Hi-Fi Café – Milwaukee, WI

I knew about the HiFi Café in the Bayview area of Milwaukee for a couple of years because FunHater’s girlfriend Tank was a co-owner of the small coffee shop. I knew the HiFi had breakfast as well (not sure what time that stops, but I knew they had breakfast). And it was a safe bet there were vegetarian options since Tank is a veggie, herself. We headed over to the HiFi to check things out. (Note we forgot Wisconsin hasn’t gone to non-smoking establishments yet, so this place can sometimes be a little smoky. It wasn’t too bad this time around, thankfully.)

The counter girl took our order and told us she’d bring out our stuff when it was ready. I got a three-egg ham and cheese omelet (since 2010 is the “Year of Three”) (dang, I should have gotten three insides too!) with some wheat toast, and yeah, a milk – what about it? It does the body good. I can’t remember for the life of me what Callous-un got. It’s a safe bet it didn’t have meat, though.


The omelet was really good, much better than our previous breakfast at the Comet Café, thankfully. Real cheese (it IS Wisconsin, after all) on the thing and plenty of ham. I was really happy with this omelet and it filled me right up. Which was a bad thing, since we knew today was going to be a significant eating adventure. We were running out of time and still had multiple restaurants on Callous-un’s iron-clad agenda.

I’ll skip the top 5 list on this one, but it’s a fun little coffee shop (although a little slow the morning we went…)

Tenuta’s – Milwaukee, WI (Bayview)

Callous-un and I wanted to go someplace nice to eat for NYE, but not so nice that we went broke eating there. We scouted the Internet to see what we could find as far as decent Italian food. Tenuta’s kept popping up and had really good reviews, so we booked a reservation there late.

When we got there, a guy greeted us at the door and asked us if we had reservations, he found our name on the list at the host stand and then started laughing. He was just a random waiting for his coat, didn’t work there at all. He was hilarious when he told us it would be a short wait for our table.

We were amused by the real hostess when she finally talked to us about 5 minutes after we came through the door. She was wearing an extremely tight and extremely short leopard print shiny mini skirt and 5 inch stiletto heels. She was actually hobbling in stiletto heels and was clearly in pain and complaining about her feet to people at the bar. She could have VERY easily passed for a girl on Rock of Love or that show with the Sluts on a Bus. I’m not saying she didn’t have nice hair or a nice figure, but she reminded me of the people on Jersey Shore who complain about working 3 hours a week because they’re such high maintenance trixies. This girl was NOT friendly nor even borderline nice.

While we waited for our table, we grabbed a bottle of wine at the bar. A nice Zinfandel for dinner. I also saw they had Balvenie Doublewood 12y, so I got a glass of scotch as well. I love that stuff. The bartender that helped us was very willing to let us try a couple different wines until we found one we liked. It only took us two bottles, so I think that’s good. We were amused by the guys at the bar (including Mr. Tenuta himself) that were playing dice. That’s seriously old school. Additionally, there was a guy there who looked like he was made of plastic, including his hair, and trying to play dice with the big boys. Like Callous-un says, “If you can’t have those chincy chianti bottles with candles at your table, then you’d better have Italians playing dice somewhere.” Truer words was never spoked.

Our server was quite awesome and a normal person, so we had a good time with her. I feel empathy for people working on NYE when they’d rather be out drinking with friends. I feel fortunate this year to have lost my job and can actually enjoy the holiday. She brought us a basket of really delicious bread and we got to fill our plates with olive oil and their homemade balsamic vinegar. We might have put butter on our bread, but we saw that it was kept next to the front door in a plastic to-go container (just thought it was really odd place for it) and we didn’t ask for it. We checked out the menu and came up with some ideas for our dinners.

I decided on the Strauss Veal Chop with truffle-infused mashed potatoes and sautéed vegetables. And a Caesar Salad to start with. Callousun went with the Gnocchi alla Funghi with a regular salad to start. The hostess headed back to the kitchen to coerce the staff into making our food and I untangled my hair from the garland on the wall that I had gotten too close to. I’m an idiot.

The salads came out quickly and were just ho-hum salads. Nothing flashy here. They were good, just not anything you wouldn’t find at any other Italian place. We scoured the room for people to mock (that’s what we do) and found some winners. Of note, was a table of two couples. A super drunk Italian guy with his shirt unbuttoned to his stomach with his pretty smoking hot wife (we checked to see if they had rings – I guess it doesn’t mean they’re married to each other, just married – you never know). The guy didn’t look at her once. He only looked at and spoke with the guy across from him while he cackled like a witch (one of the most painful laughs ever to come out of a man’s face). The other couple talked loudly about trannies, which we thought was hysterical. Then the wife of the other guy went to the restroom at least 6 times that we noticed – geesh, I wonder what she was doing in there – we could only guess. There was also a random guy with his wife at another table who had super awesome sideburns/chops. Kudos to that guy – I notice these things.

The food came out and we were starving. It wasn’t that long of a wait, but we were already well into the bottle of wine and hadn’t eaten in a while. It was pretty dark in there, but I took a photo with the flash anyway, so you could see how awesome it was.

The veal chop was one of the best I’ve ever had. I’m a big fan of veal in most formats, but a simple chop cooked perfectly is one of the best. Every bite was great and there was simply no fat on the cut. The truffle-infused mashed potatoes were really excellent as were the vegetables (squash and wintery vegetables). I would get this again here. Callous-un’s Gnocchi was above average. She didn’t rave about it, but I thought it was pretty good. They were little potato dumplings in a mushroom cream sauce. I polished off her plate when she got full, so I was really stuffed.

The server brought out complimentary champagne for us after we were finished with our meal and the champagne was the sweetest either of us had ever tasted. I’m not a huge champagne fan, but this sweet stuff was like candy. WURD.

After we were finished and waiting for the check, a guy came out of the kitchen with this hilariously awesome Hawaiian shirt on. People in the place (including customers) were making comments to him about it. He took it all in stride and proudly wore the thing. It was awesome.

Overall, this was a really excellent meal and a fun time. The staff (minus the hostess) were all really friendly and helpful. It’s kind of in a residential area, so you’ll have to look for this place, but it’s well worth going to and won’t break the bank.

Top 5 things about Tenuta’s
1. Strauss Veal Chop
2. Gnocchi alla Funghi
3. Homemade bread and balsamic vinegar
4. Super sweet complimentary champagne
5. Really awesome staff

Bottom 5 things
1. The hostess (though she ranked high for comedy factor)
2. We never got butter, but could plainly see piles of it next to the door
3. Carnivorous garland on the wall
4. Plastic man trying to be a high roller
5. The salads were ho-hum, but I hesitate to even put it on the list (they’re weren’t bad or anything)

www.tenutasitalian.com

Comet Café – Milwaukee, WI

I’d been to a pretty awesome breakfast place in Milwaukee with FunHater and Chicken Little and Rat City Roller Girls – the Comet Café. It’s kind of a punk rock diner that caters to vegetarians and such. With Callous-un’s love of things without parents, I tried to make things easier for her by picking places she could eat.

We waited a bit for a table and checked out the variety of people. Families with kids, tattooed and pierced folk, hipsters, and people with giant beards. We checked out the small breakfast menu and decided on a couple things. I went with the Bacon Pancakes. Callous-un thought the Breakfast Burrito sounded good. The waitress told her they had just run out of ranchero sauce, but they could just throw on some extra pico de gallo (vegetarian cat-nip).

We waited a bit for our food and were simply whelmed when we saw it. Not overwhelmed, not underwhelmed. The pancakes were large, but it was hard to see the bacon in the two large pancakes and the breakfast burrito actually looked like it was missing the ranchero sauce. Visibly missing something with color.


The pancakes were decent. The bacon pieces were hidden on the bottom of the pancakes and I wish there had been more pieces. The flavor was good, but I’ve never been a huge fan of eating a monstrous stack of puffy bread with syrup. I actually got bored eating about halfway through.

The breakfast burrito did have extra pico de gallo (which means extra onion) on it. It had a lot of onions at the end that Callous-un started, but when I ate a few bites from the other end, it was full of cheese and no onions at all. I was happy with my end of the burrito (twss). Sadly, Callous-un was less than impressed with this breakfast. I was really surprised this meal wasn’t as good as it has been previous times. On a positive note, the hashbrowns were really quite good.

My previous trips to the Comet Café were good, so I’m hesitant to steer people away from this place. So I’ll suggest you give it a shot and see if you’ve been as happy as I have been the PREVIOUS times.

Top 5 things about Comet Café
1. Hashbrowns
2. Waitress was super helpful and perky
3. Bacon makes everything better
4. This place is non-smoking – wurd
5. Previous experience at this restaurant mandates I put this in the positive section of the list…

Bottom 5 things
1. Small breakfast menu
2. Breakfast Burrito without ranchero sauce
3. Bacon pancakes should have more bacon
4. Non-uniform burrito filling is a little misleading
5. I think I may have ruined Callous-un on the Comet Café. Bummer

www.thecometcafe.com

Café Manna – Brookfield, WI

Callous-un had been talking about this vegetarian restaurant for a while, so I curtailed my carnivorous hankerin and we headed to Café Manna to eat some sticks and grass. Hahahaha. I joke.

The hostess that seated us was way out of control happy and chatty. Not in a bad way, just in a super noticeable way. It made me feel like the rest of us were at a wake or something. She was THAT happy. She walked us through the bamboo-floored room, past the non-toxic paint and foyer partitions of recycled plastic, to our bamboo table. The server came over and asked what we’d like to drink: Organic Pinot Grigio for both of us. When the server brought over the wine, she also brought pita chips and Baba Ghanouj. I haven’t had a lot of Baba Ganouj before, but this was a delicious appetizer. Very smooth dip to start our meal out.

I was surprised at the number of items on the menu of this vegetarian place. I expected various combinations of sticks and grass, nuts and berries, and joy-less tofu crumbles, but the menu contained a whole bunch of appetizers, soups, salads, entrees, sandwiches, and desserts. I actually had to decide between a handful of dishes. I finally decided on the Spiced Tempeh and Glazed Soba Noodles. Callous-un opted for the Peace Bowl with Curried Cashew Crunch. Both of our dishes were vegan, according to the menu, so my vegan friends can shut their non-dairy pie-holes now.

The food came out rather quickly, I’m guessing because there was a severe lack of meat that needed to be heated to e.coli-killing temperature. The food looked beautiful on the plates. My Tempeh was one of the best vegetarian dishes I’ve ever eaten, and probably one of the only vegan dishes I’ve ever eaten. It’s pan-sautéed cumin and ginger spiced with buckwheat noodles, asparagus, sugar snap peas, and stir-fried veggies in a sesame tamarind-sake glaze. Seriously, this was delicious. The noodles were firm and tasty and the tempeh was perfectly cooked and not soggy.

Callous-un was less pleased with her meal, the Peace Bowl with Curried Cashew Crunch. Her meal looked like some sort of landscape from Egypt. It had two pyramids surrounded by a delicious-looking curry. One pyramid was made of basmati rice and the other was made of quinoa (it’s like bigger couscous). The coconut curry was filled with a variety of vegetables and topped with a “curried cashew crunch” – still not sure what that was. Callous-un took issue with the vegetables mostly – they weren’t cooked enough for her taste. She expected a bit more smoosh and a bit less crunch. The handful of bites I had were quite good and I liked the crunch, but Callous-un is a veteran vegetarian food consumer and knows better than I. So I guess the moral of this story is if you’re a vegetarian you might not like it, but if you’re an incognito carnivore, you might like this.

The hostess talked Callous-un into getting dessert (all it took was handing her a menu). The hostess talked up the Vegan Chocolate Raspberry Brownie. As the hostess was saying the word “vegan”, all I could hear was M.Giant’s voice in my head replacing the word “vegan” with “joy-less”, and I started chuckling. I had to explain the outburst after the hostess left. Thanks for getting me in trouble in another state, M.

The dessert arrived and looked pretty good. After the first few bites, Callous-un announced she wasn’t thrilled with it as it wasn’t very sweet and was very dense. Upon my own tasting, the top raspberry portion was very good, but the brownie part was just too flavorless for me. The raspberry sauce was good and the green goo (I found out it was mint of some sort) was also delicious. The three blood oranges went to me, since I’m a veteran blood orange eater from way back. This dessert this didn’t win me over to the dessert brigade or anything, so don’t expect to be wowed.

While we were eating, we noticed this lovely family from India sitting nearby. The young girls ordered this horrific looking green drink that made me gag if I saw them drinking it. But the hilarious part was everyone at their table had their own pepper mill, including the father’s pepper mill which was about two feet tall. We were unsure if the family had brought their own individual mills or what. We didn’t see any other tables with peppermills nor saw any staff carrying them around with them. We can only assume this family travels with their own seasoning implements.

I popped (not pooped) in the restroom before I left and was amazed to find a cabinet filled with all kinds of after dinner accoutrements: mouthwash (all organic), crap-spray, lotions, potpourri, etc. I’m not sure if this is a regular vegetarian restaurant thing (you know how… uh… odiferous... vegetarians and vegans can be) or if this is just their thing.

After dinner, we headed downtown to the bar that Coach and I used to hit up that we could never remember the name of. In the past, it’s been Marshall Steve’s, Admiral Gregory’s, and our favorite Captain Magillicutty’s. The actual name is Major Goolsby’s and it’s a decent sports bar that serves girly drinks and standard bar food (which we weren’t interested in). Then we walked around the corner to the Old German Beer Hall, a place where Chicken Little and I hung with the Rat City Roller Girls in 2008. Had another beer there and called it a night.

Top 5 things about Café Manna
1. Peace Bowl with Curried Cashew Crunch
2. Spiced Tempeh with Glazed Soba Noodles
3. Baba Ghanouj
4. The top portion of the Vegan Chocolate Raspberry Brownie
5. Awesome stuff in the bathroom cabinet

Bottom 5 things
1. Significant lack of meat at this place… hahaha
2. Vegan Chocolate Raspberry Brownie
3. Organic Pinot Grigio is not impressive
4. Crunchy vegetables (so says Callous-un)
5. Apparently, it’s rude to laugh when you hear the waitress say “joy-less”

www.cafemanna.com

Bier Stube - Moline, IL

Pul-Chevy and I went to see Sherlock Holmes with my nephews. Not to ruin it for you, but this movie has nothing to with the lesser talented brother of a certain 1970’s adult film star, just in case you were wondering. Afterwards, we wanted some sort of meaty substance (no relation to the aforementioned adult film star), so we decided on the Bier Stube in Moline. It’s an awesome German place for a drink and they have great food as well. Plus our friend TinyDancer works there part time, and I haven’t seen her in a while.

We were surprised the place was as slow as it was on a Saturday night, but whatever, we got the pick of places to sit. We perused the menu a bit and unfortunately, there are like 10 things I like here, so I finally decided on the Hindenburger – a pound of ground beef on texas toast with cheese, bacon, and a fried egg. Hard to go wrong. I also got onion rings and German Potato Salad, since I was feeling sassy. Pul-Chevy got some sort of Blue Cheese Portobella Burger. And because Pul-Chevy was feeling manly, we got an order of cheesy fries as well to start off the meal in proper form.

We gabbed a bit and drank some beers (I kind of drank a beer)(don’t ask). TinyDancer chatted us up as much as she could without getting in trouble. I miss her a ton and she cracks me up.
Our cheesy fries came out first. These things are seriously covered in cheese and bacon. Best cheesy fries ever.

Our burgers came out pretty quickly as we wrapped up the fry activity on our table. The burger is monstrous and delicious. Perfectly cooked and covered with cheese and an egg. The thing is hard to fit in your mouth (twss), but I made it happen and finished the entire thing. It’s a man-sized sammich, to be sure. The onion rings are pretty good for bar onion rings and the potato salad is decent. I’m not a huge fan of potato salad, but it sounded right. I think it’s good, but I’m the wrong person to rate it.

Pul-Chevy killed his mushroom burger after a long battle with it, and we were totally stuffed. Wow, that was a lot of food. This place is pretty awesome to hang at and you’re guaranteed to get great food as well. Just go here if you’re in the Quad Cities – there are now three locations (all of which are good).

Top 5 things about Bier Stube
1. Hindenburger
2. Cheesy Fries
3. Onion Rings
4. Portabella Blue Cheese Burger (so says Pul-Chevy)
5. Hanging out with TinyDancer

Bottom 5 things
1. Gerd loved the Bier Stube and Pul-Chevy, too. She should have been here smack talking Coach with us - hahaha
2. Everything on the menu is delicious and too difficult to narrow down
3. Apparently whatever beer I ordered (Erdinger) takes a while to pour (seriously) – freakin’ story of my life…
4. How can the parking lot be entirely full and the inside is almost dead?
5. I got so full, I hurt (I realize this is MY fault and not the Bier Stube’s)

www.bier-stube.com

Mango Thai - St. Paul, MN

EnyaFace! scored a job after 8 months of not working, so she invited me out to dinner to lord it over me that I’m unemployed and poor (which means she was planning to pay for my dinner). I, of course, agreed. We decided to go to Mango Thai in St. Paul, since it’s one of her favorites and I had heard good things about their food.

I showed up waaaay too early since rush hour traffic was really nice to me. I showed up so early that I felt I needed to go the Muddy Pig around the corner for a drink while I waited for EnyaFace!. I got a text from her saying she was there, so I finished my drink and headed back around the corner to Mango Thai.

The inside is much smaller than I expected. There are four 4-top tables, which oddly MT feels they can cram 6 people into. A 2-top, and then three tables along the wall where two people can sit on pillows on the floor (right next to the door). It’s small, quaint, and actually quite charming inside. Luckily we got there early enough we beat the rush and got one of the 4-tops all to ourselves. The lighting is pretty low (as you’ll see from the photos), but it doesn’t take away from the décor.

We perused the menu and, of course, both found 20 things we wanted to try. I was surprised how small the menu selection was, but thankfully, everything on the menu looked delicious, so no worries. The waitress ran through the specials for the evening, most of which were seafood-based and all of which were curry based. We ordered two appetizers: the Mango Spring Rolls and the Regular Egg Rolls. I ordered the special our waitress discussed: duck breast in a red curry sauce, served over bokchoy. I asked the waitress to add some extra zing to the spice level since I was trying to burn this cold out of my sinuses. EnyaFace! ordered the Spinach and Peanut Curry, which I was also eyeballing.


The appetizers came out and looked delicious. The regular egg rolls were lightly fried and flaky and had an awesome flavor and came with a light sweet/sour dipping sauce. I really liked these rolls a lot. The mango spring rolls were also delicious, but I wished you could taste more of the mango inside them. The spring rolls came with a spicy peanut dipping sauce and the light sweet/sour sauce also. EnyaFace! and I fought over the peanut sauce and when the waitress came to clear our appetizer plates, we wouldn’t let her take the peanut sauce. The presentation on both of these sets of rolls was beautiful, with shaved carrot curls and bean sprouts and all kinds of lettuce. I feel bad that a lot of the extra stuff went to waste after we finished the rolls. They were both awesome though.


The entrees came out as we were finishing up the appetizers and had beautiful presentation. Both had fancy plates and the rice was served in a bowl shaped mold on a separate plate. My plate was sort of a flat glass square and was piled beautifully with delicious looking food. To my delight, there were pieces of pineapple and also LYCHEES!!! Lychees are the tastiest of the eyeball-shaped fruits and are one of my favorites. They were the perfect complement to the spiciness of the red curry. The spice level (thankfully, the waitress kicked it up a notch) was absolutely perfect – enough to make my face numb, but not enough to bring tears. The duck meat was really flavorful, though there was more fat than I care for on my duck (just a tiny complaint there), and the bokchoy was delicious with the basil and pineapple flavor. This was exactly what I had hoped for.

EnyaFace!’s spinach peanut curry was also delicious. I scored a couple bites of it and though it wasn’t spicy, it was very peanuty and delicious. You’re not going to have a bad meal here, based on either of the dishes we tried, including the appetizers. Mango Thai may not take the place of my favorite Thai place (King and I), but it’s up there on the list. Thanks EnyaFace!

We headed back to the Muddy Pig for Peppermint Patties after dinner – the perfect finish to the night!

Top 5 things about Mango Thai
1. Duck with Red Curry
2. Surprise lychees on my plate
3. Egg Rolls
4. Mango Spring Rolls
5. Spinach and Peanut Curry


Bottom 5 things
1. Gerd loved Thai food and would have had a blast with EnyaFace! and I. I’m super sorry she’s missing out on all this amazing food I’ve found in the past year.
2. It’s super small inside, and if you get stuck by the door, you’re going to freeze
3. I wish you could taste more of the mango in the spring rolls
4. Surprisingly small menu
5. Felt like some of the decorative food went to waste

www.mangothaimn.com

Stashu's and Sons - Moline, IL

One of my favorite places to eat calzones in the world is in Moline, IL. I’m sure part of it is because I was raised on this place and my father used to take me here when we were kids. Flash forward years later and Coach and I used to eat here at least once a week when we worked up the street from the place. Still, this place is at the top of the list. Since I was home and Coach was working, I talked him into having lunch with me at Stashu’s, for old times’ sake.

Coach called in the order for us. The usual: Mini Regular Calzones for both of us. If you’re a regular customer like we are, you figure out what you like and then you call it in, especially if you’re on a time schedule like those people who actually have jobs. Ha ha, suckas. And yes, we order minis for two reasons: the minis are plenty big enough for one person’s lunch (even me) and they’re also much cheaper than the regular sized. Stashu’s is also cheaper than any calzone place in the Quad Cities, which is convenient because they are also the best calzones in the Quad Cities. We arrived about the same time, got our drinks (they have DEW), paid, and sat down. 2 minutes later, our food appeared.

The food is always awesome here. They make their own dough and hand toss it (they also do pizza and some other things like Stromboli and sammiches). Our calzones were perfect, as usual. Awesome crust and crumbly sausage on the inside with ricotta and mozzarella cheese inside and slices of ham. The sauce is good, but I’ve heard SOME people complain about it not having enough flavor – those people are obviously crazy – but I feel I must give them a voice here so they don’t complain to me.

Stashu’s is also a meat/butcher shop. So you can pick up packages of brats or Italian beef or barbequed meat, or half baked calzones and pizzas. It’s hard to go wrong here. If you’re throwing a party of any sort, consider swinging by here and grabbing some brats or various meats you can throw in a crock pot and throw together the perfect carnivore party. You won’t be sorry.

I’m too biased to give an accurate Top 5, so you’ll just have to deal with it.