Wrestlepalooza III – Minneapolis, MN

D.Rough and I have some really fun friends who like to watch wrestling. Not the stuff you see on TV, but the amateur stuff where people try to kill themselves getting noticed by the people who do wrestle on TV. There is an outfit called F1rst Wrestling that puts on a serious wrestling-themed party at First Avenue. They bring in bands and burlesque dancers and the whole thing is sponsored by PBR. It’s incredibly fun.

D.Rough has been to ALL of the events, but this is only my second. I was super excited based on the events at the last one. And as a bonus, we got to hang with D.Rough’s cousin Nolan, which we need to do more of, apparently.

I can’t possibly get into all the details of what transpired, but I’ll give you some rough overviews and hope that is enough to convince you to go to this thing next time it’s in town. Don’t think of it as wrestling, where you point out how fake everything is. Think of it as a huge party where some guys beat up on each other and you get to yell wildly inappropriate things at people standing ten feet from you.

A plug on Facebook announced there would be a cat vs dog match (The Charismatic Canine: Yellow Dog versus The Crime Fighting Feline: Wildcat), which was absolutely awesome(ly hilarious). The dog had a puppy toy that the cat used to distract him. And the cat guy had the crowd chanting meow loudly and regularly. Classic stuff. Anywhere you sit or stand, you're going to be pretty close to the ring.

Pretty quickly, we realized there were really awesome places to stand right next to the ring. So, despite our fear of being sweated on, we moved in real tight-like.

Then, we got pushed aside as they brought out the ladders, folding chairs, garbage cans, and cookie sheets to hit each other with.

I got to stand right where the wrestlers come out after being introduced. I was mere feet from Sheik Ariya Daivari, who was boooooed loudly by the drunkenly racist crowd and cheered for by our friend Rocky.

We got to see the Minnesota RollerGirls Announcer John Maddening get kicked in the jimmy before being face slammed before our very eyes (yes, it’s fake, and yes, he DID actually get hurt).

Then, the Wildcat and Yellow Dog came back out to smack around the two kilted fellows by jumping off the speakers onto the floor and then flipping off the top ropes for the pin.

We also got to see Zero Gravity wrestle with the North Star Express, Playboy Pete Huge, 6% Body Fat Rob James, Horace the Psychopath, “The Anarchist” Arik Cannon, and a bunch of other people killing themselves for our entertainment.

Big thanks to the really fun burlesque dancers SweetPea and Queenie von Curves!

And an equally big thanks to Lipstick Homicide, a female fronted punk band from Iowa City, and Bloodnstuff from Minneapolis.

Seriously, that was some of the best fun I’ve had in a long time. I can’t wait until Wrestlepalooza IV!!!!!!