Orphan Thanksgiving – Minneapolis, MN

This year, Gerd and I were unable to go back to Illinois for thanksgiving, on account of having to work the Friday after the holiday. Instead, we were invited to “Orphan Thanksgiving” at M. and Trash Giant’s house along with other orphans. What we were supposed to bring changed like 12 times, but we eventually knew what we were supposed to bring.

We intended to hang out with the Giants the previous evening and then go home and make our food for reheating the next morning. Instead, we got involved in an epic battle of Rockband for the Wii for multiple hours and got home closer to 11pm. This was also when I found out we had to be back at the Giant’s house at 11am. Not sure why I was thinking in the 5pm range, but apparently that was faulty thinking on my part.

So at the crack of dawn, we set out making the cheesey potatoes (double batch as requested by Trash) and corn casserole for the lunch-ish thanksgiving meal. Actually, I slept until about 9, and then made my corn casserole – ha ha ha. Our kitchen now looks like something with batter innards blew up in it, but whatever, we made brilliant cheese-infused food for many people to enjoy.

Before lunch/dinner, I kept mis-hearing the word "corn" and hearing "porn" instead. Subsequently, I was required to run interference with M. Edium in the den. We colored space shuttles (I haven’t colored in over 25 years), and then cut them out (my cutting skills still rule – it’s like riding a bike). Then we built launch pads for said rockets out of blocks. Then we built a wall to the den, which Bitter’s boyfriend knocked over like Godzilla, much to M. Edium’s chagrin. Who knew kids that young even had chagrin?!

Eventually, we had a great time eating copious amounts of food, including an awesome turkey made by a recently-converted former-vegetarian. We all sat around the table, except for trash who sat by herself (apparently on time-out) at the bar/island. It was an awesome time. Everyone spoke plain English (a rarity when your family comes from Alabama like mine), only one roll was thrown (nice shot, Bitter), and I didn’t take my pants off because I ate too much – all in all, a winner of a holiday for everyone.

We then retired to the basement for some follow-up Wii action. A LOT of Wii action, including Rockband, and two pointless games – Cooking Mama and Order Up. Both cooking games. Both steeped in moronitude. Then when Bitter’s boyfriend returned we watched Noah’s Ark with John Voight. It’s the worst movie ever made, and Trash forces MANY people to watch it. (So you know, the writers of the movie took “poetic license” with the Bible – clearly, they’ll burn in some sort of fabricated CGI Hell for so many reasons.) Gerd hadn’t seen it, so she sulked through the entire thing. We tried to make it enjoyable for her, but she wasn’t having it.

We ended up going home quite late which kind of bit since we had to work the next day. But alas, we survived and came home with hilarious stories.

Top 5 things about Orphan Thanksgiving
1. Best hosts and friends EVER
2. Watching Trash’s face when she touched turkey (she’s a vegetarian)
3. First Thanksgiving in 30 years I wasn’t forced to watch football
4. First Thanksgiving in 15 years I wasn’t required to be at multiple houses and eat full meals at each one
5. Hearing people wax poetic about their usual distaste for southern Californian wine but sudden change of heart

Bottom 5 things
1. I did miss my family, and I KNOW Gerd did as well
2. There wasn’t a “bad kids” table – where I usually sit
3. The Halloween candy bucket was severely depleted…
4. Bitter had to go to work that afternoon, so she had to leave early
5. Ate too much, as usual

Sausage Stuffed Meatloaf

Last weekend when playing Wii at M. and Trash's house, we were struck with the best idea ever. I was playing Cooking Mama, the second best video game of all time (next to Animal Crossing), and mama challenged me to cook a meatloaf with sausages stuffed into it. Chao expressed interest in this game for the first time ever, during the virtual preparation of this dish. He thought it looked good and that we should try it. See for yourself:



We recreated the recipe as best as we could and our version follows:

Ingredients:
1 meatloaf
some sausages

Directions:
Stick sausages into meatloaf and bake until done.

Pretty easy huh? I have included pictures of the result:





We bought a ready made meatloaf from Lund's and we stuck Polish Sausages into the middle. It was disgusting. But only because Lund's meatloaf sucks. Next time we are going to make my famous barbecue recipe (famous because it is now featured in my company's cookbook), and possibly stick Lil' Smokies into it. We are confident this will rule.

Top 5:
1. Sausage stuffed in things is always a good idea.
2. Novelty foods are fun.
3. Inspired by a video game.
4. Easy to make.
5. Would have tasted good if meatloaf didn't suck.

Bottom 5:
1. The meatloaf sucked.
2. All of that meat can get kind of expensive.
3. Couldn't tell if it was greasy or juicy, yet it tasted dry.
4. The sausages exploded in the oven because we forgot to puncture them prior to baking.
5. So many sausages, so little time.

Playing Wii at M and Trash’s house - Minneapolis, MN

If you didn’t know, Gerd is a Wii junkie, which is hilarious because she doesn’t own a Wii. There have been emergency trips to Best Buy to play the demo models there. There have been children pushed out of way to play Wii games. There have been hours where she disappeared at friends’ houses during parties when she discovered they had Wii. Since this Wii was purchased by M a few weeks ago, this topic has come up at least 10 times a day at random points. “Hmmm, it’s warm out. I wonder what M’s Wii is doing now.” (Sad but true.)

We got invited over to M and Trash Giant’s house to play some Wii. We showed up with some girly drinks – my specialty. I whipped up a couple of orange or green colored drinks for us, got yelled at for not utilizing THEIR liquor, and we headed to the basement.

Trash told M and I that we would be boxing for her amusement. The last time we played, I got my ass handed to me (clearly M had been watching old game tapes of Mike Tyson). This time, I focused on two moves and returned the ass-handing to my good friend M. I also threw in some sweet dance moves for the ladies’ entertainment.

We played some tennis, which we all played poorly, but was hilarious. Then we did some bowling, which Trash REALLY gets into. She flails about wildly and kicks her feet (did I mention this is bowling?). So you know, they made those wrist straps for Trash. She commanded I stand up while I bowl because I figured out how to bowl while leaning back on the couch. I was a couch Wii star in my own eyes, and still managed to get over a hundred.

We ate craploads of candy, and had a couple of drinks, which puts Trash right to sleep. But we had to end the night with the most pointless game of all time. It’s called Cooking Mama. You have to stir things and crack eggs and peel vegetables. M and I loathe this game, yet somehow ended up giving advice to help out Gerd. Gerd loves games without a point. I think this way, she doesn’t feel like someone else can beat her. You have no idea how pointless this game is, so do yourself a favor and don’t find out.

We can’t wait for the next trip to their house. We always end up leaving with a headache from laughing so hard. I’m trying to live up to the high expectations of providing quality girly drinks, so I’ll have to come up with something new. If you’ve got suggestions, send ‘em over.