Full disclosure: I screw up Valentine’s Day every year. I
try really hard, but multiple things inevitably go wrong, despite all my
planning. This year was a pretty spectacular fail, in particular. Why does this
even matter? Because this particular activity, one of many I had planned for
Valentine’s Day 2015, was scheduled to happen in February, but ended up
happening in November, due to weather, schedules, and a bunch of other issues.
But it finally happened.
D.Rough and I went skeet shooting. I’d like to claim
romantically skeet shooting, but that probably isn’t the case.
The Minnesota Horse and Hunt Club lodge had recently
suffered a serious fire and had been rebuilt. The place is NICE. Really nice.
It’s a large complex full of all sorts of shooting areas and hunting areas, and
probably horses (which we didn’t see at all). We showed up, figured out where
to park, and went into the lodge. This is going to sound weird, but we were
completely out of our comfort zone. This doesn’t happen very often. Everyone
was in camouflage and bright orange and D.Rough and I were in jeans and sweatshirts.
There was just a weird vibe to the whole place. Not a bad vibe, just something
we were totally unfamiliar with. It took some getting used to. What’s even more
bizarre is how nice everyone was. It was clear we weren’t regular members here,
and the staff and other members were really nice to us and made sure we were
taken care of. Well done, MHHC!
D.Rough and I signed our waivers holding no one liable when
we shot our own foot off. We told the woman behind the counter we had an intro
lesson scheduled with Dennis and she double checked to make sure we didn’t have
a gun. So apparently, you can easily rent a gun form places like this. We rented
a 20-guage and the counter woman handed us four boxes of shotgun shells. I can’t
tell you how out of our element we were at this very moment. Dennis, our
instructor, showed up and introduced himself and grabbed our shotgun. We
followed Dennis out to this beautiful lakeside shooting stand – it looked like
the world’s smallest patio.
Dennis went through a quick lesson on how to click the button
on the remote control and fling the clay discs into the air from different
angles. Pretty easy. Then he went through a pretty quick (alarmingly quick, in
fact) description of how to load our newly rented shotgun. Shell goes in the side
with the metal side facing backwards, push the button on the side to load it,
then click off the safety. Really. That was it. Then he showed us how to track
the disc as it flies through the air. Cheek to the butt, butt to the shoulder
(which 12-year old Chad can’t stop saying now). With your cheek to the butt,
when you move your head, the barrel moves – pretty slick. Surprisingly not
unlike the Big Buck Hunter game at your local redneck bar. Your turn, Chad! Seriously. This was quick. Remember when I
was out of my comfort zone? Yeah, this was suddenly worse.
In a split second, I freaked out a little. Did we have
enough safety instruction before giving me a lethal weapon? Should I be wearing
orange? Will these ear protector things stop me from being deaf? Will I end up
with a black powder coated face like the cartoons? How far do these projectiles
travel? What is my middle name? Do I have a fidgety trigger finger? Who’s hand
is this? What the hell am I doing here? Happy Valentine’s Day, Rambo. Sack up
and shoot this thing! Breathe.
Safety on? Check
Load the shell? Check
Click the thingy on the side (technical term) to load the
gun? Check
Cheek to butt, butt to shoulder? Check
Click off the safety? Check.
Breathe? …………………………………………….. Check, eventually.
Yell “pull!”, but phrased as a question? Check.
Follow the orange disc as it flies straight ahead? Check
Pull the trigger? Check
I’ll be damned, but I blew it apart. First Try. FIRST. F. N.
TRY.
Dennis was shocked. D.Rough was shocked. No one was more
shocked than me, I promise.
I began to tell these two shocked people about how much Duck
Hunt, Golden Eye, House of the Dead, and Big Buck Hunter I have played over the
past 30 years, but D.Rough excitedly told me to DO IT AGAIN! I have the best
wife ever.
Repeat all the steps. Put the thing in the thing. Click the
thing. Cheek to butt, butt to shoulder. Click the other thing. Pull. Track.
Trigger. Clay explosion. I’m now 2 for 2 on reducing the clay pigeon population
of Minnesota. DO IT AGAIN!
I did the things. Shell. Click. Butt. Butt. Click. Pull.
Track. Shoot. Explosion. THREE FOR THREE. This is sooo easy!!!!
Then... I promptly missed a whole slew of targets to bring me
back to reality. It actually isn’t that easy, but it’s oddly fun. Not like
white water rafting or swimming in mac and cheese fun, but it’s fun. I just
happened to have a little beginner’s luck to start the day.
D.Rough stepped up and went through all the steps. She was
as nervous as I was. But she’s also a bad-ass. She missed the first few. Dennis
gave her some pointers. She winged the next one. Dennis gave her some more pointers.
THEN, she nailed one. It was on. My wife doesn’t like to do things she’s not
good at, but once she gets a couple of wins under her belt, she’s on board. She
is now on board – hahahaha
Dennis told us we could walk around the campus and shoot
from different stands. Some in the woods, some on the bluffs, some on the
water, and a couple of other places. We headed into the woods to see how we’d
do without supervision. And frankly, we did pretty well. Neither of us were
going to win any marksman/markswoman awards, but we blew up enough clay discs
to keep it fun. At some point along the way, D.Rough stopped saying “Pull” and
started saying “DRAW”. This was hilariously awesome. This is why I married her.
She apparently adopted some old west gun-slingin’ boss swagger and would make
the most hilarious comments when she hit a target. …which was increasingly
often towards the end. You rule, D.Rough. We finished up all of our shells and high
fived each other (with our lips).
We headed back to the lodge while commenting
on how the walking areas weren’t marked off at all and how easy it would be to
walk someplace dangerous if you weren’t paying attention. Thankfully, we were
paying attention.
We got back to the lodge and went to the restaurant part. It’s
actually really nicely decorated with taxidermy and nice photos.
The servers were all really nice and helpful, which sounded like it may not have been the case in the past (based on comments online). The menu has a couple of interesting game items on it (elk, pheasant, bison, duck, etc.), but we opted for a grilled chicken sandwich and a triple threat sandwich.
The servers were all really nice and helpful, which sounded like it may not have been the case in the past (based on comments online). The menu has a couple of interesting game items on it (elk, pheasant, bison, duck, etc.), but we opted for a grilled chicken sandwich and a triple threat sandwich.
The chicken sandwich was good. Not mind-blowingly good, but
it had a nice smoked gouda melted on it and caramelized onions. We really liked
the soft pretzel bun that held its structure through the whole sandwich. The
fries were pretty standard, so nothing to report there.
The triple threat sandwich is pulled pork, pork belly, and
bacon with gouda and bbq sauce. All of the meat was really good and not dry. Again,
the pretzel roll was wonderful with this usually sloppy sandwich. And the tots
were REALLY crunchy and tasty. We were both glad we got these and even shared
nicely!
Overall, we had a good time at MHHC. Granted, it wasn’t all
that romantic and valentine-y, but it was still fun to do. It’s good for people
to step out of their comfort zone and we were glad we did that. I’m not sure we’re
going to sign up to be members at the club, but at least we know we’re
competent in defending ourselves in the event of the zombie apocalypse. And a
big shout out to Dennis for helping us out and giving us pointers without
making us feel like the morons we are. Hahaha
Top 5 things about Minnesota Horse and Hunt Club
1. Dennis – the guy was a champ and we couldn’t have done it
without him
2. You don’t have to own a gun to do this – you can rent
them
3. This will help you out of your comfort zone and then back
to a new comfort zone
4. It’s both easier and more difficult to do than I thought
5. The restaurant is actually much better than we expected
Bottom 5 things
1. Safe walking areas aren’t very defined
2. It’s a long drive out there from the Cities
3. It can get loud out there with all the gun shooting
4. If you haven’t done this before, you’ll feel
uncomfortable, but it’s pretty easy to get re-comfortable
5. I don’t suppose they’re in the business of romantic,
valentiney-y type things out there – I could be wrong about this.
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