This trip to the fair was going to accomplish two awesome things. 1) Demolition Derby and 2) Eli’s Donut Burger.
1) Last year, a group of the Atomic Bombshells – one of the Minnesota Rollergirls home teams – and I drove down to Rochester to see Derby Dan compete in his first ever demolition derby. He and his lovely wife are Atomic Bombshell fans and had their car painted in Bombshell colors. He ended up winning his division last year. So this year, when we heard he was going to smash up another car at the Washington County Fair, we tried to get a bunch of us to go again. Sadly, we only got two actual roller girls, but a couple of other people went along to keep it fun.
The afternoon of this year’s event, Derby Dan and crew invited us over for grilling and painting. He let Boom and Bully paint Atomic Bombshell logos on the sides of the car he was about to destroy. Seriously, Derby Dan and his entire family are amazing people. We all schlepped down to the fair to stroll around and scream really loud.
2) Since we had gotten there early, we decided to walk around the fair. I also might have let Boom’s son (SonOvaBoom)(or SOB for short) know that the guy selling Donut Burgers would be here. He, of course, wanted to try one. I was probably more excited than I should have been, but I had already had one, so I knew exactly what I was in for. I knew from the second I got out of the car that today was going to be a good day. It may have had something to do with the fact that I saw a special needer with a TRIPLE DREAM CATCHER walking out the gate of the fair. Apparently, NOTHING gets past this guy in his sleep. All dreams are caught in an intricate web of string and feathers. Amazing. I will also tell you that I hunted high and low for a TDC (tripledreamcatcher) in the craft barns, the vendor booths, and the midway carnie games. I never found one. He must have gotten the last one!
We found Eli’s Donut Burger food truck towards the back of the place and I strolled right up. Boom thought it was sad that the owner recognized me by sight. But he’s a good guy and chatted us up while our food cooked. And yes, I did get it with cheese and bacon. I also saw him put on a serious layer of donut glaze right before he handed them to us. I gave the first one to SOB so he wouldn’t have to wait. His eyes lit up like he just got a pony on xmas morning. Another satisfied customer. Mine came out pretty shortly after that and I dove right in. These things were even better than I remember. I don’t think I can wait that long in between eating these things now. We chatted with the owner while people walked past and we tried to drum up some additional business for him. I’m not sure if it worked, but I had another amazing Donut Burger, so I know *I* was happy.
We headed back to the demolition derby when I realized I didn’t think I could make it through the day without some cookie dough – yes, I saw there was a cookie dough booth and tried to summon will power. I made it about 100 feet from the gate of the demolition derby before I caved and ran back to get some. It was cookie dough on a stick that you could get dipped. I had mine dipped in a serious layer of white chocolate and got sprinkles all over it. That’s what I’m talking about. It was pretty good. It wasn’t mom’s cookie dough or anything, but it was good. The white chocolate helped the flavor and the sprinkles made me look creepy. I think it was a win all around.
Once we got back into the demolition derby, we were informed that we needed to be trophy girls again, like we did last year. I love being a trophy girl. I’m thinking about putting it on my resume now that I’ve done it twice. We went back and checked out the finished paint job on Dan’s demo car (a Buick regal), and then went and stood behind the announcer’s booth to watch the first couple of heats. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a demolition derby before, but there’s a lot of smoke and mud. EVERYWHERE. People fought to get front row seats with their lawn chairs. I kept thinking maybe this year’s was different than last years because I remember a significant amount of mud clods flying into the crowd. These people were hosed, for sure. Sure enough. Within 30 seconds of the green flag, people were scrambling out of their seats and were covered in all kinds of mud. Absolutely hilarious white trash fun. You have to experience it at least once.
Derby Dan didn’t finish in the cash this year, but he did manage to blow two tires, shredding one of them and losing entirely the other one. It was awesome. Then, after the race, he drove off into the pits like nothing was wrong, even though he was literally driving on his rims. And cutting an awesome double groove in the dirt. We went back and high-fived, because smashing up cars is serious high-five business. Everyone has a good time at these events, I’m thinking.
All in all, it was a fantastic night in Lake Elmo. I’m not sure if I’ll be back next year to this fair or not. But if either Derby Dan or Eli’s Donut Burgers will be there, so will I.