Friday, September 7, 2012

Family Fun Center – Seattle, WA

Since Coach and I are travelling celebrities, people like to hang out with us. We do fun stuff and are fully prepared to leave our dignity at the door. We had gone to a party the previous night and someone mentioned we were the coolest people he had ever met and we should all go do some laser tag the following day (that’s how I remember it). That same person ditched out on us, cough cough Pete Greenberg cough cough. We aren’t scared to go by ourselves, though. We were fully prepared to act like twelve-year-olds at the Family Fun Center. It’s an indoor and outdoor playland with video games, go karts, bumper boats, trampolines, mini golf, and batting cages. How could this not be a blast?

I forgot I was wearing my t-shirt with John Wayne Gacy (dressed as a clown) in a children’s game land. Whoops! The cop I ran into in the bathroom simply raised an eyebrow and walked past.

We bought some big expensive multi pass where we could do lots of stuff.
We did the go karts first. I would highly recommend go karting with Coach. He loves the brake like an old man, so you’re sure to get around him. I bet his father (who’s addicted to NASCAR) is ashamed. Coach got stuck behind this old Asian man and his son traveling at ridiculously low speeds. When Coach realized the man’s wife was taking photos of him each lap, Coach decided to do hilarious photo bombs every time. This is why Coach is awesome – he turns rotten Asian Plums into spiteful wine.

Then we did some mini golf. I did win the first round, but ChickenLittle absolutely destroyed the back nine and ended up winning the second round (he’s a lefty, so I’m sure he’s got some sort of Nintendo mini-golf cheat code). I still ended up the overall champion, but Coach was right behind me.
Then, bumper boat time. I love bumper boats, even when I’m worried about my phone/camera getting soaked. But hey, I DESPISE my phone right now, so the worst that could happen is I get a new one. These boats, as they should, contain water guns on the front so you can hose people down as they get close to you. They also let you spray civilians walking unknowingly past the bumper boat area. They also let you spray Coach in the ween as he’s trying to exit the ride after the whistle blows. Hahahaha. I’m a jerk.

Finally, it was laser tag time. They put us in a room full of small children and moms – NON-hot moms, for the record, even in the dark. One of the moms looked at us and said, “I’m guessing you’ve done this before”. Hahahaha. Yes, and we’re going to stomp your children. Well, we ended up NOT beating their children, since we had a severely incompetent group of really young children on OUR team. I will note that I scored the most points on both teams, with Coach a close second. He’s also a laser tag champion, but I don’t think he has a trophy from it, like I do. Again, I’m a jerk.

I love doing stupid stuff like this with the guys. I wish PulChevy were there to beat us all at everything and to say wildly inappropriate things to everyone 15 years younger than us with a chip on their shoulder. Next time, brother. Can’t wait!!!

Top 5 things about Family Fun Center
1. Bumper boats
2. Go karts
3. Mini golf
4. Laser tag
5. Inappropriate t-shirts in a child zone is always fun

Bottom 5 things
1. This place is NOT cheap
2. Laser tag was not explained well by the 15-year-old worker
3. Incompetent juvenile teammates in laser tag
4. Many video games weren’t functioning
5. The outside stuff isn’t open in the winter months – just a heads up

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