Sunday, July 5, 2009

Columbia Golf Club (front 9 only) – Minneapolis, MN

TheDoctor and Smallz and I decided to hit up 9 holes after pre-drinking and then liquid brunch today. It was a small crowd anyway, so we didn’t feel bad ditching people to get out on the links. I had a really rough round the last time we played and I needed vindication. We had agreed to playing at Columbia late last night during the fourth of July celebration, and oddly, no one was answering the phones at various golf courses at 10pm. Thank goodness for We set up a 2pm tee time.

This is one of the cheaper places we’ve played this year, and since Smallz and I think of golf as a recreational activity and not a sport, we choose to get carts. TheDoctor has long legs, so he can keep up.

I’ll start with my review of the course. The course is pretty decent. There’s some excellent topography to consider in your shots, including some elevated greens and tees. But all of the greens have some sort of blight which makes them ugly and bumpy. There was also a green that they had shrunk and the grass around it was supposed to be rough and just ended up being sort of trashed and yellow. Lots of burn spots just off the paved cart paths, but there’s only so much you can do with that. Basically, it looks like a public course. It’s not in bad shape, for sure. But it’s shown some wear and tear, and I understand it’s one of the oldest courses in the area. It’s really a decent course. I’ll play it again. And not just because the beer cart girl was smoking hot (she didn’t have Mt. Dew, so she’s not a keeper, sorry).

Since this is the first year golfing with these two (they’ve golfed for years, just not with me), TheDoctor is entranced by my slice. I’ve already told him people have made comments on the tee while I’m lining up, “You know the hole is over there, right?” I pride myself on my parabolic slice. TheDoctor claims it defies the laws of Newtonian physics – which I’m not disagreeing with. The only way I end up on the fairway is when the ball moves perpendicularly across the fairway, and I’m not kidding. Consequently, I “play the slice” by aiming at a 45 degree angle left of the fairway. And I don’t just slice on the drives, either. I’m a multi-faceted player.

I played a couple of drives off the sloped hills to my advantage while TheDoctor loudly commented on how unbelievable it is. Once he plays a couple more rounds with me and sees that that’s actually how I play, he’ll be desensitized. I ended up with a couple of pars (which is a couple more than the last time I played). I just played solid golf for me. Basically, a normal round for me. I was in the mid-40s and I’ll never be any better than that. A couple of really good shots, a couple of really bad shots, and a whole lot of average (but weenie-arm) shots. That’s my game.

I won’t tell you how much I beat the other two by, mostly because there will be re-match after re-match following any crap-talking I might do. I get the impression that we’re all pretty evenly matched, despite my faulty clubs which make the ball curve like a boomerang. Evenly matched yes, but I also know both of these guys can play solid golf and school me on their own normal-golf days. I used to bet Coach all the time when we played back in Illinois – mostly because 9 times out of 10, I would win. I don’t think I’ll be betting these guys.

However, here is where Smallz left his last putt of the round… hilarious…

And of course, we had to catch the 10th hole (that’s the 19th hole, but since we only played 9, it has to be the tenth hole) at Psycho Suzie’s Motor Lounge and Tiki Garden, which is my new favorite place. I reviewed it so you can find out why.

Top 5 things about Columbia Golf Club
1. I won. Dur
2. Pretty cheap to golf here (though maybe just because we only golfed 9 holes)
3. I pulled off some amazing shots
4. Didn’t feel like we were rushed or slowing anyone else down. That’s how it’s supposed to be
5. I played the entire round with the same ball

Bottom 5 things
1. I miss golfing with Coach
2. The greens were inconsistent
3. Couple of bad repair jobs
4. Hot cart girl had no Dew
5. There’s a couple significant walks from green to the next tee

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