Patrick McGovern’s Pub – St. Paul, MN

D.Rough has been talking about the Turkey Dinners they have at this place for some time. We actually popped by one afternoon to find out they only served breakfast and a super small lunch menu until about 2. So we took a picture of the waterfall on the patio, had a drink of lemonade, and then walked next door to Cosetta’s for lunch. But we seriously came back the next day AFTER 2 to try out these famed Turkey dishes.

The patio of this place is really nice. Lots of tables on different levels, a nice waterfall, an inside-bar on either side of you with clean restrooms, and very attentive wait staff. The actual for-real menu is REALLY large and has tons of stuff. As usual, in these situations, it’s terribly difficult to decide what to eat. But since the Turkey Dinner was talked up so much, by D.Rough, I thought I’d better go with that. D.Rough got the Turkey Melt, which is kind of an old stand-by for her – she knows it’s delicious. I got a vodka lemonade with Chambord in it and D.Rough got something summery and boozy as well.

The drinks arrived quickly and were just ok. Not life-changing or anything. They were good, especially in the summer. I couldn’t taste much Chambord and D.Rough’s tasted a little watery. But whatever, we weren’t there to get loaded – we were there to hang out and eat. For some reason, my drinks always look much larger than D.Rough's. Weird.

The food came out a short while later and I was pretty impressed. D.Rough’s sammich looked really good, but my dinner was waaay larger than I expected. Multiple large slabs of turkey on top of some bread, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and then everything was covered in gravy. I dug right in and was pleasantly surprised. Everything was perfect – even the stuffing, which I’m not usually a fan of. I questioned whether I was going to finish it all, but I came through with a second burst of hunger towards the end. The meat was very juicy and the gravy wasn’t boring and flavorless, like brown gravy sometimes is. VERY well done, McGovern’s. I loved it.

I had a bite of D.Rough’s sammich and it was pretty delicious as well. A little more compact and hand-held, which is nice at a bar, but I think I’d go with the full Hot Turkey Dinner when I come here. However, there’s a bunch of other things on the menu I need to try as well. We’ll see if I can pull myself away from the Hot Turkey next time.

Top 5 things about Patrick McGovern’s Pub
1. Hot Turkey Dinner
2. Turkey Melt Sammich
3. Outdoor Patio
4. Open last with multiple happy hours
5. Giant menu with lots of tasty looking things

Bottom 5 things
1. Small menu until 2pm
2. Cocktails weren’t very special
3. I think it’s going to be really difficult NOT to get the Hot Turkey Diner every time I go there
4. Wish we had gotten the timing right the first time – either earlier for breakfast or later for full menu action
5. There was some sort of whore birthday party event on the patio while we were there and it got loud and whore-y

www.patmcgoverns.com

Bryn Mawr .10K Triathlon – Minneapolis, MN

TheDoctor has had an idea steeping in his head for a few years now and finally put it into action. It’s a .10K Triathalon. Now go back and read what I just wrote there. POINT TEN KAY. …As in one-tenth of a kilometer. …As in 100 meters. …As in 328 feet. As you can see, the people I hang out with are absolute geniuses on cerebral levels you won’t ever attain. This is... TheDoctor:

Here’s how it breaks down:
First section of the event – a half a block sprint with a 90 degree turn immediately after a challenging downhill elevation change. Half-grass, half-cement (which we were too lazy to sweep before starting the event). Stop at the hydration station before the next section.

Second section of the event – a quarter-block grueling uphill ride on a children’s bike without pedals (called a Strider). Both tires must be on the ground and some portion of the participant’s body must be touching the seat. Maximum weight capacity for this vehicle: 50 lbs.

Final section of the event – 50 ft sprint through the grass to the custom Slip N Slide (also known as a blue tarp covered in liquid dish soap and hosed down with a garden hose). The clock is stopped when the participant reaches the far end of the Slip N Slide.

This is how it looks when done by expert Triathalete, Josh Dibley:



This is how it looks when Chao does it:

The event was an absolute blast and made more fun by the enjoyment of more Skittle-infused vodka!

The second annual Bryn Mawr .10K Triathalon will happen in the summer of 2011, so be on the lookout for registration information. Thanks for hosting such an amazing event, Doctor. Next year, we’ll make sure there’s a first aid kit:)

Chiang Mai Thai – Minneapolis, MN

My boss was in town this past week (her office is out of state), so a coworker (did I mention Trash is now my coworker? It’s awesome and I love it!) and I decided to take her out for some Thai food. I won’t even go into the long story about how our boss told us she’d be ready at 1:30, so we should skip lunch and then when 5pm rolled around, none of us had left the office and were all complaining about it… I won’t do that. We tried to figure out which Thai restaurant to go to and Chiang Mai Thai is always near the top of the list. I guess I haven’t been there in a while, so I’m glad I got to write this one up.

The inside of Chiang Mai Thai is very modern and Asian-inspired. Cool colors, lighting, bar, and ceiling make this a fun place to bring out of towners for quality Thai food. We checked out the drink menu and since it was happy hour, the other people got cheap drinks – I knew the boss was paying, so I got a full-priced girly drink called the Fruit Loop. I don’t know what’s in it, but it’s red and fruity and I love it. (I checked the drink menu online – it’s Absolut Peach Vodka, Stoli Raxberi Vodka, Absolut Mandarin Vodka, with orange, cranberry, and mango juice – brilliant!) The other two got drinks and then sent them back for taller glasses filled with more liquid, since they felt the drinks were too strong. Really.

I will also mention our waiter looked like Bull from Night Court (yes, I’m dating myself, but the resemblance was uncanny). Super nice guy and really helpful, so I’m not making fun or mocking. I’m just sayin’…

We checked out the appetizers and since the boss wasn’t familiar with Thai food, trash and I ordered some appetizers for us all. Trash was angry at the boss for making us skip lunch and since we both knew the boss was buying dinner tonight, decided to run up the bill a bit, just to teach the boss that Trash is not to be trifled with. It really didn’t matter that much, since it was happy hour and the appetizers were on special. We ordered Fresh Spring Rolls (vegetarian, since Trash is of that persuasion), Fried Cream Cheese Wontons, and Fried Cashews. Well played, Trash.

I always want about 10 things on the menu. I usually get it narrowed down to about 5 by the time the waiter shows up. This time was no different. This time, I also was able to decide on my own without the help of the waiter. I went with the Pad Sri Racha. I should have read the description of what I was getting – all I knew was it had Sri Racha (which I love) and it had two fireballs next to it (which I also love).


The appetizers came out pretty quickly. The Cream Cheese Wontons were really good and crispy with lots of cream cheese inside. The Fresh Spring Rolls were also quite good. I think they’re even better with some shrimp or pork in them, but they were quite tasty, regardless. I love these things, so I’m terribly biased about thinking they’re always awesome, but I do think they’re great at this place. But the best and probably the most simple appetizer is the Fried Cashews. They are stir fried in oyster sauce, salt, chili, and cilantro. They’re almost caramel-y and have some zing. They’re awesome. I always forget how much I love these until I have the first one.

Our food came out pretty quickly after that. I don’t think I read the menu right because I thought I was getting some sort of spicy Pad Thai. But what came out for me was not that. I wanted to complain, but it was really good after I had the first bite. I thought it would be a noodle-filled dish, but it was a stir fry of broccoli, carrots, peapods, spinach, mushrooms, zucchini, and napa cabbage stir fried with Sri Racha chili sauce and special spices. The whole thing is served with a bowl of rice and oddly enough, is vegan unless you order it with Chicken like I did – heh heh heh. The spice level was definitely up there – I loved it. The flavor was very fresh and not everything tasted the same. Great textures and heat. This is a fantastic dish, despite not being at all what I thought it would be. I’m glad I got it, after all.

Everyone else seemed thrilled with their dishes as well, so I’m assuming this dinner excursion was a complete success. This is one of my top three Thai restaurants in the twin cities, so I will be back here pretty regularly. And they have an outside seating area that’s pretty big, so I know D.Rough will want to go there with me.

Top 5 things about Chiang Mai Thai
1. Pad Sri Racha
2. Fried Cashews
3. Fresh Spring Rolls
4. Deep Fried Cream Cheese Wontons
5. Fruit Loop (girly drink)

Bottom 5 things
1. It’s really difficult to decide what to eat here
2. We didn’t get to eat outside – not the restaurant’s fault
3. You have to pay for parking ($5)
4. They don’t take reservations past 5:30 – and they didn’t get any sort of rush until about 7
5. I forgot to soak the boss’ expense account and only ordered the one drink – stupid, stupid, stupid

www.chiangmaithai.com

Café Manna – Brookfield, WI

Callous-un had been talking about this vegetarian restaurant for a while, so I curtailed my carnivorous hankerin and we headed to Café Manna to eat some sticks and grass. Hahahaha. I joke.

The hostess that seated us was way out of control happy and chatty. Not in a bad way, just in a super noticeable way. It made me feel like the rest of us were at a wake or something. She was THAT happy. She walked us through the bamboo-floored room, past the non-toxic paint and foyer partitions of recycled plastic, to our bamboo table. The server came over and asked what we’d like to drink: Organic Pinot Grigio for both of us. When the server brought over the wine, she also brought pita chips and Baba Ghanouj. I haven’t had a lot of Baba Ganouj before, but this was a delicious appetizer. Very smooth dip to start our meal out.

I was surprised at the number of items on the menu of this vegetarian place. I expected various combinations of sticks and grass, nuts and berries, and joy-less tofu crumbles, but the menu contained a whole bunch of appetizers, soups, salads, entrees, sandwiches, and desserts. I actually had to decide between a handful of dishes. I finally decided on the Spiced Tempeh and Glazed Soba Noodles. Callous-un opted for the Peace Bowl with Curried Cashew Crunch. Both of our dishes were vegan, according to the menu, so my vegan friends can shut their non-dairy pie-holes now.

The food came out rather quickly, I’m guessing because there was a severe lack of meat that needed to be heated to e.coli-killing temperature. The food looked beautiful on the plates. My Tempeh was one of the best vegetarian dishes I’ve ever eaten, and probably one of the only vegan dishes I’ve ever eaten. It’s pan-sautéed cumin and ginger spiced with buckwheat noodles, asparagus, sugar snap peas, and stir-fried veggies in a sesame tamarind-sake glaze. Seriously, this was delicious. The noodles were firm and tasty and the tempeh was perfectly cooked and not soggy.

Callous-un was less pleased with her meal, the Peace Bowl with Curried Cashew Crunch. Her meal looked like some sort of landscape from Egypt. It had two pyramids surrounded by a delicious-looking curry. One pyramid was made of basmati rice and the other was made of quinoa (it’s like bigger couscous). The coconut curry was filled with a variety of vegetables and topped with a “curried cashew crunch” – still not sure what that was. Callous-un took issue with the vegetables mostly – they weren’t cooked enough for her taste. She expected a bit more smoosh and a bit less crunch. The handful of bites I had were quite good and I liked the crunch, but Callous-un is a veteran vegetarian food consumer and knows better than I. So I guess the moral of this story is if you’re a vegetarian you might not like it, but if you’re an incognito carnivore, you might like this.

The hostess talked Callous-un into getting dessert (all it took was handing her a menu). The hostess talked up the Vegan Chocolate Raspberry Brownie. As the hostess was saying the word “vegan”, all I could hear was M.Giant’s voice in my head replacing the word “vegan” with “joy-less”, and I started chuckling. I had to explain the outburst after the hostess left. Thanks for getting me in trouble in another state, M.

The dessert arrived and looked pretty good. After the first few bites, Callous-un announced she wasn’t thrilled with it as it wasn’t very sweet and was very dense. Upon my own tasting, the top raspberry portion was very good, but the brownie part was just too flavorless for me. The raspberry sauce was good and the green goo (I found out it was mint of some sort) was also delicious. The three blood oranges went to me, since I’m a veteran blood orange eater from way back. This dessert this didn’t win me over to the dessert brigade or anything, so don’t expect to be wowed.

While we were eating, we noticed this lovely family from India sitting nearby. The young girls ordered this horrific looking green drink that made me gag if I saw them drinking it. But the hilarious part was everyone at their table had their own pepper mill, including the father’s pepper mill which was about two feet tall. We were unsure if the family had brought their own individual mills or what. We didn’t see any other tables with peppermills nor saw any staff carrying them around with them. We can only assume this family travels with their own seasoning implements.

I popped (not pooped) in the restroom before I left and was amazed to find a cabinet filled with all kinds of after dinner accoutrements: mouthwash (all organic), crap-spray, lotions, potpourri, etc. I’m not sure if this is a regular vegetarian restaurant thing (you know how… uh… odiferous... vegetarians and vegans can be) or if this is just their thing.

After dinner, we headed downtown to the bar that Coach and I used to hit up that we could never remember the name of. In the past, it’s been Marshall Steve’s, Admiral Gregory’s, and our favorite Captain Magillicutty’s. The actual name is Major Goolsby’s and it’s a decent sports bar that serves girly drinks and standard bar food (which we weren’t interested in). Then we walked around the corner to the Old German Beer Hall, a place where Chicken Little and I hung with the Rat City Roller Girls in 2008. Had another beer there and called it a night.

Top 5 things about Café Manna
1. Peace Bowl with Curried Cashew Crunch
2. Spiced Tempeh with Glazed Soba Noodles
3. Baba Ghanouj
4. The top portion of the Vegan Chocolate Raspberry Brownie
5. Awesome stuff in the bathroom cabinet

Bottom 5 things
1. Significant lack of meat at this place… hahaha
2. Vegan Chocolate Raspberry Brownie
3. Organic Pinot Grigio is not impressive
4. Crunchy vegetables (so says Callous-un)
5. Apparently, it’s rude to laugh when you hear the waitress say “joy-less”

www.cafemanna.com

Ginger Hop - Minneapolis, MN

I was starving after class the other night, so when I got a text from RubyVita, I suggested a late dinner at Ginger Hop, a place she’s familiar with since she lives in Northeast. They serve food until 10, so we made it in plenty of time. We hopped in our respective cars and headed over to Ginger Hop.

The inside of the place is apparently very similar to its prior business, called The Times. It’s pretty dim inside and has a lot of dark wood. It gives the illusion of being upscale without being snobby. It’s a pretty slick atmosphere, actually. The table we got seated at looked really cool with its grooved surface, but in reality, the grooves were the perfect grooves for catching food and spilled drinks and ended up being really sticky and kind of gross. I got over it though.

Ginger Hop has a decent girly drink menu and a pretty good wine list for a small place like this. I was impressed with the number of wines on the list, but still ended up going with a girly drink. I got a Black Pearl - a chocolate martini with Kahlua, Baileys, Frangelico, and Patron XO Café. It was good, but it was almost too chocolatey, since it had a cocoa-lined rim. It’s more of a fun drink than a tasty drink. The way I judge drinks is if I would want to go home and make a pitcher of the drink, then it’s good. This one I don’t need a pitcher of, but it was still good.

The food menu was much smaller than I thought it would be, especially considering how many drinks and wines were on the drink menu. There are like 5 items under each category – salads, soups, noodles, etc. However, don’t let the number of things alarm you, there were more than a handful of items that sounded appealing, so maybe they have just narrowed the number of items while keeping the RIGHT items on the menu. There’s also a section for sandwiches, which really surprised me. But some of the sandwiches sounded pretty awesome.

I ordered the fresh spring rolls, since RubyVita spoke highly of in her review of the place, and I had the waiter decide between the Pad Lao and the Green Curry. He said the Green Curry was spicy, so I went with that. Though, the Pad Lao is also good, so I should come back and get that.

The Spring Rolls came out pretty quickly and looked great. It’s a tad dark in the place, so the photos didn’t turn out fantastic. But these were really good spring rolls. I always try to get these things when I go to Asian restaurants, since they’re my favorite and I like to have a general baseline for comparison when I go to places. These spring rolls were not overly tightly rolled nor loose and floppy or gummy. They were very flavorful. RubyVita got the Cream Cheese Wontons which looked awesome. They were really large fried pillows of cream cheese. And we were both impressed with how perfectly they were fried. Crispy, but still moist enough to not destroy your mouth when you bit into them. And there wasn’t a small dollop of cream cheese in side, there was a huge ball. Awesome.

The food came out and I’m glad I went with the Green Curry. The photo doesn’t do it justice, but it looked beautiful.

The flavor of this dish was better than a lot of green curries I’ve had. The vegetables were crispy and not at all soggy. The chicken pieces were actual chicken, with a mostly shredded chicken breast on the top of the dish. And the best part was the level of spice. Really spicy without bringing tears or making me reach for water. It was great. I would highly recommend the green curry to anyone who loves Thai curry. You won’t be disappointed. I could have used a bit more plain rice with this, but I rationed it so I didn’t run out until the very end of the meal. It’s not like the rice is expensive, am I right?

RubyVita got a Banh Mi sandwich, which is like a Vietnamese-style sandwich with brined pork loin, pate, pickled daikon (whatever that is), carrots, cucumber, cilantro, and jalapeno. She didn’t think it was fantastic as it ended up being a tad dry, but it was edible. It sounded weird enough that I probably would have liked it. Maybe sometime. It comes with sweet potato fries, which she’s not a fan of, so I ate all of them. Hahaha. I’m such a freeloader…

We didn’t’ have any plans, so we sat and gabbed for a long while and had more drinks. I ordered a St. Anthony Sling – blackberry brandy, juniper organic gin, pineapple juice. It was really good, much better than the chocolate martini I had. I’d get this one again, for sure. I wish I wasn’t driving since there are a couple more girly drinks I needed to try. I guess I’ll have to go back a couple of times, won’t I?

I was also told I need to go check out the restroom. It was pretty slick. It had clear fiberglass dividers with long blades of grass trapped between them. It is jus t a really nicely decorated restroom. Don’t forget to check it out.
I liked Ginger Hop. I realize this is based on one experience, but I really liked it. I know Ruby Vita has had some mixed experiences and bad luck with entrees, but for me, I liked it. I’ll likely go back here, though now that RubyVita has moved out of Northeast, I’ll have to plan ahead of time or go with someone else (and face the wrath of RubyVita when she finds out).

Top 5 things about Ginger Hop
1. Green Curry
2. Fresh Spring Rolls
3. Cream Cheese Wontons
4. St. Anthony Sling
5. Fantastic drink menu

Bottom 5 things
1. I still wish Gerd would have had a chance to meet RubyVita – we talked about Gerd a lot and her taste in food and music during dinner. Gerd would have loved this food and the conversation, fo sho
2. Grooved table kind of grossed me out a bit – that’s difficult to do
3. There weren’t very many people inside at all, so I’m hoping it stays open
4. Parking isn’t the greatest during the day (like most of Northeast), but was fine after 9pm
5. Small food menu (but it had the right items, so it’s not necessarily a bad thing, in reality)

www.gingerhop.com

Toobing on the Comal River – New Braunfels, TX

Yes, the place actually spells it with 2 “o”s. (It’s going to be painful for me to actually write it that way, but I’ll do it, so you’re as annoyed as I am with it.) My nephew and his wife have been talking about this place in San Antonio where you can go tubing on the Comal River. It’s sort of a natural river where they landscaped the sides and put in some awesome “tube shoots” and you can kill an entire day lounging and drinking on the water.

After lunch, we drove up to New Braunfels and found the park at the start of the toobing place. Bikinis and d-bags as far as the eye can see. DeliveryBoy and Amanda Hugginkiss had been here a few weeks back, so they knew the routine. Fill up a cooler with tasty beverages, go rent toobs and an extra tube for the cooler, and hop in the water. We got all signed up and sunscreened up and carried our toobs towards the drop in point on the river. There are police everywhere. I’m guessing a hundred monitor the start area and all along the river itself, watching for underage drinking, drugs, drowning, etc. A cop stopped us and told us we had an unauthorized cooler. Apparently, the size limit is 16 quarts on the cooler. Ours was in the neighborhood of 40+ qts. Whoops. We didn’t know.

DeliveryBoy and I hopped one of the shuttles back to the rental place. Along the way, the shuttle driver stopped the bus to openly stare at a girl in a bikini. He was hilarious. We got back and made the swap of the cooler – we had to pay an additional $4 to rent one of theirs. Then we watched a girl complaining to the rental staff that she couldn’t swim, oh yeah, and also, she had just had surgery on her arm and it couldn’t get wet. See what kind of morons toobing brings out? We started transferring refreshments and the guy watching us said we couldn’t have glass bottle on the river. Well, our refreshment supply was cut in half due to that. Bummer. But in the long run, probably for the best. We left our cooler, hopped back on the shuttle and went back to meet Coach and Amanda Hugginkiss.

We headed towards the water, made it past the police and began what would amount to christmas morning if it involved almost no clothing whatsoever and NONE of my relatives. There was very little clothing out on the river and most of it was a welcome sight. A few sights were very unwelcome, but a couple of Strongbows would take the bite off of those particular views. We put in our tubs in the chilly water and set off at the slowest pace I’ve ever travelled. I have sat in bathtubs with a stronger current. It took us a while to actually move more than 30 feet since there were soooo many people. But the water was nice and cool without being frigid.

Amanda Hugginkiss was getting annoyed with these high maintenance girls who kept saying, “I don’t want to get wet” and “quit splashing me” and putting on makeup like idiots. We mocked them most of the trip, since why the heck would you get into a tube in the water if you wanted to stay dry? Morons.

The first thing that happens is you see signs above you saying “weak swimmers get out here”. Uh Oh. Then you see signs for the “tube shoots”. I didn’t know what this meant, but DeliveryBoy and Amanda Hugginkiss just smiled and laughed when Coach and I kept asking about it. We found out. There’s a small dam right after the drop off point. It’s all roped off, so you can’t go over the falls. But it funnels you into a man-made concrete chute about 8 feet wide that launches you like a water slide down into the river below. And you have no hope of any part of you or your things staying dry. Remember those high maintenance toobers? Yeah, they were NOT happy. Nor were their cameras or blackberries. Hahahaha

We popped open the Strongbows and commenced a long afternoon of drinking and floating.


Again, the current was almost nonexistent, so we might have travelled a half mile (I have no idea) in about 4 or 5 hours. During this time, coach tried to hop back into his toob before another tube shoot and immediately flipped over. It was classic. Everyone in the area was cracking up as coach watched his feet go over his own head.


Every time I would go through one of the tube shoots, I would get hung up just before the shoot – NO, I wasn’t bottoming out or anything, just got hung up in some weird back current. Then immediately after the shoot, I would get trapped in the current and pinned to the opposite wall of the place. Everyone else would float past me and head down the river and I would have to paddle like mad to get away from the wall and catch up to the group. Apparently the laws of physics don’t’ apply to me in toobing, the same way they don’t apply to my golf game.

I have sooo many stories to tell and I don’t want to write 14 pages for this post, so I’ll try to slim it down to the highlights:

Coach’s limit is 2.5 Strongbows – he had 3. Then things got hilarious.
DeliveryBoy realized Coach was over his limit when Coach proclaimed “I don’t even care anymore. I’m just openly staring”, which was hilarious because I don’t think his eyes were focusing at that point. Plus by that time, it was a floating sausage fest…
Coach doesn’t even need girls around for him to yell “show us yer boobs”
There were multiple tiny Chihuahuas with male owners out on the water
Coach asked a ton of random small boys with fishing poles if they were fishing for people
Whenever any females mentioned they almost lost their tops, my camera became activated


One of the most hilarious moments was when we passed a group of scrawny rednecks who were completely soused. They were arguing over college football. One of them got all bent out of shape when one of the other rednecks smack-talked University of Texas. They tried to get out of the water to fist fight, but neither of them had enough balance to walk up the grass on the bank. Seriously, these guys wouldn’t be driving anywhere soon. Then, when the one belligerent guy gave up, his friend yelled, “Texas loves boys!” and it started a whole other fight. Best comeback ever. Then while all this was going on, the other rednecks were getting loud with random people floating by. “Who’s your team!? WHO IS YOUR TEAM????!!!! F*%k you!!!” You gotta love Amurka.

We got to the end and tried to get out of the water. Coach had had 3, and was reminding us his limit was 2.5. When Amanda Hugginkiss realized she could totally mess with Coach, she’d pretend to help him out of the water, then push him back in. Classic comedy! It took Coach like 10 minutes to actually make it out of the water.

I'm not sure if you had guy friends who loved to play the game "slap your shirtless friend really hard and leave a mark", but I know we did. We saw a kid with the champion of handprints on his back. Seriously, you could draw a beak and legs on it and use it for a Thanksgiving turkey it was so clearly defined (and HAD to have been painful).

Coach hadn’t peed the whole time on the river, so he ran/staggered towards the portapotties. As it turns out, he went into the stall marked women. When we mocked him about it, he got all loud and yelled “if they didn’t want guys to use them, they wouldn’t put urinals in there!”

On the way back to the rental place to pick up our keys and cooler, I witnessed a lovely discussion about areolas from the girls next to me. They were… ummm… comparing them. Best vacation ever.

Walking back to the car, Coach took a little stumble, but played it off by grabbing DeliveryBoy’s shoulder for support and hugging him as if it were intentional. Then he reminded us for the 93rd time that his limit was 2.5 Strongbows and he had had three.


Top 5 things about toobing on the Comal River
1. Perfect weather for tubing
2. Concentrated boobs
3. The fight about college football
4. Seeing high maintenance toobers shaking water out of their blackberries and looking like drowned rats (whorish drowned rats)
5. Hearing Coach’s limit 93 times – it should have been a drinking game for us, not that we needed the help

Bottom 5 things
1. Gerd would have loved this ridiculous trip, even though it would have been too hot, too sunny, too wet, too slow, and too many drunk people
2. These people should learn how to spell tube
3. 16 qts is not a very big cooler
4. We didn’t know about the cooler limit NOR the glass restriction (even though both make sense)
5. I apparently missed a swath of my chest with the sunscreen

www.rockinr.com

Beaver Ranch Disc Golf Course – Conifer, CO

A couple of randoms I played a round of golf with on Saturday suggested I play Conifer while I was out here. I wasn’t impressed with the Johnny Roberts course, so I was looking for something a tad more adventurous. I hooked up the GPS and headed out into the mountains.

Which is funny because the GPS hates mountains.

I ended up using the directions posted on the PDGA course directory. Thankfully, the PDGA does this because I never would have found the place.

I pulled into the parking lot and read the last part of the directions on the PDGA directions which says you’ll have to walk a half mile to the first hole after you leave your car in the parking lot. Surely that couldn’t be right! Sadly, it was very accurate.

I walked out into the hills along the trail and eventually made it to the first tee. I could tell this course was going to be a winner. It was a fairly short hole, but it was at a 60 degree angle straight up. I threw my first shot straight into the woods on the right. Excellent start to the day. When I found my disc in the woods (and on the side of the hill), it was covered in sap, and no w it was all over my hands. Hahaha. Perfect.

Please don’t get the wrong impression. As I said in my review of Johnny Roberts that I played on Saturday, I haven’t played much this year, so I’m bound to be a little sporadic. But that isn’t the course’s fault. I won’t go through this course hole by hole for you, as much as I want to (and I DID take pictures on every hole), but the long and short of it is, I love this course.

This course is not terribly long at all. Every hole out here is driveable as long as you are accurate. That being said, this course isn’t easy. There’s tons of elevation changes (oddly, most of them are uphill – haha), and lots of narrow fairways. Not ridiculously tight fairways, but still visually intimidating. If you would have tried to describe this course to me before I played it, I might not have been excited to play it. But now, after I’ve seen it, I loved it. Perfect level of difficulty for new players and experienced players alike.

There were lots of fun touches on this course. For example, some of the holes with steep slopes behind the baskets, the players have erected small tree-trunk walls to stop errant discs from rolling a thousand feet. You’ll still roll 100 feet, but not much further than that.

Also, there’s a small picnic area with actual outside furniture at the top of the mountain and an outhouse right next to it. I saw ZERO trash on this course which is rare for a public course. Not even cigarette butts. The grass is either stomped down or cut every you might throw a disc. The walks between holes are very well defined so you don’t get lost at all. Whoever maintains this course needs a pat on the back and raise. It’s in GREAT condition.

I’m going to disc-geek-out here for a second: There’s the usual “discs don’t turn over at high altitudes” thing that I completely forgot about. Not sure what elevation that starts at, but apparently, this course is high enough that you can’t get even the most understable discs to turn over. I was throwing leopards and an occasional stratus and they weren’t turning over even if I crushed them. Just a warning.

And of course, there’s the altitude issue on your lungs when you’re climbing hills like this. Seriously. I had to stop and catch my breath waaaaay too often here. But it’s worth it. Especially when you see some of the views.

Be careful pulling into or out of the parking lot at this park. There is a huge speed bump that you can’t see (because it’s the same red gravel as the road), and I brutalized my rental car on the way in and the way out – because I forgot about it on the way out. Wow. Just play this course if you come to Denver. You’ll like it, even though it’s not a championship/grueling course. It was simply FUN to play.

Top 5 things about Beaver Ranch Disc Golf Course
1. Incredible course design overall
2. Fences to stop rollaways, but not errant shots
3. I love playing in pine trees
4. Perfect weather – 70’s and no wind and just a little sun
5. Picnic area with restrooms

Bottom 5 things
1. It’s 45 mins from downtown Denver, so I’m guessing this place doesn’t get as much play as it deserves
2. Lots of elevation means your calves and thighs burn after playing
3. High altitude affects the stability of your discs
4. High altitude affects your lungs
5. Half-mile hike was long, but worth it

http://www.pdga.org/course-details?id=2883

Canoe Trip – Maquoketa/Canton, IA

Once or twice a year, a group of us have been canoeing down the Maquoketa River in Eastern Iowa. This year, we set a date and invited most of the regulars and had a couple out of towners (seriously we had one from Chicago and one from Denver!). When we tell people we are going canoeing, I think they get the wrong impression. I assure them we’re not at all outdoorsy people, it’s basically a floating bar party, as you will see in the photos.

We started off meeting at Subway in the early morning to pick up sammiches for lunch. We were a tad concerned when we saw the torrential downpour and the black thunder clouds rolling in, but Coach convinced us that it would blow over.


We rounded everyone up, once Belcher got there (she’ll never change), and hit the road. 30 seconds later, we were already down a car. TinyDancer and Marty had car trouble and had to get towed. We were all like, “So long, suckers!!!!” (I’m totally kidding, they told us to go one without them, and we did – which sucked because they’re super fun.) The rain was coming to a halt, thankfully!

We pulled into the parking lot next to the river and started unloading our gear. And by gear, I mean coolers full of beverages. The Anderson Canoe Rental people came and picked us up in nice air conditioned vans and took us to the launch point.

When we got out, these people helped us unload coolers and water guns and bags and such right near the canoes (the royal treatment compared to what we’ve had before). Then the people helped us put our canoes in the water and held the boats steady while we hopped in (again, the royal treatment). And for the final sprinkle of bacon on the cake, these canoes had MANY cup holders!!!!! It’s like they knew we were coming and would need these things.

I could go on and on how awesome this trip was, but I’ll give you some highlights:
• Coach standing up in the canoe brandishing his oar like a Tusken Raider (or sandpeople, for those people not in “the know”)

• Roachie lost his balance and dove out of his canoe so as not to drown his entire family by trying to save himself

• Waaaaay too much oar-guitar going on, though Pul-Chevy did bust out the double-oar-bass for his Spinal Tap solo

• TomB and Alley-Handra’s rubber duckie being towed by their canoe

• Pul-Chevy having to stop every 15 minutes to pee and then not even phased when we were all talking to him while he was trying to go. He did have some sweet moves though…

• ImposterChao and Nutmeg did not blow away this year like they did on a previous trip
• Coach broke edge and had a couple drinks. Oh wait, he wasn’t edge…

• Mr. Burns kept switching canoes, so we’d lose track of him every once in a while

• Callous-un’s head got in the way of a large ice-cube-grenade I threw and it scrambled her judgment a little. Then she motorboated a 5 year old boy. Don’t ask…
• Cthulu caved due to all of our harassment and took of his fanny pack
• PulChevy and Callous-un threading the needle everytime there was more than a 3 foot wide gap in the rocks. It’s even more hilarious that no one noticed or cared
• Mizinformation took a tennis ball to the face (compliments of OrrmanRyan) that broke her glasses
• A REALLY deep discussion about gay/straight men/women and who likes boobs the most. (The answer is ImposterChao does!)(read his shirt in the photo below)

• Toach’s ability to bust into ANY song we mentioned lyrics to within 1 second of hearing the line. Mambo #5 was the first, then some Til Tuesday, then it just got weird. She also missed the tops of her feet with the sunscreen – ouch ouch ouch
• Tree branch limbo
• Roachie tried to swing from this large vine hanging from a tree into the river. He didn’t make it.

• EyeHeartPizza asked Callous-un if she could borrow her bag of marshmallows. Then when she got them, she immediately began pelting people with them. Oh, and then she accidentally bounced the entire bag off of Raimie’s head and the bag went into the water.
• There were many (seriously MANY) beverages consumed on this trip. Despite the fact that I did not bring my patented Black Forest Cake beverage – and heard about it like 36 times that day – the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster seemed to be a success with this crowd.
• Easy cheese is the universe’s way of giving canoe trips the thumbs up

I know there are other stories, but you guys will get sick of not understanding my inside jokes with the canoe people. Suffice it to say, this was one of the best canoe trips ever. No one got belligerent. No one tipped their canoe (though it was close a couple of times). We all mixed and mingled canoeing positions. And we did next to ZERO actual paddling.








Top 5 things about the Canoe Trip in Maquoketa
1. I still have awesome friends in Illinois/Iowa. I would take a bullet for any of them, as long as that bullet were made of orange sherbet
2. Classy canoes with drink holders
3. Gallons and gallons of tasty beverages consumed on a river
4. The weather and river level cooperated unlike last year
5. I did NOT get sunburned this trip, like I have EVERY other time. Everytime PulChevy would pee, I’d reapply sunscreen (kidding)

Bottom 5 things
1. Gerd should have been on this trip, since the trip got flooded out last year. She would have hated and loved every minute of this trip
2. Kanoo and Mariesa and Tekmet and Sarah couldn’t make it this year. They’re charter members of the canoe crew
3. Mizinformation’s broken glasses
4. I have an aversion to sand, which I have to deal with every year when I do this. This year was particularly bad for some reason. Don’t ask.
5. Coach did not yell “merit badge” often enough. We drink when he talks about the canoeing merit badge he got in 1978. So it’s his fault if anyone got dehydrated. Rude.

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