The Royal Mile – Des Moines, IA

English pub with one of the best Scotch menus I have ever seen. I ended up here with some friends before a show I went to across the alley. The Scotch isn’t cheap, but then good Scotch is not. Everyone else had eaten, so I grabbed a food menu and decided on the Inglehoffer and some Glenmorangie Sherrywood Scotch.

The Scotch was good, but not as sweet as I expected it to be. Not the pub's fault. The Inglehoffer was a sandwich with a halved sausage, ham, and melted swiss cheese on it. It was amazing! Thick cut French bread with meat and cheese. That’s a good combination. The waitress was awesome and super helpful, and the place was clean yet dark. Kind of like a standard English pub. Go Des Moines for putting together some of the mother country in its downtown. I could have eaten about 90% of the things on the menu. They even had scotch eggs, which are my favorite.

Everything was fine until the douche-bag wedding group showed up, including the bride who kept publicly fixing her breasts. We left then.

If you’re in downtown Des Moines (don’t know why you would be, but whatever), go here.

Top 5 things
1. Scotch selection
2. The menu was seriously extensive
3. The Inglehoffer ruled
4. Wait staff were awesome
5. The food was REALLY affordable. I think I paid 7 bucks for a sammich and fries.

Bottom 5 things
1. Next to a metal bar
2. D-bag wedding party
3. The restroom – after Jim used it for a half hour
4. The sign looks like it says Royal Milf
5. I had to rush my dinner to catch the show

http://www.desmoinesalive.com/locations/des-moines/royal-mile

Roscoe’s Ribs & Barbeque – Rochester, MN

We met a former co-worker from our previous job in Rochester for dinner. We hadn’t seen BatHater in about 5 years, so we were due. He recommended a barbeque place, since years ago, we gorged ourselves on ribs and steak at Carson’s in Chicago.

The place was like a smaller Famous Dave’s kind of place, but not as tacky. Not a lot of room, but waiting to be seated, you could see how awesome the food looked. The menu was pretty thorough, but you could tell they were a BBQ place. EVERYTHING on the menu looked awesome. I decided on the rib platter and Gerd got the pulled pork platter.

The rib platter was a half slab of ribs served on homemade fried potato slices and it came with baked beans and cole slaw. The baked beans had tons of bacon in them and the potatoes were an awesome addition to the plate. The meal came with garlic bread, which was apparently awesome, but I didn’t want to fill my belly with needless bread. The ribs weren’t falling of the bone tender, but the sauce was really good and they were REALLY meaty. No complaints at all. I also got the rootbeer which they claim is famous, but it was just average in my eyes. I’ll vote for 1919 or Sprecher anyday.

The pulled pork was served on the potatoes as well, which ruled. The meat was more chunked pork than shredded pork, which ruled. And covered in sauce, which ruled. The sauce is optional, but come on, you’re at a barbeque sauce place. Gerd also got a handful of deep fried shrimp to complete the platter. Word on the street is that it was awesome.

Quality meat, great sauce, good friends. That’s what it’s all about. Sounds like a Hamm’s beer commercial all of a sudden. Hanging out with BatHater was great. He is hilarious and one of the best dressers I know. He also has great taste in cologne, and he’s scared of rodents like no one you’ve ever met. EVER.

Top 5 things about Roscoe’s
1. Sauce
2. Great ribs
3. Pulled pork
4. Super waitress
5. Variety of things on each platter

Bottom 5 things
1. CRAZY hot-air balloon decor
2. Too far away for us to drive to regularly
3. Lots of ugly people in there
4. You will wait a long time if they’re busy
5. Rootbeer not up to the hype

http://www.roscoesbbq.com

Rhinoceros, xTyrantx, Venia, Birth Of A Hero - St. Paul, MN

I hit up Station 4 in St. Paul for a sweet hardcore show on the 31st. Since I’m a bonehead, I completely forgot about the Republican National Convention, and the fact that the entire downtown area of St. Paul was under military protection. I got completely lost due to them re-routing all the roads. I ended up having to circle around the east side of St. Paul and sneaking in one of the side streets. It was worth it. I blame myself.

Birth of a Hero, local Courage Crew act, started it off. It was my first time seeing them, but I knew the signer through one of my previous bands, so I needed to check them out. Most of them had good energy and good sound. One of the guitarists broke a string in the first song (good for him for rockin it out), and took forever to change strings. Someone yelled, “Buy a backup guitar!” I second that. It’s just professional and courteous not to make your audience stand around for what seems like ages. The other guitarist seemed like he was trying hard to play the right notes, which as we all know is not the point of hardcore music. I think Brett, the singer, is a good front man. He’s got a ways to go, but he’s got a great start. I like his style.

Venia played next. I don’t know much about them, but the singer blew his voice out early. They weren’t bad. The singer had on a “god filled” somethingorother shirt and talked about abortion, but he wasn’t preachy about it, so it was fine. He sang as long as he could and tried to get the crowd to sing some to relieve him. They didn’t play anything that really stuck with me and didn’t have a ton of energy, but they were listenable. But I will give these kids credit for dancing for every band. I love to see that, even if I’m too fat and old to do it myself. These kids have fun

xTyrantx played next – that’s who I came to see. John, the singer of this tough guy Courage Crew band, has come a long way from his early days of hardcore. His pipes have gotten better. His stage presence has gotten better. He’s become an amazing shirt designer. We talked about when played in King of Clubz back in the day – it was nice to see him grown up musically and personally. His band has a bunch of good guys in it as well. These guys are pretty tough. I was disappointed because their second vocalist Dave wasn’t there, but John pulled it off really well. These guys are tough. Go check them out. They’ve got a new cd coming out. Can’t wait.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get to see the headliner, Rhinoceros, due to the fact that I had to make a quick trip to the emergency room – see previous post. I’m sure they were good, though.

My favorite local hardcore (kind of) guy was there also. He looks like a slimmer version of Kevin James from King of Queens. He thinks he’s way bigger than he is. He walks with his arms out as if he were too huge to put them at his sides. He wears too small polo shirts and occasionally takes it off. He doesn’t dance all that well, but he protects his face at all costs, to the point of comedy. Classic. I look forward to that guy at every show.

And as usual, Station 4 has great sound. It tends to be a big venue for all ages hardcore shows, but it’s still a good venue.

Top 5 things
1. xTyrantx is tough
2. Birth of a Hero – glad I got to see them finally
3. The Kevin James guy
4. The venue has fans blowing everywhere, so it’s bearable – only venue EVER to do that
5. Sound quality of the venue

Bottom 5 things
1. Venue is too big for hardcore
2. Couldn’t get to the venue due to the RNC
3. Got lost trying to find Jimmy Johns with Tyrant
4. I missed Rhinoceros
5. Waiting for the guitarist to change strings


www.myspace.com/BIRTHOFAHEROMPLS
www.myspace.com/veniamusic
www.myspace.com/xtyrantx
www.myspace.com/rhinoceros716

Fireside Pizza - Richfield, MN

We decided to order pizza last night and wanted to try something new so I used google maps to find a pizza place with a good chance of delivering to us. I called Fireside Pizza and was put on hold. I waited 4 minutes and asked Chao if he thought I should hang up and call again. He told me to wait. After 7 minutes he agreed that they might've forgotten about me. I called back and was put on hold again for about 5 minutes. I figured at this point this was just routine for them. I tried to think of it in a positive way. Such as, "Hey! This place must rule if you have to be put on hold for long periods of time to place an order!" Anyway, I finally placed the order and as I was asking how long it would take for delivery she hung up on me. We weren't in a terrible rush so that was fine.

I can't even tell you how long the pizza took because I wasn't paying attention but if I was forced to guess I would say about an hour. Their pizza is thin crust and we ordered it with breakfast bacon, canadian bacon, pepperoni, and italian sausage (we sort of like meat). Their website declared that they make their sausage fresh daily which sounded promising. I also ordered a full order of garlic bread with cheese because I wanted to ensure leftovers since I am home from work for a few days this week with the pneumonia situation. After living in the suburbs of Chicago for three years I have high standards for pizza. When I think of great thin crust pizza I compare to Rosati's as their thin crust is fantastic. This was just average in comparison. The meat was pretty good but the sauce was just okay. The garlic bread with cheese was big slices of bread covered in garlic butter with a thick layer of cheddar and mozzeralla cheese blend on top and that was super good. This place was way better than Ramy's, but in no way as good as Carbone's which is the best pizza we have had up here so far. I would order from Fireside Pizza again if we need a place that delivers to us (which Carbone's does not) and if they had a good special.

Top 5:
1. Good meat
2. Garlic bread with cheese was good
3. We are in their delivery area
4. Didn't take too long for delivery on a holiday
5. Made decent leftovers

Bottom 5:
1. Kind of expensive
2. Sauce could be better
3. Phone orders take a long time
4. Not enough cheese
5. Average pizza as a whole

http://dinewithfiresidepizza.com/

Rey Azteca - Chanhassen, MN

I’ll just start by saying this past summer, I’ve been totally blown away by a couple different restaurants that happened to be in a strip malls. Rey Azteca was one of those experiences. It was REALLY good. We’ve complained about the lack of quality Mexican food in the Twin Cities and have been lucky enough to find a couple of edible places. It’s outside the cities a ways, but it’s worth the drive.

The place is set in a strip mall with a Cub Foods and other random smaller stores, so it honestly doesn’t look like much on the outside. In fact, once you walk in, it doesn’t look like much on the inside either. You stand in line (if you have to wait for a table) right in the line of traffic. People are eating next to your elbows and you have to keep dodging servers. It’s one of those non-flow layouts.

We didn’t wait long to sit. We ended up ordering some things we didn’t usually get, since we were feeling risky. And we ordered margaritas. The margs were pretty big, so one of us was a little tipsy by the time it was all said and done. But the food was amazing. The chips and salsa were great, including this white cheese/ranch sauce that was served with the salsa. I’m convinced it wasn’t ranch, since I loathe ranch, but apparently there was a small amount of ranch in it. The enchiladas were really good and cheesy, and the chimichangas were especially tasty.

The server brought us our order and then came back 30 seconds later and told me he had given me two of the same chimichangas, instead of one beef and one chicken. I assured him it was fine, and he demanded to bring me out the correct thing, which came out like 2 minutes later. The guy took pride in his work, so I’ll give him super credit for it.

The guy taking money was like the Hispanic Michael Scott (from the Office), except he was kind of a d-bag. Very efficient, but no smiles and kind of ordered people around when they were standing in the line of fire while waiting for a table. Luckily, he was distracted when I went to pay, so I didn’t have to deal with him, but it wasn’t like he was a pro-active jerk, he just wasn’t personable at ALL. That’s who he is and he’s fine with that.

Eat here. It’s really good. Bottom line.

Top 5 things
1. Margaritas were huge, and not terrible
2. The enchiladas were cheesy and good
3. The white cheese/ranch dip ruled
4. Super fast service
5. Our server wouldn’t stand for mistakes

Top 5 bottom things
1. Bad location
2. Money guy
3. Bad layout inside
4. Décor was a little strip-mall-y
5. No mariachi band, as advertised

http://twincities.metromix.com/restaurants/mexican/rey-azteca-mexican-restaurant-chanhassen/313758/content

The Chalet Motel - Duluth, MN

When all of the big name hotels are booked in Duluth, where should you turn? Motels. When we stopped at the Duluth Visitors Center for brochures, we found one that had a list of motels in the area. We began calling and found one with one room left. Dirt cheap. They asked when we could be there and we told them 20 minutes.

We drove straight to the Chalet on London Road without any problem. Gerd said, “We should go check in now and look at the place, so we know how much we have to drink to be able to sleep there.” Turns out, we didn’t need to drink at all.

The place was like an old German chalet with stucco and exposed beams on the exterior. The inside was like a typical one story motel you see in the movies (with the exception of there being a second floor). Blue carpet with blue bed sheets and blue curtains. The bathroom and shower were tiled floor to ceiling with beige and white tiles. But it was livable, and actually quite quaint and quiet (three Q-words). And they had expanded cable (but no internet).

The form we had to fill out was like an index card like in the old days. There was a field on the form entitled “Representing.” Gerd was confused what to put there, so I told her to put South Side The check in guy told us it was the name of the company if they were paying for us. Our bad. Also Gerd told me, “The can of Raid behind the counter was for wasps and hornets, not roaches, so it’s ok that we stay here.”

I did get yelled at for laying on the comforter, but I can only assume I would have gotten yelled at for that anywhere we stayed. I’m a guy, I just don’t think (or care) about stuff like that. Apparently, it’s a big deal that the comforters aren’t washed as often as the sheets. Whatever.

Seriously, it’s under 65 bucks on weekend, and is worth it if you don’t intend to spend a whole ton of time there.

Top 5 things
1. The price
2. Extended cable
3. The room and bathroom were clean
4. Really close to the action, less the 5 minute drive to Canal Street
5. There was a mini fridge for my dew

Bottom 5 things
1. No Internet
2. Still living in the 70’s
3. No online reservations
4. No place to set things in the shower
5. Curtains didn’t cover the window all the way

There’s no website, so don’t bother.

Park Nicollet Methodist Hospital ER - St. Louis Park, MN

Chao and I spent a few hours of our Labor Day weekend in the Emergency Room at Methodist Hospital. I couldn't breathe without a sharp pain in my chest and if I laughed or coughed or inhaled deeply I yelled involuntarily like someone with Tourette's. I finally figured out after awhile that I could pull off a small laugh,which Chao pointed out sounded like Peter Griffin. Of course this made me laugh harder and then yell again. I had been to the convenient care doctor earlier and after a negative chest x-ray and a normal EKG, they sent me home to await blood test results. The doctor called later and told me I should go to the Emergency Room because the test for blood clots came back abnormal.


We headed to the ER and they took me behind the curtain to triage me. Apparently breathing problems are serious so othey took me back right away and I didn't have time to tell Chao I was headed back. They asked me some questions, took vitals, and I asked them if Chao could come back with me and they said they would go get him. Meanwhile they were going to put an IV in because they were planning to do a chest CT scan and they needed the IV to inject the contrast dye. I have been told that being somewhat of a redhead sometimes involves having small veins that are hard to find. Lately, when I have had blood drawn, they have had to use my hand veins because they are superior to my arm veins. However, for a chest CT they have to use an arm vein. The ER nurse tried twice to get a vein and couldn't. She packed my arms with warm packs to aid the process and this was about the time Chao showed up. He sat with me for a few minutes until the IV specialist arrived to give my veins a go. Chao opted to sit in the hallway as he doesn't appreciate needles. The IV specialist tried several times to get a vein, even making use of a sonogram to try and find one. Other ER staff would poke their heads in to see if I had been IVed yet. I was becoming quite the celebrity. I never knew that sticking me with a needle could be a spectator sport. This specialist eventually gave up and called another IV specialist to try. The third person was eventually the charm as she did end up threading a vein but at this point I can't tell you how many stabs I suffered but I can show you how my arm looks now (keep in mind this is only one arm - the other is not as impressive):
At this point, after over an hour of being stabbed with a needle, I was wheeled up to have the CT scan. They told me I would feel warm, have a metallic taste in my mouth and would feel like I have to pee. This was 100% true. It was kind of cool. After that test I was wheeled back downstairs. My nurse was going to take the IV out but I stopped her. I asked if there was absolutely any way I was going to possibly need another IV later if we could just leave that one in. She hesitiated and then agreed to leave it for awhile. I bet people don't normally request to have IV's left in longer than necessary but I knew there was no way I could go through that ordeal again. Chao and I were then left to wait for the results and were checked in on by a hot hospitality dwarf. Seriously though, we both agreed that Alyssa was the hottest dwarf we have ever seen. Then, maybe 15 minutes later, the doctor came back in and told me that I did not have a blood clot, but instead had pneumonia. Way more favorable.



Top 5:
1. Super nice hospital staff.
2. Hot dwarf.
3. They didn't kill me despite their best efforts.
4. I didn't have to wait on them (other than the IV thing) and they had estimated wait times posted.
5. They provided Chao with a chair and water.

Bottom 5:
1. I was their pin cushion for over an hour.
2. I saw lots of my own blood which shouldn't have been the case as I was there for lung problems.
3. There were lots of police escorting people around for whatever reason.
4. No TV's in the rooms.
5. The ventilation system kept running randomly and was loud.

http://www.parknicollet.com/Methodist/