Icky Ricky's - Kenosha, WI

Seriously, that's the name of this bar.

And it looks like they just doctored some of the existing letters from the former bar's "sign".

I didn't go in.

Shirtless - Niagara Falls, NY

For the record, the Niagara Falls State Park patrols will NOT yell at you if you take your shirt off at Niagara Falls in the middle of the night. File that for future reference, people...

2010 Annual Canoe Trip – Mequoketa, IA

Every year, a group of Quad Citians and I have gone on an awesome canoe trip. Each year, it is awesome, no mater what the weather or who comes along for the ride. This year was no different. In fact, I even tricked a couple of people into coming down from Minnesota with me for the weekend. They loved every second of it.

I can’t even begin to go into details about everything that happened on this trip, but I CAN give you some highlights.

Yes, we ARE putting EZ Cheese on beef sticks and eating them. Delicious idea, Kanoo.

We aren’t sure if Coach is praying for continued good weather, or trying to catch some food-related object.

Minnesota’s own B.Sweet demonstrates the proper veloceraptor claw style of kung-fu. Yes, folks – those sideburns are for real.

This photo makes it look like we’re doing considerable paddling. It’s a total farce. I think I paddled exactly 13 times.

ImposterChao wins the boobie prize. Oh wait, he actually BROUGHT the boobie prize!

Chao partakes in some high-octane beverages… from time to time…

Yes, that is alcohol-infused whipped cream being consumed straight from the tap. Brilliant idea!

Someone didn’t have a sunscreen buddy, did they?

Stop for a quick lunch break.

Coach wants a piece of the dirty boobie prize.


Mr. Burns loves the boobie prize, too!


Don’t mess with D.Rough.

…Or her minions…

Man overboard!!!!

Random stragglers. Cute random stragglers:)

“Train don’t run outta Witchita. Less’n you’re a cattle, or a hog. People train runs outta Stubbville.”

People get upset when you take their photo right after they’ve tipped their canoe and lost various items… Who would have known?!

This year was a super fun trip and we all had a blast. Look at all the smiles in the photos – that ways it all. Only two canoe tips this year! Wait, One canoe, but it tipped TWICE, didn’t it, SecretMeat?....

C&G Smoking Barbeque – Minneapolis, MN

My father was in town visiting, and I had to come up with an idea for lunch. I had read a review of this place that mentioned it had loose meat sandwiches like the Maid-Rite in Illinois. The Maid-Rite is one of my father’s favorite restaurants in the world, so I thought we’d both try this new place together. And the C&G Smoking Barbeque is relatively close to my neighborhood – It’s on Nicollet and 47th. I knew it had just opened according to the other review I had read. In fact, there is still a grand opening sign still on the grass out front.

There’s a small parking lot outside the building that houses a gas station, a gluten-free, dairy-free, ice cream and treat shop, and C&G Smoking Barbeque. We found a spot and strode in like we owned the place, which was funny because we saw the guy that DID actually own the place back in the kitchen.

The place had four tables with three chair each at it. I’m no mathmatologist, but that means that 12 people MAX fit in this place. Just a warning, you might be eating your food outside. Thankfully, we got a table.

There are hand-written dry-erase board signs in this place for menus. And another one for daily specials. From the review I had read, I knew I wanted to order the loose burger and the hot water bread. I didn’t know what either one was, but I was going to do it anyway. I knew I had to get the loose burger without onions or mustard, which are actually the condiments that generally arrive on the thing. My father ordered the loose burger and some baked beans. I saw they had a ton of other things I needed to try as well as adding this place to the 2009 Twin Cities Rib Quest list, so I would be back, no matter the food turned out. Thankfully, it gave me hope for the ribs. The guy that took our order was super helpful and made sure we got what we needed, and was generally a super nice guy.

The food came out and wasn’t at all what we expected.

The hot water bread was really interesting. It was good, also, but it was more interesting than good. It was like deep-fried corn meal nuggets. Or maybe cornbread deep fried. Really awesome idea and I think they would go good with the ribs I’ll be ordering next time I go here. The baked beans were some of the best I’ve ever had. Know why? Because they have ground beef and beef brisket cooked in with the beans. The guys from C&G are dead serious about their beans. The first bite I stole from my father’s beans was good. The second one was even better. I’m assuming they would just keep getting better, but he totally cut me off after bite two. But he did confirm they got better with each bite. In fact, and I’m not kidding you, my father walked over to another table who was preparing to order and basically demanded they get the baked beans. The best he’s ever had. He brought his bowl of beans to their table and moved things around with his fork while raving about it. It was seriously awesome. My dad rules. He’d better rule, since I’m turning into a longer-haired version of him (which my friends point out with glee everytime it happens).

The loose burgers were not at all what we thought they were going to be. It was in fact loose meat, but it was in a hot dog bun and then there was chili poured on top. It doesn’t really lend itself to eating like a hotdog, as it would get quite messy REALLY quickly. So basically, what you have is a chili dog but without the dog. I understand these things are a Detroit staple, so there’s your culinary history lesson for the day. It was good chili and not spicy enough that my dad couldn’t eat it, which was my first concern. In fact, he even put ketchup on it. Maybe he was trying to jazz it up a bit. It was not Heinz ketchup which we all know is the best, but rather Chef’s Quality ketchup. I didn’t even try it, so I won’t make any comments about that.

After we finished, we raved about the food to the guy behind the counter and in fact, I sent out a couple of text to Low-Vee and HotGirlsBrother to let them know we WOULD be going here for the Rib Quest and it was awesome. So we told the guy we were in fact spreading the word as we spoke about how good it was. The cook came out from the back to make sure our food was good and we assured him it was fantastic and I would be back for sure. Despite the fact that “sandwiches” was spelled “sandwhiches”, I think this place has a lot going for it, and I’m hoping I get to be enough of a regular that they recognize me. It was fantastic. I’m crossing my fingers for the ribs. I generally try not to do two reviews of a place, but I’ll make the exception for the Rib Quest.
And Low-Vee, they do have moist towlettes (or mouse toilets as my nephew Stealth Buffalo calls them). They’re also open until like 10pm, which is awesome for us being on weird work schedules.

Top 5 things about C&G Smoking Barbeque
1. Homemade baked beans
2. Loose burgers
3. Hot water bread
4. They have Dew
5. Super awesome people run this place

Bottom 5 things
1. Gerd would have been house hunting in this neighborhood so we could have moved closer to C&G
2. The hand drawn signs (which I realize might be there temporarily) with misspellings
3. Chef’s Quality ketchup
4. NO bathroom
5. It’s small, so you’d better get there early enough to score a table

Sunday Brunch with the Jensens – Minneapolis, MN

As I mentioned in a previous post, Gerd and I have some friends who meet regularly for brunch on Sundays. The Jensens are a group of girls who are completely unrelated, but share the same exact last name – weird. But the Jensens invite all their friends with differing last names and it’s a rip roaring time. I went last weekend and kicked myself for not going over the past few months. It’s soooo much fun talking with smart people about books, politics, music, aMURka!, films, sports we hate and everything else that comes up. (I would love to give everyone a hilarious nickname, but I’m truly just not that creative.)

This week, the adventure started at the VFW for drinks at 11:30, and then we would head to the Country Bar for eating. And yes, that’s 11:30am. First off there’s all kinds of signage about being a member only (not the sweet jacket from the 80s) and you had to buzz a buzzer to get in. Seriously, it was kind of intimidating, I’ll admit it. They let us in anyway. Many of us. We threw back 3 or 4 or 5 drinks each and played some darts and talked about the most hilarious stuff. The drinks here are dirt cheap – they’re called “eye openers”. I think I spent 7 bucks buying a ROUND of drinks. Why? Because this is aMURka!

Some highlights from the VFW include the people that had to call a cab to drive them home when we arrived. Did I mention we got there at 11:30am? This brought our own conversation around to “did these people get there at 11 when they opened and pounded like 10 drinks, or were they still there from last night? If they got there at 11, they were drunks. If they were continuing their evening, then they were animals. BIG difference. Also, we had a Cujo conversation and I got to defend Lea Thompson for being hot. HotGirlsBrother played darts with a girl and somehow managed to finish the round by scoring two bullseyes but accidentally for the other girl. It was hilarious because he was genuinely angry about his turn of fate. Ha ha.

We headed to the Country Bar down the block to eat something (we walked, don’t worry). This was my first time in the place, so it was a little odd for me. This is a country bar staffed by Asians and they serve Mexican and Cajun breakfasts. It’s definitely country though. Here’s a shot of the inside, which has never seen a swiffer duster since it’s opened.

We ordered more drinks (dur) and our breakfasts. I got a Cajun breakfast which was really quite good, though a bit oniony. A couple of eggs, some hashbrowns, scrambled with Cajun sausage, peppers and onions. Not really spicy, but had good flavor, so I won’t complain. Don’t get me wrong, this is a bar that just happens to serve breakfast, but it’s a pretty good breakfast. The table ordered the jalapeno cheese curds, and they were absolutely delicious. I might go back, just to get those sometime. People will fight over these things. In fact everybody’s breakfasts looked good and people talked about how good the food was. I don’t think you could get anything bad here for breakfast. It is all good food.

There was again, more hilarious table conversation and yelling and drinking of beverages, comic book-to-movie talk, and stealing of food – these people know how to have a good time. HotGirlsBrother ended up playing darts with some of the locals and one of the Asian cooks. But not until two of the locals put Dio’s Holy Diver on the jukebox. Seriously, in a country bar. That rules on 34 different levels. The other locals were well into the drinks and it was sooo hilarious to watch not-drunk-enough-HotGirlsBrother try to comprehend what the drunk local was talking about. At one point, I heard drunk local yell, “You tryin to re-gull-ate like Bill Clinton, brotha.” Everyone seemed confused. Really hilarious though.

Since I love reviewing restrooms, I thought I’d do this one for you. Let’s just say it’s a restroom for five. Let’s also say it’s a restroom I might think again about using. Room for four at the trough and then one throne. It’s kind of difficult to see, but there also isn’t any toilet paper. Apparently this is a regular thing as a number of people, including the locals and the staff, commented on it. Like I said, I might just hold it if I were you. Yes, that is a bucket under the trough. Yes, that is a kerosene space heater next to the non-functional steam heater. I’m glad you asked.

Seriously, this is a fun place to hang out with a crowd of people or if you want a cheap and easy breakfast, especially if said breakfast includes spicy cheese curds. Gerd, you would have been horrified, but loved every minute of this brunch!

Top 5 things about this week’s Jensen brunch
1. Cheese curds
2. Lost track of how many drinks I had before 1pm - hilarious
3. Cajun breakfast
4. Intelligent but drink-infused conversation deserves Pulitzer prizes all around!
5. Dio at a country bar run by Asians serving Cajun food

Bottom 5 things
1. Gerd would have complained and then told everyone how awesome it was
2. Country Bar restroom
3. Watching someone clean their fork in a pitcher of beer – don’t ask
4. I found out gay guys do not automatically think construction workers are erotic – blew my mind!
5. Fort Knox of VFWs – actually this was more funny than frightening

Sunday Brunch with the Jensens - CC Club – Minneapolis, MN

A group of Gerd and I’s friends get together some Sundays to have brunch at various places around the Twin Cities and we’ve never gotten to go. Well, I actually went this time, just to shock them all. The place was the CC Club, which is kind of a dive bar that serves some decent breakfast and lunch bar food.

I was actually the first one there, which I should have anticipated. Eventually, about 20 of their/our friends showed up, and we had a great time. Add in a couple of screwdrivers or bloody mar’s and you’ve got yourself a real breakfast.

The breakfast I got was awesome. The meat omelets was filled with sausages and ham and bacon, and the American fries were perfectly seasoned – in fact three other people ate most of my potatoes. I know most breakfast places are difficult to differentiate, but this was pretty good bar food. Not too much, not too little, and very flavorful. What else can you ask? (aside from a couple of high octane drinks..)

I’d recommend this place, but realize you’re going to get bar food breakfast. Quality bar food, but it’s still eggs, bacon, and toast. Also, I’ll be hanging with these guys more. For not being librarians like Gerd and I, they sure read a lot of books and hang out with book clubs.

Top 5 things about the CC Club
1. American fries and their awesome seasoning
2. Screwdrivers for breakfast (even though it was after noon)
3. Super meaty omelet
4. They have room for 20 people in a group
5. Super awesome jukebox full of metal

Bottom 5 things
1. Still bar food in a dive bar
2. They seemed to have taken a lot of the appetizers off the menu (poppers, cheese sticks)
3. I heard the restrooms were scary
4. There is a water/coffee server, and also a drinks/food server. They don’t do things the other one does
5. I wish I knew what “CC” stands for

http://www.myspace.com/theccclub

Meshuggah, Cynic, The Faceless – Station 4 – St. Paul, MN

For those that don’t know, I’ve been a Meshuggah fan since day one, since their early EP and stuff that got re-released with better quality later. They are amazing musicians and I would have paid a lot more money than I did to see them at Station 4.

I missed most of The Faceless, but what I heard I liked. Although when I walked in, there was some pretty fruity singing going on. The sound quality was sub-par as usual for Station 4, but you could still hear the drums enough to know the guy was talented. When the drums stopped, you could hear the guitarist noodling about so I know those guys are pretty good as well. Everything else got lost in the mix. They’ve got some heavy breakdowns which got the crowd all keyed up, which is nice to see as well.

I found my friend HotGirlsBrother after The Faceless and we talked about how we, as musicians, SHOULD like Cynic, but just can’t bring ourselves to do it. This wasn’t going to be the show that changed our minds either. The singer had one of those weird octivator things on his vocal mike so he sounded like Cher in “Do you believe in love”. That got really annoying after about the first 10 seconds. The guitarists didn’t move around all that much and when they did, I would think, “Well, that’s an odd time to be banging your head.” The bass player was amazing though. Fretless 5-string and he used all of it. VERY fun to listen to. The guitarist played Steinbergers (the guitars without headstocks that I loathe just on principle – how can you spear people in the face without a headstock?). They were both really good and played some difficult and full chords. However that was kind of lost in the mix and the extra-fruity singing. At one point, I think the guitarist was singing over and over about a spaceman – what the heck is that all about? The drummer was amazing, both feet and hands. Here is how I described Cynic to HotGirlsBrother – “It sounds like The Mars Volta ruined by blazing guitar solos and double bass.” If I want to hear the Mars Volta, I’ll listen to them. In fact, I love them. I don’t love Cynic. NEXT!

Meshuggah was brilliant as always. Fortunately, we stood on the side of the stage near Frederick Thordendal, the lead guitarist of this band. At Station 4, you’re only going to get to hear one guitar and we chose the correct side of the stage to hear the main guy. Brilliant playing and weird but appropriate solos. The drummer is a freak of nature. I don’t know how he does what he does and so effortlessly and flawlessly, but he’s incredible. The bass player often gets overlooked, but he was dead on. The vocalist is, in my opinion, one of the best front men ever. He’s a minimalist on stage, so he’s not running around. But when he sings and even when he’s letting the band do their thing, he is an imposing force on stage. He might weigh all of 150 pounds, has a shaved head and a manicured beard. But he looks mean and HUGE on stage, even though he’s not. I would see Meshuggah again and again. They had some technical difficulties during their last song - Future Breed Machine. They gave the beginning a couple of attempts (since it’s kind of a weird talk-box sample thing) and when it didn’t work, they just started where the actual music started. True professionals. They played a lot of newer stuff which is amazing and fast and the older stuff is slower and technical – it was a good mix.

Top 5 things about this show
1. Meshuggah
2. Cynic’s bass player
3. The Faceless (what I could hear)
4. I love HotGirlsBrother and his friends
5. Drummer for Meshuggah

Bottom 5 things
1. Cynic in general
2. Sound quality at the venue
3. Show was sold out so hundreds of dirty sweaty metal people
4. One of the Meshuggah zip-up hoodies was SEVENTY dollars
5. Did I mention Cynic?...

www.meshuggah.net
www.myspace.com/cyniconline
www.myspace.com/thefaceless

Chapala – Waterloo, IA

We were driving home from Illinois when we got hungry for Mexican food. As we’ve said, it’s pretty hit or miss in the Twin Cities, so we figured we’d eat it when we saw someplace good. We’d driven by this place a few times (it’s just off of US 218) and it always seemed busy and didn’t seem all fancified – a sure sign it was a good place to eat. Plus, there was a chubby statue of liberty inflatable yard thing out in front of the store next door and I had to get a close up. Ha ha.

The place is decorated really nicely. The tables are seemingly hand painted then lacquered, so they all had a unique feel to them. The walls are painted like large stones and had big pillars in the doorways so it could easily be converted into a sort of greek restaurant if they needed to. We got seated right behind this guy with a hilariously terrible mullet in a pony tail. It was like a train wreck – I couldn’t look away.

The staff were super nice and helpful and we decided to eat light so we didn’t fall asleep on the rest of the drive back home. We got a cheese crisp and a chimichanga. The cheese crisp was really big and had multiple kinds of cheeses on it. It was one of the best we’ve ever had (also they don’t have cheese crisps in the Twin Cities – weird). The chimichanga was filled with shredded beef which was cooked in some awesome sauce. REALLY flavorful and one of the better shredded beef concoctions I’ve had. The beans and rice were fairly standard, but were good.

We would eat here again, fo sure. The menu was really large and had some good combinations on it. And since know they have Dew, it’s moved up the ladder of restaurants in Waterloo.

Top 5 things about Chapala
1. Cheese crisp
2. Shredded beef
3. Dew
4. Staff were awesome
5. Large menu

Bottom 5 things
1. Lots of poorly dressed (and hairstyled) gringos
2. Salsa had a weird flavor (not bad but weird)
3. Girly drink menu was limited
4. Guacamole had a lot of onions
5. The restroom was oddly poltergeist-like, tall and skinny and bigger than it needed to be

No website

Popeyes – Minneapolis, MN

As many of you know, Popeyes is my favorite fast food joint of all time, hands down. I don’t usually write about places I go regularly, but since I haven’t written about Popeyes yet, I figured I would at least give it some attention in case I hadn’t mentioned it in the previous posts. . . Plus, so many weird things happened here, I HAD to write it up.

First off this location is typical – not in a great part of town, but not outright dangerous or anything. In fact, it’s in a better part than most I’ve been to (East St. Louis for example). Inside, there are signs everywhere about everything. If you are illiterate, you can just go to hell. Some are hand written, some are typed, some are plastic, some are small, some are large, some are legitimately TINY for their new menu items, some have words underlined for angry emphasis, etc. You get the point.

Gerd ordered her food and had no problem. I ordered mine and apparently they were out of everything I ordered. I was trying to mix it up and get one (or both) of the new items on the menu that came with the subtle name change (Chicken N Biscuits is no longer the game, now it’s Louisiana Kitchen). I tried to get something new and they were out. So I fell back on to the standard (but awesome) strip meal I usually get. I tried a couple different sides and got yelled at because they were out of red beans and rice. Then I got yelled at because onions rings are no longer a signature side (or they were out of them – I couldn’t tell which). I ended up getting mac and cheese. Then I ordered the one new menu item they DID have.

I started with the biscuit. Always buttery and flaky and buttery (did I mention the butter?). Wurd. The Mac and Cheese I had high hopes for, but those were dashed on the rocks of hope. It was really runny and watery and tasted terrible (didn’t stop me from finishing it though, let’s be honest). Stole some of Gerd’s fries which ruled, and then finished up 3 spicy strips. I seriously love that chicken from Popeyes. Wash all that down with a strawberry soda, which I can always count on at Popeyes. I took a couple of bites of the sausage and chicken jambalaya (one of the new menu items), it was really tasty, although a bit dry. This new menu item was a temporary seasonal item a couple of times, but I guess now it's permanent. I took it home and it’s in the fridge for tonight!

At the end of the meal, I looked down at our tray and GASP!!!!!..... Gerd had not eaten her biscuit!!! At this point, I began to question our suddenly shaky relationship. Who was this person sitting across from me (not next to me – I’m not one of those people)? Had she taken a blow to the head? I couldn’t stand it anymore!!!! “Are you gonna eat that biscuit?” She snapped back, “Don’t you touch my biscuit!” Hilarious. I said, “Uh what’s going on? You haven’t touched your biscuit.” Apparently, Gerd saved the biscuit for last as a sort of dessert. She called it dessert since she squirted three packets of grape jelly onto her biscuit and inhaled the thing. Apparently, she saves the best for last and I almost lost a finger trying to commandeer her biscuit.

Bottom line, I love Popeyes, even though this trip wasn’t optimum. Also, there was a toothless woman in the restaurant who was wearing a leather Popeyes jacket (I wonder how long her 13 kids didn’t eat for her to afford that?)

Top 5 things about Popeyes
1. Red beans and rice when you can get them
2. Chicken
3. Onion Rings when you can get them
4. Strawberry pop/soda (depends on where you’re from)
5. It can also be pronounced Pope Yes, since there’s no apostrophe

Bottom 5 things
1. Mac and Cheese
2. Out of a lot of things on Mondays apparently
3. Signage is hilarious
4. Got yelled at
5. The heart attack caused by (what I assumed was) a wasted biscuit

http://www.popeyes.com

Gameworks – Minneapolis, MN

I’m embarrassed I’ve never to bee to a place like this as an adult. I’ve been to Chuck E. Cheese, Showbiz, Razzmatazz, and Tex Critters, but never Gameworks or Dave & Busters. So it was time to go I guess.

We grabbed a bite to eat in the restaurant to make an evening of it. Curt, our host was an awesome guy and Corey, our waiter was awesome as well. Both super helpful and not pushy. Corey hooked us up with an appetizer sampler which had Thai rolls, chicken strips, cheese sticks, and Tater skins on it. All were good, though Gerd wasn’t a fan of the Thai rolls. I liked em fine for cracker Thai. My standards are low though.

Gerd had a Caesar salad for her meal since the app was pretty big. I got a half slab of ribs. They weren’t great ribs, but they were passable. Better then Appleby’s or Chili’s though. But the best part is the availability of Mt. Dew there – awwww yeah.

We finished and went upstairs for some bowling. I performed miserably in all honesty. We played four games next to a bachelorette party of trixies. It was a pretty eclectic crowd overall. After 10pm, they throw out all the kids under 21, so it clears out momentarily. Then the club people show up to play games and drink.

We finished up bowling and hit the bar for a quick sit-down before playing more video games. They have some pretty good girly drinks, honestly. All kinds of stuff with ice cream in it, which ruled. Though our bartender, She-ra (yes that was her name) thought I was a girl when she strolled up. ha ha. Gerd and I shot some hoops (and I won) and we played some Arctic Thunder (which is one of Gerd’s all-time favorite games). She schooled me on that game, but I came back to tie it up with a round of something-or-other car racing. We played some House of the Dead 4 and Hydro Thunder (the aquatic version of Artic Thunder). And we played enough skiball to win tickets for some Mike and Ikes (Coach’s favorite).

We left feeling like 14 year olds, and will probably be back. I’d like to hit up Dave & Buster’s to see the difference, so I’ll let you know how that is.

Top 5 things about Gameworks
1. Bowling with black lights
2. Girly drinks
3. Arctic thunder
4. Bachelorette party
5. The card system for paying for games rules

Bottom 5 things
1. Juggalos
2. Gerd got upset because the basketball game took her money but wouldn’t let her play
3. Far too many Golden Tee games
4. I’m terrible at video games
5. The place can get packed on a weekend night

http://www.gameworks.com/locations/minneapolis.php

Emily’s Lebanese Food – Minneapolis, MN

I got recommendations for this place from a girl at work. She said if I liked Kristos, I would like Emily’s a lot. This should have been my first clue – Kristos is Greek, Emily’s is Lebanese (not Lesbanese like Coach was hoping). Lebanon is southeast of Greece, just in case you’re wondering. They use some of the same ingredients, but the flavors are different.

So I’ll state for the record, I’m not a fan of Middle Eastern cuisine. That being said, I’ll give Emily’s a fair shake.

Gerd and I did some research on Lebanese food so we’d have some idea what to order when we arrived. Fortunately, due to our investigation, the items looked familiar. And honestly, the descriptions looked really appetizing. There are a bunch of smaller things on the menu that you can mix and match and then there are some entrees. A couple of salads and appetizers round off the menu. It’s more comprehensive than I would have imagined.

I originally wanted to do the mix and match thing, but everything I planned to get was included on the combination dinner #2, plus I got Tabouli and bread. Gerd got a combination (#1) which was just a smaller version of my dinner. She also got hummus and a salad (instead of tabouli).

Gerd and I aren’t fans of tabouli, but I wanted to try it there. Rumor is, if it doesn’t taste like dirt, then it’s good tabouli. This must have been good tabouli, since there was no dirt flavor, but the whole thing would have been better with strips of bacon and deep fried. It was good as tabouli goes, but it’s not a personal favorite. Gerd loved her salad. She’s a fan of the dressing which had a sort of “creamy tang” (which I giggle when I hear her say that). The hummus was really good as far a hummus goes. Gerd said there was some kick to it, but vanilla yogurt is too spicy for her. There was no spice. It was good anyway.

The meals came out and looked delicious. They came with stuffed grape leaves, cabbage wraps, and kibbi, which I refer to as meat brownies. Mine also came with a stuffed zucchini and a meat pie (also makes me giggle), which I referred to as a Lebanese hot pocket. The grape leaves are stuffed with ground lamb, rice, pine nuts, and cinnamon. The cabbage wraps were stuffed with rice, cinnamon, ground lamb, and pine nuts, and the zucchini was stuffed with, (you guessed it) pine nuts, ground lamb, cinnamon, and rice. So yes, these all sort of tasted the same, but had a different wrapper. The other things I really liked. The meat brownie (kibbi) was really good. It was kind of a lamb meatloaf brick with pine nuts, and cinnamon, and no rice. They were really good. Maybe they weren’t seasoned the exact same way, so they ended up being good. The Lebanese hot pocket (meat pie) was the best thing on the plate. Light flakey crust, and just take a guess at what was inside.

We brought home a LOT of food since the portions were enormous. Seriously large. So in my eyes, the place is good if you like Middle Eastern food. However, if you don’t, then don’t venture south of Greece. Some things were good though, so I’m sure the food is delicious. It’s just not my thing. However, I’m a big enough person to say the place is good.

Top 5 things about Emily’s
1. Salad dressing (homemade and sell it to go)
2. Enormous portions
3. Hummus
4. Lebanese Hot Pocket
5. Cute local deli/restaurant

Bottom 5 things
1. Same ingredients, different wrapper
2. I don’t think they have restrooms
3. Gerd assumes they won’t sing to you on your birthday
4. The berps afterwards don’t taste good
5. We had to look up where Lebanon was… I admit it

Intronaut, Behold…The Arctopus, Mouth of the Architect – Des Moines, IA

The last time Intronaut played near me, there was a huge ice storm that prevented me from going. I was not pleased. So a 4 hour drive from the Twin Cities was not even a concern for me. I met Sarah, Coach, Tara, Jim, and Smalls at Vaudeville Mews in Des Moines for this stellar show.

I missed the opening band(s) due to the fact that I was starving – see the post on the Royal Mile. But I walked in to see Intronaut saying who they were and starting the show. I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed this show. I absolutely love these guys. It’s a sick combination of metal and jazz. The bass player has some serious jazz chops and drives the jazzy portion of the sound. The guitarists are extremely good and don’t play stupid power chords. There were some real chords being used as a weird mix of metal and jazz. Hard to explain. The drummer was an absolute machine with all kinds of time and temp changes and insane accents where you weren’t expecting. They played some new stuff which was insane. I can’t wait for the new cd to come out in a few weeks.

Behold…The Arctopus played next. Three piece insane tech metal act with a catch. They have two guitarists a bass player and a drummer. Sounds like four but it’s not. One of the guitarists played a twelve string, thick necked “war guitar”. Let me try to explain: Imagine two guitar necks fused together to accommodate twelve strings. Six regular strings and then a six string bass above that, but strung inverted. So you’ve got kind of a high-low-high stringing. The guy tapped both parts at the same time. Absolutely insane arpeggios. He looked like he was playing piano, while jumping around and flailing about. This going on while the other guitarist, playing a standard guitar, shredded some of the most intricate patterns I’ve ever heard. The drummer sounded like he was soloing the entire time, yet, everyone seemed to follow him like clockwork. People stood there in amazement, not sure who to watch. I bought their DVD which shows multiple 3-pane shots of all of them playing. It’s awesome.

While Arctopus was playing their last song, the Intronaut guys stormed the stage and dismantled the drumset while he was playing. Everyone was cracking up, but the drummer kept going with like 2 drums and a cymbal. It’s SOOO nice to see bands have fun on stage.

Mouth of the Architect played next. I was unfamiliar with them, but Sarah reminded me they were a sludge band. If you’re not familiar, that means you play excrutiatingly slow repetitive patterns for like 10 minutes. It’s terribly boring. I was worried that I might drive home at 35 mph after listening to them. I left after song two (which sounded exactly the same as song one)(and just as boring). Which got me home far earlier than I expected.

If you are looking for some extremely talented musicians playing metal, then look no further than these two bands. I will also commend the venue for having amazing sound as well (though I suspect, the bands have their own sounds dialed in to be perfect no matter where they were playing).

Top 5 things about this show
1. Intronaut
1. Behold…The Arctopus
3. The jazzy bass player from Intronaut
4. The 12-string war guitar
5. Cheap merch!

Top 5 bottom things
1. No 2X shirts – come on, I’m tubby
2. Mouth of the Architect
3. The bathroom was REALLY exposed
4. A LOT of tight punk rock pants on the guys
5. Didn’t get to hang with Jim and Sarah after the show

www.myspace.com/intronaut
www.myspace.com/beholdthearctopus
www.myspace.com/mouthofthearchitect