Hot Plate – Minneapolis, MN

I have the best boss in the world. She lives out of town, but she comes into Minneapolis pretty regularly to keep our team in top shape. The hotel she usually stays at is halfway between my house and the office, so sometimes I pick her up on my way into work … and sometimes she buys breakfast. Today we had a lot to talk about, business-wise, so I suggested we try Hot Plate – I’ve heard people talk about it, but had never been. There’s a huge cedar tree blocking the sign, so we drove past it twice trying to find it – it’s in the same building as an old radio repair shop, so if you see that, you’re in the right spot.

The inside looks more like a jumbled antique shop than a restaurant, but in a home-y way, not a hoarder way. There are tons of paintings on the walls. Not fancy paintings either, the old paint-by-numbers kind. There’s also a lot of Precious Moments style little statues with phrases at the bottom (not actually Precious Moments though, since some of the sayings are a bit off-color for some people’s taste). It’s kind of awesome and overwhelming at the same time. 

We grabbed a booth and checked out the menu. It’s got some typical breakfast items that you’d expect, but then some of them have been given some special treatment. Plus, there’s a “south of the border” section that has really wonderful items that include various salsas and tortillas. I’ve heard the Pumpkin Pancakes were really amazing here, but I kept going back to the South of the Border section. Despite changing my mind about 5 times before finally ordering, I got the Carnitas Scramble. 

The food arrived and looked even better than I had suspected it would. A really generous portion of eggs and carnitas with jalapenos, and a pile of fried potatoes. The carnitas were actually quite good and the jalapenos gave it some pop. I like pretty much anything mixed with eggs, so it’s hard to go wrong there, as long as you throw in good ingredients. Hot Plate totally did that. My boss got the peanut butter pancakes and a plate of bacon – and she raved about everything. 

On our way out, we noticed a sort of game corner. There were board games and even some old school electronic games like football and Simon, and even MERLIN (I had to control my excitement for that one). Then I saw a Speak N Spell and also a Speak N Math – I was such a nerd kid, I geeked out hard over these two finds. Very impressive, Hot Plate, if there weren’t already 10 reasons to come back, I would totally come back here and relive my youth.

5204 Bloomington Ave. S.

Minneapolis, MN 55417

www.mrmosaico.com/hotplatediner>

www.mrmosaico.com/hotplatediner>

Frank’s Diner – Kenosha, WI

I had the morning free and was in the mood for a drive from Milwaukee, so I decided to go to the place that Betty and Rink recommended to me: Frank’s Diner. It is in “downtown” Kenosha – a pretty run-down downtown, but still has a handful of old-timey shops still eeking out enough profits to stay afloat. It’s also ALMOST on the lakeshore which DOES have a spectacular view and some impressive boats in the marina – worth a two block walk.

Frank’s is in an old dining car, but it has a couple of additions built on to it. So you’ve got your counter area where you sit two feet from the grilling awesomeness of the cook. Then you’ve got some booths in one portion of the enlarged room, and then they‘ve built on a back room to house overflow. When my brother-in-law Uncle DumDum went here, he said there was a line and every available seat was being used. I must have gotten lucky. I parked it at a spot right by the grill, since I enjoy a good show with my dinner and then I can hear the staff smack talk and crack wise at each other. Fun for me.

I knew the thing to order here is called the garbage plate. It’s kind of a pile of eggs, hashbrowns, meat, and veggies to your liking. I tried NOT to order it, but I couldn’t resist – it sounded… right. I got a half garbage plate (full disclosure) with bacon and corned beef hash, cheddar cheese and jalapenos. And sure, throw on a side of homemade toast, as well.

The server turned around and handed the cook the slip and two minutes later, the food was sitting in front of me. Looking all hot and sassy. I threw on some Tabasco and ketchup and set to work on it.

It was good. I wouldn’t say life changing, but it was honestly a great diner breakfast. I’d happily order this again. You could taste the corned beef hash and the bacon and everything was in the perfect proportion. Nothing overwhelming. And it surprisingly wasn’t greasy, either. Just perfect for diner food. The homemade toast was also buttered generously, like I like, and complemented breakfast perfectly.

I was full, but not stuffed. And happy. Rink and Betty, this was a great recommendation and even though it wasn’t on the way to anywhere, it was worth the trip for me.

Not enough info for a Top 5 list, but it would be mostly positive anyway! Nailed it!

www.franksdinerkenosha.com

Munchkins - Milwaukee, WI

Some mornings, you just need 25 Munchkins from Dunkin Donuts and a chocolate milk. this was one of those mornings.

It brings back my childhood and eating donut holes with my grandfather at SpudNuts in Rock Island, IL. Sigh...

JT’s Hamburgers – West St. Paul, MN

D.Rough has been telling me about JT’s Hamburgers since we moved to St. Paul. She said it’s a staple of the community and has been there as long as she can remember. I spoke with a guy who works across the street from JT’s and he said it was one of the first fast food places in the area, setting up shop even before McDonald’s came to the area, and had been there since at least the 60’s. I’ve driven by it hundreds of times on Robert Street, but have never been able to stop – until now.

I strolled in and smiled. It’s got a really homey feel to it. It has 4 or 5 two-top booths and two two-top tall tables. So the capacity isn’t a banquet hall or anything. The menu is posted on a faded sign with plastic letters and numbers behind the counter – like an old snack shop or something. There is also a poster board on the counter with combo specials listed on it. All of the lunch combos cost $5.59 (making them $5.99 with tax, as I found out). If it isn’t obvious by the name of the place, the focus here is on hamburgers and cheese burgers. You can get any of them with onion rings and a soda for under $6. This is going to rule. I ordered the double cheeseburger with onion rings and a diet dew. The super nice woman took my order and then passed it off to the guy working the grill and fryer.

I wish I had seen the written-on-notebook-paper sign with Combo #7 on it – two cheeseburgers and two egg rolls with a soda for $5.59. That would have ruled.

As I sat there and watched many may people come in and get things to go for lunch, I realized there are a LOT of regulars here. The guy working the grill knew all of them by name and chatted all of them up. This guy is a big deal in West St. Paul. It appears there is a large regular crowd that comes in and gets their burgers here. Nice.

My lunch got cooked in record time and the guy handed me a paper sack filled (seriously filled) with onion rings and a paper-wrapped burger on top of the rings. I dumped them all out so I could survey the feast.

I knew I was going to need some ketchup for the onion rings, so I grabbed what was left in the bin of ketchup at the counter. I’m apparently a ketchup snob, because I was bummed by the lack of Heinz ketchup. But I’ll make due with whatever, when it comes to onion rings. The rings had a good flavor to them, but were sort of inconsistent on the fry-work. Some were a little undercooked and others were beyond crispy. I ate most of them, however, and was pretty happy with the flavor. They were pretty greasy and filling, and there were way more than I expected.

The cheese burger wasn’t the best I’d ever had. It looked a little gray and had an onion-y flavor to it, very much like a slightly better White Castle burger (which I no longer eat). The bun was nice and moist, which was nice, but I was still concerned about what that gray meat was going to do to my insides later this evening. I think the whole thing is steamed to keep it moist.

Overall, it was a filling meal and I’m glad I went. I was really impressed at both the number of people that rolled through these doors and also the relationships these workers have with the community. It honestly reminded me of a small hamburger joint in the Quad Cities where I grew up – Henry’s Hamburgers. People didn’t go there because it was the most delicious, but because the people there are awesome and it’s incredibly cheap and filling. I’ll be honest, I do get a pretty regular craving for a greasy burger, and now that I know JT’s Hamburgers can fill that void (especially since they’re a few blocks away from where I live). D.Rough also says they deliver, which could be troublesome for me when I’m feeling lazy. Hahahaha.

According to the news, JT’s has had some issues with some tax payments, but they must have gotten caught up, because they’re back open and rockin’. I hope they continue to serve the people of West St. Paul for many more years.

Top 5 things about JT’s Hamburgers
1. Friendly staff and non-kitsch old timey atmosphere/nostalgia
2. Really inexpensive
3. Filling portion of onion rings
4. Fast service
5. They have Dew

Bottom 5 things
1. Grey onion-y burger
2. Inconsistent onion rings
3. Really small dining room
4. Non-Heinz ketchup
5. I missed out on the egg roll combo, which I’m guessing is awesome

JT’s Hamburgers
1224 South Robert Street
West St. Paul, MN 55118

Mr. and Mrs. Torture’s Incredible Bachelor/Bachelorette Party – St. Paul, MN

I normally don’t review super personal things like this, but I’m making an exception since it was so awesome. Mr. and Mrs. Torture are awesome people and know other people who know awesome people. Some of these aforementioned people know about this underground bowling alley in the basement of a catholic school in St. Paul. And by underground, I mean it’s in a basement. The Torture’s rented out the entire 6-lane facility for their pre-wedding shenanigans and got the ok to bring in booze (it’s run by Catholics, so it didn’t take much)(Hey! I went to Catholic school. I’m allowed to say things/facts like that). It’s one of two tiny church-related bowling centers in the Twin cities and likely one of less than a hundred church-run bowling alleys in the country. It’s a secret big deal. (So secret, they don't even light their sign outside...)

The lanes are standard lanes, with automatic pin setters, and even scorekeeping computer monitors. The seating area for bowlers is almost on top of the bowler who’s up, so you have to be careful, but there’s a nice seating area behind the lanes for bowlers and hecklers alike. You can rent shoes at the counter where you pay for your games and they’re got houseballs for everyone to use. It’s a pretty fun operation. It’s isn’t going to be all fancy black lights and discoballs like at Brunswick FunZone, but it’s absolutely the kind of awesome you’d expect when you tell someone you’re going to a secret bowling alley in the basement of a catholic school. This totally reminds me of a super small bowling alley back in my home town – they bowling alley was called Hob Nob and had eight lanes of cigarette-smelling, super dark awesomeness.

Here are some shots of the funiosity, starting with Mrs. and Mr. Torture themselves!

We started off with a bit of craziness to make sure people had fun. The first bowler on lane one got to pick what everyone will do for frame one – funny walk, spin around, between the legs, football hike, opposite hand, and then everyone does that for a frame. Then the person on lane 2 picks the second frame bowling style, and so on. It got a little ridiculous, and I think I ended up with a 37 for the first game. The next games were much better when it was a free for all. Or maybe the flasks of liquor helped (you have to keep the booze off the lanes though and in the seating area – very simple house rules we were happy to comply with).

There’s even a copy of Mark Roth’s well-known book available in case you need some tips. My father is cracking up right now, since I guarantee he has this book in his home office right now.

And of course, you get to use the school gym locker room for the restrooms, should you need it. Bring a towel, take a shower! D.Rough has no idea how close I came to doing that during the party. I’m amazed she puts up with me, but I’m glad she does.

D.Rough and I were excited to use the bowling balls her parents got us for Christmas last year. We’ve only been bowling with her family once since we got them, but we’re making sure the balls get put to good use. Thanks, parents-in-laws! We love them!!

Seriously, this was one of the best bachelor/bachelorette party ideas ever. And… it was just the start of the evening.

Note: There doesn’t appear to be a lick of oil on the lanes here (for non-bowlers, yes, there is supposed to be oil on the lanes). I didn’t even ONCE hit the right side pins the entire time. Choose your weapons accordingly if you plan to go here. Don't even bother with urethane or resin balls (sorry to get all fancy-talk on you...).

http://www.sf-sj.org/parish/st.-francis-bowling-center/

Cooter’s Place – Nashville, TN

So let’s say you were NOT a fan of country music, but you grew up watching television as a kid. Now let’s say you get stuck in Nashville for a few days with nothing to do. What’s the highlight of the trip going to be? ? ? ? You guessed it – Cooter’s Place.Cooter’s Place is a sort of ram-shackle museum or Dukes of Hazzard memorabilia. Some of the items are in mint condition and some of the items are held together with scotch tape and pinned to the wall crooked. Seriously. I’m not sure what the Duke Boys’ tie is to Nashville, since the show took place in Georgia, but that’s totally beside the point. The real point is that this place is awesome on 912 different levels. I found soooo many items I used to own when I was a kid. Matchbox cars, figurines, posters of Daisy, Underoos, model cars, license plates for your bike, t-shirts of Uncle Jesse, and half a billion photos of the cast members standing right there in that very shop. On top of all this, they have cars from the television show that you can sit in (some are replicas), and relive your glory days of sitting in Mom and Dad’s living room every night watching them Duke Boys run from the law.The place is actually run by Ben Jones, the actor who played Cooter on the television show before he turned politician, before he turned author, before he turned store owner, and before he turned into the lead singer of Cooter’s Garage Band (with a new album due out in 2011!!!). We didn’t see him at the shop that day, but we did get to see one of the ladies who works there fire up the General Lee and back it out into the parking lot (after one of the Minnesota Rollergirl Superfans moved their car from in front of the garage door – hahahaha)

I can’t rave about this place enough. Sure it’s full of trashy kitsch, but it’s also full of memories from when I was a kid. It’s also full of really short jeans shorts.




I tried not to buy a bunch of crap while I was there and somehow made it out of the gift shop under $25. It was difficult, but I managed. I will probably go back here if I get back to Nashville in the next 50 years. It probably won’t change that much. If you need directions, it’s right across the street from the Grand Ole’ Opry (and right next door to the equally trashy/tacky Willie Nelson Museum).

Love. It.

Porky’s BBQ – St. Paul, MN

When a staple of the community closes its doors, you should try to pay it one last visit before it’s gone forever (especially when that legendary restaurant is being torn down to make way for Episcopalian condos). Porky’s has been in St. Paul a million years (that might be a slight exaggeration…). It was known as THE place to hang out if you had a classic or souped up car that you like to talk about while the hood is up and you’re taking up valuable parking spots outside an amazing restaurant. People drag raced outside of it (though few got arrested) and people would do amazing burnouts and drop all kinds of rubber right in front of it as a shout out to the place. It was seriously old school. And it was closing.


D.Rough and Rita were having a Sunday Funday, so they went and stood in line for me while I was taking care of some homework. I rolled up on them standing in a huge line waiting to even get inside the place for one last taste of Porky’s delicious fare. There was a bizarre line because the new light rail is going in on University Avenue in St. Paul, and there is construction messing up all kinds of places. So people were lining up IN the construction zone waiting.
When I finally got to D.Rough and Rita, they were standing in line drinking Hamm’s in coozies and living up the day. That’s why D.Rough and Rita rule.



One St. Paul legend waiting in line for this St. Paul legend was Fancy Ray – the Best Lookin’ man in show business - look for the guy in the blue suit coat, blue alligator shoes, giant gold star necklace, and permed hair that makes me hungry for french silk pie. The guy is a class act and always dressed like he’s headed to church. And he’s got the kind of energy you get when you mainline 5hour-energy as soon as you wake up. He took a couple of photos with people, including D.Rough and I. He’s hilariously legendary. Like a fancy cartoon.



When you get inside of the place, there was a large sign with a very limited menu. This was intended to get people in there and out of there as quickly as possible. And it worked. We ordered a bunch of food and got out of there in about 2 minutes (after waiting over an hour in line, which we totally expected).

I got an order of chicken wings, and a double cheeseburger, since the BBQ pulled pork sammiches were already gone. I also got a strawberry shake and some onion rings. That’s how I roll.

We grabbed our food and headed out to the picnic tables they had set up in the parking lot. The whole time, all these classic cars, trucks, and motorcycles were coming in and out of the parking lot. The owners would pop open the hood, hang out and talk to each other for a few minutes, and then drive off, after laying down a 500 yard strip of rubber and a choking cloud of smoke.

The food was the kind of food you hate to see go. The burger was really juicy and flavorful without being greasy. The chicken wings were greasy like they’re supposed to be, but very crispy and make you want to eat about 50 of them. The onion rings were perfectly crispy and greasy. And the shake was top notch - actual ice cream and strawberries. Seriously, this food was really really good.

We saw the news crew interview Fancy Ray about the closing of Porky’s. We saw an old mean take a header directly into a puddle and spill his food he had just bought at Porky’s (all that was left in the oil-slicked puddle was one floating onion ring when he walked away – super sad). And we saw a Ford Taurus try to pull into the parking lot and get laughed out by all the muscle cars in the lot.

Rita had to pour some out for her homies gone and soon-to-be-gone. It’s a sad day when a place like this closes, but I’m glad we took the day to stand in line and get one last taste of this place. Thanks for all your years of service, Porky’s.

Space Aliens – Albertville, MN

D.Rough’s parents went on a super sweet snowmobile day-trip last weekend, so we thought we’d hang out with D.Rough’s sister SalsaSandwich for the day and go have some fun. D.Rough wanted to take her sister to Space Aliens – a space/alien themed restaurant with food and tons of video games. I’ve heard about it and it has been recommended to me (especially by friends who have children), but I’d never been there. I plugged it into the GPS and headed out. Yes, it was a half hour away, but it would be worth it.

We arrived at the Northeast Minneapolis location only to find it closed. Not closed for the day, but closed forever. Suck suck suck.

D.Rough was still determined, however. I jokingly said, “The GPS says there’s another one in Albertville” (Albertville is another hour away), and D.Rough said, “Let’s go!” Really?! Well, we had nothing else to do and it was below zero outside, so we headed up the interstate to Albertville. SalsaSandwich cashed out in the backseat the whole way, so she had no idea we were in the car “getting lunch” for like 2 hours… hahahahaha.

We went inside and got seated. There’s a LOT of neon all over the place and all kinds of fun space toys and posters and movie cells and blinking lights. Pretty awesome place. We checked out the menu before we did anything else – people were seriously hungry at that point. I was VERY surprised at how much variety the menu had. I wasn’t expecting much, frankly, but there were a lot of things that sounded delicious. Burgers, wraps, sandwiches, pizzas, appetizers, soups, salads, some Mexican food, ribs, BBQ, steak, potatoes, and probably half a dozen other things I’m forgetting. They also have a pretty awesome drink menu (both adult and regular beverages) which includes shakes and malts.

Even the bathrooms have space and alien themes going on!!! Awesome!

It took us a while to decide, but we finally figured it out. D.Rough got a giant baked potato (she’s been her before so she knows the potatoes are like 8 inches around) filled with beef brisket, sour cream, cheddar cheese, bacon bits, fried onion petals, and bbq sauce. SalsaSandwich got an Alien burger with cheese – and because she’s awesome, she got a double. She got fries, of course, and a couple of random dipping sauces (there are 10 different ones to choose from). AND she got a Dew in a space alien drinking glass – can you tell I like SalsaSandwich’s eating style?! I finally decided on the Planet of the Zombies Taco Burger – burger with nacho cheese, lettuce, tomato, olives, taco chips, jalapenos, and taco sauce. …and fries, of course, with spicy ketchup and nacho cheese dipping sauces. I thought I’d top it off with a Pink Squirrel, as well – that’s a pink milkshake with some delicious alcohol of some sort in it (doesn’t even matter what kind).

Then we went to play a crap ton of video games and won as many tickets as possible. D.Rough needed to vent a little frustration on the whack-a-mole game before she exploded on a young man in the game area. HILARIOUS!

The food came out after we got back from the first round of games and we were all pleasantly surprised.
SalsaSandwich’s double Alien burger was freaking enormous. Seriously. One of the biggest restaurant burgers around. She said it was delicious and she ate about 75% of it before throwing in the towel.

D.Rough’s giant baked potato was delicious. It could have used a little more brisket in my opinion, but it was very flavorful and enormous. I’d probably get one of these gargantuan potatoes the next time I go back here. Tons of toppings and everything tasted excellent.

My own burger was pretty amazing, in all honesty. I’m not a huge fan of olives, so I got rid of as many of them as I could, but everything else was fantastic. The meat was perfectly cooked and it tasted like a fantastic taco burger.The fries were crispy and delicious (not much different from most regular fry places), and the dipping sauces were really good. The spicy ketchup wasn’t very spicy, but I always love cheese sauce with my fries, so I was very happy.

The Pink Squirrel went down really smooth (twss), and I would have loved to order 5 more of these things. They have a bunch of adult milkshakes here at this place, so make sure you look at the drink menu.

Once we finished up, we went back and played half a billion more games to win tickets. SalsaSandwich ended up with a boatload, so she cashed them in three giant alien whoopee cushions. Yes, those kind of whoopee cushions. My face hurt from laughing at both her and D.Rough making all kinds of jokes and noises on the LONG ride home.

Classic Saturday fun for people who know how to have a good time!!!

Top 5 things about Space Aliens
1. Planet of the Zombies Taco Burger
2. Giant Baked Potato with Beef Brisket
3. Pink Squirrel
4. Video games are always a winner
5. Really huge menu for a theme restaurant

Bottom 5 things
1. There are tons of rotten little kids running into you and ignoring you and yelling and there’s nothing you can do about it
2. The potato needed more beef in it
3. It’s like 2 hours away from me
4. I REALLY would have liked to see some video games for grown-ups there, even though they don’t dispense tickets
5. I heard this place actually has fantastic ribs, and I didn’t get to try them (my own fault, but I’m still bummed)

www.spacealiens.com