For years now, I’ve known that Popeyes Chicken serves breakfast at some of its locations in DC, and I haven’t been out there in few years to capitalize on it (get it? Capitol-ize? Ha ha ha). Since I knew I was headed out to that area, AND since I own stock in Popeyes (yes, I’m serious), I felt compelled to discover the wonders of pre-lunch Popeyes. I plotted out the two closest location to the hotel and determined today would be the day I’d get up and track down this mystical biscuit-based deep-fried and buttery breakfast!
I woke up far earlier than I thought possible, given that I was out until after 2 the previous evening. Not drinking last night helped a ton – who would have known?! I sent FireRetarded a text saying I would be ready to go if he wanted to join me after I showered. I never heard anything, so I went out on my own… into a cold drizzle. By the time I had walked the 0.8 miles to Popeyes, I was soaked. And when I discovered the doors locked, that didn’t thrill me either. Luckily, I knew the other one was only a mile away.
I got a text from CorpseKitten asking about breakfast, assuring her I was already on the hunt and she was on her own. I hailed a cab and gave him the address to the nearest OTHER Popeyes. He promptly headed off and dropped me off in the HOOD. Ever noticed how most Popeyes aren’t in the best neighborhoods? Ever notice how DC has lots of the not-best-neighborhoods? Fantastic combination. Especially when I discovered the building where Popeyes used to be was gutted for remodeling. I sent CorpseKitten a nasty message about giving up and throwing a lot of money (and safety) away for not getting a single thing deep fried nor buttery. I had to walk multiple blocks to find a place where a cab felt safe enough to drive around looking for riders. I headed home quite dejected and much poorer.
Babo had woken and showered, so we got packed for our trip home laughing about my misfortune. CorpseKitten said to go get breakfast without her since she wasn’t feeling great that morning, so we headed back out into the drizzle. We went to Lincoln’s Waffle Shop across from the Ford Theater. Kind of a run-down mom and pop (though mom and pop happened to be Asian) shop where there was a constant flow of homeless people buying smokes and lottery tickets at the register. Babo just ordered coffee and I ended up getting one of the worst breakfasts I’ve ever had.
How can you cook the flavor out of bacon?!! It seems to defy the laws of physics, nature, and culinary science. The best part of the meal was the plastic bottle of milk I drank with it. At the end of my meal, Babo (my surly Asian friend) stated plainly, “This is why Asians shouldn’t make breakfast.” Thankfully, I had finished drinking my milk or it would have been all over the counter.
We headed back to the hotel to pick up CorpseKitten and head to the airport. Fortunately, the metro station was across the street from our hotel, so it worked out really well. Except for the fact that you can’t use the same metro ticket for multiple people even if there’s a bunch of money left on it. Brilliant, DC. So we bought more tickets (since I couldn’t find the ones Callous-un mailed to me before we left)(I found them at the airport later). We made it in plenty of time and split up to go to our various airline terminals.
I was asleep before the plane was in the air and didn’t wake up until we landed. Then I got a text from CorpseKitten saying she had made it to Milwaukee vomit-free! Hooray for small miracles. I left the airport and drove straight to my first summer class of my MBA career. Wow, that was a reality check…
Top 5 things about the last day of vacation
1. No airplane delays
2. Not terrible traffic going to class from the airport
3. CorpseKitten didn’t throw up on the metro even though she was facing backwards
4. CorpseKitten defiantly sitting in the “special seating” areas reserved for preggos, the elderly, and the physically challenged
5. I stayed awake through class and even understood about 60% of what the professor taught
Bottom 5 things
1. Didn’t get Popeyes for breakfast and still spent a boatload
2. Makes me wish I was independently wealthy so I could travel with Babo and CorpseKitten all the time
3. Lincoln Waffle Shop
4. I was going to class after flying from DC
5. I was missing kickball by going to class