Iceland – Land of LIES (Day 6)

I was pretty excited for this day when I woke up. Yes, I knew we’d have to wait before we did anything because all of the roads were probably going to be closed… wait… I’m checking now… yup, all closed! We had a good breakfast and relaxed before our adventure day in Reykjavik. To get there, we knew we had to drive through the mountain pass of doom (see previous posts for an explanation if you skipped ahead), so we took our time. We were going to meet our friend Loose Change in town for some of our adventures, but we figured she was staying in town and probably saw some of the touristy things we wanted to hit quickly. I’ll also mention that this was my birthday, so I was pretty excited for some of our shenanigans I had planned on for the past few months.

We drove the death-defying highway over the mountain and despite the country’s best efforts, we made it safely. All the snow and ice had turned into rain by the time we got to Reykjavik. Our plan was to park somewhere central and then do some walking to where we needed to go. We scored a really close parking spot near the famous Hallgrimskirkja – the largest church and one of the tallest structures in Iceland. My mother was probably thrilled when she heard I was in a for-real church on my birthday.

We waited in line to go to the top of the tower, and were actually lucky enough to catch the organist practicing. That was pretty slick.

While we were waiting in line, we ran into a family we had seen at the Fontana Spa on Wednesday. They said that night they lost control of their car and it slid far off the road – thankfully, not a roll-over situation – and they had to walk a few miles to a hotel that charged them $500 to stay. Then the following morning had to pay a farmer to pull their car out of the ditch. See? This stuff happens all the time in Iceland, but it isn’t in the brochure!

The elevator only holds like six people and costs $5-7 per person, but I’d say just suck it up and pay for the great view of the entire city and harbor. It was worth it to us. (People are such complainers!)

We finished up at the church and did some shopping while walking towards our destination. We had called Loose Change and she was going to meet us. But we had some people to buy souvenirs for and needed to look at Icelandic sweaters and such. We popped into a few charity shops – which the US refers to as consignment or goodwill shops. It’s a very walkable city and we had a good time walking in the drizzle.

While walking towards our most exciting destination ever, we stopped at the Big Lebowski Bar – it’s a bar themed after the movie of the same name. It’s decorated in all kinds of bowling and Big Lebowski movie props and they have an awesome list of like 20 different white russians (drinks). We were a little bummed that the staff didn’t seem to be into it at all, despite working at what appeared to be a really fun bar. But it didn’t matter, we had fun and that was all that mattered. They had a spin-the-wheel-and-get-whatever-drinks-you-landed-on situation here at the bar, but I decided against it and just got a standard white russian. D.Rough got a hot version and loved it. I do love a good booze wheel, though… Next time.

We walked past the Chuck Norris Grill. I’m guessing it’s got some good kitch, but D.Rough and I make it a rule that we don’t eat burgers outside of the U.S.  Not because we’re scared of what they put in the meat, but because they DO put things in the meat that makes it taste NOT like a juice burger form the U.S.  Apparently, I’m a burger nationalist. (But I’ll pretty much eat all the local and ethnic food I can get my hands on.)

We grabbed some awesome chips (french fries in the U.S.) from Reykjavik Chips – which comes highly recommended. They’ve got a ton of different sauces and the fries were crunchy on the outside and fluffy on the inside – just like in Belgium (or in Astoria, Oregon’s Frite & Scoop). They’ve got some decent beers there, as well. The guy working was super personable and friendly and they’ve got old school rap/hip-hop on the speakers This place did tons of business while we were there, so we were lucky to get a table – with holes in it to put your chip cones. Fantastic place.

We heard from Loose Change and she was ready to meet us at our ultimate Icelandic destination – the Icelandic Phallogical Museum. Yes, it’s a museum dedicated to penises. It’s a very scientifically displayed collection of penises from different animals. The most impressive/terrifying were the whale penises, but they had all kinds of other animals – mammals, lizards, birds (sort of), insects, and human. It’s a large room full of formaldehyde glass jars with descriptions next to them.

There are three or four other smaller rooms with specific collections in them. My favorite was the folklore room. It’s basically a room where they’ve collected penises from animals and monsters that don’t exist. Some are clearly stitched together and some are very creatively shown, but it’s really an interesting way to demonstrate these things.

The hilarious thing is that the gift shop is about one step away from being a bachelorette party shop.

Most of us had a good time there, but D.Rough had to tap out early. She got a little grossed out and overwhelmed. Completely understandable. I heard about this museum when I saw a really good documentary film called the Final Member. If you can find a copy, it’s worth watching.

The bar we (mainly me) wanted to go to wasn’t open yet, so we had to kill some time. By this time of day, it was absolutely POURING down rain and sleet. Combined with the howling winds, you really couldn’t hear each other talk when you were outside.

We headed down near the harbor to get a photo of the Viking ship sculpture. Thankfully, the rain was keeping most of the people away, so we got great photos of me shirtless in front of it. It’s funny when you whip your shirt off in an inhabitable weather situation and people cheer for you. Try it sometime!

We were getting extremely soaked at this point, so D.Rough and Loose Change did some clothes and souvenir shopping.

We walked past the birthday-boy’s-chosen bar, called Bar Ananas a few times before they actually opened (like 45 minutes late). It’s Iceland’s only tiki bar, so I knew I had to hit it for my birthday. For its location, on what is literally the almost exact opposite side of the globe from French Polynesia, it does a good job of tiki décor. I was pleased we made it here. The tiki cocktail menu only had 8 drinks on it and 4 of those were not available, so our decision was made much easier.

Loose Change and I got the drink that involved fire – which we got too much of the ingredient that causes the fire because we had to ask for a second attempt so we could get better photos – and D.Rough got the Flamingofant.

We were all ok with our drinks – nothing to rave about, but they did fine. The space is pretty cool and multi-leveled, but it’s no Mai Kai or Trader Vik’s.

Some bars put deodorant hockey pucks or ice cubes into their urinals, right? Well Bar Ananas puts pineapple in their urinals. That’s going the extra tiki mile!

We said our good byes to Loose Change, since we had to drive back over the mountain pass of doom, and headed towards home. We thought we’d check out a restaurant near our house in Selfoss for a nice birthday dinner. Thankfully, Kaffi Krús was able to get us a table and treated us very well for the night. I got a ridiculously-priced fancy beer and D.Rough got something a little more reasonable. D.Rough went with the Duck Pizza, and I got the Filet of Icelandic Lamb. It was my birthday – what did you expect!?

This was the best meal we had had in Iceland – the food and the service were just amazing. They made sure we were both well taken care and there was an attention to the food that was pretty outstanding. And since my wife believes you can’t celebrate a birthday properly without dessert, we both got uour own dessert. There is a pretty spectacular display case full of desserts and cakes and they also have a sort of set dessert menu to choose from. I honestly have no idea what D.Rough got – it’s some sort of skyrcake (like cheesecake made with skyr Icelandic yogurt) and cookies and chocolate crumbled on it. It was ridiculously good and probably came out of the magic dessert case.

I got the white chocolate and strawberry mousse, which was my favorite dessert I’ve had in a really long time.

These people can make some serious food. I’m so glad we came here and didn’t skimp on my birthday.

The weather was getting really rough outside (since it was after dark), so we got home as fast as we could. We had a message from Loose Change saying the airport had shut down today due to the weather and we should be on high alert for our flights that left tomorrow. Uh oh. It also turns out that Loose Change and her friend went out in the storm to get outside of the city and potentially snap some photos of the northern lights (since the weather had not been cooperating all week). The pair was out late and the weather continued to get increasingly awful and they had to get escorted back to the city by some sort of good samaritan highway patrol vehicle, since they couldn’t see the road they were driving on. I’m glad they made it home safe at like 4 am. D.Rough and I were long asleep by then, despite the wind rattling our house most of the night!

Day 5   |   Day 7