Iceland – Land of LIES (Day 7)

Our last day in Iceland was very uneventful. We were concerned about the weather and the cancellation of the previous day’s planes ruining things for our flights, but we had no problems at all. We packed our stuff, cleaned the house really well, forgot the bag of food in the fridge that we were going to bring with us, and made it to the rental car place and airport without any problems.

Seriously, look at how beautiful this mountain pass of doom is today in the sunshine!!!

We even had enough time to pull over, so D.Rough could trespass on someone's private property and snap a photo of a cute little camper trailer similar to ours!

It was such a beautiful day out - sunshine for miles! ...Oh wait!... I forgot it hailed on us when we were walking outside from the bus to the airplane on the tarmac. Hahahahaha. One last jab from Iceland.

So that makes for a really boring blog post, right? I’m going to do what I can to fix that, so you aren’t bored by our last day in Iceland. I’ll do that by talking, once again, about penises. I’m clearly not trying for an Icelandic Tourism Bureau position. In fact, I’m BURNING ALL THE (one-lane) BRIDGES!!! So, I might as well keep going!

This vacation, without question, was the most penis-filled vacation I’ve ever been on – and that isn’t even including the Icelandic Phallogical Museum in Reykjavik. I’ve mentioned a few times all of the amazing geothermal pools we went to and the rec center by our house – all of those places have very strict requirements about showering BEFORE you get into the pool without your swimsuit. So strict that many of the pools, including the Blue Lagoon, have some sort of monitor in the shower area to make sure you adhere to this rule. There are signs up showing you which parts of your body to address before getting into the geothermal pool, complete with red circles and pointers.

It’s totally normal in Iceland, and you probably shouldn’t get bent out of shape, but I like to at least warn people, since I know people can be very locker-room averse. The geothermal pools generally don’t use chemicals to clean and purify the water (like U.S. swimming pools use tons of chlorine), so the idea is that you wash away as many of your naturally-occurring body oils before getting into the pools. Makes total sense. So, every pool that you go to will have a swimsuit-less shower requirement before getting in. And, at least all of the pools we went to on this trip, there are separate locker rooms for both men and women, if that eases your fears at all.

Pro-tip for those of you that have “concerns” about being in the locker room with a lot of naked people: Don’t choose a locker on the bottom level. …  …just think about it – you’ll figure it out eventually.

Just deal with it. Don’t make it a big deal, because no one else from any other country will make it a big deal. And, because it isn’t a big deal.

Secondly, despite all of the complaints about the weather and the extremely dangerous driving, we truly DID have a great time. I WILL say we had a much better time once we got to where we were going, but the getting there was really the only bad part. We saw some amazing waterfalls, soaked in some incredible geothermal pools, ate delicious food, met some truly wonderful and hospitable people, stayed in an amazing rental house, drove the cutest 4x4 car ever, saw the ocean from an angle we have never seen before, saw icebergs shortly after their birth, saw seals, had a great time with friends from Minnesota, laughed our heads off at so many ridiculous situations, stole a baby iceberg, tried without success to pronounce every Icelandic word we saw, ate ice cream with cows, petted some dogs, took a sauna every day, baked bread in the earth, saw a geyser, saw Icelandic horses battling in the snow, learned about sustainability and environmentalism, saw a TON of penises, drank tiki drinks, and ate a ton of Icelandic butter.

My wife thinks I tell the story of our trip in such a way as to make people think we had an awful time. We didn’t. We encountered some awful weather and driving, but that was it. We were prepared for the cost, which I know is expensive – but we were mentally prepared. I DO tell the story of our adventures in such a way as to let people know that Iceland can be hard. VERY hard. But we were there in February. What do people expect? It’s cold and windy here in February, just like it is a lot of places. Our mistake was thinking that just because we’re from Minnesota that the warnings that people generously bestowed on us were for Florida-travelers, not Minnesota-travelers. This is the first vacation that has ever broken me – day ONE, in fact. That’s really hard to do, since I’m a pretty adaptable traveler and can drive, sleep, and eat pretty much anywhere. But Iceland is on another level with its weather.

The week before we got to Iceland, they closed the entire island because of a blizzard. It sounded and looked awful. Far worse than we even had. So I’m thankful for that. I’m also thankful that my friends that went three weeks after us had an amazing trip and they want to move there. It isn’t Iceland’s fault.

I laugh because I fully expected to see all of THIS in Iceland:

But instead, I got this.

And, I wouldn’t change it. I survived and came out stronger at the other end of this trip that almost killed us multiple times. It’s going to make our next beach vacation THAT much better.

I have a feeling we’ll be back, Iceland. Maybe not in February next time, but there are still things we know you are hiding from us. Iceland didn’t lie, it just did what my friend Coach enjoys doing – not telling the whole truth. I’m guessing the tourism bureau ran out of room putting pretty pictures on its flyers and couldn’t find the space to put all the terrifying ones in there. Probably smart on their part, hahaha.

Go to Day 6