I had never heard of this course before, but TheDoctor had booked us a tee time, so I was basically locked into the outing – it sounds like I’m complaining, but I am not. I was just feeling a little tender after spending much of the previous night at Mickey’s Dining Car.
We showed up way early and they were having a tournament, which meant they were low on carts. We waited around till just about our tee time and someone returned a cart from the tournament. Smallz and I were saved. I knew it was going to be three billion degrees out, so I was hoping we’d score a cart with a roof on it. Thankfully, we did.
None of the three of us started out particularly strong, but Smallz has gotten his game working better and better each time we go out. He really did hit some impressive shots. TheDoctor and I, much fewer shots of awesomeness. I played the front nine with some consistency and my usual not impressive, but solid round. And I shot under 50, which always thrills me. In fact, I beat the other two. The second round was a different story.
As far as the course goes, this is a super tough course. LOTS of elevation changes, but the designer really took the heights into account for the course as well as incorporating the view of the cityscape into the background of the course. There were just some pretty holes out there. The back nine was significantly more difficult than the front nine. The elevation changes were far more extreme and there was less margin for error.
I’ll be the first to admit I totally fell apart after the turn. Then TheDoctor fell apart, and Smallz managed to maintain his game though not quite as well as the first nine. We really had some difficulty on the back nine with water, rough, trees, sand, and anything else that would wind up in our way.
Since I was playing my usual game of bouncing off things, I kept up the hilarity. At one point, I said, if I can just bounce this off the cart path, it will go the rest of the way to the whole. I bounced it off the cart path and onto the green. TheDoctor pointed out, "You are the ONLY person I've ever met that applies mini-golf strategy to regular golf." And it's true. I'll bet if I put a windmill and a clown out on the course, I'd shoot a lot better.
I won’t go into detail, but LOTS of shots, many lost balls, and a broken 3-wood later, we finished the stupid round and headed to Psycho Suzies to meet some friends and drown our sorrows in girly drinks. IT was well needed. Thankfully, none of us got sunburned and we DID truly have an awesome time. IT sucks playing bad golf, but it is still fun NOT being at work and hanging out with golfers of the same caliber as you.
Top 5 things about Theo Wirth Golf Course
1. The elevation MAKES this course
2. This course has awesome views of the city
3. It really wasn’t terribly busy, even for a weekend
4. Both Smallz and I canned serious chips shots from off the green
5. Smallz scored me some girly drinks for the back nine – which I now blame for the back-none meltdown
Bottom 5 things
1. The back-nine melt-down
2. The fairways had some serious burnout and disease showing
3. The course is not forgiving – not the courses fault
4. No Mt. dew in the beer cart
5. The snack bar ran out of hot dogs before noon – not good