Taco Bell Breakfast Items – Golden Valley, MN

There aren’t a lot of things that will get me out of bed in the morning earlier than I usually overslee... I mean, wake up for work. The new launch of Taco Bell’s breakfast menu items Is, in fact, one of those thing (8 am Happy Hour at Steve-O’s is another one of those things, in case you’re wondering). TheDoctor and I made arrangements to meet up at the exact time Taco Bell opened to be the first in the non-existent line for these items. And yes, we were both also late.

And, there wasn’t a line, either.

The first thing I noticed about this Taco Bell environment is the lights are dimmed down to a hangover-friendly level. Seriously, it’s a breakfast-appropriate level of light, and I’m guessing they hit the regular lights at 10:30 or 11:00 just to make sure there is an obvious ambience shift. Classy, Taco Bell, I like it. There are 13 new breakfast menu items – as you can guess, many of them are tortilla based.

As you can see, a couple of wrap things, a hashbrown patty, some Cinnabon bites, and even orange juice. The thing everyone has been pushing the past few weeks is the Waffle Taco and the AM Crunchwrap. I decided to go for BOTH. I’ll wait until later to pick favorites. The woman behind the counter regretfully informed us someone had just come through the drive thru and gotten $40 worth of Waffle Tacos so there weren’t any sausage patties left. MAJOR BUMMER. So TheDoctor and I both ended up with the same thing – a Waffle Taco with bacon and an AM Crunchwrap with steak. I also got a hashbrown patty to makes sure I could compare it with other breakfast fast food offerings.

Oddly enough, it’s difficult to decide what to drink at a Taco Bell for breakfast. I guess I never thought about it. Also, you have to figure out what sauce you’re going to squirt all over your taco – yes that was written intentionally. Do you go with their traditional hot or fire sauce or since there’s eggs and hashbrowns, do you go with ketchup? Tough calls this early in the morning might be the downfall of Taco Bell’s breakfast menu.

The Waffle Taco was surprisingly good. For this menu item, they make the condiment decision easy for you – they give you a small container of syrup, which is the right option.

I’ll say it’s one of the greasiest breakfast items I’ve had, but only because whatever was on the outside of the waffle basically covered my hands and needed multiple napkins to remove. I’ll pretend it’s butter and give it a greasy thumbs up. I’m guessing the sausage version of this would taste even better than the bacon version, but the bacon version was pretty darn good. Good balance of toppings so not one thing overwhelmed another. The eggs tasted real and the waffle itself had a good flavor. Great work on this new menu item. I’ll get it again.

I tried the hashbrown next. It’s pretty close to the McDonald’s hashbrown, so there’s that. If you like them there, you’ll like them at Taco Bell. I can honestly say I was bummed there wasn’t any magic dust on it like the potato ole’s at Taco John’s. Missed opportunity perhaps, but the things still tasted fine, if a bit plain. Add some ketchup or green salsa for this one.

The AM Crunchwrap is where it’s at though. Lots of ingredients (including a hashbrown patty inside) to make this thing pretty substantial. The steak flavor is what you’d expect at Taco Bell – good, but not a date-night steak or anything. There was a lot of cheese in this as well, so I was thrilled. I covered half of the inside with green salsa and the other half with fire sauce. The smokiness of the fire sauce won the day over the green, so I’ll go with that next time. Also, I forgot how difficult it is to refold a crunchwrap – and multiply it by 10 for breakfast sleepy finger dexterity issues. For your money, this is the menu item that will fill you up all day. It’s pretty damn good. TheDoctor agrees with me on this one, and he only lies on Mondays and Tuesdays.

And there you have a much-longer-than-any-Taco-Bell-review-should-be review of three of the new Taco Bell breakfast items.

[Additional editor's note: Jesse found the coffee to be "drinkable" at Taco Bell, for those of you interested.]

You’re welcome.

Mort’s Delicatessen – Golden Valley, MN

TheDoctor and I were fixin’ to brew some high-octane cider after work, and little did I know that the actual gathering of ingredients and preparation for said brewing takes exponentially longer than the actual mixing and brewing process. One reason for this is the trip to the liquor store to acquire beverages to consume during the brewing process. Another reason for this is to go to the home-brewing store and pick up a bunch of chemistry set things and magic juj-ju powders. Yet another reason it takes so long is stopping for some dinner. TheDoctor suggested Mort’s Delicatessen as a possibility since neither of us had been there. It proved to be an excellent choice.

The front of this place has a deli counter where you can get all kinds of sliced meats and sandwiches and desserts from a glass case. Or you can sit in back and get the full experience. You can grab a table or booth, or you can sit at the counter like old guys – that’s what TheDoctor and I did.

The menu is pretty serious. All kinds of meaty deliciousness ad full dinners. It was extremely difficult to choose. When in doubt, I choose what I think is the most dirty-sounding thing on the menu. In this case, it was “Mike’s Kentucky Hot Brown” Yes, that’s the name of it. If someone ever asked me if I wanted a Kentucky Hot Brown, even if his name weren’t Mike, I think I’d be oooged out just a little bit. And since I was able to stick with a theme – something I like to do from time to time, I also ordered a Dr. Brown’s Cream Soda. If only I worked for UPS. TheDoctor decided on the Rueben which happened to be on special today. Cha-ching!

We didn’t wait long for the food to come out. I wasn’t even sure what I was getting, so imagine my surprise when this heaping pile of brown came out (see how dirty it sounds!?!?!?!).

The Kentucky Hot Brown is fresh rotisserie turkey (one of Mort’s specialties) sitting on what tastes like challah bread french toast (yes, really) covered with grilled tomatoes and bacon and then slathered in homemade parmesan cheese sauce. Heavy? Yes. Delicious? Yes. I had just had a turkey dinner at another restaurant so I didn’t know it was going to be a similar type of thing when I ordered it. However, this one proved to be much better than the previous night (and that was delicious, as well!!!) The meat was very juicy and the tomatoes and bacon added some really interesting flavor in my mouth. Adding the parmesan sauce just made the whole thing that much more awesome. Add in the homemade potato chips and you’ve got yourself a serious meal.

I’m going to have a difficult time NOT ordering Kentucky Hot Brown whenever I see if on any menu from here on out. And yes, I’ll giggle like I’m 12 when I say it. Mort’s appears to have awesome everything TheDoctor thought his Rueben was really quite good (as was the homemade rootbeer they had). This place will work it’s way back into the rotation sooner, rather than later. I really liked it.

Then we went home and poured a bunch of apple juice and magic dust into our newly built chemistry set to make hard cider. Now we have to sit and wait for 6 weeks to drink it… Sigh…




Top 5 things about Mort’s
1. Mike’s Kentucky Hot Brown
2. Super nice wait staff
3. Tons of things on the menu
4. It’s across the parking lot from the liquor sto. Bonus!
5. Would be a good place to grab a quick sammich after work

Bottom 5 things
1. It’s slightly pricey, but not for the amount of food you get. Plus the daily specials are a great deal. It saved TheDoctor like $5
2. Too many delicious things to choose from - alright, that’s not technically a bad thing
3. They don’t have Fox Sports Network, so you can’t watch the Twins play – do I really care? Nope
4. I wish I had known about this place for breakfast – it looks like they have some great options
5. I still can’t say Kentucky Hot Brown without giggling

www.morts-deli.com

Schuller’s Tavern – Golden Valley, MN

EnyaFace! got a new job, so we decided to go out with a fellow unemployed x-co-worker, Biss-kit. EnyaFace! knew of this place in Golden Valley where she used to live – a little roadhouse called Schuller’s Tavern. She knows I’m always for new eateries, so we checked it out.

EnyaFace! told me the place in known for their burgers, specifically the Bacon BBQ Jack something-or-other burger. But just to spite me, she told me the waitress said the Chicken Pot Pie was the thing to order today, since it was on special. Then, the menu itself has a ton of good looking items on it to choose from, so I was exponentially more torn. I was so torn, I let the waitress decide for me. She said I needed potpie. I was game. Make it so.

I scored an 802 Woodchuck also. It just needed to be done. While swilling cider and getting caught up on our various job search (and by job search, I mean Tiger Woods on the Wii), I checked out the environs. There’s a closed-circuit television that shows a view of the parking lot (keep an eye on your car, I guess – or watch for snipers). There’s also a super tiny door to the men’s restroom. Freakishly small. There’s a sweet bumper pool table as well. When was the last time I saw a bumper pool table? 1986. Schuller’s also has live bands on weekends – as in bands you should check out. They’re sort of a music venue in fact, so it’s worth looking into their band schedule.

The food came out and I was pretty impressed. The Garlic Burger that EnyaFace looked fantastic. And the ham sammich thing that Biss-kit got also looked fantastic. But I must say, the Chicken Pot Pie looked incredible. Even better, the Pot Pie was brilliant! One of the best restaurant pot pies I’ve ever eaten. Super light and flaky crust, great tasting vegetables, tasty gravy, and awesome big chunks of chicken inside. It truly was magical. If you see this on the menu, order it. I’m not playin’ on this one. GET IT!

Schuller’s has some great food, and I have a feeling I will be back soon. When you go there, harass the bartender about giving up music. Apparently, he’s an amazing musician and he gave it up. What a waste.

Top 5 things about Schuller’s Tavern
1. Pot Pie
2. They have Woodchuck
3. Awesome list of burgers
4. I was enthralled with the closed-circuit TV of the parking lot
5. Waitress was awesome to talk to and was easy on the eyes

Bottom 5 things
1. Gerd loved divey burger bars, and she would have loved this one, for sure
2. I should have played bumper pool
3. I was SUPER tempted to try to eat the pot pie AND the burger bacon jack burger
4. Bartender who gave up on music - sadface
5. No additional downsides - sorry

JJ’s Clubhouse – Golden Valley, MN

Coach, KingDavid, WiseCracker, and I needed to eat since we all hurt from laughing. Seriously – hurt. When I was at Major’s earlier that week, I drove past JJ’s Clubhouse and wanted to try it. I had never been there before, so I thought.

When Coach asked where it was, I told him it was near where we stayed when we all met for a ball game in 2007 in Minneapolis. When we got closer, I realized it’s exactly where we stayed in 2007 and we did in fact eat there the morning after an all-night Wii marathon in the hotel next door. So I had been there. I’m a moron sometimes.

Anyway, the menu had a lot of bar-type sandwiches on it and we all found something to eat. I ended up with a Cajun Pork Tenderloin and a bowl of chili. It just sounded right. The chili was better than a lot of chili I’ve had at restaurants. Cheese covered and served with crackers. It had chunks of steak in it and was a little bit spicy – without being too much to handle. The tenderloin was seasoned with some spicy goodness and came with two slices of pepperjack cheese on it. Awesome combination. The sandwich was spicy and flavorful and juicy. A couple of stringy parts, but you’ll have that when you’re eating a pork tenderloin. Didn’t matter – it was still really good. My lips were tingling a half hour after eating it, but not in a bad way. I’d get this sandwich again without question.

Coach was impressed by how serious Minnesotans are about their pull tabs (gambling for people too cheap to buy scratch-off tickets). The money goes to good causes like youth hockey, so Minnesotans are serious about it. They have lottery/pull tab booths full time in bars. Very serious.

I’d go back to JJ’s anytime. And the beauty of it is with my lack of short-term memory, I won’t even remember I’ve been there in 6 months. That works to my advantage, I think.

Top 5 things about JJ’s Clubhouse
1. Cajun Pork Tenderloin
2. Chili
3. Good sized menu
4. Kept the refills coming
5. The onion rings looked good – too bad WiseCracker wasn’t in a sharing mood – ha ha ha

Bottom 5 things
1. They have screwdriver specials on Saturday and Sunday mornings, but not Thursday afternoons
2. Slow service
3. Seemed to be a lot of kitchen staff sitting around the dining room
4. Difficult to find off a frontage road from I-394
5. Coke products – no Dew

www.jjsclubhousemn.com

Major’s Sports Café – Golden Valley, MN

I went to a quick business lunch at Major’s on the recommendation of the gentleman that set up the meeting. I hadn’t ever heard of it, but I’m always up for new places. It’s kind of a sports bar atmosphere mixed with casual restaurant. Lots of TVs with various sports but generally a clean and nice restaurant environment. Kind There is a formal dining room section, a sports café section, and a standard bar section. Good thinking, designers – well played.

The staff was super helpful and explained the lunch specials, which were pretty diverse for a sports bar. The menu itself was pretty large as well, so I was sure to find something to eat and not starve. I wasn’t in the mood (nor did I have time) to gorge myself, so I opted for something off the lunch menu. I decided to go with the shredded pork chimichanga. I know, bad move, never order Mexican food at a sports bar. But based on the lack of quality Mexican food in the Twin Cities, I didn’t figure it could be that bad, right?

We chatted about business and such (sounds important doesn’t it? – it might be – time will tell) and the food actually came out pretty quick. Since it was a business lunch, I decided not to whip out the camera phone and snap a photo – my apologies. The chimi was pretty generous for lunch and looked delicious. Lots of melty (real) cheese on top and I found myself looking forward to this one. The meat inside was cooked perfectly and had a god mix of black beans, pork, and more melty white cheese inside. It was pretty good. And for a sports bar in Minnesota, it was great.

I’ll not balk at going here in the future. It’s not really close to me, but if someone decides that’s where we should go, I won’t complain (even though they had Coke products). It might not be top of my list of places to bring out-of-town guests, but it was pretty good for lunch.

Top 5 things about Major’s
1. Pork Chimichanga
2. Sports weren’t rammed down my throat (I’m not a sports bar kind of guy)
3. Nice environment for a business lunch
4. Super friendly staff
5. Quality selections on the menu

Bottom 5 things
1. Probably can’t get in there and out of there in under an hour (I wasn’t even close, but I was yapping)
2. Off a frontage road and parking lot is weird to get to
3. My Mexican rice was a little bland
4. Coke products
5. I didn’t get offered a job at the business lunch – ha ha ha (totally NOT the fault of Major’s)

www.majorssportscafe.com

Doolittles Woodfire Grill – Golden Valley, MN

Gerd and I had a hankerin for some quality wood-fired food. We have been to the Eagan Doolittles with some friends but we wanted something a little closer to home. We chose the Golden Valley location. The environment is quite a bit different than the Eagan location. More loud, more cramped, but on the upside, the clientele were much better looking for some reason. Not sure why I noticed, but I did. Probably can’t count on a restaurant for that anyway, but whatever. Duly noted.

Gerd needed an appetizer so she ordered the Seared Ahi Tuna – a special for the evening. Sliced and seared (so I guess not raw, though it was red) pieces of tuna steak on won ton skins with guacamole and apple slivers. I had two of the EIGHT they brought out and they were pretty good. I’m not a seafood guy, but these might change my mind. They were good. And there were a lot of them. They also had Mt. Dew – SCORE!

Gerd got the maple honey crusted salmon (apparently, she was feeling the seafood), and I got the ribs and chicken combo. Her salmon really made her night, she was thrilled. However, the mashed potatoes it came with were really bland. They looked awesome, but tasted kind of sad. There was a big pool of butter in the middle, so I had high hopes, but was let down. Could have been garlicy or salt n peppa’d or soemthing. On the other other hand, the vegetable salad that came with it (squash, carrots, zucchini strips) was incredible. I ate most of it, in fact. Whoops!

Two times I’ve been to Doolittles and never once had I gotten anything wood fired – tonight was the night! The chicken was some of the best roasted chicken I’ve ever had, even despite the aforementioned aversion to high-labor foods. It was really good flavor and texture wise. I still had to work to get all the meat off, but it was worth it. The ribs were deceptive, I started with an end piece and there wasn’t much meat on it and the top was kind of burned. I was bummed. However, the next 6 ribs I got were incredible. Super thick BBQ sauce that wasn’t too smoky, but was perfectly sweet and tangy. Plenty of meat on these babies. While they didn’t fall off the bones, they were worth fighting for the meat. The fries were better than average as well, so no complaints at all. I was a winner all around!

I have never gotten anything bad here (with the exception of the mashed potatoes this night). Their salads are super good (we’d recommend the asian chicken salad and the spinach and bacon and also the Caesar salad), their burgers and sandwiches are good, and anything cooked on the woodfire grill or rotiserrie is good. They have a selection of foods from around the world, but I haven’t even tried those. I know Coach gets mad at me when I order food other than what the restaurant is known for (ie, chicken at Beef-A-Roo, or salad at a steak place).

Just go here. It’s really good.

Top 5 things about Doolittles
1. Ribs
2. Chicken
3. Seared Ahi Tuna appetizers
4. Vegetable salad/medley thingy
5. Hot ladies / Mt. Dew (equally happy whenever a restaurant has these… ha ha ha)

Bottom 5 things
1. Mashed potatoes
2. Waiter seemed disinterested in us (even though I had a hot lady with me)
3. Gerd’s drink kept running out
4. Men’s bathroom – door opened the wrong way so you could watch people, and the sink was broken
5. Really loud and cramped in the Golden Valley location

http://www.doolittlesaircafe.com