Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Experimental Food Night – M. and Trash Giant’s house

Background: Since I moved up to Minneapolis, about once a week, Gerd and I used to head over to M. and Trash Giant’s house and eat some dinner (usually on Thursday nights to watch the Office). This initially was to pay Gerd back for driving Trash downtown to work each morning, but I have a feeling we ended up more of the beneficiary than Trash did. After Gerd passed away this winter, we made a special point to continue this, since I needed some face time with friends more often now. So we try to do this once a week, and they’re both awesome since they let me switch night periodically depending on my school/homework schedule. And sometimes, I get a wild hair and make some random food that I don’t tell people I can make and surprise them (sometimes, I’ll even make vegetarian stuff).

Since Gerd passed away, Trash has taken to running some experiments on M.Giant and I. She will find a recipe that looks terrifying to her and then make it and see what we think. Trash is a vegetarian, but honestly has made some of the best meat dishes I’ve EVER had. She rocks. (Believe me, she will tell you how much she rocks.) So these dinner nights have turned into “see if there is a food that M.Giant and Chao will not eat” night.

We warned EyeHeartPizza about this experiment night, but she decided she’d check it out anyway. Trash e-mailed me and told me tonight would be a repeat offense – something she made for us a few months ago has been brought up enough times that she caved and decided to make it again. See, gentlemen, you CAN wear down some ladies with constant nagging. Tonight we would be dining on another Chicken in a Biskit Meatloaf!

Last time Trash made this, she gagged so many times, she ate her dinner in the living room while M.Giant, DeliveryBoy, and I fought over this dish (and also drank 3 liters of grape soda) at the kitchen table. This time, Trash made some adjustments to the meatloaf that allowed her to eat at the same table with us, although the changes had odd side effects.

Trash basically takes a couple pounds of ground beef (she added some ground turkey this time, as well), throws in an egg or two and then dumps in a box of smashed Chicken in a Biskit crackers. She also threw in some fake bacon bits this time! Last time she made this, the dish shrank down into a concentrated mixture of brilliance and tasty-osity, but seriously smelled like Chicken in a Biskit crackers. This time, with the addition of the ground turkey and another half box of CIAB crackers, it went the other direction and actually puffed up. This apparently diffused the smell of the crackers, allowing Trash to be able to stomach eating next to us.

This meatloaf is amazing. If you like ground beef in any form, do yourself a favor and make this thing. The flavor is incredible, even if the bacon flavor gets really lost. For some weird science-defying reason, adding more CIAB crackers caused the meatloaf to have less CIAB flavor, which was kind of a bummer, but it was still the second best dish she’s ever made for us (and she has made beer boiled steaks, chicken in a crockpot with swiss cheese, and a host of other oddities).

We finished up the meatloaf (yes, EyeHeartPizza, M.Giant, and I ate three+ pounds of meat and crackers), and got excited for dessert. Now, normally I don’t eat dessert, but when you add bacon to anything, it’s a safe bet I’ll try it. M.Giant came up with the brilliant idea of making brownies, but using bacon grease instead of butter. SOLD!!!! Until we ate it. Apparently, something was lost between the fantasy brownie and the reality brownie. It was a gummy mixture which Trash manhandled out of the pan and threw in a glob on our plates and demanded we eat.

It honestly was not a good brownie, even if you like brownies. EyeHeartPizza had two bites. The first one, she exclaimed, “This is pretty good! I didn’t taste any bacon though.” Her second bite, she exclaimed, “(gag) Ewww, I taste the bacon now… (gag).” I forced down an entire brownie (probably the first brownie I’ve eaten in maybe 5 years), but it was NOT good. Trash demanded M.Giant eat an entire one, since the whole thing was his idea. He had one bite and put his own foot down and said it wasn’t happening. Trash suggested I bring the remainder of the pan to work with me for my co-workers. Yeah, right. I don’t hate anyone at work THAT much.

We adjourned to the basement to play Wii – again, another tradition we’ve had since we moved to the Twin Cities. Before we started, I told M. and Trash that I was hoping to eat at "The Fainting Goat" in Waverly, Iowa on the way home one of these days - looks like a fun restaurant. They had never heard of the place (no one has), and they didn't even know what fainting goats were. I explained that this certain breed of goat gets excited/scared/anxious and passes out or freezes up. They're also called "wooden leg goats". hilarious. So I showed them THIS video and they laughed for hours about it. I especially like the part where it looks like bowling pins have just been knocked down. The goats aren't harmed, and it's hilarious. M.Giant asked the simple question, "How is THAT an evolutionary advantage?!" Just watch the video, if you're unfamiliar. The more people I realize that are NOT familiar with these creatures, the weirder I feel about knowing all about them...

M.Giant and I have been hooked on Shaun White’s Snowboarding game for some time. We’re terrible at it, but we both end up laughing so hard at each other that we can’t breathe. Trash has never seen us play this game because she usually leaves the area, but makes fun of us because we sweat like pigs playing this game – “All you do is LEAN!!!! How can you sweat that much!!?!?!?” Because we’re laughing so hard, woman! She got to see us in action last night. Neither of us know what we’re doing, so we do tricks by throwing ourselves around on the board or lifting one leg up or mashing various buttons. Whatever, it works. I apologize in advance for the darkness of the videos... maybe I'll try to retake the video or lighten it somehow.

M.Giant has a special "Elvis" move where he stands up on his toes. It's a winner. He feels it works better for him since he's a lefty and is controlling a right-handed snowboarder. Yeah, he's a goofy-footer.

We got Trash’s brother, BountyHunter, to try it and he showed us some advanced moves we hadn’t tried yet. This is the first time he’s ever seen the game, but he came down into the basement and declared he would get 3,000 points on his first try. He pulled what were clearly moves stolen from Bill Cosby, and got dangerously close to 3,000 points. EyeHeartPizza began crap-talking him and didn’t let up the rest of the night.

Trash finally caved after seeing how much fun we were having laughing at each other and she gave it a shot. Her moves are more Hunchback of Notre Dame, rather than Cosby. But still effective.

EyeHeartPizza got frustrated because she would try to lean forward, but would put pressure on her heels, defying the games electronic brain logarithms. Hilarious swearing usually ensued. She also suggested that we should maybe dress the part while we played to see if that would enhance the experience. You know, jackets, snow pants, and boots!

Thankfully, no one got me on video as all of my brilliant moves are patented and not for use by the general public.

We ended with some Rock Band playing, where I got mocked for not being metal enough to play Metallica (I died twice during Enter Sandman). But then I got mocked for totally killin’ in during the corny pop songs and “getting into it TOO much”. Haters.

Top 5 things about Experimental Food Night
1. Chicken in a Biskit meatloaf
2. BountyHunter’s super sweet Cosby dance moves
3. Watching EyeHeartPizza spear M.Edium in the stomach while sword fighting, instead of swinging it like a sword. Apparently, M.Edium hasn’t studied defense against a rapier. Maybe we should enroll him in some LARP weaponry classes…
4. Wearing down Trash always ranks high on the list – tonight we wore her down with the meatloaf AND playing the snowboarding game
5. We didn’t have to play Cooking Mama or Animal Crossing

Bottom 5 things
1. This was Gerd favorite night and she loved M.and Trash Giant and playing Wii (not necessarily in that order). I miss her everytime someone says the word Rock Band or Wii
2. A LOT of sweat happens when we snowboard in the basement
3. The bacon grease brownies – good in concept, bad in every other way
4. I need some more depressing friends. My sides hurt again!!!
5. For playing drums for a multitude of bands, I’m a terrible Rock Band drummer


Trash said...

You forgot about the goats! One of the best parts of the night, dude.

Also - so your readers know - I can cook good food, too. It doesn't all suck!

Chao said...

Fine, I added it. I was just hoping maybe it was just you freakshows that have never heard of these things... hahaha