Chicken Brittle (yeah, you read that right) – St. Paul, MN

As I’ve stated before, D.Rough is a bit of a foodie. She both appreciates and creates top-quality food. Sure, she can slum with the common folk and eat a $2 frozen pizza from time to time, but when it comes to nice food, she can re-create just about anything you’ll find in a restaurant or will whip something together like it’s not a major deal (which to me, it always is). I’m just setting the stage so you you’ve got some background on how this next adventure happened.

Some of you know that I’m a pretty serious fan of Chicken In-A-Biskit crackers. Those are the crackers that taste like there’s a salty can of chicken noodle soup in every cracker – brilliant concept. M.Giant is also a huge fan of these crackers. When he and I get together, we dream about near-impossible combinations of food and Chicken In-A-Biskit, much to the chagrin of our friends and family.

I’m putting together a poultry-themed bad movie night (yes, really, I am) for around Thanksgiving. People will be expected to bring dishes which utilize Chicken In-A-Biskit crackers, so this plays right into M.Giant and I’s hands. I casually mentioned this to D.Rough and she casually mentioned she’d be willing to make a dessert that incorporated Chicken In-A-Biskit crackers. I thought I had misunderstood her. I asked her to repeat it and she said the exact same thing. I mentioned this to M.Giant and he also thought it was too good to be true. Then D.Rough told me she’d whip up a batch so I could sample it before the public debut. Done and DONE!

I showed up to witness this creation and D.Rough kept assuring me it was super easy. I still wasn’t even sure what “it” was yet. She described it as a sort of candied cracker. …still not registering. She gave up on me and told me to line the bottom of the cookie sheet with Chicken In-A-Biskit crackers. I did so, and thankfully, didn’t eat too many that there were gaps in the brickwork I was laying out. Step one – check!


Then she threw some butter and sugar into a sauce pan and turned on the heat. She stirred this mixture together for what seemed like forever. She said it would turn all liquidy and then we’d pour it on the crackers. This seemed brilliant, even though I still coudlnt’ visualize the end product. She kept asking me if it was liquidy enough (my term, not hers) and I was convinced it wasn’t ready yet, so I told her to keep stirring. I didn’t mention I had ZERO idea of what I was actually expecting to see when you stir butter and sugar together on a stove. She told me that once it turns liquidy, you have to move fast or you’ll burn it up or wreck something. Again, I pretended like I knew what that even meant. She said something about “Oh no, now it’s going to be toffee” which didn’t sound all that bad. Then she took the now-liquidy mixture and dumped it on the crackers. It looked delicious. Then we quickly threw on some almond slivers to top it off and make it pretty – you have to do it before the toffee hardens or it just ruins everything (apparently). Doesn’t it look pretty?

The whole thing hardened into a titanium-strength coating on the crackers and you could pick up the entire sheet. It looked awesome.

She let me do the honors of breaking it up by slamming the cookie sheet down on her counter top repeatedly. I’ve never done that before, but there was something strangely satisfying about it. We both tried a piece of the crackery toffee thing and I commented it tasted like peanut brittle… with a chicken aftertaste. Hahaha. We coined the term Chicken Brittle right there.

I’ll remind you, this recipe did NOT turn out as intended, but was still magical. Even her cooking-fails turn out better than normal people’s best dishes – suck on THAT food network! Apparently, I let her cook the sugar and butter too long to where it turned into toffee, but it should have been more clear like a candy coating. Apparently, even when D.Rough overcooks things, they turn out amazing. PLUS, she said we get to give it another shot to see if we can get it to turn out properly - cha-ching!!! I’m convinced the whole thing will not be as good as Chicken Brittle, but I’m willing to give it another shot, just so I can eat another handful of Chicken In-A-Biskit crackers while making it.

Seriously, this dessert is awesome. I know M.Giant loved the bag I brought him (and it disappeared quickly), and he said he couldn’t wait until the holidays when he’ll be expecting a pallet full of chicken brittle. I know it sounds really bizarre, but it’s really tasty. It’s hard to go wrong with this. I wonder if we could melt some chocolate over the top of it and maybe have some sort of Chicken-Skor treat. Sounds like some sort of redneck adult film, now that I say it out loud… ewwwwww.