Hala Khaki Lounge - River Grove, IL

As many of you know, D and I enjoy the Polynesian culture and have found ourselves at more tiki bars than we ever admit to anyone. When we were in the Chicago area recently, I knew we needed to check out Hala Kahiki Lounge. I wasn’t sure what we were getting into, but I’m glad we went. 

 

The lounge is in a relatively residential area along the Des Plaines River and it’s an expansive building. Thankfully, it also has an expansive parking lot. People have commented that there are only two windows and you don’t actually know which door to go in – all of that is true, but do your best to find the entrance (the “front” is off the main road, if you consider the parking lot the back – that might help). The bar owners got out of the funeral business and into the tiki culture accidentally buy buying cheap paneling that looked like bamboo. It all makes sense when you walk in the door.

 

Hala Kahiki doesn’t take reservations, so you may have to wait. But, as I said, it’s huuuuuuuge. It just keeps going back. There’s a back room that apparently is sort of private like an event center, and there’s a heated outdoor space (not open when it’s crazy cold, but that makes sense), so just when you think you’re at the back of the building, it just keeps going a little further. You can peruse the small gift shop at the front if you have to wait, but I’d suggest getting your hands on a menu. It’s the largest list of tiki drinks I’ve ever seen. It’s maybe 25 pages and split into 17 different sections. There’s an impressive selection of non-alcoholic tiki drinks, so please bring your sober friends and family here. There are traditional and old familiar tiki drinks, and then there’s a large number of drinks they’ve either invented or borrowed from other famous places. There’s a number of ice cream drinks. And, to no one’s surprise, they are also known for their Malort cocktails – it’s the Chicago Handshake, if you didn’t know. hahaha

 

While you’re headed back to your table, check out the decorations on the walls and ceiling. There’s an incredible number of unique pieces on the walls (and a ton of Will Farrell Elf cardboard cutouts during the holiday season, which is hilarious). 

 

My wife matches the decor. She rules.

It looks like they have a limited food menu on weekend, and maybe some sort of chips and dip offering during the week, so be ready for that. But hopefully, you had a chance to look at the menu ahead of time. It’s really difficult to narrow down the list, but thankfully, we were able to. Also, make sure you’re familiar with the little icons on the menu. A skull and cross bones means it’s strong. A pineapple logo means it’s sort of a lounge favorite. They also go the extra mile and put other notes on the drinks that indicate if something Is spicy or cinnamon-y or floral. Really considerate. I got the Hala Kahiki – I try to get the namesake when I can – and D got the Kokomo with banana.

 

The Hala Kahiki is a combination of a zombie and a scorpion – two of my favorite drinks. What it actually means is that it’s a bunch of rums and a bunch of tropical juices and then topped with overproofed rum. It’s also got a skull and cross bones next to it on the menu, so it’s reeeeeally strong. The juice cuts the bite of the booze and it really is a fantastic drink. I’d highly recommend this drink if you’re new to tiki drinks. It’s what other drinks hope they become when they grow up. 

 

D got the Kokomo, which is sort of a pina colada style drink. DiSaronno, cocoa rum, coconut cream, and non-dairy cream. And, she got it with banana, so it comes blended up and topped with whipped cream. It’s like a banana coconut milkshake and not like most standard tiki drinks. We keep talking about this one, since it’s so good.

I knew I needed (at least) one more drink before we left. Since D’s blended drink was so darn good, I decided to go against my norm and check out the ice cream section of the drink menu. So many of them are good, and my favorite part is they really don’t steer too far from traditional tiki flavors. I decided to check out the Lava Flo – dark rum, coconut cream, bananas, strawberries, pineapple juice, vanilla ice cream, and topped with whipped cream. It was top-notch! Even better than I expected it to be. It even comes with a giant straw so you can suck up the strawberries and not get all clogged up. All the flavors go well together and it’s one cohesive drink, not 5 different flavors. Super glad I got this one as a finisher. 

 

This tiki bar is absolutely worth a special trip out of your way and I’ll be back here for sure. I know there are other tiki bars in the Chicago area, but this one is my kind of vibe – exactly what I was looking for.

 

http://www.chicagotikibar.com

Hala Kahiki Lounge

2834 River Road

River Grove, IL 60171