I know, he's only going by Diddy these days, but whatever) from Sausage Sisters and Me. It's a thai sausage link wrapped in a puff pastry dough and comes with some thai peanut dipping sauce. I brought some of this back to D.Rough to sample and she really liked it. The sausage had really good flavor and actually might have been better without the dipping sauce. The pastry was really light and flaky, so this thing is worth a look/taste.

Oh wait, and another 1919 Root Beer.

I headed down the block to Andre's Watermelon to get come chocolate covered watermelon on a stick, but then when I saw he had pineapple, I changed my mind to that. Everyone has a favorite fruit - mine just happens to be chocolate-covered pineapple. It's a little sloppy to eat, but it's delicious.
To make up for the missing watermelon in my diet, I got a watermelon lemonade from Andre, as well. Excellent choice - it was fantastic.
Since moving to Minnesota, I've discovered that Hot Dago is not a racial slur, but rather a tasty Italian sandwich. Luigi's has a Hot Dago on a stick that I needed to try, so I headed there and picked on up. It's basically a breadstick followed by a meatball (repeat) and then cover the whole thing with mozzarella and then bake it all. Served with hot peppers and a marinara sauce for dipping. Holy crap this thing was amazing. One of the best things at the fair in my opinion. Absolutely delicious.
I washed this bad boy down with a Kiwi Strawberry Crystal Light (watching my figure, you know).
As an added bonus, right across the street from Luigi's is Big Fat Bacon on a stick. I loved this place last year. It's very simple - it's a really thick-cut piece of bacon is deep fried and it's put on a stick. Then, you have the option of putting on this orange-chipotle glaze on it (if you want). I'd recommend it, since it's really an amazing combination. I'm not as impressed with the piece of bacon I had this year, over last year's, but it was still pretty darn good. It's simple and filling, and the glaze is really a unique flavor. Worth it.
I headed back to find D.Rough, but not before stopping by 1919 one more time for a root beer float. So freaking good.
This is how I roll (after going to visit the fire prevention area...
With D.Rough in tow, we headed to Mouth Trap to buy the best curds at the State Fair (according to D.Rough's tastebuds). I have to admit, these things are some of the best curds I've ever had. A little bit salty, but so worth it - once these things cool down. They're like molten lava right out of the fryer. Top notch.
Then, we went to watch the robot competition/demonstration at the Education Building. High school students build robots to complete certain tasks and then try to score the most points to win the competition. They have to do things like place inflatable rings on a wall, stack the same inflatable rings in a pile, and jettison smaller mini-robots to do their bidding (seriously).
I think we were standing a little too close, since D.Rough got a little nervous when the robots rolled over to us and began stacking rings less than 6 inches from us. Yikes.
We wanted to check out some more entertainment, so we headed over to the Flippenout Extreme Trampoline show (Trash will be thrilled we did that). It was a million degrees out, so we grabbed a Lemonade Shake-up.
On the way, we stopped by the large plot of land where they basically have a huge karaoke area with like 30-40 microphones set up for people to sing into. On the giant LED screen, they show all the words to like 50 super popular songs. I know this sounds really white trash, but it's really fun and people are REALLY into it. So each song gets like 200 people singing along. It's great fun!!! We busted out some Lady Gaga while we were there.

We watched the extreme trampoline guys jump really high in the air - I mean REALLY high. They're Olympic hopefuls for the 2012 Olympics. And yes, there IS a trampoline event in the Olympics.

We leave the trampoline show and headed to the animal/pet barn. I love this place, but I don't think D.Rough has spent a lot of time in here. I had to explain a little bit about what's going on (animal surgery center, dog breeders area, etc). We popped by to pet some of the puppies, which are mostly cute. We were also amazed at how creative (aka insane) people get about their dog treats.

And now you see how crowded the State Fair gets during the afternoon. It's pretty serious.
We also saw a sad banana taking a rest since it was a thousand degrees out.
D.Rough is a big fan of the deep fried pickles from the Preferred Pickle (over west of the grandstand). They have cajun flavor, original, and ones with cream cheese in them. They're pretty good, even though I'm not a huge fan of pickles. But, let's be honest, if you deep fried anything, I'd probably eat it. These are pretty good, though she did eat more of these than I did.
It was dessert time and we had been hearing about this sweet corn ice cream over at Blue Moon Dine In Theater. It was unique enough we thought we'd better try it. They have three different toppings you can put on it, but we went with the obvious choice - Honey Butter Bacon. This sounds odd, but I can assure you, it was amazing. Great ice cream flavor with the buttery taste of corn - it even included bits of roasted corn kernels in it. Brilliant. The sauce was much runnier than I expected, but had a great flavor. It's sweet, but not sickeningly so - and the bacon pieces were quite wonderful in there. We got to eat our dessert in the theater behind the restaurant, where they were showing Minnesota-produced films on the big screen. It's a quaint little place with old bench seats out of vans to provide the seating. Super fun.

We went to the arena to check out the tail end of the cattle show. (get it? Tail end? Nevermind.) Then we watched the first couple rounds of the equestrian competition with the horses jumping the obstacles and such. Pretty fun, to be honest. Plus, how often do you get to yell all crazy for horses (unless you're a rodeo person, of course). Maybe chest paint is in order one of these days...

It was dessert time again (for me), so I headed to Moe and Joe's Coffee (near the water rapids ride) to get a Yankee Apple Pie Chocolate Sandwich. I know it sounds horrific, but it honestly was one of the best things I had all day. I'm not a huge pie fan, mainly because I don't really like the crust. However, if you put an apple pie on a couple slices of buttery toasted bread, I'm going to love it. Which I did. The chocolate spread on the bread isn't very strong, but adds some unique sweetness. Just get this thing. It's great.
And, of course, I needed another (large, this time) 1919 root beer.
I needed to have something healthy, since most of what I had today wouldn't be approved by my doctor. I found the Vegie Fries booth and grabbed a Veg Wedge. It's a bunch of chopped-up vegetables folded into a won ton skin and deep fried. See, I told you it was healthy. hahahaha. And it was pretty good. there was a lot of shell, compared to the amount of vegetables, but it was still good. This thing was almost identical to the egg-roll-on-a-stick that I was about to get, so I didn't even bother getting it. Sad, but true.

The night was winding down for us, so we decided to have a wind-down snack of our own - Garlic Fries from the Ball Park Cafe... followed up with a beer for some people and a bottle of water for me. The fries are obviously garlic-y with the amount of garlic they throw on the top of these things. They were actually quite good. I will say, the amount of garlic pales in comparison to the amount of garlic they put on the fries at the Seattle Mariner's stadium, but they were still really quite good.

I thought we were going to get out of the fair at this point, but we got sidelined by the fireworks.
And then by the cotton candy...
Time to hit the express bus home!

Overall, the entire day was wonderful. Great food and tons of people watching, and a blast with my lady. Nothing to complain about at all. And to be honest, I didn't even feel full, let alone sick. I probably could have done a few more things, but I kept it civil this year. I was surprised at the lack of really horrific foods this year, but maybe next year will be better. I'm already looking forward to it!!

Top 5 things about the Minnesota State Fair
1. Yankee Apple Pie Chocolate Sndwich
2. Hot Dago on a Stick
3. Sweet Corn Ice Cream with Honey Butter Bacon Topping
4. Mouth Trap Cheese Curds
5. 1919 Root Beer (especially in float form)

Bottom 5 things
1. Stuffed Grape Leaves
2. Breakfast Lollypops
3. Lack of more horrific foods than in previous years
4. Lack of more cute puppies in the animal barn than previous years
5. I totally missed the lumberjack show!!!

www.mnstatefair.org