Bad Apple - Chicago, IL

We met Baconator at the Bad Apple after kickball for some drinks. Apparently, this is a favorite hangout of his, since they have a fantastic beer selection. We scanned the menu, though none of us really were hungry (which is unfortunate, since Baconator was waiting for an hour for us to show up so he could eat lunch). So we just ordered a bunch of drinks. This was the first time Trash and CorpseKitten had met Baconator, and they MAY have been warned by a certain vegetarian that they MAY not care for his particular sense of humor. Everyone was civil, but CorpseKitten warned him they may have formed opinions about him based on the considerable smack-talk Callous-un had unleashed the previous 24 hours. I already thought Baconator was brilliant, so I didn’t need convincing, but apparently the girls had to be worn down. Plus he was wearing an AWESOME Milli Vanilli shirt – how can you hate a guy that’s wearing THAT?

I ended up with a J.K.’s Solstice Cider, which is hard cider with cinnamon, maple, and vanilla. Sounds good, but ended up being too much weirdness in one bottle. I should have gone with the J.K.’s Scrumpy Cider instead. The bottle is 24 oz, which was also why it cost $16 – yikes. Baconator ordered food even though none of us did, as well as a drink or two. Which only we will find funny because after about an hour of drinking, the rest of us got hungry and decided to order food. Baconator was less than pleased.

I ordered a burger with black bean and corn salsa and avocado spread. It was one of the specials they had for the day, and it sounded awesome. I also ordered a round of shots of PB&J – a drink TheDoctor turned me on to a couple months back. It’s Frangelico and Chambord – and it tastes JUST like a peanut butter and jelly sammich. It’s more weird than delicious, but I’ve never been a big fan of those kind of sammiches, so I have a feeling that’s my only weirdness with the shot version of it.
Baconator didn’t want to be left out, so he ordered again – this time he went with an appetizer of some sort that looked delicious.

While we waited, we mocked Callous-un’s new Google phone. Apparently, it only works if it is in direct sight line of the satellite in orbit. So anytime she wanted to use her phone, she’d have to hold it up against the window, or go outside into the street and hold it up. Baconator gave her all kinds of hell about it, until CorpseKitten pulled her work phone out. And then pulled the antenna out. Baconator pounced – “What year are we in that you just pulled out an antenna on your cell phone?!” It started a barrage of questioning and mocking that ended poorly. Especially when Baconator suggested Callous-un get an antenna for her Google phone so she wouldn’t have to keep lifting it up to the heavens and hoping a satellite saw her. Classic.

The food came out and thankfully, mine looked delicious. I was really happy with this burger.


It was very juicy without being greasy, and the black bean and corn salsa was a welcome addition to the whole ensemble. I might have to try this at home. The avocado was nice, but probably not necessary, in all actuality. It was the right size for a restaurant burger – just bigger than fast food, but not ridiculous-sized. The fries were also good – again, I’m not a fry-guy, so I could always do without them, but I did end up eating all of them off my plate – so they must have been one step better than decent, at the very least.

One of the best parts of the meal was CorpseKitten continuously putting pieces of bacon on my plate. The best part about that is I have no idea what she actually ordered. But bacon kept materializing on my plate, so I’m assuming whatever she ordered came with a half a pig. Seriously, it was continuous (and awesome).

We finished up at the Bad Apple and all headed over to Glunz Bavarian Haus for this fig vodka that Callous-un had raved about.

The guy working the bar was hilarious and we probably should have tipped him more. He gave us an appropriately hard time during our ordering, especially when I ordered a diesel beer – dark beer with Coke in it. That’s the only way I can stomach beer, and I learned about it in Germany – that’s how you get the kids hooked. Weihenstephaner Hefeweisenbier Dunkel with a hit of Coke in it will satisfy my hankerin’ for German beer anytime (or three). Tasty stuff.


The guy then brought the Fig Vodka out on a big paddle for us and we put a couple more shots back – well SOME people sipped them and then slid them over to me.

They were really good. If you run across Fig flavored vodka anywhere, check it out. It’s very sweet and tasty. Well played, Callous-un. Actually, one of the last times Callous-un and I hung out, we ended up doing shots of Vodka at a Russian restaurant. I think she’s a bad influence on me. We stayed for another beer or two and then to maintain the integrity of our task-master’s schedule, we headed back to Callous-un’s place for dinner and a movie.

Top 5 things about the Bad Apple
1. Burger with black bean and corn salsa
2. Had an amazing drink/beer list
3. Baconator’s Milli Vanilli shirt
4. All of these people drinking shots of viscous purple liquid without question
5. Random pub crawl brought in some stellar tail (was that d-baggy enough?)

Bottom 5 things
1. Random pub crawl upped the d-bag level of this bar considerably (aside from my comments)
2. Super bright sunlight streaming into my eyes from my side of the table
3. Sounded like they were out of Baconator’s favorite beer (which is generally not a good thing)
4. I had to drink far more than my fair share of the shots of PB&J and also the Fig Vodka – oh wait, that’s not a bad thing…
5. The cost of my beer was $16. Seriously

www.badapplebar.com
www.glunzbavarianhaus.com