Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Bad Movie Night #2 – Minneapolis, MN

Based on the success of the first bad movie night in Minneapolis, I figure I’ll keep these things going on a semi-regular basis. As usual, people bring potluck style food to share, but this theme was rather ambiguous, so we just told people to bring things red or pinkish.

The crowd was smaller than the first movie night, but we still maintained a high volume of high volume screaming along. The movies this time were pretty graphic, but no one seemed to mind until puppies started getting shot. But let me explain before you flip out on me.

Blood Car was the first film shown. It’s about a time in the future (about two weeks from now, according to the opening monologue) where gas prices are so high that no one can afford to drive. This vegan school teacher decides to invent a car that runs on wheatgrass. He cuts himself on the motor and when blood gets in with the wheatgrass it runs. The teacher must then find sources of blood for his car engine. He starts with squirrels and such and then moves to puppies (he only has a BB gun at this point). So yes, it sounds horrific that he’s shooting puppies, except in the film (INTENTIONALLY), you can see the puppy jumping up at the barrel of the gun to play while he’s supposedly shooting it. So it’s supposed to be a horrifically inappropriate scene, but you’re cracking up because you can see the little guy jumping up to play at the bottom of the screen. He eventually starts killing humans to run his car and then the feds get involved. It’s pretty moronic, but it’s got some completely asinine one-liners in it. We’ve also changed the AlbinoRhyno’s nickname officially to Blood Car.

We broke for intermission for more food and then put in the second film. This one I tried to warn people about – the concept of the movie (as told by Patton Oswalt) is waaaaay more hilarious than the film itself. Death Bed: The Bed That Eats. Demon gets blood on the bed which is then possessed. The demon lives behind a painting on the wall. People have sex on the death bed and it eats them (and whatever food they’ve brought into bed with them). It’s a ridiculous plot, but it’s got the most bizarre scenes in it. The bed eats a bucket of fried chicken and a bottle of wine (which most people bring to bed with them, right?). The bed also eats the skin off a guy’s hands so he’s got skeleton hands. The bed lashes out with blankets when a girl’s lower half gets half-eaten by the death bed, but not until she crawls for what seems like 10 minutes away from the bed. It’s an awful movie, but you’ll talk about it for weeks after you see it.

I tried to do my best at keeping up with bartending and washing dishes while people were watching the movie. However at some point, there was a small dance party happening in my kitchen. Zapper decided to show us all how to do the Jerk – a dance move taught to her by her behavior disorder kids that she teaches. I’m not sure the kids taught her how to morph an Irish jig with combing her hair, but it’s sure to be a classic sometime soon.

Next bad movie night will feature a religious theme, so be prepared and be thinking of religious based food. (Or food that will make people say “Holy S*^t!” when they see it…)

Top 5 things about Bad Movie Night #2
1. Blood Car is always a winner
2. I love having people (besides me) yell in my living room
3. LowVee’s cheesy pasta stuff
4. New people showed up for bad movie night, which rules!
5. We had enough chairs for everyone

Bottom 5 things
1. Gerd and I loved to do bad movie night. I’ll always think of her during these things.
2. I forgot to get pineapple juice, so I couldn’t make Pineapple Upsidedown Cake cocktails
3. Death Bed had enough slow spots in it that a handful of people bailed early
4. Enough people were interested in re-watching Weng Weng films that I should have just played them afterwards
5. Same thing as Illinois Bad Movie Night - People were WAAAAY more upset when puppies got shot with a BB gun than they were when kindergarten children were shot execution-style. What is WRONG with you people?!?!


Ruby James Vita said...

There are so many reasons why I need to be at the next bad movie night. Helping out is one of them. I love to clean up. I know - creepy.

I disapprove of puppy shooting, greatly. I do approve of beds eating random things, however.

Eyeheartpizza said...

chad, that really is how i laugh. please never video tape me again. i hate it.

Chao said...

Oh believe me, I KNOW that is how you laugh. It's just magnified by the drunkitude. And of course, I will continue to video tape you.