Friday, April 29, 2011

Porky’s BBQ – St. Paul, MN

When a staple of the community closes its doors, you should try to pay it one last visit before it’s gone forever (especially when that legendary restaurant is being torn down to make way for Episcopalian condos). Porky’s has been in St. Paul a million years (that might be a slight exaggeration…). It was known as THE place to hang out if you had a classic or souped up car that you like to talk about while the hood is up and you’re taking up valuable parking spots outside an amazing restaurant. People drag raced outside of it (though few got arrested) and people would do amazing burnouts and drop all kinds of rubber right in front of it as a shout out to the place. It was seriously old school. And it was closing.


D.Rough and Rita were having a Sunday Funday, so they went and stood in line for me while I was taking care of some homework. I rolled up on them standing in a huge line waiting to even get inside the place for one last taste of Porky’s delicious fare. There was a bizarre line because the new light rail is going in on University Avenue in St. Paul, and there is construction messing up all kinds of places. So people were lining up IN the construction zone waiting.
When I finally got to D.Rough and Rita, they were standing in line drinking Hamm’s in coozies and living up the day. That’s why D.Rough and Rita rule.



One St. Paul legend waiting in line for this St. Paul legend was Fancy Ray – the Best Lookin’ man in show business - look for the guy in the blue suit coat, blue alligator shoes, giant gold star necklace, and permed hair that makes me hungry for french silk pie. The guy is a class act and always dressed like he’s headed to church. And he’s got the kind of energy you get when you mainline 5hour-energy as soon as you wake up. He took a couple of photos with people, including D.Rough and I. He’s hilariously legendary. Like a fancy cartoon.



When you get inside of the place, there was a large sign with a very limited menu. This was intended to get people in there and out of there as quickly as possible. And it worked. We ordered a bunch of food and got out of there in about 2 minutes (after waiting over an hour in line, which we totally expected).

I got an order of chicken wings, and a double cheeseburger, since the BBQ pulled pork sammiches were already gone. I also got a strawberry shake and some onion rings. That’s how I roll.

We grabbed our food and headed out to the picnic tables they had set up in the parking lot. The whole time, all these classic cars, trucks, and motorcycles were coming in and out of the parking lot. The owners would pop open the hood, hang out and talk to each other for a few minutes, and then drive off, after laying down a 500 yard strip of rubber and a choking cloud of smoke.

The food was the kind of food you hate to see go. The burger was really juicy and flavorful without being greasy. The chicken wings were greasy like they’re supposed to be, but very crispy and make you want to eat about 50 of them. The onion rings were perfectly crispy and greasy. And the shake was top notch - actual ice cream and strawberries. Seriously, this food was really really good.

We saw the news crew interview Fancy Ray about the closing of Porky’s. We saw an old mean take a header directly into a puddle and spill his food he had just bought at Porky’s (all that was left in the oil-slicked puddle was one floating onion ring when he walked away – super sad). And we saw a Ford Taurus try to pull into the parking lot and get laughed out by all the muscle cars in the lot.

Rita had to pour some out for her homies gone and soon-to-be-gone. It’s a sad day when a place like this closes, but I’m glad we took the day to stand in line and get one last taste of this place. Thanks for all your years of service, Porky’s.

No comments: