McDonald’s Off-Menu Monstrosities – Eden Prairie, MN
One of my favorite co-workers, #1Fan, is a food challenge guy. If there’s a food item people can’t eat or finish, he’s up to the challenge. He even won an eating competition on his honeymoon when he walked past a competition and decided to join. #1Fan got a group of co-workers together to go have lunch together and try the Air, Land, and Sea Burger from McDonald’s. It’s considered an off-menu item, but really it’s an item you have to assemble yourself with multiple items. I told another one of our co-workers who knows #1Fan. The last thing he told me was, “Don’t let him make you eat two of them. You know how he is.”
Air=Chicken in McChicken form
Land=Beef in Big Mac form
Sea=Fish in Fish Fillet form
When one person orders all the makings for two of these, the counter people WILL look at you funny. But I’m used to that, so I simply don’t care. I ordered 2 Big Macs, 2 McChicken Sandwiches, 2 Fish Fillets, 2 Fries, and 2 Diet Cokes (because we’re watching our figures).
This is what you get.
To assemble, take the Big Mac and split it apart. You put the fish on the bottom half (since they’re underwater), then you put the chicken on the top, since they fly (sort of). Then for garnish, you throw some fries on top.
The thing is enormous.
And honestly, it’s not terrible. Sure, it’s difficult to get your mouthhole around this thing, but it’s got a lot of flavors going on. There’s some beef, there’s some fried, and there’s some mayo. There’s no bad part. It doesn’t stay together very well structurally, so you have to eat it quickly. And then, of course, #1Fan dropped a bunch of it on his tie (he was headed to a big meeting after lunch), so I’m hoping he had to explain the food spots on his tie during the meeting.
After we finished it, I told him about when HotGirlsBrother and I ate the Big Mac Chicken and the The 10:35 and the KFC Double Down. He said, “How about a McGangBang?!” (After my initial shock at such a forward offer, he explained a McGangBang is a McDouble with an entire McChicken shoved between the patties, bun and all.) I said I hadn’t tried it. He asked if I was still hungry – THIS was what my co-worker was talking about when he told me NOT to let #1Fan talk me into eating two. The guy is smooth. …and I cave easily.
He got up and ordered us the making of two McGangBangs. Two McDoubles and two McChickens. He also scored us some ketchup to lubricate the thing.
We assembled them and snapped a photo.
Then we put these bad boys DOWN. They were really good, surprisingly. They even held together much better than the Air, Land, and Sea Burger. I was glad I had the ketchup though – it helped.
After we finished, #1Fan mad a last ditch effort to get me to then try a Monster Mac (FOUR McDoubles – a Big Mac with 8 burger patties). I could tell his heart was into it though. I bet he could have choked one down if I had agreed, but I didn’t think I should do that to myself. Though, I will admit, I THOUGHT about it.
All in all, a billion calories, but in the words of #1Fan, we had a great time “taking on the Communists who are bent on defiling our fair land.” (You know, the Sea, Land, and Air attack!) All I can say is I’m glad I don’t have any sort of medical biometric screening anytime soon…